I dreamed of (possible) rape, half-lucid. Am I a danger now?

And no, I wasn't the one getting forced. It was me doing it. I don't know if my age matters, but I turned 18 on the 15th of March. During the dream, I knew it was a dream. Not sure what it was that made me notice, but this is a first time my dream's been lucid enough for me to just notice. I was in school, normal day. I did meet this freshman girl last term (she turned 15 last month), and I didn't have the thoughts till I saw her in the dream. When I'm active, fully awake, I never have thoughts anywhere near this. Even consensual. The odd part is, I find any sex pretty unappealing when I'm awake. I'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend. But I met her, and I liked her quite a bit. But this is, interestingly enough, the only girl I've had feelings for where any sort of intercourse never really crossed my mind. My dreams are never sexual either. Oddly, she has pretty short hair, but in the dream, her hair was long and wavy (maybe time passed, she looked older by a year or two). But back to once I saw her. She ran off (for some reason, I did not know why), and I first actually ran after her just to ask her what was up with the running off when we usually at the very least, share a happy greeting, if not a friendly conversation. But I actually got a hold of her, and those thoughts crossed my mind. She got away, and I kept chasing her. Being the "god" I am in my dream, I was able to make her appear right in front of me. And I forced her into a bathroom (because I apparently lose all my class when I become a rapist and willing to have sex in a disgusting restroom), but right before anything happened, I woke up, feeling very guilty. I mean, psychologically, I guess it makes sense. I never dated anyone, almost given up my hopes. Along with that, because of our strong chemistry (we clicked really quickly), our friendship was teased and "shipped" (basically people thought we'd be a good couple). And her father... hates teenage guys thinking they might rape her or something, and as such, prohibits her from dating. Great. I became the thing her father despises. I understand why he probably hates me now.

So my question is, am I a potential danger? I really doubt I could overpower her in real life, I'm not a strong person, and she's barely smaller than me, even weighs a bit more than me (I'm 110 pounds, not saying much). I get it ended right before, but I really doubt it was going anywhere else. And I know it's technically just fantasy, and didn't even happen in the dream. And yes, we have spent time together alone, and those are the times that worry me. I just don't want to hurt anyone... especially her. I mean, at one point, I could probably say I loved her, but really... could I say that now?

No, I feel confident saying you're not a danger. The fact you're wondering if you're a danger shows you feel remorse even for a totally unconscious scenario that played out in a pseudoreality. The point at which somebody becomes a danger is when they not only see nothing wrong with it but found the idea thrilling (and I don't mean they rationalize that it was a dream so it's no big deal), and think about doing it in real life. Sometimes really crazy or terrible things happen in dreams, where you are the one committing the crime.

A few examples of my own was when I was younger, around your age, I had a concussion that caused terrible depression and violent impulses. I haven't had any in a long time, but I can say I've had at least 20 or so dreams where I've killed people. Usually I didn't necessarily want to, but I felt like something unreal was compelling me to, and simply thought "sorry but I have to" and usually had to beat them to death with some kind of blunt weapon without a shred of remorse or compassion. It was almost casual. A few other times they were more heat of the moment or self-defense things, but either way those things happened but I've never killed anybody or even hurt anybody in real life. They're just dreams, there's nothing wrong with you.

edit: I missed the part where you said you were lucid and didn't notice this was in lucid experiences. I still don't think you're a danger. You're an adult and know the difference between a dream and reality. Again, the fact you even felt bad about it shows you aren't a danger. I hope you don't think you're the only guy to force himself on a dream character lol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by snoop

No, I feel confident saying you're not a danger. The fact you're wondering if you're a danger shows you feel remorse even for a totally unconscious scenario that played out in a pseudoreality. The point at which somebody becomes a danger is when they not only see nothing wrong with it but found the idea thrilling (and I don't mean they rationalize that it was a dream so it's no big deal), and think about doing it in real life. Sometimes really crazy or terrible things happen in dreams, where you are the one committing the crime.

A few examples of my own was when I was younger, around your age, I had a concussion that caused terrible depression and violent impulses. I haven't had any in a long time, but I can say I've had at least 20 or so dreams where I've killed people. Usually I didn't necessarily want to, but I felt like something unreal was compelling me to, and simply thought "sorry but I have to" and usually had to beat them to death with some kind of blunt weapon without a shred of remorse or compassion. It was almost casual. A few other times they were more heat of the moment or self-defense things, but either way those things happened but I've never killed anybody or even hurt anybody in real life. They're just dreams, there's nothing wrong with you.

edit: I missed the part where you said you were lucid and didn't notice this was in lucid experiences. I still don't think you're a danger. You're an adult and know the difference between a dream and reality. Again, the fact you even felt bad about it shows you aren't a danger. I hope you don't think you're the only guy to force himself on a dream character lol

---

Here's the thing though. I was only "half-lucid". I think. I'm not too sure, it was my first experience that felt in any way lucid for the most part. It's not like I was in full control. At least, it didn't feel that way. I felt like something was pushing me to do what I did, and I felt I was not in the right mind. Also, most of my dreams are in third-person. This one was one of my few dreams in first-person. But the main problem is that she wasn't a dream character. She's a friend of mine, in real life. Granted, she looked slightly different, and a bit older, but it was still obviously her. If she was some random character, I wouldn't care too much. But you're probably right. Like I said, I don't think of her sexually (only romantically) in my life for the most part.

Well, I still maintain the person you raped in the dream was a dream character all the same. I didn't mean to say it was someone random so much as point out that it wasn't a real person, even if the dream character shared her likeness. I know what you mean by being half or semi-lucid. It's not unusual in dreams where you try to have sex for you to more or less lose control of yourself because you're responding to dream input with one of your baser desires. The brain structures involved in desires like that are still pretty active when sleeping but the ones responsible for executive function (being able to control yourself, make good judgments and decisions, and more or less responsible for providing you with a conscience) are more or less silent. Obviously when you realize you're dreaming, those parts of your brain get some level of stimulation, but it's still greatly diminished. You aren't of the same state of mind as somebody who is wide awake and aware of what they are doing; it's very easy to lose what little lucidity and awareness you have when you get it in your mind to do something that'll bring you instant gratification (like have sex). As such, it isn't surprising to find yourself doing something shocking, like forcing yourself on a girl you know in real life. The sexual desire popped up, but the part of your brain that would normally be telling you to forget about it wasn't anymore, so your sexual desire trumped everything else and you pursued her.

like snoop says, sometimes when semi lucid, you use a very primal part of your brain, only basic needs exists. For a few nights in a row i would get semi lucid and start making out with the first dc i see male or female, when i woke up im like wtf ... Also it could be something about the dad if he doesn't like bfs because they could be rapists you might feel he is right somehow and have a dream about it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by snoop

Well, I still maintain the person you raped in the dream was a dream character all the same. I didn't mean to say it was someone random so much as point out that it wasn't a real person, even if the dream character shared her likeness. I know what you mean by being half or semi-lucid. It's not unusual in dreams where you try to have sex for you to more or less lose control of yourself because you're responding to dream input with one of your baser desires. The brain structures involved in desires like that are still pretty active when sleeping but the ones responsible for executive function (being able to control yourself, make good judgments and decisions, and more or less responsible for providing you with a conscience) are more or less silent. Obviously when you realize you're dreaming, those parts of your brain get some level of stimulation, but it's still greatly diminished. You aren't of the same state of mind as somebody who is wide awake and aware of what they are doing; it's very easy to lose what little lucidity and awareness you have when you get it in your mind to do something that'll bring you instant gratification (like have sex). As such, it isn't surprising to find yourself doing something shocking, like forcing yourself on a girl you know in real life. The sexual desire popped up, but the part of your brain that would normally be telling you to forget about it wasn't anymore, so your sexual desire trumped everything else and you pursued her.

---

Actually, the rape didn't happen. It got really close, but I woke up right before. But yeah, I understand. My brain wasn't exactly the most awake. But, if you want to get into more details, the "making good judgments and decisions" area doesn't finish developing till your mid 20s. I just find it odd that I never really think about sex at all much when I'm awake - even less so about her. I just found it intriguing how something that could never come to my head while I was awake, happened in my subconscious. And yeah... I've had my own murder fantasies as well. I guess the difference that triggered this post was I was a bit lucid (my first time), and someone I knew was involved.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by oneironautics

like snoop says, sometimes when semi lucid, you use a very primal part of your brain, only basic needs exists. For a few nights in a row i would get semi lucid and start making out with the first dc i see male or female, when i woke up im like wtf ... Also it could be something about the dad if he doesn't like bfs because they could be rapists you might feel he is right somehow and have a dream about it.

---

Yeah,makes sense. And he didn't hate boyfriends specifically, just teenage males in general (at least that's what she told me, so I guess he doesn't show it).

Dude it just a dream when you are in the dream you can be anything you are the boss i had a terrorist dream once where i became a terrorist and started killing people whoever i saw but that doesn't mean in real life i am going to do that. It just a dream.

Then I'm a danger because I killed ppl and dogs in my dreams lol:rolllaugh:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by snoop

It's not unusual in dreams where you try to have sex for you to more or less lose control of yourself because you're responding to dream input with one of your baser desires.

---

I second this. It is also important to note that if you were semi-lucid, as is common for beginners, often you notice you are dreaming and have some control but are easily distracted/pushed by the dream itself. Your comment about feeling like the dream was pushing you is pretty good evidence of this; it is likely you were lucid enough to know what was going on but not enough to fully resist the plot your dream had already lain out for you. Now, why you would have a dream like this in the first place has something to do with the current state of your psychology... if I had to guess, a mix of your buried feelings for this girl and fear of becoming what her dad despises, as others here have said.

Please remember that dreams are yours. You can't hurt anyone inside them. Lucid dreams are meant for exploration, and fantasies are part of that exploration. Just be careful not to hurt yourself emotionally!