Thread: Online dating

Originally Posted by Laurelindo

I did get asked out on Facebook by a girl once though, but she had actually seen me in real life several times before that.

[Cringes] Ugh, that would freaking scare me!

Anyhow, Head Squeeze just posted this video. I found it pretty hilarious. Just thought some of you guys might like it. [Walks away with a smirk]

Originally Posted by Aristaeus

[Cringes] Ugh, that would freaking scare me!

Anyhow, Head Squeeze just posted this video. I found it pretty hilarious. Just thought some of you guys might like it. [Walks away with a smirk]

Man.....they never mentioned how the guy set up his profile. Also I got into another stalemate. I guess I'll try posting some overly stupid pics of me.

I've been pushing myself at online dating lately, doing the POF and OKCUPID thing, but I'm taking a break after yielding no results. The real world is just such a better playground to get to meet and know new people. A lot of the same faces online that you can't get away from. Get this, this one chick blocked me after I sent apparently the wrong kind of message, or just didn't look like something she wanted, but I still have to see her face in search results, because I can't figure out how to block her back. Anyone know how to do this?

My approach to online dating is just a lot of volume. I message like 50-70 girls a week and maybe 5-10 per week respond, maybe 2-3 out of those evolve into more branching convos and then maybe one or two of those meet me. Then out of those I meet I creep out about half and get intimate with the other half.

That is, when I'm active I do that. Right now I'm not doing anything cause I am more focused on other facets of my life, but when I want to meet girls I get into that volume approach again. It takes few minutes a day and its reasonably simple way to find girls who are somewhat interested in you.

Of course, I agree with above poster that it's probably just simpler to go out and meet girls there.

@rick. Yeah man I wish it would just remove girls you've already tried to contact.

@jak. That's a lot of work bro...I guess if I was typing on a computer it wouldn't be as rough.

I've messaged about 45 people, and I've gotten two girls to actually talk to me. I also read something about the odds are against black people for online dating sites. Numbers don't lie, so I think I might delete my profile.

[QUOTE=AURON;2089621]@rick. Yeah man I wish it would just remove girls you've already tried to contact.

@jak. That's a lot of work bro...I guess if I was typing on a computer it wouldn't be as rough. /QUOTE]

Its actually very quick.

1. Open 10 good looking girls to new tabs (takes about a minute)
2. Copypaste same message to all of them (another minute)
3. Bide your time with evil smile.

You dont even need to copy paste the message yourself. Ive heard of guys who use macros to do that. For me Ive found that 10 girls a day is plenty so Ive not bothered with macros.

[QUOTE=Jakro;2089657]

Originally Posted by AURON

@rick. Yeah man I wish it would just remove girls you've already tried to contact.

@jak. That's a lot of work bro...I guess if I was typing on a computer it wouldn't be as rough. /QUOTE]

Its actually very quick.

1. Open 10 good looking girls to new tabs (takes about a minute)
2. Copypaste same message to all of them (another minute)
3. Bide your time with evil smile.

You dont even need to copy paste the message yourself. Ive heard of guys who use macros to do that. For me Ive found that 10 girls a day is plenty so Ive not bothered with macros.

Fuck. I thought sending copy/pastes would be banable. 81 girls in, I've been reduced to saying "hi". My top prospect (girl who I actually talked to) deleted her pics. It's looking grim for the home team.

Final update: copy pasted about 10 or 20 more women, got plenty of views and no replies. I've reached the magic 100 and only got two replies. Fuck people who don't reply to messages, fuck people who have race preferences, and fuck that site. The last time I went out I didn't find anyone, but at least I had a conversation with a girl. This site makes me feel pathetic. Obviously I'm not, but I was on the verge of contemplating a mail-order bride at some point.

Originally Posted by AURON

Final update: copy pasted about 10 or 20 more women, got plenty of views and no replies. I've reached the magic 100 and only got two replies. Fuck people who don't reply to messages, fuck people who have race preferences, and fuck that site. The last time I went out I didn't find anyone, but at least I had a conversation with a girl. This site makes me feel pathetic. Obviously I'm not, but I was on the verge of contemplating a mail-order bride at some point.

You need to come up with something a bit better than "Hi." Not saying that race is not an issue (it might be in online dating), but its probably not as a big as you think. Also how are the pics on your profile? If you are getting visits some girls might still be considering replying so maybe there's an issue there.

That said, online you can't expect very high response rates online ever. Like I said, I usually have maybe 1-3 girls replying out of 10 messaged. I temporarily have had a bit higher with some very offensive openers but I couldn't go anywhere from those.

Experiment with something witty, funny and curiosity invoking, and remember that the only point of the first message is to get a first reply.

You need to understand that these girls get messaged like crazy. I went out with this very average looking Indonesian girl (though she was much cuter irl than in pics) and she showed me her OKCupid and it was FLOODED. I just wondered how I even pulled through all that mass to meet her. "Hi" just doesn't cut through it enough to get a response unless you find the odd girl who is into exactly the kind of guys your profile presents you to be. The prettier the girl as well, the more she is getting spammed.

Also if the place you are using has filter for new users (OKC has) you might want to try it. Select "joined last week" and click out few pretty girls there and message them. New girls that aren't yet jaded by dozens of messages every day are MUCH more likely to reply to you.

Finally dude... if you are feeling pathetic after sending out a few messages you're taking it waaay too seriously. My messages to the girls is mostly joking. If some of them stops answering I just laugh. It's them who are pathetic and missed out.

Being a young gay guy in a small town where there's barely anyone out... All of my relationships have begun online and long distance (and stayed that way until their ends unfortunately) as a matter of fact two of them were from this very site!

Originally Posted by Jakro

You need to come up with something a bit better than "Hi." Not saying that race is not an issue (it might be in online dating), but its probably not as a big as you think. Also how are the pics on your profile? If you are getting visits some girls might still be considering replying so maybe there's an issue there.

That said, online you can't expect very high response rates online ever. Like I said, I usually have maybe 1-3 girls replying out of 10 messaged. I temporarily have had a bit higher with some very offensive openers but I couldn't go anywhere from those.

Experiment with something witty, funny and curiosity invoking, and remember that the only point of the first message is to get a first reply.

You need to understand that these girls get messaged like crazy. I went out with this very average looking Indonesian girl (though she was much cuter irl than in pics) and she showed me her OKCupid and it was FLOODED. I just wondered how I even pulled through all that mass to meet her. "Hi" just doesn't cut through it enough to get a response unless you find the odd girl who is into exactly the kind of guys your profile presents you to be. The prettier the girl as well, the more she is getting spammed.

Also if the place you are using has filter for new users (OKC has) you might want to try it. Select "joined last week" and click out few pretty girls there and message them. New girls that aren't yet jaded by dozens of messages every day are MUCH more likely to reply to you.

Finally dude... if you are feeling pathetic after sending out a few messages you're taking it waaay too seriously. My messages to the girls is mostly joking. If some of them stops answering I just laugh. It's them who are pathetic and missed out.

I probabaly sent out 10-20 hi messages. The rest of the 80-90 were well thought out things. And yeah you're right. I got really pissed off about it and decided I'd be better off not even trying. I know girls girls way mod messages...that's how game is to be played. As for okcupid, that's where I got the race stats.
You can see them for yourself here. How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get « OkTrends

Wow, it sounds tough for males on dating websites. That's unfortunate.
I use to have a profile on some dating website, but I never initiated contact with anybody. I had around 30-60 males send me a kiss/message me daily. I replied to all messages that I received (even to people I didn't find interesting judging from their profile. But I felt bad if I didn't reply). When somebody was too serious with the first message, I get kind of put off.
I agree with what Jakro stated - "Experiment with something witty, funny and curiosity invoking, and remember that the only point of the first message is to get a first reply."

Yeah, you guys are probabaly right. I'm sure I'll try again when my classes start up.

I did the on-line dating thing. I learned alot. Here are a few things.
-An experiment was conducted in L.A. They posted a male profile with a Chip and Dale type guy for the picture. In one week he had not been contacted at all. They posted a female profile with a very average picture; she was contacted a couple hundred times in the first week. they posted a female profile with a model photo; she was contacted over 1000 times in the first week.-
What you should take out of this is that not hearing back from a woman is to be expected. They can not reply to dozens of men a day. Do not get hurt feelings.
-The title of your profile is likely all they will read, so make it special. A title like "Hi There Ladies" will never catch their eye.
-If you get a date, it turns out you should not take them somewhere nice. What? yep, I made thatmistake so many times, before I learned better. A formal nice resteraunt causes the date to be sterile and intimidating. Simply meeting at a coffee house or a bowling alley could work much better.
-Do not list that you only want to date attractive or fit women. You do not need to go out with an obese woman, but do not say you will not date them, it looks shallow (so you are? do not show it!)

I agree that it is all about volume. I had many frustrating weeks doing exactly what Auron is talking about, and feeling the same way. Here is what finally worked wonders for me. I selected a few limiting factors. I did not want a smoker, I wanted an average build or better, and a certain age range. Most dating sites have a flirt or wink feature. It just tells them you are interested. I then sent a wink to every profile that came up. Seriously, almost 300 of them! It only took about 2 hours. I then went away from the site for a week or so. When I looked back about 20ish had winked back, and over the next couple weeks a few more winked back. I then read the profiles only of the girls who had 'winked' back. I then was able to get about 10 dates out of the 30-40 who eventually responded with a wink.

The last woman I went on a date with was amazing! We have been together for 7 years now, and got married 3 years ago.

So my friend just got out of a relationship, and I recommended plenty of fish to him. He's a good looking guy and I thought he would do pretty good.

He called me about three hours later saying he met a girl and wanted me to go with him to meet her.

With that said, being good looking beats any strategy. Not being good looking just means you're in for one helluva ride.

Originally Posted by AURON

So my friend just got out of a relationship, and I recommended plenty of fish to him. He's a good looking guy and I thought he would do pretty good.

He called me about three hours later saying he met a girl and wanted me to go with him to meet her.

With that said, being good looking beats any strategy. Not being good looking just means you're in for one helluva ride.

Good thing then that you're good looking. Especially your thumbs.

Didn't we compare thumbs somewhere once?

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Good thing then that you're good looking. Especially your thumbs.

Didn't we compare thumbs somewhere once?

Oh yeah, we have identical thumbs. Mine are a bit more feminine. As for the looks thing, I'm about a 4.5. My attitude makes me a 2 or 7 depending on what the person is into.

Oh and I stopped texting that one girl. Things weren't working out form the beginning. It sucked. I also hit on another girl I knew in real life. Once again another no go.

I think my problem is dealing with rejection. It's the worst thing ever. I plan on just randomly asking everyone out just so I could get used to it though.

Originally Posted by AURON

Oh yeah, we have identical thumbs. Mine are a bit more feminine. As for the looks thing, I'm about a 4.5. My attitude makes me a 2 or 7 depending on what the person is into.

Oh and I stopped texting that one girl. Things weren't working out form the beginning. It sucked. I also hit on another girl I knew in real life. Once again another no go.

I think my problem is dealing with rejection. It's the worst thing ever. I plan on just randomly asking everyone out just so I could get used to it though.

That would be my sincere advice. I just approached lots of girls until I could stay calm and not blush when they rejected me. Also, they say in order to increase the number of people who say yes to someone, you must increase the number who say no. I guess that is something like "if only 1 in 5 women will be interested in you, then you approach 15 a year and always have a couple interested females to interact with."

Originally Posted by AURON

Oh yeah, we have identical thumbs. Mine are a bit more feminine. As for the looks thing, I'm about a 4.5. My attitude makes me a 2 or 7 depending on what the person is into.

If you're not comfortable with your looks, why not work on them? Improve your physique (healthy diet, regular exercise, plenty of sleep/naps, etc), improve the look of your skin, do something with your hair, and update your wardrobe. Once you've got that down, work on your teeth and facial expressions (I've read that these two go a long way).

I don't mean to state the obvious, but if you're not getting results with your current approach, try investing some time to improve upon a few key areas. What is it that you think holds you back the most?

I see potential for a different direction for this thread..

Any single girls/ladies open to a long distance relationship with a 16 year old British guy, please PM me

Only "requirements"- a facebook account for more convenience, would be nice but not completely essential I suppose :p
And looks/weight do not matter in the slightest

The thread is called "online dating", so I think I've not gone off topic!

Ohhhhhhh JEEEEEEZ........this thread. Well, I guess a status update is in need. No, I'm not a 4.5. My self confidence was at an all time low. I found a girl in real life, and she's wonderful. The only thing I learned on that site was how to become disappointed and frustrated. But on the other side of the coin, the girl who introduced me to my girl, is dating my friend. They met on that awful site. Funny how things work out.

'So far, nothing has happened. Had a few visitors, OkCupid tells me that five people have "liked" me... but what really annoys me is that it keeps telling me that some people are "exceptionally good matches", I check them out and they're really NOT. I mean, I've answered almost two hundred questions, I'm obviously someone who'd rather stay home and watch a film, and yet OkCupid keeps telling me to see women who are super party people. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, OKCUPID!!!'

That's because opposites attract
Try it out, who knows, maybe you'll surprise yourself!

Wow! Long time, eh, thread?

Hmmm... so I ended up meeting a girl irl. We dated for 9 months. And now it's over. But I'd rather give it some time now before I jump back into online dating. I kinda need some time for myself.