Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I don't post much here anymore, but as this is a major life update....

I got an apartment!!!! My first experience not living with my parents or anybody else! I literally just found out that they accepted my application, like 2 minutes ago. Moving in next month. I have no friends and my boyfriend isn't online right now so DV is the first 'person' I'm telling! So excite! I'll be a 30 minutes bus ride away from my school, but most importantly I'll finally be out of my parents' house! The freedom! Alright, no more exclamation points.

What's amazing is that the price range I was looking at only included bachelor suites. But this place is an actual apartment, 200 square feet more than anything else you can get for the same price. There's an actual living area, bedroom, bathroom, even a little kitchen half-room. (Insert closing/summary sentence here which I don't care to come up with at the moment).

WOOT PartTimeDreamer AND Dianeva!!! Such great news. Use all the exclamation points you want Dianeva, you should post pics when you can.

I'm going to check out those videos later today. I definitely need to add something to my routine of walking. I easily get in 2 miles a day. I'm slowly pushing for 4- 5 miles every day, but it's a process :/

My rave is that the clove flavor grew on me. When I cut it with my usual vanilla bean, it's amazing.

A rant is that my back and right shin (and the front of my ankle) ache. I've been... I don't know what the heck to call it lol. It's like a jog but I don't extend my legs. It's something silly I started a few nights ago. I always unleash the dog when we make it back to our driveway and I decided to chase her as you might "monster-chase" a little kid ("I'm gonna get you"). I was amazed how much I felt that in my butt lol, so I've kept doing it. I don't know if I'll be able to tonight though

Another rave is that I've gotten on a schedule that seems to be working well. I lay down for sleep at 5AM (I'm usually sleeping by 7) and I get up by 2:30. If I need a nap, I'll take 1-2 hours around 7PM. I only take one caffeine pill now-a-days (as soon as I wake and eat) instead of the 3-4 I usually pop.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG I wish they would finish up and release 1.8 already! My old world became buggy and I wanted to play with the new features, but I've started probably 4-6 new worlds since the 1.8 snapshots and have had to ditch every one because they become all messed up.

A new snapshot was just put out since last weekend (last time I played) and when I loaded up the world, my chests were invisible. Ok... but, the reappear when I do a block update it seems. So, manageable. Then I noticed that my mule apparently duplicated. I had a horse, a donkey, and a mule. Now I have two mules, both with saddles and chests. Again, Ok... that's not really so bad I guess.

Finally I go down to my mineshaft because I wanted to do some mining. And the gamebreaker: I can't break blocks. It goes through the animation, makes the sound yada yada, but the block never breaks. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. I am so glad I'm getting time off, might try to increase it as well. Just a couple shifts left until I can get away.
Apart from the retard Lankans, the manager keeps putting me on 10 hour shifts and shit without even fucking telling me.
I've given them my availability like 3 or 4 fucking times and they obviously don't even bother to look at it.
I did it a couple of weeks ago, after I asked him to find someone else, he couldn't so I just did it, thinking it's one time.
He knew it was hard for me to find the time to do the shift, and then he fucking puts me on again for an even longer time!
WTF????

I fucking hate this place.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I don't post much here anymore, but as this is a major life update....

I got an apartment!!!! My first experience not living with my parents or anybody else! I literally just found out that they accepted my application, like 2 minutes ago. Moving in next month. I have no friends and my boyfriend isn't online right now so DV is the first 'person' I'm telling! So excite! I'll be a 30 minutes bus ride away from my school, but most importantly I'll finally be out of my parents' house! The freedom! Alright, no more exclamation points.

What's amazing is that the price range I was looking at only included bachelor suites. But this place is an actual apartment, 200 square feet more than anything else you can get for the same price. There's an actual living area, bedroom, bathroom, even a little kitchen half-room. (Insert closing/summary sentence here which I don't care to come up with at the moment).

Awesome, congrats!
Does that mean you got a job too?

I'm truly happy with myself these days for doing things I thought I'd never do because of my anxiety, it feels so good to get out of the daily routine and do something new. Two days ago I went hiking at 23:00, started walking through the road until I reached a little town where I reposed for five minutes. There were more people doing the same route, so it was nice. I continued walking and reached the entrance of the forest, love the smell of the nature, and after a few hours walking I reached the end, more walking for a while and finally reached the town I was supposed to arrive to, ate some food and relaxed while watching the stars, oh, the stars, I've never seen so many! I was amazed by that beauty and all the different smells. Arrived home at 10:00. So yeah, all night walking, and it felt amazing.

Rant is that these days I can't seem to concentrate when I meditate. I can't find a confortable position. I've to try different types of meditation to see if that works better, or even in another completely different position. Not a big rant though.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKkKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKK

Sefalik... I miss Minecraft SO friggin much and now I miss it more in spite of your rant I really wish hubby would break down and upgrade my machine. It's too out of date and playing most games is impossible. Even a simple game like Runescape doesn't work.. and neither do FB games like Farmville. If you can't play Farmville, you should know something is truly wrong with your computer

Can you find work elsewhere, Tommo? Or you could take a gamble, put in your 2 week notice and state the reason as conflict of schedule or something. Maybe they'd see the error of their ways and fix the problem (or maybe they'd just let you quit lol... it WOULD be a gamble )

Astaroth... sounds amazing. Maybe I'll take my dog to the State Park and go walking some time. I can't stand to walk by myself. Don't know why, it's silly. I just get SO bored I don't know why walking the dog makes any difference. It's not like she's a great conversationalist or anything

My rant is that I missed lucid ops again I dreamed of riding a bike with a group. We were going cross country. It finally struck me and I had a false awakening where I told someone I should have known I was dreaming because I've never been able to ride a bike up hills.
I also didn't wake up with the alarm today and slept an hour over. After I woke, my eyelids felt like lead and it took so much effort to get out of bed. I even fell asleep an hour earlier than usual. That jog at the end of the walk is killing me lol. Which is very sad. You can leisurely walk to the end of the driveway in 2 minutes.

Another rant is that my bird is squawking his head off. He does this every day I wake up He wants to talk, but I want to wake up in peace lol.
I've also had little to no appetite lately. I almost always get a Jr. Bacon Cheese burger and large fries from Wendy's every day. It's my meal of the day, but for this past week, I just can't eat the sandwich. I eat the bacon,mind you , but then I end up giving the sandwich away because I can't stomach it. I'm craving corn, so I eat a small can every day... but corn kills my stomach so I have to take 2 gas-x before I eat it and I still have pain sometimes

I would LOVE some banana slices topped with almond peanut butter and a dab of honey... but the fruit flies would murder me for it. I rarely see the little buggers until I go to eat something

Daymn I've not been around for ages.

Life's been good lately however about a week or two back I was away in Belgium and had a bit of a mental breakdown one evening. I don't really understand why because life's been good so there's been no trigger but my mental health is growing unstable again. But, I have a very good boyfriend who is very supportive when I have bad nights and that kind of helps. I'm also surrounded by great friends and I'm so glad for this group of support that I have.

However, there is something I really need to rant about and it's a really unpopular view.

Spoiler for rant about feminism:

Okay. So I'm getting pretty pissed with all this feminism crap everywhere. You wanna know something? Guess where I've had the most abuse from in my life? Oh yeah, that's right. It's been FEMINISTS that've treated me, a WOMAN, the worst in my life, not men. The amount of abuse that I've received from feminists is unbelievable. It's sometimes so fucking bad that I'm ashamed to be a woman. So don't give me this crap that by not being a feminist I'm violating some God-fucking-given right that you people think you have to rule the fucking planet but I don't need feminism because men treat me a shit-ton better than some feminists I meet. Rant - over. Sorry if I've offended anyone, just cannot take being walked over all the fucking time by members of my own gender, who are campaigning to stop women being walked all over. Where the fuck is your logic you uptight bitches?

Originally Posted by tommo

Awesome, congrats!
Does that mean you got a job too?

Nope, I'm still in school full time (going into 4th year). My parents are paying for the apartment. The rest of the family is looking for a place to rent as well, but me moving out will make it a lot easier for them to find a place (not having to find a place close to the uni, needing one less bedroom, I could take the cat). So it definitely isn't as exciting as it would be if I were moving out with my own money. I'm not suddenly gaining independence. But it will still be nice.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Sefalik... I miss Minecraft SO friggin much and now I miss it more in spite of your rant I really wish hubby would break down and upgrade my machine. It's too out of date and playing most games is impossible. Even a simple game like Runescape doesn't work.. and neither do FB games like Farmville. If you can't play Farmville, you should know something is truly wrong with your computer

Yes, you need a new computer. We *still* go on that Minecraft server and for some reason still have trouble finding anyone who will play regularly. There are all these overground walkways, a mountain we're hollowing out, train stations in both the nether and the overworld, more rooms in our house (I love making secret rooms!) and I'm now working on a cow slaughtering machine that burns them to death so the meat comes out cooked. I miss you in the game and wish he'd get you a new computer too.

Originally Posted by Wishfulthinker

Okay. So I'm getting pretty pissed with all this feminism crap everywhere. You wanna know something? Guess where I've had the most abuse from in my life? Oh yeah, that's right. It's been FEMINISTS that've treated me, a WOMAN, the worst in my life, not men. The amount of abuse that I've received from feminists is unbelievable. It's sometimes so fucking bad that I'm ashamed to be a woman. So don't give me this crap that by not being a feminist I'm violating some God-fucking-given right that you people think you have to rule the fucking planet but I don't need feminism because men treat me a shit-ton better than some feminists I meet. Rant - over. Sorry if I've offended anyone, just cannot take being walked over all the fucking time by members of my own gender, who are campaigning to stop women being walked all over. Where the fuck is your logic you uptight bitches?

Those crazy feminists who really just want female supremacy? Just learn to ignore them. You're definitely not alone in feeling that way. They're pretty vocal, but I don't think anywhere near the majority of people who consider themselves feminists are that brand. Most feminists insist that feminism is all about equality. I honestly don't know where to stand on the definition and if anyone ever asks me if I'm a feminist my response will be "how do you define feminism?" and then I'll answer.

Some youtubers I like seem to be on an anti-feminism escapade lately and say that mainstream feminism is about male inferiority, that the 'feminism' label has been ruined by people with such beliefs and so no one who believes in equality should refer to themselves as feminists. The other common argument is that feminism once referred to a particular political movement which aimed to give women equal rights, but since we've already successfully attained those rights, using 'feminism' to refer to relatively petty issues like resolving the subconscious gender prejudices that still exist is just insulting to the real struggles women face both in the past and in countries like Sudan today. Sure, those issues are important and everyone should strive to get rid of prejudices, but not what 'feminism' should refer to.

But then there are other people who claim feminism is just about equality, it isn't about man-hating or anything else, just equality, and they assert that nearly everyone is a feminist, they just don't know it. They're really just trying to promote awareness of subconscious prejudices against either gender that still exist. They say that although the mainstream anti-man feminists are the most vocal, it wouldn't be fair to let them stand for all feminists, just as it wouldn't be fair to treat the Westbro Baptist Church as though it represents all Baptists. The people who hold this view on feminism are willing to happily correct people who believe feminists are man haters, informing them of the 'correct' definition. So that's why I really have no idea whether to call myself a feminist or not. Both views make sense in a way. The argument is just over the definition.

Hey PartTime, thanks for the reccomendation, my classes are done for now so i feel great. Lots of time to do what I want. It's going to be the best end of summer ever

Sigh, am I the only one who wishes their lucid were as real as waking life?For uhh non sexual reasons of course.I simply wish this because I want to practice skills I would otherwise have difficulty performing in waking life.OH THAT SOUNDS EVEN WORSE!

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Can you find work elsewhere, Tommo? Or you could take a gamble, put in your 2 week notice and state the reason as conflict of schedule or something. Maybe they'd see the error of their ways and fix the problem (or maybe they'd just let you quit lol... it WOULD be a gamble )

I wish.... If I could, I would have as soon as that biatch started destroying my heart piece by piece.
Alas, work is too damn hard to find these days.

I got like an hour of sleep last night due to suddenly feeling sick as hell, so I just told them I couldn't work today. I sounded like absolute shit so it was all alright.
Still gotta go in early tomorrow though.... someone kill me.

Luckily I was able to get lots of uni work done today, so I feel a bit better. May have something to do with the cold pills as well lol
So hungry though, I thought amphetamines were supposed to suppress appetite.... I just can't get full and have been eating all day.

Wishful. Thankfully, I've never experienced that problem!! Anyone militant in their beliefs gets on my nerves though. They'd drive me crazy!

Dianeva, I feel loved I miss seeing you guys in the game too. I can't believe there's no regulars for your server. Are people just not playing the game?

Tommo. Wish there was something you could do. That place sounds like a nightmare.
As for the hunger... is it intense right under where your ribs meet? You *could* be mistaking pain for hunger. Certain meds trigger that in me. I have duodenitis though. Hubby laughs at me because when I take one of his Diedrex (an appetite suppressant) for the energy it provides, I end up pigging out.

My rant is... don't really remember Oh yes... the hordes of flies have finally descended upon us. I have a horse fly and 2 blowflies in my room right now. I killed one of them yesterday (a 4th) but the rest have been able to avoid me. I guess they have a longer incubation period than I thought, or something else is drawing them in.
My left inner cheek and my right lower gum are also still bothering me from grinding. I'm going to have to go to the dentist if this keeps up.

Hubby and I are going to the movies to watch Lucy tonight. Then I'll go to the store and buy some orajel. I don't think it will help with the problem but it might alleviate some discomfort.

It can be really frustrating to continue caring and being honest when so many people around you care only for what's lining their pockets. I still put forth and honest effort at work because that's how I gain a sense of gratification from what I do, but I hardly care anymore what happens. There was a time where I would run around the entire building to cover for people that were out, but for what? I make no extra money doing so, and nobody cares how hard I work to get everything done. Where's the incentive to care? I still tend to do more work than many others, but that's just because I'm not one for small talk and prefer staying busy. I set a slow (for me) and casual pace at work now. If I don't have time to get something done, I don't care.

On another note, my neighbors are drunk and have been yelling/blasting dance music since 11pm when I woke up to my floors rumbling (I went to be around 6pm). Mind you, they had dance music playing at 6:00 when I went to sleep. It's 1:30am now. I was trying to read, but gave up because of the noise. No worries, when they're good and hungover at 5am this coming morning, I'll be blasting my own music. And my stereo can get far louder than their Best Buy garbage. There's another thing I stopped caring about--being a respectful neighbor. Because where did that get me?


Bah, I don't like being so negative. I don't truly mean everything I said, but I s'pose I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Whatever; I'm going grocery shopping now and hopefully by 2am my neighbors will be passed out.



Edit: As for the minecraft server, I tried joined the server IP dutchraptor inboxed me, but I can't connect anymore. Or is there another server? I decided to just keep my world at the old snapshot for now, because it seems stable enough and I don't want to start over again. I just finished the inner-workings of the automatic chicken farm. Just need to clean up and decorate the storage area now.

(redstone is all buggy-looking because of the texture pack; I haven't looked into how to fix it yet)
2014-08-10_01.40.50.jpg

Started watching Supernatural the other day. I borrowed season 2 and 3 on Wednesday and I've finished them today. I've watched 40 hours of a show in 4 days as well as working 2 shifts inbetween. Pretty damn proud of myself I think

I can't sleep.

Today was supposed to be a good day, goddammit.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD DAAAAAAYYYYYYYY D:<

Took a nap, feel better now.

:]

Sefalik, PM Dianeva about the server.

lol, Gavin. I feel that way often myself hehehe. Hope everything is okay.

Wow, Wishful! I'd be proud too lol

I had the same problem, SilverDreams. My schedule doesn't exist anymore. Again. I'm not even sure when I managed to fall asleep, but I slept all day.
I had a lot of stressful dreams, but I don't remember most of them anymore.

I tried to take my teeth out to sleep last night (wear an upper plate, nothing on the bottom), but that wasn't happening. I only take it out to clean. I'm not comfortable without it. My lower gum is even more sore today My cheek seems to be doing better though. I think I just switched sides. Gah.

A rave is that I picked up some unusual potato chips at the store last night. I. Am. In. Love. Which is funny, because I make my kids try everything new and my oldest son spat it out Miley made a funny face and didn't seem to like it until I revealed the flavor: Mango Salsa. She said it wasn't bad once you knew what it was. Weirdos. It's the best flavor out there

Another rant is that my daughter, Destinee, is retarded. They got food stamps so I took her to the store last night. the kids were fed up over fighting over food, so I divided their shares. They each have $150. for the month. Destinee bought a "months worth" of protein bars and flavored water. She's on a dieting kick. I told her to space it out; to not go hog wild because it HAS to last her. This morning she took her last remaining $20. and binged on junk food from Exxon. Dummy.
It's going to be really hard for me not to bail her out. My kids will never leave home if I don't start making them responsible for themselves, though.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Sefalik, PM Dianeva about the server.

The server he was trying to join isn't my server. I'm sure that server is far more active and that's why dutchraptor is attached to it. That said, if anyone is looking for a normal survival server to join, PM me. We desperately want new regulars in the server but there are none besides me and my bf, since Zhaylin left. There are a few people who will hop in like once a week or so.

But I... I didn't "leave" [insert annoying whiny voice]. My dumb computer is hindering me *pouts*

No rants... well, yeah, there is one. My iPad keeps crashing again.
Other than that, all is well. I even went on my walk. I left earlier than usual because it was supposed to rain at 3AM... but it was drizzling while we were out. My daughters friend actually walked with me tonight which was nice. She's been staying with us again.

Another rave is that my son cooked an awesome meal tonight- penne pasta with white sauce, fresh tomato, broccoli, steamed chicken. I devoured it

For some reason I used to think I had to either:

- tone it down, be passive and submissive (ie. adopt the persona of a "nerd") to become an "intellectual" or "scholar"
- give up the books if I want to let my guard down and and go back to the aggressive, forceful, personality I developed around the guys on the block

While out with some folks today, I realized I don't have to stifle my personality for the sake of my academic goals. Why I even held such a nonsensical belief is beyond me. The people in my social circle didn't end up where they are because of their attitude, they got there because they failed to make education a top priority in their lives. I think this is where most of the anxiety and inner tension came from, trying to stifle myself and play a role that didn't suit me. I love to study and play around with new ideas, but I hate being overly polite and a passive pushover simply for the sake of maintaining social harmony.

I should find a healthy outlet for that aggression though so it doesn't build up and spill over at inappropriate times. The last thing I want to do is end up assaulting someone for littering (which I've come dangerously close to doing, several times).
-------
Today was Rakhri - an Indian holiday where we go visit relatives and do "Indian stuff." Relatives badgered me with the same nonsense they usually hit me with when they see me ("did you get your license?, when are you getting married?, you should marry a Punjabi girl, are you working?, you never come around anymore...") but instead of replying with the usual "Yes sir/ma'am," I gave them honest answers. I don't know what I was expecting, but I realized they can't really do anything if I tell them something they don't want to hear. All they did was look surprised, get a little uncomfortable, and change subjects. I don't know what I was so scared of, "normal" folks are even more timid than I am.

Also, either I'm having another episode of hypomania or the "previous" episode never really ended. It's hard to tell sometimes. .-.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuu... My car is in there somewhere... (BWI Airport parking lot "A")

Is that Michigan? I saw that on reddit. Highway was fucked. Hope your car's okay.

Zhaylin, nah it's not that duodenitis thing, I remember talking to you about that a while ago, that pain I had was REALLY painful, this time it was just an empty stomach feeling. It was probably just from lack of sleep, that seems to happen to me for some reason, if I don't sleep I'm just constantly hungry no matter how much I eat.

Also I think I'm getting diabetes, I had an energy drink the other day, and 5 hours or so later, was just watching a lecture on my computer and started sweating, fast heartbeat and shaking. I was just like ".... w. t. f? Why am I having a panic attack? Never happened out of nowhere before and I haven't had one in ages. wtf!!!?" I lay down on my bed and then I realised it was low blood sugar, which has happened twice before. Usually after drinking beer all night. Think I mentioned that a while back.

I'm gonna cut sugar out as much as I can and just eat meat/fish and veggies. Don't wanna be diabetic, that would suck.

Spoiler for Rant/Rave:

Lankan friend being dumb/annoying again. BUT, only 3 days left and I have 2 weeks off! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!
HOWEVER some other shit came up.... apparently a manager put in a complain about me and 2 girls. That guy is a total faggot, he's constantly saying really disgusting/inappropriate shit, which.... whatever, I don't care, just ignore it or go along with it and keep working. But then he complains when I tell him to shut up, which I've said before, but apparently he didn't want me to say things like that in front of other people? I dunno, if he really has complained and the big guys talk to me, I'm just gonna tell them all the stuff he's said to me.

Funny thing was, I was just joking around but I said exactly that, just an hour before that happened. He said "You better not tell anyone the stuff I say" and I said "If you piss me off I'll tell the store manager". If he really did complain, he's the biggest moron ever. I wouldn't have even thought of telling them if he hadn't said that, and now he's given me a perfect reason to tell them. lulwut....