• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
    Results 1 to 25 of 28
    Like Tree19Likes

    Thread: Why Most females don't approach Me and Never will?

    1. #1
      Member Achievements:
      1000 Hall Points 3 years registered

      Join Date
      Nov 2013
      Posts
      176
      Likes
      98

      Why Most females don't approach Me and Never will?

      This is in USA. I'm a shy male adult, i have something like aspergers too and disabilty so i'm not good with language and i'm not cognitive level of my age. But anyways i keep hearing that there is somebody for everybody, but how come no girls ever like me or even say hi or ever approach me?
      Even talkative outgoing girls dont say hi to me. I would think they would since they are fearless.

    2. #2
      Member Achievements:
      1000 Hall Points 3 years registered

      Join Date
      Nov 2013
      Posts
      176
      Likes
      98
      So anyone have any thoughts on this?

    3. #3
      No Face Achievements:
      Tagger First Class Made lots of Friends on DV Referrer Bronze Populated Wall Vivid Dream Journal Veteran First Class 5000 Hall Points
      <span class='glow_8B0000'>Narwhal</span>'s Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 2013
      LD Count
      65+
      Gender
      Location
      Cacapoopoopeepeeshire
      Posts
      426
      Likes
      509
      DJ Entries
      172
      You can get into a relationship from looks first, which is what wanting females to approach you sounds like. Same with men approaching females, or any which way. That begins with outer ques and appearance to hopefully form a relationship, then who you are in the inside comes secondary. I don;t find that appealing personally. But another type would be putting yourself out there focusing on showing who you are to people, humans, everyone anywhere whenever you're out. The best relationships or friendships happen when you aren't looking for one. So just put yourself out there not looking for anything from anyone but just to know them, and if you and someone simultaneously fall in love with each others personality, interests, mind, soul, then these pods we walk around in and call our body never need to experience the visual ques of approaching.


      Your whole mind is made in a special way,
      We share the same glow.

    4. #4
      Oneironaut Achievements:
      Made lots of Friends on DV Vivid Dream Journal Referrer Bronze Tagger First Class Populated Wall 1000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      <span class='glow_9400D3'>OneUp</span>'s Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2013
      LD Count
      1+ Every Night
      Gender
      Location
      Here
      Posts
      690
      Likes
      831
      DJ Entries
      269
      Do not worry my friend, looks are not everything, though some women may think so. What really stands out in a man is his confidence. Even more so, women are strongly influenced by a great sense of humor, and also how a man smells. So if you just loosen up around women and be confident you can really do ALOT for yourself. Another thing is making a woman feel good about herself. My friend, who literally weighs like 300 pounds really liked this one girl that you could say was "way out of his league". This girl was gorgeous, 9 out of 10. So my friend starting going for her and really made it obvious that he liked her and she knew this, but she didnt like him back, at all. Eventually my friend realized this and did something I never thought he'd do. About once a week he would go up to this girl and compliment her, you know something simple to start off with- "Hey you look really good today" and he got up to the point where he even bought her flowers a few times. After some time of doing this, the girl went out with him and they later got married. As you can see, looks dont matter at all even though some women would tell you that looks are everything. Dont worry about if you are "not good enough" or you think you are ugly or anything like that. The only thing that makes somebody ugly is an ugly personality. So try some of the things I said out- be confident when talking to girls- look them in the eye when you talk to them, compliment them from time to time, wear cologne- as wierd as it sounds, but most of all- Be yourself man, that'll bring you really far.
      JJFrank likes this.

      "If we doubted our fears instead of doubting our dreams, imagine how much in life we'd accomplish." ~Joel Brown
      "Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are, but you are responsible for who you become." ~Darren Hardy


      Goals:
      -Become Lucid in every dream every night
      -Perfect the time dilation watch
      -Continue to have a dream plan for most of my lucid dreams

    5. #5
      D.V. Editor-in-Chief Original Poster's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2006
      LD Count
      Lucid Now
      Gender
      Location
      3D
      Posts
      8,263
      Likes
      4140
      DJ Entries
      11
      Go to the internet for advice on how to pick up chicks, they said. Those people know exactly how it's done, they said.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    6. #6
      Member Achievements:
      3 years registered 1000 Hall Points
      Validus's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2013
      LD Count
      Common
      Gender
      Location
      Alberta
      Posts
      160
      Likes
      109
      About once a week he would go up to this girl and compliment her, you know something simple to start off with- "Hey you look really good today" and he got up to the point where he even bought her flowers a few times.
      You gotta be cautious with this, though. It's a good idea, yes. But doing so the 'wrong' way can come off drastically different than how you intended.

      Other than that, Narwal and OneUpBoy71 have given you some good advice. But my quick 2 cents as well - CONFIDENCE It's the one of the best tools you can use. I'd almost then rate hygiene above humour, as well. But that's just me.

    7. #7
      Consciousness Itself Universal Mind's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 2004
      Gender
      Location
      Everywhere
      Posts
      12,871
      Likes
      1046
      Just be a member of a rock band. It doesn't even have to be good as long as you play gigs... anywhere. Doing that will turn everything around.
      Original Poster likes this.
      How do you know you are not dreaming right now?

    8. #8
      D.V. Editor-in-Chief Original Poster's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2006
      LD Count
      Lucid Now
      Gender
      Location
      3D
      Posts
      8,263
      Likes
      4140
      DJ Entries
      11
      Relevant:



      I've never had a serious GF but I've gotten laid plenty of times and I still don't really know how it works. I could try to give you theory but it's just theory, the same garbage everyone sells; the Tao of Steve (film), Art of Seduction (book) and the rest that follow them. At heart there's a pretty basic philosophy to all of it. Be yourself and stop centering your happiness upon a romantic relationship or lack thereof. Do what makes you happy and pursue for pursuit itself. It's like getting upvotes on Reddit; the dumbest shit is going to get upvoted no matter how thoughtful and provocative and intelligent and useful your content is--the best musicians lay underneath the froth of talentless radio fodder, and likewise males who appeal to the lowest common denominator will get laid more often and make the rest feel inadequate or inferior for failing to do the same. Like fashion magazines make the average woman feel inferior, also is propagated a cardboard cutout version of masculine attraction to make the average male feel inferior. It's all just conceptual fabrication, none of it matters in the moment. In the moment, you can choose little by little to defy your fear, and little by little to properly evaluate the consequences of your risks. Women don't approach men because men are required to wade through their fragility where women get a pass. I didn't make the social norms but I savor the strength these requirements have granted me. Quickly enough you learn the more willing you are to have yourself flailed, to less seriously you take things and the less seriously you take things the more at ease you put people around you and the more at ease you put people around you the safer girls feel around you and the safer girls feel around you the more likely they are to initiate.
      Last edited by Original Poster; 03-04-2014 at 08:34 AM.
      Universal Mind and JJFrank like this.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    9. #9
      Newbie louie54's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 2004
      Gender
      Location
      San Diego
      Posts
      1,895
      Likes
      347
      I've pretty much been in just one long-term relationship so I guess I can't give great advice here, but I still think confidence is a an important thing to have (as long as you stay true to yourself).

      How about some inspiration:





      Spoiler for Kind of raunchy so use caution:


      I'm not saying you need to be a womanizer, but I feel it shows that confidence can go a long way and if you get rejected then don't worry about it and move on.

    10. #10
      Oneironaut Achievements:
      Made lots of Friends on DV Vivid Dream Journal Referrer Bronze Tagger First Class Populated Wall 1000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      <span class='glow_9400D3'>OneUp</span>'s Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2013
      LD Count
      1+ Every Night
      Gender
      Location
      Here
      Posts
      690
      Likes
      831
      DJ Entries
      269
      Quote Originally Posted by Original Poster View Post
      Go to the internet for advice on how to pick up chicks, they said. Those people know exactly how it's done, they said.
      But really for someone who's actually had plenty of girlfriends before it is. Plus its better than the advice you've given him.

      "If we doubted our fears instead of doubting our dreams, imagine how much in life we'd accomplish." ~Joel Brown
      "Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are, but you are responsible for who you become." ~Darren Hardy


      Goals:
      -Become Lucid in every dream every night
      -Perfect the time dilation watch
      -Continue to have a dream plan for most of my lucid dreams

    11. #11
      Oneironaut Achievements:
      Made lots of Friends on DV Vivid Dream Journal Referrer Bronze Tagger First Class Populated Wall 1000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      <span class='glow_9400D3'>OneUp</span>'s Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2013
      LD Count
      1+ Every Night
      Gender
      Location
      Here
      Posts
      690
      Likes
      831
      DJ Entries
      269
      Quote Originally Posted by Validus View Post
      You gotta be cautious with this, though. It's a good idea, yes. But doing so the 'wrong' way can come off drastically different than how you intended.

      Other than that, Narwal and OneUpBoy71 have given you some good advice. But my quick 2 cents as well - CONFIDENCE It's the one of the best tools you can use. I'd almost then rate hygiene above humour, as well. But that's just me.
      Yes I see exactly what you mean, if you do something wrong or go too far it'll come off as creepy. But I guess you could say that approach was intended for somebody who at least somewhat understands girls haha

      "If we doubted our fears instead of doubting our dreams, imagine how much in life we'd accomplish." ~Joel Brown
      "Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are, but you are responsible for who you become." ~Darren Hardy


      Goals:
      -Become Lucid in every dream every night
      -Perfect the time dilation watch
      -Continue to have a dream plan for most of my lucid dreams

    12. #12
      Member Achievements:
      1000 Hall Points Made lots of Friends on DV Veteran First Class
      Laurelindo's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      LD Count
      52
      Gender
      Location
      Sweden
      Posts
      704
      Likes
      623
      Honestly, voByJunior2013, you seem a little too concerned about girls in general.
      If you worry about not being "good enough" for them for whatever reasons then it will show in your charisma and behaviour as well, and this tends to be a turn-off for a lot of girls.
      Of course, some of them might find it cute it some way, but in general girls don't tend to find insecurity too attractive.

      Learn to love yourself (without being cocky of course, although cockiness tends to be a sign of insecurity anyway, so it's kind of a self-contradicting scenario) and stop worrying so much about everything, and you will come off as a much more attractive guy.
      Also make sure you have a concrete goal in life, anything that feels meaningful - girls are very impressed by guys who have clear goals and ambitions, and this will make you feel a lot better about yourself as well.
      Last edited by Laurelindo; 03-09-2014 at 07:49 PM.
      TwitchLucidity likes this.

    13. #13
      Dreamah in ReHaB AirRick101's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 2004
      Gender
      Location
      Los Altos, CA
      Posts
      1,622
      Likes
      22
      I grew up with OCD and depression, among symptoms that indicated that I even might have been schizophrenic, too. I've always had trouble getting girlfriends, and my first one was definitely somebody I unhappily settled with. But it's my fault as a person, too, because I didn't aggressively pursue the ones I crushed on.

      Since those horrible days from elementary to high school, I've found it easier to be comfortable in the world, mainly because I've found out that I wasn't eating healthy and wasn't really getting enough exercise. Body image is a reliable way to boost self-image.

      but enough about me...my best advice is to go up to a girl, smile, and say hi. They will like it. Girls are not bitches, and are a very warm kind of people
      Narwhal likes this.
      naturals are what we call people who did all the right things accidentally

    14. #14
      Member Achievements:
      Created Dream Journal 1000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      Diamondec's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2010
      Gender
      Posts
      83
      Likes
      27
      DJ Entries
      11
      Some women are shy. I know I am very painfully shy. I say hi at most and then quickly walk away. Its sad really. Hopefully, I become more outgoing at least meet a guy who will take the initiative. I just hope I can find someone special some day.
      Dream Goals:

      [] Create device that will make me instantly lucid.

    15. #15
      Member
      Join Date
      Mar 2014
      Posts
      140
      Likes
      66
      I'm surprised that's the main thing you're worried about: girls liking you. But not everyone is a social butterfly, and then ask yourself, "Why would someone want to talk to me a stranger?" It's probably not personal. I didn't see you mention anything about them rejecting your greetings. If you want to talk to them so badly, take the conversation to them. Otherwise, you'll be convinced you're this forever disliked person, you'll never try to engage a conversation, and then you really will be lonely. The solution isn't complicated (not to sound mean).

    16. #16
      Member Achievements:
      Created Dream Journal Tagger First Class Referrer Bronze 5000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      Jakro's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2009
      LD Count
      68
      Gender
      Location
      Bukidnon, Philippines
      Posts
      140
      Likes
      56
      DJ Entries
      29
      You won't get approached cause it isn't feminine to approach. There's a polarity between the sexes and the masculine does, feminine reacts. You are putting yourself in the wrong end of the equation hoping to get approached.

      That being said, OBVIOUSLY its a generalization. There are girls who approach too. But I think you should start working on overcoming your shyness instead of hoping for external circumstances to handle this girl situation for you.

    17. #17
      D.V. Editor-in-Chief Original Poster's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2006
      LD Count
      Lucid Now
      Gender
      Location
      3D
      Posts
      8,263
      Likes
      4140
      DJ Entries
      11
      Quote Originally Posted by OneUpBoy71 View Post
      But really for someone who's actually had plenty of girlfriends before it is. Plus its better than the advice you've given him.
      It's people like you that cause me to troll. What's better than the advice I've given him? Did you even read it? Did you comprehend it? Could you summarize it back to me? I don't mean to take your oblivious mumbling personally, I know you meant no offense by it, but I'm curious if you even know what my advice is considering you've thought it necessary to denounce it without an explanation.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    18. #18
      Changeling ColdRusalka's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 2014
      Posts
      12
      Likes
      14
      As a woman, I find it funny that everyone tends to think there's a formula to make the general female/male population like you. Not all women/men are the same, nor do they have the same tastes in women/men.

      It's probably best to get a little less shy, makes some friends, and when it seems appropriate you can see if developing a relationship beyond friendship is of interest. Rejection is part of the process, and it happens a lot, but there are a lot of people in the world and you won't make a connection with someone if you never try.
      Wasatch and Narwhal like this.
      “Not much touches us, but we long to be touched. We lie awake at night willing the darkness to part and show us a vision.”

    19. #19
      Member Achievements:
      Created Dream Journal Tagger First Class Referrer Bronze 5000 Hall Points Veteran First Class
      Jakro's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2009
      LD Count
      68
      Gender
      Location
      Bukidnon, Philippines
      Posts
      140
      Likes
      56
      DJ Entries
      29
      Also good reminder for OP is to never listen to women's advice on how to pick up girls. They are in cognitive dissonance about what they themselves want bar for maybe few super-aware ones (1 out of 10 000 maybe).

      Try reading this blog for a few days and see if you have any ideas:
      The Best of Rational Male

    20. #20
      Banned
      Join Date
      Nov 2013
      Gender
      Location
      Tx
      Posts
      110
      Likes
      81
      You bumped your own pity me thread, for starters. It's in your head.

    21. #21
      Member Achievements:
      1000 Hall Points Made lots of Friends on DV Veteran First Class
      Laurelindo's Avatar
      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      LD Count
      52
      Gender
      Location
      Sweden
      Posts
      704
      Likes
      623
      Quote Originally Posted by Jakro View Post
      Also good reminder for OP is to never listen to women's advice on how to pick up girls. They are in cognitive dissonance about what they themselves want bar for maybe few super-aware ones (1 out of 10 000 maybe).
      I wouldn't necessarily say that.
      I think the problem is that guys often tend to misunderstand what girls mean (not too strange though, because girls really do tend to be more indirect about their desires, and sometimes talk more or less in riddles ).
      For example, if girls say they want "a great guy who they can depend on" this tends to be intepreted by guys as "oh, so if I act super-nice and always make sure to never anger her in any way, I will probably be a great guy, and she might become interested in me".
      The problem is that this is not generally considered a positive quality by girls, and they will instead think of it as a classic "nice guy scenario", where the guy seems insecure and tries to please them in every way possible, all the time, and that's not sexy.
      What's really sexy for most girls (and I generalize a lot here because I really think it is true for most girls) is when a guy seems comfortable with himself and has no real "need" for a girlfriend, but still sexually appreciates a specific girl that he particularly likes and loves to be with her, and also makes her feel that he will be there for her when she needs his assistance for some reason - but also signals that he doesn't tolerate any disrespect, and is always ready to state his personal opinion about things without over-contemplating what he thinks his girlfriend "wants to hear";
      and it's also very common among "nice guys" to prepare every phrase and every step of their planned approach for eternity before they actually approach "the hot goddess".
      It's that kind of insecure behaviour that guys often mistake for "niceness" and "respect for the girl", and it's exactly that kind of "niceness" that girls find unattractive, because it signals insecurity more than anything else.
      In fact, having differing opinions and provoking a girl in a playful manner can often come off as quite flirty and can lead to lots of mutual laughter and joy.
      In fact, flirting very often consists of playful teasing.

      Bottom line - treat all girls like ordinary human beings, and flirt playfully with those you find attractive, but don't "expect" a lot of "results" right away, but instead let things develop without planning everything ahead.
      If there is chemistry between you, things will progress naturally, but if it feels forced, then let it go.
      Last edited by Laurelindo; 03-21-2014 at 02:29 PM.

    22. #22
      Changeling ColdRusalka's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 2014
      Posts
      12
      Likes
      14
      Quote Originally Posted by Jakro View Post
      Also good reminder for OP is to never listen to women's advice on how to pick up girls. They are in cognitive dissonance about what they themselves want bar for maybe few super-aware ones (1 out of 10 000 maybe).

      Try reading this blog for a few days and see if you have any ideas:
      The Best of Rational Male
      ^^^Mad 'cause women don't want him.
      Wasatch likes this.
      “Not much touches us, but we long to be touched. We lie awake at night willing the darkness to part and show us a vision.”

    23. #23
      D.V. Editor-in-Chief Original Poster's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 2006
      LD Count
      Lucid Now
      Gender
      Location
      3D
      Posts
      8,263
      Likes
      4140
      DJ Entries
      11
      ^^^Already just said women are different, denies that women can't give advice on how to pick up other women.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


    24. #24
      Changeling ColdRusalka's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 2014
      Posts
      12
      Likes
      14
      Quote Originally Posted by Original Poster View Post
      ^^^Already just said women are different, denies that women can't give advice on how to pick up other women.
      Attached Images
      “Not much touches us, but we long to be touched. We lie awake at night willing the darkness to part and show us a vision.”

    25. #25
      Dreaming SpaceCowboyDave's Avatar
      Join Date
      May 2011
      LD Count
      Dunno
      Gender
      Location
      Michigan
      Posts
      1,505
      Likes
      1757
      I wondered this once, but then I remembered that I hardly approach anyone myself, so it is fair enough.

      "You Can't, You Won't And You Don't Stop"
      Lucid Goals: [Ask a DC: "Am I dreaming?"] [Ask a DC: "What are you?"]

    Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

    Similar Threads

    1. Attitudes of females toward other females
      By Arra in forum The Lounge
      Replies: 51
      Last Post: 01-23-2012, 04:49 AM
    2. Females???
      By Je33ica in forum The Lounge
      Replies: 54
      Last Post: 01-15-2010, 03:43 AM
    3. Do you approach women or do they approach you?
      By Mysteryhunter in forum The Lounge
      Replies: 52
      Last Post: 03-04-2009, 06:49 AM
    4. Males Vs Females
      By ExoByte in forum Extended Discussion
      Replies: 34
      Last Post: 04-16-2007, 11:18 PM
    5. Are they any females here?
      By Nessa in forum The Lounge
      Replies: 15
      Last Post: 06-05-2004, 12:34 AM

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •