Man of Shred
Jesus of DV

Jamie and me are getting attacked in dreams again. Can't we just catch a break?

What?

I walk into a large basement room. Jamie is there but looks like an older woman I've seen from Tik Tok with a big fat guy. He looks like the guy who was the husband of the Jamie look alike I saw in wal mart a while ago. Jamie teleports him away. I go to the bed, but it's not a couch, I sit beside her and say, "Hello." Jamie just ignores me. The dream ends.

Jamie's double

I'm in a basement but it looks different from the last one. I'm exploring different rooms but I come to a big living room. I see two Katelynn's sleeping next to each other on a mat. I instinctively feel one Is Jamie however. I pick one up and begin going to another room. I decide against it for some reason and put her back. I notice one of them seems to be a darker shade.

School

All I remember is being in a classroom with children. The teacher starts complaining to me that I keep falling asleep and snoring. I decide I'm dropping out. I go by the door to collect my shoes. One of my shoes is really worn and is torn in half. I begin walking across the field to leave and I forget the rest.

I wake up and ask the Jamie voice if she had any dreams about me? She said something like she saw two of herself. I drifted off then.

Jamie's Double 2

I am briefly dreaming from Jamie's perspective. I'm in a dark room like the one with the two Katelynns I look down on a sleeping mat and I see myself, and also myself (Me, Robert the author.) I see them both between long strands of brown hair that are dangling down.

I consult Raven the next day that I am having two problems: 1. There's a Fake Jamie in my dreams. 2. I'm not seeing Jamie as herself, but other people (Jen, Katelynn, older lady) Raven agrees to help.

Last night:

again?

Brief dream where Jamie is next to another woman and being a little too friendly with her, and I'm jealous and angry.

Other dreams were random non lucids. They seemed really long but I can't remember much. none of them had Jamie in them.

Hotel

I'm in the hotel again but I can't remember what happened. Just lots of rooms with lots of people.

Busy

I'm with lots of people but we are going around town and doing things, can't remember what.

Recycling

I'm with my brother but he has a truck. We are by a beach, kind of like Sylvan lake. I take these bags of bottles and load them into the truck. some guy comes up to me and says he wants to buy the truck. Then I notice the bags are gone. I accuse him of stealing the bags. He says he just wants to buy the truck. I just get mad or something and talk to other people about him and eventually he leaves. I then talk to my brother about the guy.

Mainly remember 2 dreams. One from each night.

What

I'm with Jamie and Asuka at a theme park or something. We are climbing some stairs that go way up. It seems to take forever to get to the top. At the top two people are waiting. One is that annoying girl Gina, from Tik-Tok... The one who got famous making funny faces and saying, " No Chick-Fil-A sauce?". Jamie seems to know who she is, Jamie looks at me and gives a devilish smile and ditches out the door. Me and Gina go through and the "ride." Is actually just flying. We both start flying and I see Jamie. Me and Gina start singing an 80's song. I think it's the love theme from,"Ghost.". While I do like 80's, I'm not a particular fan of that song, but I sing along anyway. When it comes to a high pitched part in the song, I stop. Gina looks back at me and laughs. Don't remember after.

Lucid

I'm in a basement with a bunch of people. I test gravity and Become lucid. I want to look for Jamie, but as I move around, I lose the dream.

Confusing

I'm in the basement again. Asuka is there and some children. My brother's girlfriend is there but is hitting on me... Fucking ew. Too tall/manly/ short hair. But I somehow sense it's Jamie. Not sure why she looks like that in the dream. She is holding my hand first and I go to sit down on a couch. Jamie goes to sit on my lap. But she sits right on my... You know. My memory fades after.

Nothing much else to report. The head voice relationship thingy is really stable, compared to how it was months ago. I am pleased.

Some really good dreams this past couple of days. Someone must have really liked my last entry!

Jamie 1

I'm outside a bar with Jamie. The same one from a while ago. It's a real place in Didsbury, the two bars facing one another practically across the street. Jamie is just being goofy. She has these napkins and keeps putting chipotle sauce on napkins and trying to make me eat it. WTF. No Chick-Fil-A sauce?

Jamie 2

Same place again. It's night time. We are alone and it's really late. Jamie goes up to an old grey car and starts trying to remove the headlight.

A bunch of other jamie flashes but they are too short to comprehend.

Next night:

Family outing

I'm with family in calgary, apparently visiting my Mom. We are in a park near the bow river but everything looks different than normal. I'm up on a hill and below is a grizzly bear, but it seems friendly. I find a bounce thing that propels you in the air. I jump on it and fly high over bridges. When I land I'm in a truck with my dad. We are in an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly I'm in a mall and Jamie is on my right and my dad is on my left. He make a really rude comment when we pass by some ice cream and smoothie stand. There's two small vats with flavored milk with a beater in each. He says since me and Jamie are lovers we should get an idea from those mixers... It makes no sense but it sounds sexual and rude. I just ignore it. I try to lean against Jamie while I walk and she almost stumbles or trips. I apologize and she puts her arm around me. I notice I'm eating a bunch of mini plain doughnuts from a small paper bag. I go to eat one and Jamie tries to grab it out of my hand. I give it to her. I say, "I don't like the taste of these anyway." As they are pretty bland. That's all I remember.

Audio only dream

I hear both me and Jamie reciting The Lord's Prayer together.

The real Jesus.

In my vision I see something like a nice painting. It resembles Jesus Baptizing Jamie in a stream.

I really hope it's true.

First off. I wanna backtrack on what I said about soul ties. I did some research and the term is not biblical. That crazy stuff about sex may not be true.

second: I was doing my prayers yesterday. Jesus kept pressing on me to give Jamie things to pray about... and I'm like: I get that, but could you be more specific? I was not expecting an answer but Galatians 4:3 screamed into my head. I actually never read all of the bible yet... So I wasn't particularly familiar with that book. I was skeptical but looked it up on bible gateway website. and the NIV translation really shocked me: So also, when we were underage, we were in slavery under the elemental spiritual forces of the world of course you always have to go with context. the next verses describe going into Jesus as a son or daughter, and onward it says 9 But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces ? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? So what I gather is: pray against your vices and keep them in check. And spiritual forces. I pray all that over her.

third: To Jamie, try not to feel worried or pressured that you must do anything towards me soon or right away. Take your time. If you know Jesus now, get to know him and rest in him - Lay your worries at his feet. I was on tikTok yesterday and occasionally i get BPD related videos and one said something that seemed to reflect what she said in a dream, when she said, "Please be very patient with me." It said: be patient and let them open up to you. I know it can be dangerous to you to jump into something if you're not ready or careful. I still have some issues to work on myself - Trauma over memories and stuff, which the head voice helps with (I ask: what did it mean when you did/said this or that sort of thing. Her voice does answer even sometimes reluctantly. I get answers that seem to make sense - not going to rely on this completely, the only answers i can really trust is yours.) I wanna work on making myself a safe place for you.

Dreams: only 2 from last night.

Fight

I was in a grassy hill area. I was flying around in the air or something. Jamie was walking on a hill all zoned out doing her glass eye thing. A bunch of people were fighting on another hill. A big witch was wielding a sceptor shooting electricity. Raven was there. I can't remember much.

ok

Another sex dream.. This time in a bunch of sheets.

honestly I kind of miss the dreams where we seem to be talking - negotiating, asking questions.

First night:

Just a flash of a sex dream. Couldn't really tell who it was with.

Second night before bed, Talked with Raven about a dream Raven had about visiting Jamie. Apparently Jamie was digging a hole in her dream house basement in order to let a "friend," in. I found that suspicious, so I suggested to Raven that we help Jamie dig the hole and find out who her friend is.

Wandering

A dream of wandering around a big and fancy apartment building or hotel. I had to go to the bathroom so I kept going up and down stairs. In my memories of this place I remembered where one might be. I went there but the toilet was gone and in its place: there was a homeless man humping someone under him. I wandered off and kept searching but my memory fades.

Funny

Brief sex dream. Me and Jamie are in Canmore, she's driving a brown SUV or an older station wagon. We park on a street and use the back. I notice it's common for her to be on top.

Oh no

I'm in Jamie's house in the addic room. It's really messy and disorganized. An angry and stressed out Jamie walks in through a door. She has a small piece of paper in her hand and says, " Jesus said that you have to message me and ask me out!" And she throws the paper violently on the table and storms off. I look at the table she threw it on and see a bunch of papers strewn and torn up all over the table.

Now, I did pray about false Jesus' not being able to enter our dreams. Probably why she had to dig a hole to see her "friend." That must be some weird dream - logic loophole.

On the note subject matter: I've already made myself pretty clear on here and still stand on what I said. I'm left on read, for 6 years now. Pretty clear indication that Jamie wants nothing to do with me, and I'm treating it as such. That's a clear boundary for her and me. If she has a change of heart and reaches out - that's a different story. I'm not going to force or manipulate anyone into anything. A month ago I had some dreams of Jamie wanting to apologize, and also that I should wait and be patient with her while she figures out what to say. I'll stick with that.

Laptop

Back in the same room and Jamie is going through my laptop. She's looking for dating sites i used to go on or something. That's all I remember.

Nope, I deleted all my profiles, and removed all apps.