Roseburg
Deeper into the abyss!

In my dream, Scott was driving somewhere and almost ran off the road twice, the second time he almost ran us into a river. Then I looked around and there was a small office next to the river, and the river was part of the decoration in a larger room outside of the office. I spoke to a dream person and asked where we were and they remarked the river, and said that they love it and come down to swim at it all of the time. Then there were many dream people that almost seemed menacing. Excitedly I began to wake up in the dream and I realized that it would be fun to go and take a closer look at all of the textures, smells and tastes inside the dream. I turned to Scott and told him these people are just “Aspects of myself- watch!” I asked a younger girl what she represented and she refused to tell me, I became angry and told her “NO! I know what you are, tell me what you represent!” And grabbed her tightly and pulled her in so that I could get right into her face and yell it over and over again. She tried to turn evil and then fight me, but I kept the fear down and kept repeating that I knew she was representing something and to tell me what it was. Finally almost annoyed she said – "I am your younger self." Confused I said "what does that mean?" Exasperated she said – “ I am the aspect of You fighting your younger self!” Instead of being kind to her as I have been in the past to aspects I felt even angrier and told my husband to defile her since she was just a part of me that I did not like- at which point the aspect sense left her and she was only a container or projection and I woke up feeling sick and angry at myself for being such a horrible person. WTF is actually wrong with me? I have to go back in and call for her, we need to talk, I need to say I am sorry.

I had a dream that we lived in our neighborhood and my 9-year-old daughter kept sneaking out and playing in outher peoples houses in the middle of the night. I was upset with her, but not too much, I figured it was a phase she would grow out of and she would stop after I told her too. Then a pregnant lady that looks like my 9 year olds teacher came to my house and rang the doorbell in themiddle of the night, she was very angry, she was returning my diaghter to me and said "your kid was playing in my house in the middle of the night!" I appologized, she said "this happend all of the time and everyone is sick of it!" I appoligized agian and then she said "We all just want uyou to know that we think you are a terribal parent and we want you to leave!" "We don't want you in our neighborhood anymore!" I started crying because it was so mean and I said- why would you say that? am so lonely, maybe if you just let me walk with you guys or do things I wouldn't be so lonely and my girl would act better. She got angry and told me that she did not appriciate me trying to manipulate her! Then she aksed me what I was going to do about my girl. I picked my daughter up by her ears!?? Ans was tellign her sh eneeded to listen and I was so angry that now we had to move and no one liked us because she wouldn't stop doing what she did. I was sobbing and breathing hard in the dream and my 10 year old woke me up because she was worried- hearing me breahting so hard.

I had an amazing lucid dream last night. I suddenly became aware that I was lucid so I turned to the woman standing next to me and and asked - do you represent a part of me? For the first time in the history of ever one of my dream characters said yes. She said Yes! I said wow really what do you represent? She said "the truth of yourself." I said how does that work? She replied - Ask me anything. SO I said - I've been having an issue with a friend that is really bothering me, I dont agree with what they are doing ... And all of a sudden she yelled "THAT'S YOUR EGO!" Her face was angry and mean. I said , you don't understand this is really bothering me, let me tell you what is bothering me and I started telling her the situation again and she cut me off- She looked at me and screamed "That's selfish! That's your EGO!" Her face even more angry than before. I was taken aback and so I tried one more time. But this is really upsetting me..."NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! THAT'S SELFISH! THAT'S YOUR EGO!!!!" I was really freaked out and pretty embarrassed. SO I said ...I am sorry

Her face went back to normal and she looked all sweet again and she smiled at me and said ...."That's okay

" WoW! What a cool message from the universe! I totally understand now.

The second part of the dream - the devil was chasing me, I ran and hid and ran and spent most of the dream trying to get away from him. Finally he cornered me and I looked at him and saw his horns and suddenly felt sorry for him because I thought the horns must hurt. I reached up to touch them and my hand went right through them, I said " your not real!" He smiled at me and said, no I'm not.

After 2012 I began to lose interest, because I had no questions I wanted answered. I hit a wall so to speak. I am back. I have questions.

Have been having extremely vivid dreams lately due to the fact I have been drinking a little less Kava and recently enjoyed a legal treat in Colorado, which seems to make my dreams very deep and vivid. I took a nap this afternoon because I had a very sore back. In my dream I was a teenager again, and my friends were getting together to hang out. I didn't know I wasn't an adult because when a friend and I were hanging out in a bedroom I pulled out some weed shared it with her. I laughed and said "That's one of the reasons I like being a grown up!" To which she looked at me like I was crazy and said "Your not grown up." I looked in a mirror and realized that she was right, I looked like I was about 16. Then we went to an out building where people were shooting pool and listening to music, there must have been 100 people that I remembered from the past, I was lighter, happier and more jovial in the way I interacted with people. I'd run up to people and smile so genuinely and give them a hug or pat them on the shoulders, I was flirtatious too, the feeling that I could potentially make any of the guys fall in love with me. It was truly like being 16 again. I smiled at one guy who was very handsome and looked very Native American, he gave me some kind of complement, like "you are so cute!" and then looked me strait in the eyes and said "I miss this part of you." That's when I woke up, he was one of those DC's that seemed to represent a part of myself, he definitely acted in an unexpected way. I felt light and happy for a few hours afterward, but thought about how I did miss that side of myself, and how I should try to rekindle that outlook on life.