Man of Shred
Jesus of DV

Seems Jamie is back to normal.

Jamie 1

Brief flash of driving in the country with Jamie in a white vehicle. This was daytime

Jamie 2

Brief dream of slow dancing with Jamie in a living room. There were disco lights flashing. Asuka seemed to be the DJ. The song was a really old song.

Jamie 3

I was in a backyard by a garden during the daytime. My dad was there and he said, " the girl that's arriving has borderline problems like you. You two would be a good match," not his exact words but something like that. In a muddy driveway a white pickup truck arrives and I see Jamie in the passenger seat. The driver I can't see but I feel it's her dad.

Losing control

I was in the backyard again. I was exploring a shed. I looked out a crack in the wall boards. I started tapping my chest hard. Not sure if it was an RC or not. I stepped outside the door and started getting dizzy. I began falling over but kept trying to pull myself up. I just kept fading more and more no matter how hard I tried to stay conscious. I was panicking.

Woke up and the Jamie voice asked if I was okay?

Fake Jesus

I'm walking in a tunnel inside of a big tower with a maze to the top. At the entrance is standing Jesus in a red robe. He looks like a guy cosplaying Jesus. We make small talk and begin the maze tower. Suddenly he's a British woman. We are jumping on these blocks that take us up the maze. I'm talking to him and almost say , "god dammit." When I miss a block. I say, " Oh wait, that's a sin right. Please forgive me." The British lady says, "Yes, that's a sin.". I jump and make it to the block . It looks like Jesus again and he's standing on a rotating block, so he has to jump to stay on it when it turns on it's edge. I can't make the jump so I ask him to pull me up. He hesitates and I insist he's supposed to help me. He grabs my hand but the block turns over and he falls on me and we both fall down the shaft.

Last night: no recall. Stress from getting into an argument with my dad where he thought it was okay to shove me. I had to go for a drive to olds to calm myself down until I was done with reliving all the trauma. Spent half an hour parked at the McDonald's and watching Tik Tok.

Jamie and me are getting attacked in dreams again. Can't we just catch a break?

What?

I walk into a large basement room. Jamie is there but looks like an older woman I've seen from Tik Tok with a big fat guy. He looks like the guy who was the husband of the Jamie look alike I saw in wal mart a while ago. Jamie teleports him away. I go to the bed, but it's not a couch, I sit beside her and say, "Hello." Jamie just ignores me. The dream ends.

Jamie's double

I'm in a basement but it looks different from the last one. I'm exploring different rooms but I come to a big living room. I see two Katelynn's sleeping next to each other on a mat. I instinctively feel one Is Jamie however. I pick one up and begin going to another room. I decide against it for some reason and put her back. I notice one of them seems to be a darker shade.

School

All I remember is being in a classroom with children. The teacher starts complaining to me that I keep falling asleep and snoring. I decide I'm dropping out. I go by the door to collect my shoes. One of my shoes is really worn and is torn in half. I begin walking across the field to leave and I forget the rest.

I wake up and ask the Jamie voice if she had any dreams about me? She said something like she saw two of herself. I drifted off then.

Jamie's Double 2

I am briefly dreaming from Jamie's perspective. I'm in a dark room like the one with the two Katelynns I look down on a sleeping mat and I see myself, and also myself (Me, Robert the author.) I see them both between long strands of brown hair that are dangling down.

I consult Raven the next day that I am having two problems: 1. There's a Fake Jamie in my dreams. 2. I'm not seeing Jamie as herself, but other people (Jen, Katelynn, older lady) Raven agrees to help.

Last night:

again?

Brief dream where Jamie is next to another woman and being a little too friendly with her, and I'm jealous and angry.

Other dreams were random non lucids. They seemed really long but I can't remember much. none of them had Jamie in them.

Hotel

I'm in the hotel again but I can't remember what happened. Just lots of rooms with lots of people.

Busy

I'm with lots of people but we are going around town and doing things, can't remember what.

Recycling

I'm with my brother but he has a truck. We are by a beach, kind of like Sylvan lake. I take these bags of bottles and load them into the truck. some guy comes up to me and says he wants to buy the truck. Then I notice the bags are gone. I accuse him of stealing the bags. He says he just wants to buy the truck. I just get mad or something and talk to other people about him and eventually he leaves. I then talk to my brother about the guy.

Mainly remember 2 dreams. One from each night.

What

I'm with Jamie and Asuka at a theme park or something. We are climbing some stairs that go way up. It seems to take forever to get to the top. At the top two people are waiting. One is that annoying girl Gina, from Tik-Tok... The one who got famous making funny faces and saying, " No Chick-Fil-A sauce?". Jamie seems to know who she is, Jamie looks at me and gives a devilish smile and ditches out the door. Me and Gina go through and the "ride." Is actually just flying. We both start flying and I see Jamie. Me and Gina start singing an 80's song. I think it's the love theme from,"Ghost.". While I do like 80's, I'm not a particular fan of that song, but I sing along anyway. When it comes to a high pitched part in the song, I stop. Gina looks back at me and laughs. Don't remember after.

Lucid

I'm in a basement with a bunch of people. I test gravity and Become lucid. I want to look for Jamie, but as I move around, I lose the dream.

Confusing

I'm in the basement again. Asuka is there and some children. My brother's girlfriend is there but is hitting on me... Fucking ew. Too tall/manly/ short hair. But I somehow sense it's Jamie. Not sure why she looks like that in the dream. She is holding my hand first and I go to sit down on a couch. Jamie goes to sit on my lap. But she sits right on my... You know. My memory fades after.

Nothing much else to report. The head voice relationship thingy is really stable, compared to how it was months ago. I am pleased.

Some really good dreams this past couple of days. Someone must have really liked my last entry!

Jamie 1

I'm outside a bar with Jamie. The same one from a while ago. It's a real place in Didsbury, the two bars facing one another practically across the street. Jamie is just being goofy. She has these napkins and keeps putting chipotle sauce on napkins and trying to make me eat it. WTF. No Chick-Fil-A sauce?

Jamie 2

Same place again. It's night time. We are alone and it's really late. Jamie goes up to an old grey car and starts trying to remove the headlight.

A bunch of other jamie flashes but they are too short to comprehend.

Next night:

Family outing

I'm with family in calgary, apparently visiting my Mom. We are in a park near the bow river but everything looks different than normal. I'm up on a hill and below is a grizzly bear, but it seems friendly. I find a bounce thing that propels you in the air. I jump on it and fly high over bridges. When I land I'm in a truck with my dad. We are in an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly I'm in a mall and Jamie is on my right and my dad is on my left. He make a really rude comment when we pass by some ice cream and smoothie stand. There's two small vats with flavored milk with a beater in each. He says since me and Jamie are lovers we should get an idea from those mixers... It makes no sense but it sounds sexual and rude. I just ignore it. I try to lean against Jamie while I walk and she almost stumbles or trips. I apologize and she puts her arm around me. I notice I'm eating a bunch of mini plain doughnuts from a small paper bag. I go to eat one and Jamie tries to grab it out of my hand. I give it to her. I say, "I don't like the taste of these anyway." As they are pretty bland. That's all I remember.

Audio only dream

I hear both me and Jamie reciting The Lord's Prayer together.

The real Jesus.

In my vision I see something like a nice painting. It resembles Jesus Baptizing Jamie in a stream.

I really hope it's true.

First off. I wanna backtrack on what I said about soul ties. I did some research and the term is not biblical. That crazy stuff about sex may not be true.

second: I was doing my prayers yesterday. Jesus kept pressing on me to give Jamie things to pray about... and I'm like: I get that, but could you be more specific? I was not expecting an answer but Galatians 4:3 screamed into my head. I actually never read all of the bible yet... So I wasn't particularly familiar with that book. I was skeptical but looked it up on bible gateway website. and the NIV translation really shocked me: So also, when we were underage, we were in slavery under the elemental spiritual forces of the world of course you always have to go with context. the next verses describe going into Jesus as a son or daughter, and onward it says 9 But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces ? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? So what I gather is: pray against your vices and keep them in check. And spiritual forces. I pray all that over her.

third: To Jamie, try not to feel worried or pressured that you must do anything towards me soon or right away. Take your time. If you know Jesus now, get to know him and rest in him - Lay your worries at his feet. I was on tikTok yesterday and occasionally i get BPD related videos and one said something that seemed to reflect what she said in a dream, when she said, "Please be very patient with me." It said: be patient and let them open up to you. I know it can be dangerous to you to jump into something if you're not ready or careful. I still have some issues to work on myself - Trauma over memories and stuff, which the head voice helps with (I ask: what did it mean when you did/said this or that sort of thing. Her voice does answer even sometimes reluctantly. I get answers that seem to make sense - not going to rely on this completely, the only answers i can really trust is yours.) I wanna work on making myself a safe place for you.

Dreams: only 2 from last night.

Fight

I was in a grassy hill area. I was flying around in the air or something. Jamie was walking on a hill all zoned out doing her glass eye thing. A bunch of people were fighting on another hill. A big witch was wielding a sceptor shooting electricity. Raven was there. I can't remember much.

ok

Another sex dream.. This time in a bunch of sheets.

honestly I kind of miss the dreams where we seem to be talking - negotiating, asking questions.