I had generally tried to steer clear of areas of my experiences where I really have to stretch to connect the dots, or inject imagination to further the links. Yet there is a strange occurrence of mine which does involve lucid dreaming, or the body asleep mind awake state.
Until the early 90s I had only a few experiences that might now be called OBE. In 93 I had a profound experience OBE and this sent me searching. I then devoured some of Bob Monroe's books wherein he said certain things that no one could have known had they not had the same experience. I decided to nurture and cultivate whatever it might be so I would have more events like this (generally, I only had a few similar events since). However, on multiple occasions (while using hemisync binaural and not) I had an experience that I tied then and now to adrenaline or related.
My body was asleep and I was totally awake. I could feel my breathing very slow, deliberate, sleeping-like. I was aware of people in the neighborhood outside, mowing lawns, a car horn far away. This was the place from where began the lucid dreams, when I had them. Then... I begin to fall. It is slow at first but it is exhilirating as it picks up speed. I am falling. I also described the feeling in my book as "micro tearing;" No, I am uncertain why but intense vibration may be more accurate. But falling, yes. Faster and faster. My heart races and even though I am now falling in darkness, am totally unafraid, I consider my heart will explode. I actually consider that lying here on this bed right now, if I continue, this is where they will find me dead. Was I prepared to die? It seemed just considering this ended the moment. Later, in reading these various books, something vaguely similar is discussed and it is asserted that one should not be afraid at all, that fear is what ends the moment. I decided I would have no fear and just "go for it."
The sense of falling was as real as any awake state I can know and its exactness to dumping my adrenaline was remarkably similar. I had the sense of impending waves, increase momentum, heart rate increasing, and other inexplicable things that make the association obvious to me. Over the next years I continued to do this, hungry and eager to get through this to whatever lies... I dont know, beyond the fall? I would increasingly have this happen but not every time fall, many was just entering some lucid dream state where I describe it as fingerpainting with my dreams. But the falling, when it happened, still had me fearing as the fall, the heart rate, seemed to reach a cresendo where I thought I would explode. Yes, thought. It seemed all my thoughts were always deliberate, unafraid, clear, and like an observer; "If I continue I will die. I will be found dead here and they will say I suffered a stroke or heart attack, and no one will know this amazing..." so went the thoughts that ended the falling.
Over time, and numerous years in shitholes like Iraq and Afghanistan, Yemen, Pakistan, elsewhere, I lost the ability to do the falling. Occasionally I still try and tell myself its time to get back into that exploring, but I have not done it lately. Without question, I associate the sense in the mind awake body asleep state of "falling" exactly to the awake state feeling when I do "this thing."
Thank you for allowing me to share. Insofar as this jumps considerably into the wholly subjective areas of our life, I worry how managing this information from many of us would contribute, or detract, from figuring out what we have.
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