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    1. #1
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      reoccurring dream about old crush.

      I've posted this on several different forums and so far, nobody has answered me.

      Okay, so where do I begin?

      In elementary school, I had a crush on this boy named Billy. We both went to different middle schools, but we went to the same high school. In high school, I had a major, MAJOR crush on him. I cannot even explain how much I liked this kid. He was a grade ahead of me, but we were pretty good friends. We joked around a lot, play fighting and flirting, I guess you could say. I'm not sure if he liked me, I wasn't really his type, I was into the whole emo thing, and he hung out with all the wanna-be gangsters. but there's this one time that I keep thinking about that makes me think he might have.. We were alone in one of the hallways in school one morning, and it was raining pretty bad out. He grabbed me and was pulling me towards the door, pretending he was going to throw me in the rain, but then he pushed me against the lockers, and we were pretty close, and I swore he was going to kiss me, but people started coming in, and he let me go. There would be times he'd wink at me, blow me kisses, stuff like that. He even carved his name into my locker. Also, one of my friends, veronica, well.. I don't think I'd call her a friend, but either way, she was obsessed with Billy. (just mentioning her, b/c she is often in my dreams). She would constantly leave notes in his locker, follow him around. Which he wasn't too fond of. He graduated in 2005. I graduated in 2006. The last time I saw him was in November of 2006, at our school's thanksgiving day football game. I didn't even know he was there until I was leaving and he followed me out, and jumped on my back and hugged me.

      Now I have a boyfriend, we've been together for 3 years now. I also knew him since elementary school. I've been having dreams about Billy lately. I've been having them for years. I'll have a few dreams a few times in a week, then like, a month or so could go by, and I'd start having the dreams again. There's different variations of them, but in every single one, in my dreams, I'll run into Billy in a random place.. On a bus, in a store, or sometimes I'll even be back in high school again. And it's always the same thing, he tells me he really missed me, that he really loves me. Then around that point, Veronica shows up and tries to stop him from telling me his feelings. Sometimes my boyfriend is in my dreams, and I'd cheat on him, but I would always feel guilty and I'd always wake up before I could tell him that I cheated. After I wake up, I just can't stop thinking about him. I've tried to find him online, but he isn't on any networking sites, and none of our old friends have kept in contact with him. It's just driving me crazy, and I feel horrible about having these dreams, because I do love my boyfriend, I mean, we're even talking about getting married soon. I just want to know what this all means.

    2. #2
      polyphasic cephalopod nautilus's Avatar
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      I'm not sure what it means, exactly, but there are definitely some unresolved feelings. It sounds like the dreams are the main reason you're thinking about Billy. Whenever I've gotten recurring dreams/nightmares, it's been because I kept doing the same thing in the dream and wasn't getting whatever message it is my subconscious was trying to tell me. Maybe you could try to get a lucid dream and ask the dream characters questions, or at least go to sleep with that intention. Also, take note of what's going on in your waking life when these dreams occur, and see if there's some common issue that may be triggering them. It may turn out it's related to something different than what you expect (a less literal interpretation).
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