What's stopping you from doing so now? As a lab partner would you not have her number/email/facebook?
I know this isn't an advice thread, but I agree. Do it man! I asked a girl I had been wanting to be with out to dinner to catch up and confessed I had feelings for her, made things super awkward, and we aren't going out at all and I don't regret it a bit. At least now I know what could have been, couldn't have been.
We are not going to Virginia this year, and that makes me immeasurably sad.
Dad says maybe Iowa next year, so I'll hope for that.
Except....there's no mountains in Iowa.
Spoiler for mostly crying and complaining:
No mountains, no hollers, no lookouts, no twisty mountain-side roads, no close route to the ocean, no luncheons at Ms. Ringrose's house, no hugs from Caroline, no peach butter or scuppernong cidar, no late-night bar parties at the Kirkley, no potential black bears...
Perhaps these things sound silly to miss, but I've grown to so look forward to them. It is one of the places from my past that I visit in dreams, as if longing to recapture the magic I felt there, for many years afterward.
And when I get my once a year chance to take a trip out of state...let's just say Iowa isn't at the top of my list. Something new to try I guess, new memories to make.
But as long as you've got good company, I suppose any place can be great and full of wonder.
Why the change in plans, Acatalephobic? I would be upset too. But, as you said, a new place and new memories...might turn out to be even nicer
My stomach is bothering me today. I've been craving soft serve ice cream So I had a large soft serve vanilla with strawberry topping both night before last and last night. Night before last didn't bother me at all. Last night though My reactive hypoglycemia kicked in hard and I slept forever and woke with severe gas pain in my right arm I hate deferred pain. Makes no sense lol
Today I'm craving soft serve and chicken liver Must be slightly anemic or something.
Then I dreamed about being an "angel of mercy" again and I was going to (or did?) kill some kid. I wasn't myself in the dream and neither was "my son", my real sons. And then the dream tied in with all the others and I remembered a dead body beneath the house and worried about being discovered. What the heck? Those dreams are so weird!
Another rant is that my feet always feel dirty... or rather, my socks do. I can't NOT wear socks. If my socks are even slightly dirty, my feet pulsate. (So does my scalp if my head's dirty). I don't understand why. It's weird and annoying- ESPECIALLY since my socks are clean They should be anyhow. They've been properly washed AND dried at the laundromat.
I'm ready to go back to bed. I slept 12 hours after the ice cream I didn't sleep overly well though. Besides the dreams and the gas pain, I think every person in the house had diarrhea last night. The stench from the bathroom kept waking me That, and the cigarettes they smoke while in there. My bed is right against a wall and secondary (blocked) door to the bathroom. Every smell comes my way eventually.
I'm not sure if this is a rant or a rave. But I just finished typing up a resume and sent it to a local brewery. Metaphorically speaking, I just walked into a pitch black, empty warehouse and tried to shoot a rubber-band to knock off a pin from one of the rafters. My resume is probably 'meh' at best, and I'm only interested in part-time work on Friday and Saturday nights. I don't even think the brewery operates 24/7, but what the hell... worst case scenario: my rubber-band will miss. So no real negative repercussions to failure.
Basically: I want to work more. I complained of wasting time, but that's because I don't really have anything to do when I'm home. There are the few menial tasks and such, but... I dunno. I'd rather just work and make money. But we don't get enough overtime, so I'm looking for a weekend jump (that's 3rd shift). Since I don't NEED a weekend job, I'm going to be picky, however. Which means: I probably won't find a weekend 3rd shift job.
We were supposed to go this week, but Dad hasn't been feeling very good. Its a ton of driving, and I think he's uneasy about that, as well as how we would transport his TPN because it must be kept refridgerated.
So I have my vacation days still, but I will have to spend it at home.
The leaves here have been beautiful this year, so I'm sure Virginia looks amazing right about now.
Feeling really down today. Have done much better this week not thinking about Eric, but today when I was putting away an appointment card in my wallet I found the business card from the airfield we visited in Dayton. >_<
I sent him a novel of an email and never even received a response. Just gonna continue to try and forget the whole thing. Years of my life, just wasted on someone who never even cared.
Acatalephobic I hope your dad gets stronger and better every day.
I slept terribly last night but I woke at 7 after only about 4 hours. I'll be taking a nap soon I'm sure lol
Here's some weirdness for you. My hubby's car had at least 1 mouse that kept getting inside. So he set a mouse trap underneath the vehicle, hoping to catch it before it went in. He baits his traps with peanut butter. When he went to leave the next day, the entire trap was gone.
1 days later (last night), I walked off the porch and right at the bottom was the mouse trap. Hubby's house is about 100 strides away. The trap was empty.
However, the puppy was running around outside with something in his mouth. It was a rabbit leg. I'm guessing, a poor bunny got trapped and one of my cats got the rabbit and brought it close to the house, then the puppy found what was left.
Very strange. I told him no more traps outside.
A rant is that someone keeps trying to hack my gmail and YouTube. The alert says the logins were attempted from one of the next towns over. I'm hoping it's my daughter, Zee, so I left an email for her (in my inbox) and I'm afraid to change the passwords, but at the same time, it's likely NOT her. And if the logins are blocked, what's the point of not changing the password unless I tell the alert it was me trying to log in?
I tripped and fell into Some
feelings for someone i
thought i was over. And it's
Really hard to decide what
To do. I know I'm being
vauge. Just needed to put
Anything out there.
can't you just fly to Virgina and rent a place on your own? i've been to Virgina a few times and i agree its a really nice place to visit.
To fly anywhere is too expensive for me.
And I guess I was more looking forward to spending that time enjoying Virginia with my family.
Since my Dad and sister can't go, it wouldn't be the same without them.
Originally Posted by Zhaylin
Acatalephobic I hope your dad gets stronger and better every day.
I appreciate that.
That is my wish also.
I guess I thought after such a rough year, Virginia would really do him some good.
But maybe Iowa can do the same, just have to wait a little longer.
Ugh... no more icecream close to bedtime. Not only did acid reflux make me toss and turn all night, I also had some of the most bizarre (yet ordinary) dreams in a long time. I was at a religious convention in the dream but something was wrong with my clothes, so I decided to go naked and just cover up the sensitive parts when I had to walk anywhere. One of the times I walked, one of the ushers (for lack of a better word) had a frog in his hand he didn't know what to do with, so I took it outside. (Thanks Deviantart for the frog bit). I eventually left the convention and soon became mortified over my nudity and I concluded that I'd never go to a single meeting again
Other dreams after that we religious as well. What the heck, delicious vanilla soft serve? Why do you torture me so?
I have to spend an entire day in the town with the counseling today. My daughter needs her SS card but the place closes at noon on Wednesday. Then they're going to donate plasma... I'm going to pick up coils from the mall which will be the only good thing about this whole venture.
I feel terrible that I cant find a way to stop my friend from killing herself, I tried as hard as I can but I just can't stop thinking about the inevitable last few moments when she finally ends it all, its killing me thinking about it as I just sit here crying. I just wish something would come along and save her...anything.
If there actually is a God, this would be a good time to save Anju.
Last edited by ParadoxOwl; 10-29-2014 at 08:44 PM.
Well, common sense won't help when you have a microperforate hymen.
I know where the opening is, it's just too small to see.
If the gynaecologist won't give me a hymenectomy, my only option is to cut it open with a knife.
I'm leaving DV for now, I'll come back maybe after a year or so if I'm not dead.
Originally Posted by ParadoxOwl
I feel terrible that I cant find a way to stop my friend from killing herself, I tried as hard as I can but I just can't stop thinking about the inevitable last few moments when she finally ends it all, its killing me thinking about it as I just sit here crying. I just wish something would come along and save her...anything.
If there actually is a God, this would be a good time to save Anju.
had a problem with the small size of my vigina. I got married just after my 16th birthday and discovered this when hubby and I tried to make love. I went to a doctor who sent me to see a specialist. I didn’t have MRKH. But the same thing that helps (slowely and painlessly) help give MRKH people a vigina so they can enjoy sexual intercourse,* worked for me.
Here is a Youtube from a girl with MRKH.
(A girl born with MRKH has no womb, or vigina) at 4:00 of the 10:36 minute Youtube mentions that.
had a problem with the small size of my vigina. I got married just after my 16th birthday and discovered this when hubby and I tried to make love. I went to a doctor who sent me to see a specialist. I didn’t have MRKH. But the same thing that helps (slowely and painlessly) help give MRKH people a vigina so they can enjoy sexual intercourse,* worked for me.
Here is a Youtube from a girl with MRKH.
(A girl born with MRKH has no womb, or vigina) at 4:00 of the 10:36 minute Youtube mentions that.
Yeah. Poor Anju seems to be dealing with much worse. Please, Owl, send her our love, prayers, and positive energy.
Absolutely.
Emotional turmoil can cause a person to think or even do some crazy things.
Sometimes our past and present is so painful that we can see little else.
But it helps to remember that the future offers the ONLY opportunity for things to get better. By denying ourselves a future, we deny ourselves hope, and essentially we refuse to allow things to get better.
And believe me things will get better.
Spoiler for hope:
Looking back to a time where I felt I was in my darkest hour, I feel there were very few things that kept the light on for me.
One was the thought of those I loved being forced to bear the weight of my choice.
I felt I'd do anything to spare those I loved such pain, even though my own sometimes got the best of me. They deserved to feel happy, even when I felt I did not.
Sometimes we see our lifes as only our own, and overlook how much our lives intermingle with others, and how our choices affect them.
I had this vague notion about the...poetic justice of life if you will.
It seemed greater than me, and in a way I felt that interfering with that would cause my story to end in a way that I didn't want it to. In a senseless way, really.
The beauty of life I feel is in it's mystery. Although we sometimes wish we could call all the shots, that simply goes against nature.
It sounds weird, but it's kind of like how skipping to the end of a book won't teach you anything. The ending is devoid of meaning without the journey it takes to get there. I thought of all the sad stories I'd read my whole life, and how mad it made me feel to see a character's story end unfairly, too soon, for the wrong reasons, etc.
And I felt unwilling to let that happen to me in a sense.
I looked back and I thought basically "the only way to get right is to keep going then. Ending it here would only succeed in making my story a complete trajedy."
Without hope, very little is possible.
With it though, almost anything is.
Often we find it in the smallest, most unexpected places too.
Reminds me of some quotes I've come across in the last few days:
"Courage, dear heart"
"Be patient and tough, and one day this pain will be useful to you."
"Today, give a stranger one of your smiles, it may be the only sunshine he sees all day."
Last edited by acatalephobic; 10-30-2014 at 05:35 PM.
Reason: forever editing
"When you feel happy, really happy, it somehow seems that you’ve always been happy and that you’ll always be happy. The same is often true when you feel sad, or lonely, or depressed, or broke, or sick, or scared. Something, perhaps, to remember."
It's been a nice week. A little awkward because I don't really fit with these people I've been going with at college. Anyway, I'm meeting more people and hope to find my place somehow, someday. I don't have much time because all the stuff I've to study, and next week I've a calculus exam, so I'm scared as fuck.
I've been dreaming with him lately. It's crazy how when I dream of people I like I have irreal dreams, I mean, I dream with things that would not actually happen IRL, like most people I guess. Dreaming with stuff you don't have. The thing is that with him is different, dreams work the same way real life works, all the things, the thoughts and actions, the feeling of loneliness and despair are absolutely accurate. And so is the feeling after waking up. Fuck that.
When I was a teen, I dreamed of being abducted by an alien (who looked human). His name was Jeff Tassin and we had triplets together. It's strange, now, that I only remember the name of one of the girls (Zalary... there were 2 girls and one boy). I dreamed about them every night for months on end and even wrote a novella about it I always felt so lonely and empty after I woke up and they weren't with me.
My rave is that I bought an iTunes card tonight and some in game purchases for Junk Jack X. I also had ice cream for dinner... so I'm going to be staying awake to skirt the whole acid reflux thing. The weird dreams probably aren't diet related, but stress over the trip. I've been having strange, angry dreams every night for a week now
A rant is that I still can't play Minecraft PE... it just makes me too nauseous lol. No serious rants, at any rate
This was the first year in...at least five that I've gotten to dress up for Halloween.
And I loves me some Halloween.
I felt like my outfit and mask was on point, but stupid me never even wore the mask or wings.
Half the time I had a giant brown sweatshirt covering everything.
Not one single photo of me was taken with the whole nine on.
So afterward I thought, man, why did I even try so hard?
What's worse was I wore my contacts for the first time in forever, thinking I would wear the mask, then felt horribly exposed without the mask OR glasses. I even wanted to work the glasses into the costume but I thought of it too last minute!
Hands down though, the best costume goes to Heather as Tom Cruise a la Risky Business.
x}
Plus the radio was our DJ and for the first time in many years I heard Cake on the radio. And Weezer!
It wasn't Pinkerton Weezer but between that and Going The Distance, the radio kinda made my night.
Last edited by acatalephobic; 11-01-2014 at 06:26 PM.
Reason: oopsie
So I feel like just staying at home forever. Don't want to meet people... but I have to get to that rehab work stuff, though. It's boring and totally not what I want to do, but at least I get a bit more money from now on.
The past's still haunting me and probably will forever. Dunno... so... ... sad.
Rumpel, Tommo.
Get over your cold (?) quickly, Tommo.
So glad you had fun, Acatalephobic, despite everything. Try again next year
Gah! I was just about to make some tea but thought to smell my cup. Miley washed it for me a few days ago. And yep... smells like a dirty sponge. arg!!! Be right back...
... which is why I wash my own dishes lol I've been back on a Coke kick, so this is the first cup of tea I've had since ?? maybe since I returned from Chicago. I threatened to sew the kids lips if they kept drinking my soda and so far, they've been laying off
I'm still on a major ice cream kick. Which I don't understand because it upset my stomach royally (lactose sensitive). Maybe I should just start taking my Calcium pills again. But they upset my stomach too unless I have a very full stomach.
I've been using MyFitnessPal again. My calories tend to be just under the recommended 1330. But my carbs and sugar 56 over my carbs, 1 over my fat and a whopping 118 over for sugar. I'm under with protein (by around 20mg) and sodium (by almost 700). I'm not exercising. I might start with the boxers shuffle again. Out of everything, it's my favorite thing to do (other than walking, but the weather's too bad).
A silly rant is that I cannot find an episode of NewGirl that I want to watch with Miley. I'm going to end up re-watching every series before it's over.
Miley has a very bad habit of overreacting. Ray tells her (when she's being incredibly annoying) that he's going to smack her in the face. Miley responds with "Yeah, and I'll stab you in the throat." I have a verbally violent brood, but that's beside the point I've always told my kids (in the hypothetical) to try to respond with "like". If someone smacks you, you smack them- you don't pull out a gun and shoot them, for instance. If someone calls you names, you don't run them over with a car. My kids were bullied and always vented all these extreme things they wanted to do, which is why the whole thing was even ever talked about in the hypothetical.
ANYHOW... there's a character on New Girl (Winston) who canNOT pull off a practical joke. He either extremely under or over does it. It reminds me of Miley. I've seen 2 episodes that come CLOSE to the one I'm thinking about, but I've not found the ONE yet.
Wish me luck Of course, Miley's already offended because I made Ray watch the episode when it came out, so he gets my jabs at Miley. Miley, however, thinks we're making fun of her. I guess we sort of are, but only in context and if she saw the episode, she'd be in on the joke and would understand.
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