Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by Athylus

Whenever I want to tell my dad I love him and realize my feelings, I nearly cry. It's sad knowing they will pass while I am still young... they, together with my sister are the most important people there will ever be to me.

Sometimes I feel like it's hard to show my feelings, like they need to be locked up. But I can feel them, and they are real.

Whenever I find it difficult to express my feelings in this way, I try do it with a card or a letter.
The writing process helps me to better determine what I really want to say, and also because it's written it is something they can keep if they like.

A few years ago my mom began a tradition of giving out letter disguised as cards, and I think it's truly the perfect gift. It was like she kept track of all the things she may have wanted to say that year but hadn't, so she would on Christmas, before the year had passed. She can shy away from expressing feelings sometimes, so perhaps writing works best for her as well.

Some feelings require restraint sure, but I don't think showing love to those most important to you is normally one of them. Why put off til tomorrow what you can do today?

A few kind words or actions often require so little, and yet they can sometimes mean so much.

I hope his surgery goes excellently and he makes a speedy recovery!

I second the letter/card idea! I've always been terrible at telling people, verbally, how I feel. When I was a teen, I started putting the words on paper. One Christmas or Father's Day, I made my dad ??? I don't even remember what it was any more. I remember catching the edges of the paper on fire to give it a sort of antiquated look. I wrote something- a poem, a letter, then rolled it up and sealed it with a thin ribbon. He still cherishes it.
It's a practice I've gotten out of. It takes a lot of work, so it's easier to just buy a card But I don't do that, now-a-days either.

I forgot to call my mom this weekend I'll have to call her tonight... if she can talk. She hasn't been doing well at all. She has imG, uses gammaguard and has been in all sorts of misery for at least a couple years now. She's getting pnumonia again and the doctors just told her she has some skin cancer (again). All of her kids and most of her grandkids live up here in WV, while she and my dad are in FL... which she has always hated. She's very close with my brother. He just did move up here a couple years ago. I hope things turn around for her soon. I always feel guilty because I'm not close with my family. My mom misses that though. I wish I could be a better daughter, but I just can't tolerate them (or most people) for extended periods of time. It's not that they're horrible. I'm just not wired that way. And drama REALLY wears me out.

My rant is that ??? I'm just blah. I've been overly sleepy and somewhat headachey forwhat feels like forever. Mr. Monthly is about to call on me, so that probably explains that My son's going to have me run him all over town tomorrow to look for ??? gah! What was it called again. Thermal paste or some such. The Playstation keeps overheating and he watched a YouTube video about what's probably wrong. He bought some tools last night, but he needs the other stuff before he opens the machine.
I've been playing EQ2 and loving it. Poor Hulu has been neglected for almost a month now. SOme of my shows have expired because I've just not been in the mood to watch them.

My youngest will be 18 years old in 2 days. I really hope she reaches out.

Originally Posted by Voldmer

It's probably best to find some (safe) way to express those feelings. Feelings that are suppressed have a nasty habit of finding their own way out. It's much better to guide them, than to be taken aback by their chosen means of expression.

Of course, that sort of advice is obviously easier to give, than it is to follow.

I tend to keep in my anger and frustration, that's why I take kickboxing classes. I obviously only vent it during bag training though haha, not during sparring classes. But you know, sometimes I just snap given the right circumstances. Well, it works out in my favor anyway haha.

Originally Posted by acatalephobic

Whenever I find it difficult to express my feelings in this way, I try do it with a card or a letter.
The writing process helps me to better determine what I really want to say, and also because it's written it is something they can keep if they like.

A few years ago my mom began a tradition of giving out letter disguised as cards, and I think it's truly the perfect gift. It was like she kept track of all the things she may have wanted to say that year but hadn't, so she would on Christmas, before the year had passed. She can shy away from expressing feelings sometimes, so perhaps writing works best for her as well.

Some feelings require restraint sure, but I don't think showing love to those most important to you is normally one of them. Why put off til tomorrow what you can do today?

A few kind words or actions often require so little, and yet they can sometimes mean so much.

I do show, but not through words. I hug my dad, give him a kiss every night and clean the house etc. Telling my mom outright that I love her isn't so hard, I just cuddle. I kiss my sister as a greeting or when I leave, or just play silly games with her. But still, I guess there's just a lot of love inside of me. However cheesy that sounds.

Yeah I was writing in a diary when I was quitting weed, and put my feelings in there. That helped me a lot, but obviously I don't show it to anyone. It's a bit personal for me.

Gah! Still headachy and blec... plus I am also fighting with my unwanted monthly visitor two days early
My sleep schedule is majorly messed up (but what else is new )

I'm going to be busy with the kids all afternoon with going to computer stores to look for that paste, to the blood bank, the mall (for me), and counseling.
A rave is that the mall means new coils, which is great. I should also be getting my e-juice in the mail today. I hope so, anyhow. I'm out of my vanilla/clove. Joe Latte is too sweet any more.

I guess I should try to take a nap seeing how I only got 4 hours of sleep last night.

Rave:

I'm indirectly promoted to Assistant Service Manager, and the first interview was literally this:

Spoiler for ;:

She literally used a notepad for the interview.

All that hard work over these few months, and it's not even a year yet, finally paid off. Hopefully, I can use the position as a gateway for other jobs while finding a way to get back into college again. Hopefully the neutral disposition I had before will evolve into something better seeing how I spent so much time letting the co-workers define me by my work ethic rather than only my personality that usually ends up in favoritism gone wrong. I'm not sure if I have to talk to the unit director, but if the first interview only took like 3 minutes or less, this one shouldn't be that bad, but either way, I'm technically in the team now.

If I'm ever still in this company, I'm not going to be surprised if I can shift up to Service Admin, or even a director in a new store. It makes me question what degree to go for after getting out of that state of naivete while in college. And with more programs in the future that don't really require a degree in the first place that would pay more than a college student just graduating, and having a job after that, not sure if getting in 10k-20k debt again is worth it. So I might just consider one of my teachers' advice in High School to take the rudimentary courses in a community college instead of a university where it's all about beer, football, and ugly women (personality-wise, mind you).

All of this hype society builds up just to find alternatives to middle class.

MANY congratulations, Link!
How about a trade school? That's what my eldest is thinking about doing. It's not all mechanics and carpentry now-a-days. There's computers, truck driving (CDL?), nursing etc. You could start small and see if it fits then move on to college if it's something you want to pursue further?

My rant is that I'm awake I fell asleep at around 10PM and woke at 2AM I never did get that nap yesterday until I was in the car, waiting for my son to finish counseling. And that was only for 30 minutes.
I had some friggin awesome dreams last night though. I was Miksa, from Helix, standing at the edge of a floating island. There were people around me. We argued about an affair and a safe house, betrayal and the likes, then I jumped off the edge. I was falling quickly, looking at the roots pass me by. Survival instinct kicked in and I tried grabbing the roots. Sure enough, my fall started slowing and I reached some ground safely. I was amazed at how warm it was down there (the surface was snowy). There was more but I guess I'll paste this into my DJ. and finish what I recall. I don't remember very many awesome dreams any more.

Another rant is that my e-juice didn't come in Surely, it should arrive today.

A rant/rave is that I called yesterday to take my car to the shop. My inspection sticker ran out last month Thankfully, they can see me so soon. My tires also need rotated.
Then I have to spend some time at the laundromat. Blec.
Next week, I'll be driving everyone to work again. The girls were hired back and my son will likely be placed into the next training class on the 15. He has to check in the middle of next week. Hopefully that won't change for the worse. He NEEDS a job.

Oh happiest of happy days My youngest called. She is alive
She's actually been DV stalking me so she was up to date on the latest theories, fears and family drama.
I'm glad my sister never learned of this place. My daughter doesn't want me to tell them anything. Which is perfectly fine with me.

I got my car inspected and all that and I was trying to take a nap before the phone call. Now I'm too happy/wired to sleep So I'll get back on EQ2 and craft things which always puts me to sleep. We'll go to the laundromat later today/tonight before they close.

But DD called and wants me to pick her stuff up from her Aunts... gah. Now I have the pleasure of talking to them :/ hehehe

**EDIT**
That did not go over well at all. I FB messaged my brother-in-law (my sister blocked me some time ago and like an idiot I forgot all about emailing her ) He was insulted because I was treating him "like an idiot" seeing how EVERYONE knows I picked my daughter up when she ran away (not). He went on and on and by the time I finished reading his post, my pulse was racing so I checked my BP. Bp was great at 111/85 but my pulse had spiked to 131!
I told him that you can't speak with civility to people who know everything and on and on and called him an asshole
Then he wrote another 2 long rants, told me to have a nice life to which I replied "adios" and blocked him.

My sister emailed me in the midst of all this though and she was civil. We arranged (somewhat) to meet next Wednesday so I could pick up my youngest's stuff... but she no longer has the info DD needs.
My BP is slightly higher at 120/86 but my pulse has slowed it's butt down to a tolerable 96. Why does anger do that? I guess it's the whole fight or flight thing but sheesh.

SO- I just took a caffeine pill I'm going to crash hard after the fatigue and adrenaline rush, but there's no point going to sleep now. We desperately need to get that laundry done today.
Another rant is that my e-juice STILL hasn't come in It was shipped out in the 28th. It usually only takes 3 days. If it's not here by tomorrow I'm going to start worrying that it was lost...

Thank God.
Everything went well.
/breathes

As time went on I started to get more and nervous. Tried to sleep through it, really. Then finally they sent us to a little room, so I then I got really worried. I hate the little rooms.

But truly this was the very best possible outcome we could have hoped for, short of them actually removing the tumor. The doctor even said he was pleasantly surprised by the degree to which the cancer had already spread, as he was expecting worse.

Such excellent news.
I'm so happy right now, I dont think I could complain even if I wanted to!

Why did I start watching wedding proposal videos on YouTube? Why? Seriously, now I'm drowning in tears.

Take home final exam.

Whatever grade I get on this will determine if I pass or fail the course, and if I academic standing improves or I get put on academic probation.

6 days to finish it.

Fucking go, go, goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Acatalephobic. I'm so happy to hear everything wen better than expected!

My rant of the day is that I'm awake Seriously, self?!
And I'm hating these clean clothes. I'll wear the same skirt and shirt for a week unless I get them dirty. I don't feel comfy in freshly cleaned clothes until at least the 2nd or 3rd day. I started thinking it was from residual soap but I have the same problem using the laundromat. I switched to Tide so it's not a cheap soap thing. Next, I'll try the dye/fragrance-free stuff.

Having peaches for breakfast. I've been on a fruit kick lately which is really strange for me lol. Ooooh, and especially fruit in jello- but I'm out of those.
I cannot open the plastic seals though without splashing juice on myself What the heck?

Ooh I feel like crap. I usually get headaches everyday but for the past week they've been pure torture. I can't concentrate or keep myself sane. I had to lie down on my bed with a cold flanel for a week, and with no access to pain killers. The headaches have all been turning themselves into migraines and it's painful. First day was the worst and I was pretty much wanting to kill myself from the pain. :c My back is also sore too.

I want to put in a positive part in the post but I can't find one. Um. Sort of getting motivation back to write stories? Yeah I dunno.

Feel better soon, Astral.

My rant is that I'm awake again I don't know what's up with this new schedule. I just can't stay awake, so I crash by 7PM then wake up from 1-3AM. I even went back to sleep by 6-11-ish AM yesterday for a whopping 12+ hours of sleep. But I was still dead to the world come 7PM
I dreamed of a massive car crash last night. A bus turned on its side and was smashing into a school. In the midst of the panic, I woke up.

Other than that, all is well. I got more peaches in jello and some coke yesterday. My stomach has never been happier

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I cannot open the plastic seals though without splashing juice on myself

I can't either, so now I peel back the plastic just a tiny bit, and drink most of the juice before opening it all the way. Clumsy people problems. x}

If you haven't already you should try the Dole Peaches & Cream or Apples & Cream. Very yummy, and minus the juice if you're opposed to drinking it.

Oooh, I'll have to try those. I did figure out how to open them though. Just tilt the container backwards I'll still get a splash (right in my eye ) from time to time, but it's not spilling on my hands any more.
And I LOVE drinking the juice.
Even with my cans of corn (pop tops). I just open them, drink the water then eat the corn straight from the can.

Here is a list of stuff I have to do by Friday:

-Make a table of contents for a big presentation on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
-Write an author biography (2 pages single spaced) + outline other novels/essays by the author (3 pages double spaced)
-A 3 page summary of the novel single spaced
-Character Analysis (2 pages single spaced for each character)
-Explanation of the genre + 5 page analysis of author's writing style (dictation, syntax, length, mood, etc)
-An annotated copy of 20 pages from your novel
-3 page explanation of why the novel is a classic
-One critical essay (5 page double spaced) + Write an outline for a possible sequel or prequel (10 page double spaced)
-Make a 25 question AP type exam with an answer key
-A 5 page essay on the literary and historical time period when the book was written.
-3-4 page literary analysis essay
-15-20 minute oral presentation

I am not even exaggerating a little bit! This is what I have to do for my English class by Friday. Plus, work from all my other classes and stuff for the hospital I volunteer at. I am going to go insane

I need to read that one of these days, Mancon. I love the musical
Try not to go too insane with that hectic schedule!

My rant is fatigue. I'm still falling asleep early and waking up at the crack of dawn. At least I've been sleeping through the night! Now the girls are working and they don't get off until 11PM I'll have to start taking naps again

I'm also ranting over the puppy. He ran off yesterday and was gone all night. He showed up this morning, limping. He is such a good boy. He let me poke, prod and pull everywhere for an extended length of time. It feels like he sprained his "ankle" (?). The muscle along the back and side of his lower leg feels a little inflamed. Nothing feels broken. He has a very slight abrasion on the side of his foot. I imagine he got caught in a trap or had his foot lodged in something some other way. So I wrapped it and he's actually left it alone.
He's drinking okay but I've yet to see him eat anything. If his energy doesn't come back by tomorrow I'll have to get an advance from hubby and take him to the vet. The girls don't get paid until the 20th though Maybe they can work out a payment plan?

Holy crap, Mancon, hope you can manage!

My course is coming to a close and I thought I was in the clear -- until my science teacher needed to talk to me about my grade just now. I was supposed to do a science presentation last week but I decided to do my social science essay as that was more important (I already had just over 50% - 50.55% - for science so it was supposedly a pass, and I hadn't passed social science yet). Now he tells me that 50% might not be the passing grade and I'm freaking out. Damn, my parents are going to be livid. (And he rang them up! Why?!)

But he's going to send an email to the course coordinator just to double check about the grade, and I hope it's a pass. Or else I'm screwed.

I hope everything works out, Astral. What a headache!!

My rant is the internet. It keeps cutting out. I don't know if the company is messing with it, if it's my router, or if it's on hubby's end. whatever the reason, it's annoying as heck.

My rave is that the puppy's going to be okay. He's still hobbling around, but he's back to his energetic, happy self. My son said something that triggered a memory. We had a dog, 7 years ago or so who ran off and came back with a trap still attached to his foot. A kid had set a bunch for foxes and he was friends with my youngest. He actually asked for the trap back lol This is that exactly. Which means the dogs have been running to the pond (10 minute walk or so)... unless there's another trapper.

My son let the dogs out last night to do their business... and they ran off So with my headlamp on, I went out to find them. They found me first, so at least they stayed on our property. Turkey's. It's the leash or chain for them from now on.

Time to find food and wake up...

It's taken an act of Congress for me to get THIS far in DV. I don't know if this will actually post though
I am having MAJOR internet troubles. I've tried rebooting the router umpteen times. I've restarted my computer several times. When hubby got home, he restarted everything on his end.
Gah! The internet still sucks. So I drove to our provider and asked them about it. Everything checks out as fine on their end.

So- our modem/router/whatever might be going bad or we might have bad wiring. Whatever it is sucks lol. I can't stand not being connected.

My eyes are still driving me crazy because they're so dry or allergy-annoyed. And I have an annoying rash/something on the side of my neck. One bit feels like a blister. I think it's because of irritation from my e-cig strap

I also have a headache but have to go to the store in 30 minutes. Then I have to leave to pick up the girls from work at 11:30. I just want to go to bed.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

It's taken an act of Congress for me to get THIS far in DV. I don't know if this will actually post though
I am having MAJOR internet troubles. I've tried rebooting the router umpteen times. I've restarted my computer several times. When hubby got home, he restarted everything on his end.
Gah! The internet still sucks. So I drove to our provider and asked them about it. Everything checks out as fine on their end.

So- our modem/router/whatever might be going bad or we might have bad wiring. Whatever it is sucks lol. I can't stand not being connected.

My eyes are still driving me crazy because they're so dry or allergy-annoyed. And I have an annoying rash/something on the side of my neck. One bit feels like a blister. I think it's because of irritation from my e-cig strap

I also have a headache but have to go to the store in 30 minutes. Then I have to leave to pick up the girls from work at 11:30. I just want to go to bed.

How long has it been since you ran the "Disk cleanup utility?"
It's over there, Under the start button.. {Accessories- System tools-disk cleanup} It sometimes works wonders....
Or just click the little windows sign in the lower left and type "disk Cleanup" and follow the instructions

All client user data lost because of a bad connection... there's just one more option to restore it back, but it's not 100% sure and we have to wait. If that fails, I'm guilty as hell... Hate to dream with it!

Thanks Wobly. It's been a while since I ran it.
Turns out our Provider was full of crap. The internet started working fine in the wee hours. Today, when hubby was at work, everyone was complaining their internet had been down. The strange thing though was that the complaints came from all subscribers... there's 3 different providers in our area and all of them had issues yesterday.

My rant is my stomach. Gah! At the same time, though, I had lots of super yummy food. Today was the Christmas dinner for hubby's office. This year was strange and awkward. They have always given each other gifts as well as hubby and me. This year, they didn't get for each other, so hubby and I opened ours alone. They always get their bonus checks for the year at this dinner, but it was still weird being the only ones opening gifts.

I got some nice stuff... some socks, a shawl, a tote, a super soft blanket, a pedicure set and some Bath and Body Works scented hand sanitizer. Ah yes, and a wonderfully soft and warm hoodie.
Tomorrow, we go to the house of the lady we have Thanksgiving with. She's having a party at her place. I was sick last year and didn't make it. I need to be sure to remember to ask her what size e-cig her friend uses. She wants me to make a couple lanyards but e-cigs come in a ridiculous variety of sizes.

I'm sleepy and want to go to bed but I have to pick up the girls at 11:00. I will be SO happy when they get a car (they're shooting for a month from now).

I'm not very 'up-to-date' in the world of literature. I just finished the the fifth book of A Song of Ice and Fire thinking it was the last. Good thing that's not the case, because it left open just as many doors as previous ones. Bad thing is that the reason I thought it was the last book of the series is probably because it's the last finished book in the series. Now I wait.