Originally Posted by acatalephobic
As for ranting;
Okay so, I'll admit that I do and say some weird/crazy stuff sometimes...
But is it crazy to be confused when someone gets mad that you gave them two pennies?
Because that happened to me today.
I used two pennies for her, and gave her 65 cents back.
She first asked where her pennies were. Then protested when I told her that I'd given her two, saying she wanted to give her pennies away. Then she accused me of doing this to her one time previously (never seen her before, btw), THEN said she would just tell me beforehand next time (because obviously, how thoughtless and rude of me to give away two cents).
Lady, with all due respect...
You wanna give away your change so bad?
I handed you your change 2 minutes ago, before you started arguing.
Pitch the nickel into the dish and call it a day already.
Gyazo - c5e0f79f96f9ceedd08d346d637800dd.png
Especially when that's what you were gonna do anyway!
- I have ones that request paper bags for me (presuming you’re working at some kind of grocery retail), have too many coupons, and then ask me if I scanned the coupon stuck on –insert item name here-; the coupon is at least half an inch wide and too miniscule for the naked eye, and then they debate on the price of potatoes, whom you call the assistant service manager to double check; while they’re on their way to check, the customer asks if I can just hurry up to see if the price is right or wrong so they can go get another one if the latter is the case (when they realized they want to end up looking like an idiot)
- The ones that sweet talk to me, and then by the end of the order, they try to manipulate the pleasantries given to me to get some kind of special discount; nope nope nope nope nope nope poker face nope nope nope nope
- The ones that don’t see an item labeled on the coupon, and figure that if they get the bigger one, they’re entitled to a discount; they proceed to sublimate their rage to the ones they’re with instead of cursing at me, because they know deep down if they direct that to me, I will patronize the living hell out of them.
- Ones that get pissed off of me patronizing them, asking to call a manager, only for the manager to patronize them; apply cold water to your burnt fucking ego, or the manager kisses their ass.
- The ones that know/didn’t know there’s a limit of 2 per customer on certain meats, beers, etc., and then I see:
o They come into the store again to make another purchase
o They have a joint check, and tell you their spouse is going to pay the other
o The y scream at you, blurt out expletives, and other unorthodox ways of settling a dispute thinking it’ll scare you to do what they want
o Get their friends to make the other orders, which is technically allowed, but still ethically bullshit within the store policy for some circumstances
- The ones with plastic bags filled with coins:
o You ask them how much is in there, and they either -> A) “You’re a smart boy, you can figure it out.” B) “Let me see if I can get all of this change out, if you don’t mind?”
o They use that in supplement with their food stamps and WIC cards, then they’re WIC/food stamps card don’t have enough, and you end up putting the real amount left, and then they pay with physical cash that would’ve been enough instead of a bag of coins
- People with WIC/food stamps in general that get hot and bothered on why things aren’t working…maybe get a job? (This isn’t talking about those who desperately need that for their children; just the ones that want their free peach drink, lunch, etc. that they should be paying for without those cards)
- The ones with recyclable bags; you ask if they want their meats in them, but they express a snarky tonality that you can stuff them in the bag for cold items, “because that’s what they’re for;” Sorry, I’ll just mix your salmonella along with your peanut butter as well, sorry for the stupid question of being considerate of your well-being, ma’am/sir.
- Children in general that want the store’s currency just for children (e.g. buddy bucks);
o They make a gesture with their hands of a “come on already”
o They look like their face is going to explode when they ask, “Can I hav sum buddy bux?”
o They become a broken record if you don’t respond, and they sometimes go behind you while you’re busy, and their parents just have no consideration of their ill-mannered, demonic child
o The ones that scream when they get instant winner; it’s like we’re starting them young on gambling addiction in the spin n’ win
- The ones that use organic bags conceal multiple fruits and vegetables you have to take out for the sake of being consistent with inventory, and they either:
- Ask why you’re doing this
- Say they’re all the same price
- Say they don’t have organic (and they end up having it when you check the PLU)
- They check their receipt, see you scanned organic, and then it’s back to the patronization games with showing them the PLU, and informing them it is organic
- The ones that revel in double checking they’re coupon because you actually gave them a speedy checkout:
o They either do it to kill time, and are social awkward, and read the receipt that’s as equivalent as looking at your phone, and pretending to type while you don’t know what to do in a 4-way street.
o To double check if their coupons were processed, and they have the exact price memorized to perfection, and berate you if a few didn’t apply
o The used to be nice to you, and exchange pleasantries with you, but moment you tell them to have a nice one, and they can’t get their 25 cents coupon, you’re automatically on their grudge list
- The ones that are looking for an available register, and you’re on express, and they have more than 15 items; they look down their noses to count even though they clearly have 45 items; they see you’re not reacting to them to go to full service, and then when they do, I troll them and tell them to go to full service
- “Why can’t I go here? There’s no traffic?”
- “Oh sorry, I didn’t see the sign in neon lights that it was 15 items or less…tee hee”
- “Can I get a manager real quick?”
- Any circumstance where they just need to salvage whatever remnants of their ego so they don’t look stupid
- The ones that couldn’t get the coupon, and expect that you have a grandiose coupon machine that you can just 1-2-3 BOOM, print, and give to them.
- Any circumstance and duties that aren’t your responsibility that they want to use you as a scapegoat for
- The younger people that come to buy alcohol near closing time, and any customer in general that comes 15 minutes before the store closes. I can’t wait to be able to make an announcement with the movie trailer guy impression to tell them to get out.
I’ve learned to bury my emotions, and sense of self deep within my psyche, performing like a robot, and working through pain while sustaining an inferiority complex to progressively become better and better, and now they want me to become an assistant service manager.
The service manager herself practically puts her hands together in a prayer gesture knowing that I applied for the position after hinting to me for months if I wanted to become ASM. She almost had a heart attack when she realized I also applied for Bookkeeper, but assured her I wanted to be an ASM instead. The store is in a complete mess team-wise ever since 3 of really good ASMs left, which means I’ll be joining the scapegoat team we call assistant service managers.
And the funny part, I won’t technically be an ASM that just stands there and orders people around; I’ll just become a vagabond ASM that’s a checker and sacker to keep the traffic going. Because the other ASMs already abuse that I’m a robot in the first place while they casually talk about their quotidian lifestyles, and abuse the in-group favoritism their peers and managers stroke their egos with. And I have to create an imaginary objective point of view of how to observe their personalities with a neutral disposition (so I don’t fall into favoritism of personality rather than work ethic), and assess them in a non-confrontational way.
It’s like I’m creating another persona, but there’s only so much capacity one can stuff their sanity into the void. I know your pain all too well, and at least we have a void deep within us to share, huh?
Originally Posted by acatalephobic
Pitch the nickel into the dish and call it a day already.
Addendum: I subscribe to existential nihilism, and call it a day because I won't let one circumstance kill me, and go full existentialist on them, i.e., a robot that wants to have a sense of responsibility.
This thread is therapeutic, but sometimes I feel microsoft word/notepad binge ranting/raving is close to home to me
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