Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I need to buy a new phone. I'm happy with my old nokia, but I need to use apps to book cabs which don't work on my phone. They never give you cabs when you try to book on their website or on phone. Now I have to buy a new phone just for one stupid app. -_-

Originally Posted by Anju

I need to buy a new phone. I'm happy with my old nokia, but I need to use apps to book cabs which don't work on my phone. They never give you cabs when you try to book on their website or on phone. Now I have to buy a new phone just for one stupid app. -_-

If u care, u can use android apps on a PC using this program called "BlueStack". It's very easy to use to, but I noticed it can drain my RAM (My laptop has 4GB RAM).

Rant: I need to figure a way to tell my mother that I don't want this career and wanna change majors. She knows I am not passing this year. Maybe I should just tell her right now that I don't wanna ruin my life by working in a career I can't stand at all. She always says "this is the best paying job u can get here" and I really hate this mentality. Seriously, most ppl don't know what makes them happy and they buy into the wealth deal for happiness. I'm researching careers extensively now. I just don't know how to tell her though that I'm skipping this year and want to change major. She tells me that if I lose this year, that'll break her heart, and also she's a very angry person, so it'll get heated. But, remember how she thinks I'm gonna fail this year? At least that'll cushine the news. Plus, this major really is hard, especially in the public college. The success stats aren't comforting.

Rave: I got another semi lucid last night. This makes it 3 LDs this week, but 2 of them were semi lucids, but at least I'm getting my skills back, so this is not a problem cuz I'll start getting more lucid and lucid and have less semi lucids. Man I'm glad I'm taking it easy. I was worrying I wouldn't have enough Umph but thnx to the 2 years of (inconsistent) hard work, I got enough skills to back me up. I'm kinda happy now about this. My recall is working nicely too, and I'm DJing every morning. Just u wait a few more months and I'll have consistent pretty vivid LDs Then I'd have to worry only about stabilizing the dream and not waking up right after I become lucid.


Something: I'm getting excited for Chillstep now (a genre in electronic music). It's very magnificent and uplifting in my eyes, and packs lots of power, and the nice thing is that most of this comes from crisp punchy saw stack, which I really enjoy practicing, especially that they work with chords. There are elements of warmth too, and honestly if I choose to go with plucks for that, I might und up making a form of melodic dubstep, but this is actually a beautiful thing that I don't know how to go through developing that style, cuz this means I have lots of options and will experiment a lot!!

I've tried installing Bluestacks before. It isn't working on my laptop for some reason.

I'm at 47 000 words in my NaNo. Most of it is ever very personnal stuff or useless because I didn't have a good grip on my characters, but I'm really starting to know them and I like what they became of the course of this month!

Spoiler for nerdy gushing about writing project and Tvtropes links:

My heroine, Tessa, has goes from a rather shallow faux action girl to a more well rounded normal badass with a tendency to go mama bear on anyone looking funny to her friends. She's a lab rat for the police and her only superpower is being able to drink her own weight in coffee without getting jittery. Magic give her the creeps biiiig time.
Her sidekick, The detective Festus, is a crouching moron, hidden badass with a love for cheaps magic trick. He's a lefty, a bit of a daredevil and may have pyrokinetic power. He is the one that changed the least
Tessa's close friend is Andrei, a vampire who started as a stereotypical handsome lech before morphing into a adorkable lovable coward with zero clue about how relationship work. He changed a lot!
The antagonist are Soledad, a female vampire adept at Xanatos gambit playing up her The Vamp personna (and faking her ethinity as hispanic to go along with the cliché) and her sidekick Nathalie, a vampire Soledad made who is a smug snake with delusion of power and a total drama queen.

somewhere in the middle there's a murder to solve.

I am such a bad person My youngest is coming home for a couple of days. she's staying with one of her childhood friends, but she'll be over. The plan was for her to stop by for a few hours, surprise her sister, then I would take her to her friend.
SO, I told Destinee to hurry up and finish cleaning the kitchen because there was a surprise.
"Is it Zee?" She asked. I tilted my head a little to the side 'No, I don't think so.'
She then went on to guess "is it a puppy... Memaw..."
But then the fun really started.
"Mom said something's happening before midnight!"
"Did I?"

Which is pretty much what I did all night. "Did I.. Is she... Did you... If you say so."
Then Destinee started calling me a damn liar, sure nothing's happening.

I got a message from Zee saying they were running late, so she was just going to go to her friends house first.
Now I'm REALLY hearing it from Sis. I just say "Good things come to those who wait." then I pick up my ignorant act and deflect the questions.

Hubby just called and tried bailing out on having dinner with his employees. But I sounded too upbeat about going so he caved and we're going.
Free food is free food and we always enjoy ourselves once we get there.

Hope everyone is having a great day.

It has been a brutal last couple of days. But wonderful too.
Zee got here and Ray was TICKED. He couldn't stay in the house, so it was off to the RV. No notice, no food, no lighting, no heat. 12 hours of that and he was ballistic when he got to come inside. He later apologized, though and the next day she came over, he was prepared and didn't mind his exile in the least.
But I discovered that I am too old for all-nighters Zee's girl fell asleep before picking her up. She was supposed to get her at around 4AM... which turned into 7:30AM and all of us girls were about ready to fall over tired.
I just wish Miley had joined us more. I got no pics of Miley with us because she was so anti-social.

We had some nice talks and lots of laughs. She wanted to take my dog and Simon, but Kerra was too gassy for a 5 hour car ride and Simon freaked out once she got in the car. They were going to sleep for a while at a rest stop then go to another house for a couple of hours before pressing on and we were too worried Simon would run off at one of the stops.

Zee was supposed to be with us until late tonight, but things changed and she had to leave early. I don't know if our sleep schedules would have survived so it was still okay. wish we got to spend more time together though.

ZeeSisMe112815.jpg
Zee, Destinee (Sis) and me.

Learning piano by myself without a teacher and figured out a basic version of the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song on piano. The notes are E G A A B C C E D B G G A... Figured I would learn the theory and stuff before I get what I want to start recording which might be a while.

Looked for management classes for the company I work for, and the earliest one is until May, but it's located about 200-250 miles away. I'm not sure if a 3-4 hour drive, which probably entails waking up at least 7 hours beforehand, justifies any potential I could have for this company. Even though several managers asked me if I'm interested in the program the company's offering, I don't know if I can take the risk for it, even though it's the last class I have to take, I think. But judging by my progress so far, it wouldn't be too surprising if I got into corporate in a few years after I finish the rest of my college degree. If that ever was a probability, I wouldn't care how far I would have to drive, but the company in general seems to be desperate to get people in their program with new locations coming in the near future, and it would be foolhardy for me to not capitalize on that.

Hopefully, I can talk things out with my bosses, and see if there's any alternatives, which I highly doubt is the case. Might have to start putting up those contingencies later on in the near future if it'll take too long to get a seat in any class. Though, I think there was one person who applied for the program, and didn't get to finish a few of their classes, which means the bosses can make certain exceptions just by their status alone. It's a big deal to me since I can strip off a few years of sacrifice and all that to create a blank canvas to make a family, or at least explore things a bit more before doing that.

But it's not the end of the world; I'll continue to fight for a better future.

Raves:
My girlfriend might help me buy a new computer. I'm hoping for an Asus!
Having a good night so far no stress hopefully will get some lucid/non lucid dreams in tonight!
I have a great boss. I have to do an effort report for work and she did the work for me today. Sometimes she does it but I usually do the work.

Rant: My Ecig broke but not totally. I had dropped it in our couch but the battery still works. Will probably have to buy a piece or more of it...

So I complained about my internet, and some of you chimed in to point out yours is worse... but damn... I guess I was spoiled? And not really, but because my previous place didn't have THAT good internet. And really, I can tolerate the crappier internet. But the fact that I'm paying nearly double what I used to pay for something far worse really irks me. The advertised $50/month bill gets hiked up to just shy of $80/month due to... 'taxes'? Wtf?

I don't think there's a person alive more spoiled than my kids I have cut them off of the internet and you'd think I was depriving them of oxygen. We have used 300GB this month and now they're about to start hiking up the bill from the $102-120 (?) it normally is.
I turned my Steam to Offline mode so it wouldn't update anything. The kicker is that our billing cycle ends on the 15. We used all of that in less than a month

Rave: I cut my hair. Rant: It looks silly (but I don't care) I hung my head upside down and chopped off a good 6 inches (according to my sons estimate). It now looks layered and choppy. I still keep it under a bandanna most of the time so *meh* it really doesn't make any difference. Except my scalp no longer hurts.

Rant: I have to take my son to counseling this evening. I REALLY hope he gets switched to once a month sessions at the start of the year!!!

Rave: I'm loving Fallout. Nothing exists except for that game other than my iPad games when I'm laying down to sleep. My PC lags a tiny bit sometimes and the game glitches here and there (it crashed me out of the game twice- other times the PipBoy wont load until I exit to the menu and back), but otherwise it's an amazing game. Almost all items now serve a purpose which makes scaving much more fun.

Rant: I'm completely broke after counseling tomorrow. I guilted myself into buying more e-juice than I actually needed (the owner set it aside specifically for me because she wasn't in the store that day).
Rave: I'm good on juice now AND my coils are still kicking! i had two packs and they're lasting a month. I usually go through a pack every 1 - 1/2 weeks.

Time to go back to bed.

Oh yeah. Paula brought a cat home the other day. I looked at him and said: "I KNOW this cat! You need to take it back because he's a neighborhood cat whose especially fond of an autistic boy." Sure enough, they picked him up right beside the place I had Thanksgiving. I went outside to load the car with food and the cat greeted me. He's very fat and extremely affectionate. I mentioned him to our host (he had flat worms near his butt) and she told me his story.
Turns out, Paula's client lives right around the corner and the cat kept trying to get into the clients house she thought he was a stray and that he'd be better off here. Once I told her about the autistic boy, she reluctantly took him back.
WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE ANIMALS ANYHOW!

Hope everyone is well.

Rant-ish: Every morning for the last week, I wake up, sit at my desk, toke on my e-cig and get hit by powerful waves of light-headedness. So, I turn to my handy-dandy blood pressure machine. My blood pressure has been running low: 90/55. My machine is never happy with that reading so it resets itself to take my pressure 1-2 more times (each time the cuff fills with more and more air making the ordeal less than comfortable )
My pulse has been staying around 88. I was always told that a resting pulse of 80 and above was too high.
I googles it today. I've been lied to my whole life A normal resting rate is anywhere between 60-100

So... I am in perfect health
I imagine the low pressure is because of slight dehydration after sleeping. I'll have to take it later in the day and see how it climbs (or not).

Rant: I've been sleeping WAYYYY too friggin much lately. I blame it on the throttling of our internet. I've also not been getting any needlepoint done because of it. When I can't watch things, I at least listen to YouTube or podcasts. Nope. Nothing like that until the 16th. I went to bed at aroun 9:30 last night and didn't get out of bed until 2:30PM

Rave: Just got back from two days at the beach wit some mates, had a great time.
Rant: I saw at a shop a beautiful green little journal handmade by Tibetan refugees, absolutely perfect for a dream journal, but I forgot my wallet so couldn't buy it .

I am moving to college next month. Hopefully, I don't screwed myself up just like in elementary and high schools. I've to keep reminding myself to make good judgement and think of the consequences from my actions or else I'll embarrass myself just like I used to. Having social anxiety and bad social skills suck. Not sure what life at the college is like but I am here hoping it doesn't sucks.

all around. Sorry you missed out on that journal, but it's great you had fun
Much success to you, HelloBro. just try not to over-think socializing. If in doubt, keep quiet and listen more And pick up cues from others. I have, what I call, delayed hearing. Someone can say something and I'll "hear" them, but I dont always comprehend right away. When people laugh, I laugh. When they look somber and serious, I mimic the same. Sometimes I get in trouble though. Sometimes I'll be the butt of a joke and will laugh and 2 minutes later I'll be like "HEY!"

My rant is a silly one. When I took my son to counseling, he stopped off for pepperoni rolls on the way home. I told him I still can't believe the rest of the world hasn't realized how wonderful they are. He told me he heard they're actually against the law to sell. What the heck? So I finally googled it today and sure enough, there's legislation against shelving certain meat products. But it's pepperoni. It's not the same as if it was a chicken leg or hunk of roast.

Other than that, life is quiet. Next week and the week after will be hectic though. This week I have to take Miley to a Dr's appointment the next town over then take Ray to counseling an hour earlier than normal so he can have his once-a-year one-on-one with his therapist. Week after next, I have to take him on Tuesday for his polygraph then turn around and go right back on Wednesday for his normal counseling. Gah!
PLUS, hubby's son is going to be in town for a week or so and we'll go out to eat and hang out with him and the grand-"midget" (what hubby calls all children) at some point, but everything's just up in the air right now.

11 more days until I can watch shows and update my games. Watch 7 Days to Die finally be updated Alpha 13 (?) has been anticipated for months now and it's rumored to be released this weekend
Fallout will keep me occupied in the meantime... I'm just more productive with 7D2D because of those 15 real-time- minutes of night that I use for needlepoint or chores.

Hope everyone is well. Sweet dreams, DV.

Ugh, I've been experiencing a lack of employment lately that is rather stressful only been getting about 12 hours a week and EI benefits so been frantically searching for work in the meantime.. For the past month though the government has been dicking me around so I've missed a month of EI cheques and it's been financially crippling!!! I'm a month behind on my bills now and it's really stressful, I'm very lucky my rent is so below market value and I can be late with it.. Man being an adult sucks.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Another forum I frequent has a thread set aside for people who need to vent or go on long-winded rants about whatever it is that's on their mind;it's fairly interesting to read so I thought I may as well start a similar thread here.

Post whatever it is that you need to get off your chest, be it a non-nonsensical rant about your jackass of a coworker or an essay on how amazing your boyfriend/girlfriend is. It can be as simple as "I hate owls" or a wall-of-text devoted to that funky smelling kid in your class. It doesn't have to be negative either, just post what ever it is that's on your mind.
-----
People should leave you the fuck alone when you've (politely) made it abundantly clear you'd rather be by yourself for a bit.

Can we put in dreams that are bothering us?

Originally Posted by Michael0703

Can we put in dreams that are bothering us?

Yeah, man!

Speaking of bothersome dreams: I had a dream where I interacted with a girl who’s Catholic in real life. She seems pretty cool, attractive in the physical sense, and seems to do a myriad of things that I like doing as well; almost too perfect. The dream in particular made me question her whole motive in talking to me altogether in real life, and the symbolic representations with waterfalls, caves, and such just makes it seem like she’s more interested in finding what pushes my buttons through those clever little queries she has that she associates with video games, shows, etc.; typical day-to-day stuff.

I remember one of my high school crushes was Catholic, and I never really contemplated on her family’s degree of aligning to their faith vs. being flexible to a once Christian existentialist. I used to have really intense, virtual experiential realities with her when I never wanted to in the first place. It got to the point where it was so heartwarming, but I felt it was misaligned because I structured the crush as some kind of taboo. Mostly in the sense that I never want to cram any kind of dogma down their throats, as their (and I mean this in a general “they”) yearning for quotidian activities for the future would be way more fulfilling and filled with contingencies.

I always respect those that can make their peace with day-to-day stuff, but there’s always that impasse with their close-knit familial roots that poses a problem, especially in circumstances where they go by impressions alone, secretly tell the daughter about how it doesn’t resonate to common practice, and her disposition suddenly making a complete 180. It seems when I interact with some women that are into things guys would like, or just being human, they probably have a strong close-knit relationship with their family because it gave them a sense of liberation without being paranoid of stepping off the acceptable boundaries.

It’s pretty tough to absolve a potentially decent dating experience, have my mind subsequently dish out virtual experiential realities of predisposed affection for certain women, and having to detox my conscience again only to experience another cycle again. Trekked through the desert of nihilism long before and found existentialism, but it’s pissing me off sometimes. I used to make sardonic quips with the existentialism stuff, and finding out potential Christian existentialists (seems like a New-Agey word to use for those that dived into the realm of their nightly cognition with dreaming to be more bewildered of their place in the world, for some reason), and capitalizing on their potential tendency to bleed into agnosticism, but now, it’s starting to hurt.

Hurt in the sense that I acknowledge the impasses, try to do something about it, and yet still acknowledge more impasses that comes with religion; compatibility, that is, not dogma. My dreams have always been calling out to me, even when I wanted to disregard it as a highly passionate amalgam of predisposed yearning and conflicts, those virtual experiential realities that seem to synch all I want in a nice package makes me wonder why I’m not feeling a sense of urgency to integrate it in my life. It’s doable, but there’s still too much sand in my pocket, I guess.

Wah.

heh, last night I dreamed I was driving or walking down an interstate when something caught my eye. It was a kangaroo and he was very pissed at the guard rail and kept hitting it with his legs. Then it hopped onto a bicycle and rode off down the hill. I was in a panic, thinking he belonged to someone, but where the heck am I. I kept looking around for road signs so I could call it in... then I saw 2-4 bodies floating in some water and was even more panicked.
I finally found a hospital but when I told them about the kangaroo, they din't believe me What the heck.

I read about a bunch of Australian beer being recalled because of glass chips in the bottle and then read someone's comment about Aussie's just eating the glass or Crocodile Dundee was a liar... so perhaps that spawned the kangaroo dream. Being lost is stereotypical real-life stress symbolism. so weird the way the subconscious mind puts the pieces together though.

Moose Hope you find work soon.
everyone else.

Nothing going on here today (so far). I've been cleaning my room in spurts. Got all of my clothes hung up and some trash thrown out. Now i'm taking a break

we put up the christmas tree
... but my back is killing me. My muscles are rock hard from waist to thighs and the pain shoots up to my head. *snack on painkillers*
I'm not relly snacking on pain killers, just wishing I could.

@Milly Well at least you know you've done a good job. I wanna see!

My son is taking ages to beat me in games even when I give him a massive lead!!! My lucidity is destroyed by it!!! Now I know why adults quit long games on kids!!!

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

Yeah, man!

Speaking of bothersome dreams: I had a dream where I interacted with a girl who’s Catholic in real life. She seems pretty cool, attractive in the physical sense, and seems to do a myriad of things that I like doing as well; almost too perfect. The dream in particular made me question her whole motive in talking to me altogether in real life, and the symbolic representations with waterfalls, caves, and such just makes it seem like she’s more interested in finding what pushes my buttons through those clever little queries she has that she associates with video games, shows, etc.; typical day-to-day stuff.

I remember one of my high school crushes was Catholic, and I never really contemplated on her family’s degree of aligning to their faith vs. being flexible to a once Christian existentialist. I used to have really intense, virtual experiential realities with her when I never wanted to in the first place. It got to the point where it was so heartwarming, but I felt it was misaligned because I structured the crush as some kind of taboo. Mostly in the sense that I never want to cram any kind of dogma down their throats, as their (and I mean this in a general “they”) yearning for quotidian activities for the future would be way more fulfilling and filled with contingencies.

I always respect those that can make their peace with day-to-day stuff, but there’s always that impasse with their close-knit familial roots that poses a problem, especially in circumstances where they go by impressions alone, secretly tell the daughter about how it doesn’t resonate to common practice, and her disposition suddenly making a complete 180. It seems when I interact with some women that are into things guys would like, or just being human, they probably have a strong close-knit relationship with their family because it gave them a sense of liberation without being paranoid of stepping off the acceptable boundaries.

It’s pretty tough to absolve a potentially decent dating experience, have my mind subsequently dish out virtual experiential realities of predisposed affection for certain women, and having to detox my conscience again only to experience another cycle again. Trekked through the desert of nihilism long before and found existentialism, but it’s pissing me off sometimes. I used to make sardonic quips with the existentialism stuff, and finding out potential Christian existentialists (seems like a New-Agey word to use for those that dived into the realm of their nightly cognition with dreaming to be more bewildered of their place in the world, for some reason), and capitalizing on their potential tendency to bleed into agnosticism, but now, it’s starting to hurt.

Hurt in the sense that I acknowledge the impasses, try to do something about it, and yet still acknowledge more impasses that comes with religion; compatibility, that is, not dogma. My dreams have always been calling out to me, even when I wanted to disregard it as a highly passionate amalgam of predisposed yearning and conflicts, those virtual experiential realities that seem to synch all I want in a nice package makes me wonder why I’m not feeling a sense of urgency to integrate it in my life. It’s doable, but there’s still too much sand in my pocket, I guess.

Wah.

Thanks man.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Much success to you, HelloBro. just try not to over-think socializing. If in doubt, keep quiet and listen more And pick up cues from others. I have, what I call, delayed hearing. Someone can say something and I'll "hear" them, but I dont always comprehend right away. When people laugh, I laugh. When they look somber and serious, I mimic the same. Sometimes I get in trouble though. Sometimes I'll be the butt of a joke and will laugh and 2 minutes later I'll be like "HEY!"

Zhaylin. Thanks for your concern and advice. You're too sweet and caring. People are lucky to know you.