Thread: 365 days w/o Jerking Off: A self control challenge

Originally Posted by MasterMind

When it comes to the no fap I just can't understand why you are continuing to argue. THIS IS A THREAD for people who WANT to do it.

Because it is an open forum, and as long as I am not breaking the rules, I can say what I want on a particular topic. Just because you have the right to an opinion, and you state it publicly, doesn't protect you from scrutiny.

I feel your motivation is fine but horribly misguided. On a whim, I stopped looking at porn this week. Just because. It wasn't even a thought to do it, and I didn't miss it, and I didn't masturbate or have sex those days either.

The reason it was all so easy is because I don't have any compulsive or addictive tendencies. And that is what needs to be addressed; not the act itself. I read every topic I can and only post when I have something to add to the conversation. This thread, whether intended or not, encompasses all of the noFap mentality, so it is up for discussion.

Doing it for the challenge is fine. Weird to me, but whatever. But the pushing of fake science to prove why everyone should do it (whether intentional or not isn't the point; it's the fact of using junk science to prove the detriments of something as a reason why you do something is a form of persuasion) and the obvious compulsive tendencies makes me not hold my tongue.

I was only trying to motivate people sorry if you felt like I was trying to persuade you..

I just want to apologize to you Tiresias I got a little hostile, probably a result of sexual frustration.

You did provide quite a bit of resistance too torwards my beliefs though and I do appreciate that. xD

My idea of developing my will power and mental strength might not resonate with yours, it might even seem stupid to some people.

I don't care and here is my rational:

I aim high.

Instead of wanting a girlfriend, I want to be good with girls in general.

Instead of reading one book a week, I practise speed reading and try to read one book a day.

Instead of meditating once a day, I meditate all night.

Instead of taking warm comfy showers, I take cold showers.

Instead of following, I lead.

Instead of looking at porn and fap, I avoid it COMPLETELY

And I am not alone with this mindset: http://www.scribd.com/doc/201840499/...s-Nofap#scribd

So you see it's just another representation of my grinding, non-comfort seeking action.

But you still shed some light on something I should keep in mind. I should stop taking pride in my no fap and write about my progress every day, even though it was in a purpose of motivating others (and my self) it's kind of counter productive. Like saying: Don't think about a pink elephant!

It should just happen by not even thinking about it.

So I will embrace the longterm process, which I have actually done to my benefit in most other areas of my life, so I will see you on a later day!

Take care all.

What if you don't have any real life sexual partners? Would Lucid Dreaming be harming the no fap process?

I know this YBOP (Your Brain On Porn) thing is real as I have personally experienced erectile dysfunction at 23 years old with several different women thanks to my addiction to porn. Once I quit the porn and the jerking off habit I was back to normal functioning levels and was able to do what I wanted. Eventually I went through a long dry spell and succumbed to the old porn/masturbation habits and here I am today. I don't want to hear lucid dream sex is unstable (I don't want that limiting belief imprinted in my mind because then otherwise it will make itself out to be true) but do want to know if rewiring can still be done while using LDing as a replacement. I do too much studying and have no time for a girlfriend. Being horny all the time doesn't help either and serves as an extremely uncontrollable distraction. I tend not to think right and find myself super unfocused, highly and increasingly aggressive and energized after several days of no porn/no fap. This is in contrast to being more chilled out and focused within the more comfortable (but ultimately destructive) porn habit.

Originally Posted by Tsunami1

What if you don't have any real life sexual partners? Would Lucid Dreaming be harming the no fap process?

IMHO, Only if it's used to think of sex. If you're thinking of it, that's not far from doing it. All my opinion.

As for me, I still haven't done any in the waking world. Asleep, though - I do recall dreaming of it and waking up due to it since I started.

We're now 3 weeks in. We still have a ridiculously long way ahead of us. Stay strong wo/men.

Day 12: Thoughts on Sexuality and Lucid Dreaming.

Some strange thing that I have noticed as a strange coincidence, is the fact that whenever I restrain from masturbation but then relapse perhaps a week later, I always see a big change in lucidity rate and awareness/ recall in my dreams. And to make it clear, it's for the better! I can think of many times where I started my no fap journey, relapsed and that particular night I had a lucid dream. So in other words do not look in my Dream Journal, because it is basically a Fap Journal!

Now on the other hand I am still on track, but during the last two nights something strange happened.

I am not looking at arousing material but I heard moaning from my neighbours house (thin walls) so I awkwardly had to listen to that but at some point I got aroused.
I thought to myself what an irony this was, almost like the universe tested me. Because 12 days is my previous PB (that I have actively observed).

So I were in my bed and heard the entire act... Because it was practically imposible to fall asleep. But I suffered my pleasure out and then fell aslep. And that night I had incredibly vivid dreams and dream recall without intention or going through the process of recalling.

Last night I had trouble falling asleep and my brain thought "Well a little fantasy can't hurt" and fell asleep aroused again, and this night I had EXTREMELY vivid dreams and I even woke up during the night (Went to bed 22:00, woke up 02:38) It was actually very unpleasant because I dreamt that I was in the Walking Dead and I got a knife through my calf.

Anyway today I stated to think about this, because I like to think too much. And my mind reminded me of times where lucidity and awareness also happened after arousal, after being teased at the club by multiple girls but when I went home alone, after having sex with a girl and not well.. finished...

ALL THOSE TIMES I had vivid dreams and higher levels of awareness.

So as the little hobby-scientist that I am, I will test this fact. Making the no fap challenge harder than it already is but perhaps providing a lucidity application for it.

So what I will do is.

1. Listen to some mildy arousing ASMR (Or my neighbours...) on youtube as a relaxation and arousal method.
(I know it is probably not your cup of tea, but on Day 12 on fap it doesn't take much for me to get excited..)
2. Imagine that my arousal is my awareness and if I "release it" I will lose it, in other words: Do not give in!
Feel it circle inside of you until it "sinks in" or more simply put, you feel bored.
3. Fall asleep.
4. See what happens.

I have during my days so far found ways to transmute my sexual energy into productivity, creativity and demanding physical activity.
Let's see if it's also possible to also use it for lucidity! (Of course it's all the same energy but where I direct it is the difference).

Remember, it will be hard, the hard is what makes it great! Lots of pun intended...

F*CK.... Now that was a dangerous path to take.

The post above was just an excuse to look at arousing stuff and now I relapsed. I do not feel as tired down and weird as before the 12 days, but I do feel a shift in my ability to stay present and focused now during the refractory period.

I do feel confident to start over again though, the no fap emergency button's Motivation feature is really encouraging.

http://emergency.nofap.com/

So back in the game, and this time arousing material is a BIG NO.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DU8gsZPHtA

To MasterMind: "Just one little drink and I'll be fine..." Said many an alcoholic, Until they then did take just one and that drink was a seed that did grow into more again. The point being is to not sow any seeds of that sort during this venture, in order to fulfill it. A tiny seed can grow a lot, when planted; And what then? More seeds come. I even got a raspberry bush under a tree near me and the bush wasn't there five years ago.

More on seeds; I consider a thought to be a seed. I can see a seed, but can I see how many orchards are in it? Not at the present time. I can imagine many will grow but I do not know all of the details. And I planted the thought of "Search for driving education films" for example, and have found numerous ones that are public-domain and watched them. Some things I had no idea of until I watched the videos, which have been beneficial.

As for me, I haven't gone through with any J.O. since this started. I'm still going without it on the conscious front and I haven't been looking at NSFW stuff at all for well over a month (more than that but the amount of time doesn't matter IMHO) but the thought of J.O. came about so I need to dismiss it every time and tell my subconscious mind "No, That's not me." and I like the idea of doing such. I believe that I just have to consider old habits to not be part of me anymore even if it's something I literally just did, so if such habits ever show up I think "No, That's not me." and not relapse. I will say I'm feeling happier without J.O.; I have my reasons.

So, in other news I got sick about five days ago out of neglect and I'm getting over it. I thought I'd just drink protein drinks (mostly) all day and it didn't work for me, because when I went to get them at Walmart I then caught an illness. Oh well. That's me, it may not happen to others.

Nothing going J.O. wise here. Is there another phrase for it? is "Celibacy" appropriate or am I thinking of something else?

It's been one month after the challenge started and I'm still standing strong. But earlier this morning, I experienced a mildly bizarre stream of events and I thought it'd be nice to share it with you guys.

Spoiler for tldr: had a wet dream:

I woke up 5 in the morning because of my phone alarm. Lying on my bed, I shut it off and returned to sleep. This is where the whole thing starts. I dreamed of wandering in an industrial type neighborhood, a gloomy sight it was. It was pouring hard, so I sought shelter. Upon entering a building, it seemed like the whole setting changed and reset (along with my memory). Inside what's supposed to be a modern day, vertical building is some sort of Victorian-era style mansion, complete with all the antique wall paintings, fancy chandeliers and the like. It can be concluded by just looking outside the window, that it was night, for not a thing could be seen. All I have was a lantern, and mysteriously, some companions. I don't know why I wasn't troubled by the fact that some strangers were accompanying me. It seemed like I knew them for a considerable amount of time and they were with me in the first place. We wondered in the dark hall ways of the mansion, with only lanterns to guide our way. We entered a dining room and in the center, a small figure sat. With a sword that just came out of nowhere, I quickly attacked the small creature, only to be surprised by its identity. Small, green, and wrinkly, why yes, it was Yoda. Stunned, I quickly bowed down before his glory. With the master on our side, we continued to venture. We ended up in a large room, possibly one dedicated for all the dancing during the luxurious parties held back then. Coming from a far door adjacent to ours, a figure entered. One of my companions charged towards the mysterious figure, only to be killed with one slash. Fear permeated throughout the room, enough to break our will. We retreated and entered a small bedroom. With the doors locked, we huddled in one corner. Remember, the room was pitch black and we only have our measly lanterns. One can only imagine the fear we experienced. And the fact that Yoda was missing didn't help either. A sudden knock was heard, and we knew, it was the end. The door opened, but instead of the killer, it was my cousin. Behind him was the blinding light of the morning sun. Outside was the neighborhood where I spawned. I can only sigh in relief as I stepped outside knowing that I am away from that place. The dream then transitioned to a desert. Having no memory of the previous events, I continued walking along the dunes towards a town when suddenly a gigantic Sand Barioth emerged from the sands. Yes, it's Monster Hunter! The battle theme started and hundreds of hunters wielding different weapons and armors suddenly came out of nowhere. I was immediately launched literally a mile a way with just the flick of its tail. Alas, the beast was already slain the moment I was able to reach it after that mile walk. Upon inspection of its lifeless body, I was able to find an entrance. "Hmmm monsters shouldn't have doors on it" I thought to myself.

This is the most relevant part. Inside was a hallway similar to that found in homes. I walked along and stood in front of a door found at the left side. On it was metal plate. Written on said plate was "Prostitution". Curious, I opened the door and stepped inside. It was a square bedroom with large windows allowing the sun's light to come in. Sitting on the floor beside the door was a beautiful woman with only a blanket covering her chest and below. She had blank stare, she didn't talk nor move. She was simply there, sitting and staring straight as if I wasn't there. Remembering what's written on the door, one can only imagine what she went through. I cannot emphasize this enough, it was an inspiring yet depressing sight. The room's basic design, the ambient lighting by the sun and the expression emanated by the woman, as some form of art, it was stunning. I was both surprised and saddened by what I saw. Continuing along the hallway, I saw another door at the same side. Written on the door was "Masturbation/Pleasure". As with the first one, I stepped inside and again, saw an an inspiring yet depressing sight. It was basically a copy of the first room. The only difference was the woman's expression and action. This time around, the blanket's only covering her private parts. Her chest's now bare. Apparently, she was pleasuring herself. One hand's caressing her breast and the other below the blanket. Although the whole thing's sexual, I couldn't help but appreciate the whole thing's beauty. I stepped outside and saw another door. Sadly, I forgot what's written on it. Its inside was the same as the other two. But this time around, the woman's now naked. Everything about her was perfect. The brilliant glow of the sun on her skin was a sight to behold. My primal instincts awoken and threw her unto the bed. The touch of her skin unto mine and the level of detail of her body was disturbingly realistic. Now that I think about it, it is the most (if not one of the) realistic dream I've ever had. I inserted myself in and with that, everything disappeared.

In just one thrust, I woke up. Lying on my bed, I felt something in my privates. I slowly shifted my position and confirmed that I just had a wet dream. "You can't be serious" I thought to myself. I checked my phone and it said 5:30. Apparently, all of that happened in the span of 30 minutes.

Still all OK in the waking world here. But in dreams? Last night there was one, and then at one point when I was dreaming I seemed to think it would be a great idea to J.O. and I woke up. What's going on?

On one other note, 1 month out of 12 is done and we're a few days off from 36 ½ days (10%) through.

Day 42 and I'm now out of the game, same as my 2012 record. Boredom is a no no when taking this challenge. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Good luck to the remaining challengers and see you in next year's 366 days challenge.

42 days is really good anway. So you should be proud.

And just learn from this and find ways to solve your boredom. Get active! That is the reason the no fap changes lives, not the no fap in itself.

Well it is a mix of both, but you get my point.

3 weeks (21 days) completed. I only meant to do 2 weeks but decided to go an extra week. Curiosity got the best of me so i tried it. I didn't find it too difficult as my mind was more focused on martial arts and training during those weeks. Also being a member of an adult forum i was able to look at photos of naked women without feeling "sexually excited." Just appreciating the natural beauty of a human body. I did feel an increase in energy the last week. Not sure if this had anything to do with it. I may retry this again after the holidays.

Recently did this for a week, and I noticed that I got aroused much easier by other women. Real women. Some older woman, probably in her early 40's but very well taken care of, brushed my leg while commuting and she apologized while smiling. I smiled back and said no problem. For some reason that really turned me on... but not necessarily as in 'I want to fuck her'. Then again, older women can give you this strange sensation that younger women (early 20's) just can't. I feel much more sensitive to these kind of things and I can really enjoy that.

For me there is that there is this awesome increase in energy... but after a while it's almost nothing but sexual energy lol. If I get in a situation with a female it becomes overpowering and I can't concentrate. I had to stop doing 1 week breaks in between because when I'd go in for my speech therapy appointments I'd just think about boning my therapist 3 or 4 times and totally lose focus. (22 years old mixed Asian OMG had me weak at the knees... but when I jerked it beforehand or the night before no problem and very few strayed thoughts).

Well it's been a whole year.
That didn't work out, it lasted until mid-may 2015 so it was 128-138 days into the year... Which I didn't realize went on for so long. Wow.

... Starting again, this time it starts out at Jan 2nd 2016 and I'm also thinking "OK, I be asexual now. Primarily."
... Primarily being 100% of the time since I'm not married at this date.

Maybe you'll laugh but I'm praying on this one, that I don't even need to fight it because it's not a part of my life.

Welp I've been doing this since 1st Jan, almost a week lol woo hoo . But seriously reading MasterMind's stuff has made me want to try this for as long as I can so I can reap some of the rewards.

Originally Posted by BlairBros

Welp I've been doing this since 1st Jan, almost a week lol woo hoo . But seriously reading MasterMind's stuff has made me want to try this for as long as I can so I can reap some of the rewards.

Oh stop it you

Does anybody else notice an increase in dream activity when abstain? Cus I sure do. It's been 5 days and my dreams are very vivid compared to a 2 weeks of masterbating every day including a lucid.

Originally Posted by robertcox88

Does anybody else notice an increase in dream activity when abstain? Cus I sure do. It's been 5 days and my dreams are very vivid compared to a 2 weeks of masterbating every day including a lucid.

Based on how much I recalled this night. Easy answer, YES!

just out of curiosity: no fap no porn but sex is allowed?

dont you get wet dreams after around a month with no fap and no sex?

Not sure if someone has mentioned this already but according to many esoteric views and spiritual philosophies such as Chinese Taoist Alchemy, Tantra and Gnostism (I think) abstaining from spilling one’s seed is very advantageous in a certain sense. There is a strong belief that one loses a type of spiritual energy through ejaculating frequently, and while men have this in high doses when they are young they have less and less as they age, which is why it is important to preserve it to remain healthy, live longer, and probably to do practices such as lucid dreaming.

However, the idea is not simply to abstain from stimulating this energy, but rather to transform it. This is why there is a rich tradition in these spiritual philosophies of how to have sex without ejaculating. These schools of thought teach one to build the energy and then transform it so that it is absorbed and circulated around the body rather than lost outside the body.

If the energy is building (just from getting aroused or denying oneself/resisting) it is said it can actually cause a lot of damage and corruption. Plus there are many studies which link it to increased rates of prostate cancer.

One thing I have not been able to find a clear answer is whether females also loose energy from orgasms or whether they have an endless amount of energy as some schools of thought claim in contrast to the male energy.

anyways whether you think it plausible or not I still think it's worth looking into and doing more research on we are energetic beings and if you look closely there are lots of experiments that you can test for yourself to prove this.