Robot_Butler
Dream Guide

I'm in film class, waiting my turn to give my presentation on a quirky indie movie. The film was about a crazy young woman losing her mind. At one point, she cuts the gas line to the water heater, climbs in the bathtub, and lights a match. The entire house blows up, but she is kept safe in the tub. I'm confident I won't have to present until tomorrow. There are too many people before me. This is good, because I'm not at all prepared.

The girl presenting before me does an interpretive dance. She is wearing a one piece outfit, like a bathing suit. It is cut narrow across the chest, exposing her arms, shoulder, and entire breasts on each side. Her dance turns into a stripper's routine towards the end, and she gives me a lap dance. I look at my girlfriend sitting next to me, and can tell she is jealous. It is not even a good lap dance. Her nipples are huge, and really rubbery. She keeps rubbing them in my face in an uncomfortable way.

When she is finished, the teacher calls me to present. I'm not prepared, at all. In fact, I've forgotten the entire plot of the movie. I can't even fake it. In a moment of semi-lucidity, I realize this is a typical dream situation. I run out of the classroom, and jump into the air to fly away. Once outside, I find myself in my old childhood neighborhood. I fly over the redwood suburban fences toward a vacant house on the corner. It is an amazing house. The previous owners must have remodeled it. It looks like an old Greene and Greene house was disassembled and combined with something super modern. I let myself in.

Apparently, the house is not abandoned. The owners are just moving out. They are a nice young couple I recognize from my current neighborhood. I play with their dogs, and learn that one is a pug mix, like my own. I didn't know they grew so big. This one is the size of a large German Shepherd. I help them finish packing. The woman whispers for me to come back later that night for some super secret sex. I retire to the guest suite, waiting for our midnight rendezvous.

As I explore the suite, I see a strange relief carving on the wall. It looks like an animalistic creature with protruding eyes. I press the eye buttons, and hear a mechanical click. The wall slowly slides open to reveal a secret room. The room is the nefarious lair of the woman's husband. He is a werewolf. Just like me! The woman must have noticed that I, too am a werewolf. She must want my help. Deciding to confront the woman, I leave the guest suite. As I make my way down the dark hallway, I feel one of the dogs brush up against me. I reach down in the darkness to pet it, and grab a handful of long, matted fur with thick muscles beneath. My hand comes away, wet with sticky, warm blood. Something is wrong. This is not a dog. It's a wolf.

Too bad I lost the flashlight I normally keep next to my bed, and use to write down dreams. I had an incredible dream last night about a Dream Views meetup. We all met together in a room that reminded me of a high school gym. Someone was asking me whether Stephen Laberge was black, testing to see if I knew who he was. One girl in the group seemed very familiar. She was someone I knew on the forums. Thinking back on it, I believe she was from my old high school, although we were never friends. She was very interested in me, so we made out even though I was not attracted to her at all. At some point, I became lucid and started floating around the room in the lotus position. I can't remember, but I know I did quite a bit more, once lucid.

I was out on the front patio with my father, when I noticed a tan, axe-head shaped UFO flying above us. Startled, I tried to point it out to my father, only to realize he was nowhere to be found. My confusion lasted only a few seconds before I woke from the vision and found myself lying on the ground. I had blacked out, fallen out of my chair, and imagined the entire UFO scenario. The sky was empty except for a flock of small, black birds. Something still did not feel right. I felt a pain in the side of my stomach, like a foreign object was lodged there. Was I just abducted and implanted? Did I really just black out?

Nauseous and dizzy, I made my way to the bathroom. Worried I would black out again, I told my father to come in after me if I wasn't out in two minutes. I sat on the toilet to steady myself, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was alone in the bathroom, but could feel some sort of presence next to me. As I turned my head to look, my friend Josh appeared from thin air and let out a nightmarish scream right in my face. I screamed, too, feeling a disorienting dual awareness. Josh started dragging me into the mirror as I felt my real body struggling to scream through the sleep paralysis.

I recognized the feeling of a dream, and assumed I must have passed out again. I continued to scream, desperately hoping my father would hear my screams, and come into the bathroom to wake me up. Hands shook me awake. I expected to wake on the bathroom floor with my father, but instead found myself safely in bed with my girlfriend.

I woke from a dream, having to pee really badly. I remembered just waking from a dream where I was using the bathroom. I was really comfortable, and in that sleepy zone. I really didn't want to get out of bed. Suddenly, my girlfriend woke up, and started laughing. Her pajama shorts were soaked, as was a large section of the bedsheets. Apparently I had peed in my sleep, and wet the bed.

I recognized how funny this was, but I was still really embarrassed. I've never done this, even as a child. Something felt wrong as I started climbing out of bed. Looking at my girlfriend in the dark, I said out loud, "I don't think I'm really awake right now." She laughed and said, "You wish this was just a bad dream. You're not dreaming. Get up."

I got out of bed to use the bathroom, while my girlfriend started stripping the sheets off the bed. How humiliating. I fumbled with the light switch for a minute in the dark, but couldn't find it. It was almost pitch black in the bathroom. I finally managed to get the lights on, and sat down on the toilet. I felt extremely tired.

Suddenly, I was back in bed. How did I get here? Did I fall asleep on the toilet? Maybe I was right all along, and that was just a false awakening. I still really did have to pee. I slid over to get out of bed, and felt the wet sheets. Shit! I really did wet the bed! I tried to get out of bed, but couldn't move my body properly. It felt like I was still half asleep. I was extremely disoriented, and felt like I was blacking out. I still really had to use the bathroom. Finally managing to get out of bed, I stumbled into the bathroom.

Again, I couldn't find the light switch in the dark. I accidentally bumped the switch for the fan, and it noisily whirred to life. Beneath the noise, I heard someone breathing close to me. This was followed by the subtle crack of a joint, and the rustle of someone moving in the darkness. Someone was standing right in front of me! I leaned forward, punching as hard as I could. My fist swung through the empty air. I panicked, and again reached for the light switch. This time, I found it, and was temporarily blinded by the sudden bright light. When my vision cleared, I saw I was alone in the bathroom. Strangely, the bathtub was filled with water and children's toys. I sat down on the toilet to calm my heart beat.

Again, I woke up in bed. Another false awakening?! Damn. I rolled out of bed, this time noticing the sheets were not wet. My heart was racing and I still really had to pee, but at least I didn't really wet the bed. I walked around the foot of the bed towards the bathroom. In the dim light, I saw the silhouette of my girlfriend sit up in bed. "Look!" She yelled. "Look! Look!"

I was already terrified from my creepy nightmare false awakenings. This freaked me out even more. I backed against the wall, and started yelling, "What? What's wrong?!" I peered through the darkness, thinking there must be some intruder, large insect, or animal in our bedroom.

"The blankets," My girlfriend replied. "They are all on your side of the bed. I told you I haven't been stealing them in the middle of the night." I remembered teasing her about this the night before when I woke up naked, while she was wrapped in all the blankets like a burrito. "Go to sleep," I said. Then I went and used the bathroom.

I've been having tons of these short spontaneous DILDs lately, even though I haven't been doing anything specifically to cause them. Here are a few from the last week:

The Wolf
Looking in the mirror, I realize something is wrong with the reflection. The reflection of my face looks correct, but my clothes and surroundings are not reflected properly. The objects I am holding don't show up in the mirror, and my body does not even seem to be in the same position. I realize I must be dreaming. I slowly and purposefully make my way out of the house, looking at my hands to stabilize the dream.

As I walk into the front yard, I count my fingers. Six, seven, eight fingers? Everything looks remarkably stable and real, even my eight-fingered hands. I pause for a minute in the front garden. This is not my house, but my childhood home. I stop by the lavender plants, and lean in to smell the small purple flowers. As I look closely at the plants, I notice dozens of bees darting around. I take a deep breath to relax and try to see if I can feel their life energy. I can hear their soft buzzing, and feel the vibrations resonate in my body.

This humming feeling makes my body start to change. I bend over on all fours, looking down at myself to see I have turned into a large white wolf. It feels natural to walk on all four of my legs, so I take off running down the street. I can run incredibly fast, and circle the block faster than I could in my car. As I approach my original starting point again, I see some people on the street. I recognize one of the girls, the sister of an old friend from college. Apprehensively, she reaches down to pet me gently, like a dog. I can tell she is frightened of me. I talk with her for a while, and we end up having sex right on the street. The sex feels strange, and I realize I am still in the body of a wolf. I briefly consider how perverted this scene is, before waking up.

The Bear
I'm wandering around at a concert at an outdoor amphitheater. A path leads to a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean. Steel rails flank the path, separating it from some animal cages, beyond. Zookeepers are busy cleaning the polar bear's cage. I briefly wonder where they keep the bear while they clean. As I turn around to walk back to the concert, my question is answered as I see the polar bear climbing over the railings. He looks right at me, and slowly approaches. He seems friendly and curious about me. I get a strong feeling of love and friendship from him like you get from your dog. Of course, I still continue walking away from him since he is a gigantic, wild polar bear. I don't want to provoke him by running, but I also don't want to get too close to him. Halfway up the path, we are intercepted by another bear. This one is a large black bear the size of a grizzly, but patterned like a sunbear. He and the polar bear stop to sniff each other, while I take the opportunity to run away.

I make it safely back to my group of friends, and start to tell them about the bears. In trying to explain the events, I realize how ridiculous and unbelievable my story sounds. I instantly know I must be dreaming. Before I can consider what to do, I see my polar bear friend making his way through the crowds towards me. I approach him, in awe of his size and majesty. I stroke his fur, amazed at how real and warm it feels. I can feel his powerful muscles moving beneath the thick coat of white fur. It is really intimidating to be so close to such a huge and dangerous animal, even though I know it is a dream. My heart is beating fast, and I feel the adrenaline from the excitement. I wrap my arms around the beast, and bury my face in his soft, sweet smelling fur. He lowers himself down, and I climb onto his back for a ride.

He stands up quickly, throwing me off balance for a second. As I struggle to hold on, I'm surprised to see feathers sprout from his sides. The feathers grow into wings, snow-white and fluffy like an angel. The winged bear leaps into the air, and takes me for a short flight around the outdoor amphitheater. The sudden flight is a little too vivid and unexpected, and the excitement wakes me up.