Frightened

**Bokononymous** · 03-06-2010 06:02 PM

For some background:
I began reading LaBerge and Rheingold's Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming a few days ago and have been keeping a journal fairly steadily and checking, perhaps obsessive-compulsively, whether or not I'm dreaming upon anything close to a dream sign, but have yet to attain Lucidity. I've been trying every method possible and certainly am making progress, but still find blocks.

While attempting a WILD, I have used Pot-Shaped Breathing and Progressive Relaxation, Attention to Hypnagogic Imagery, the White Dot technique, the Dream Lotus and Flame technique, counting myself to sleep, and attention to body, sometimes incorporating multiple techniques. In many ways, I've been successful, but there's one thing that seems to hold me back: Fear. Here's how it usually happens, with varying degrees of success:

I listen to Brian Eno's Music For Airports during a midday nap and begin to close my eyes, breathing deeply and watching shapes and colors of light float by, passively reacting to them, counting to myself "one, I'm dreaming, two, I'm dreaming," et cetera, to one hundred, about three times over. By this point in time, I am fully aware that my body is at least numb if not mostly paralyzed. This does not frighten me, however, I suddenly feel my heartbeat uncomfortably hard and fast and a sensation--not necessarily painful, but certainly active--around the area between my eyebrows. After experiencing this for a bit, my vision stops appearing like normal vision with foci and peripherals and instead jumps out at me, suddenly, covering a spectrum too full to fully explain. I can feel Rapid Eye Movement set in my eyes, and the picture, which just looks like random yellow spray paint on a white wall, stays somewhat still as opposed to flowing hypnagogic imagery. A few seconds more and the picture begins to appear like a strip of analog film, with imperfections. At this point, I simply can't take the heartbeat anymore, and twitch a finger or toe and lose my state.

Considering that I am a newbie, I should view this objectively as successful: Five days and I'm already nearly attaining something that takes most many months to attain. And yet--this mental/physiological block has happened more than once and I don't know how to remove it. Will achieving lucidity through a MILD perhaps remove some of the fear going into a WILD?

**Puffin** · 03-06-2010 06:15 PM

I think most people who first start WILDing have some form of nervousness. That's normal; I was too, at first.

I suggest continuing to read about others' WILD experiences and the latter. The more I read about what SP was like, the easier and more prepared I felt. Then, when my next WILD came, I was exhilirated instead of freaked out.

**Bokononymous** · 03-06-2010 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by Demara

I think most people who first start WILDing have some form of nervousness. That's normal; I was too, at first.

I suggest continuing to read about others' WILD experiences and the latter. The more I read about what SP was like, the easier and more prepared I felt. Then, when my next WILD came, I was exhilirated instead of freaked out.

I think the fear was different, though. I was comfortable with sleep paralysis (or at least thought I was). What really ruined it for me was the rapid increase in the speed and intensity of the heartbeat. Is it normal for that to happen near the onset of REM, or is it more likely that I'm having a nervous reaction to the myriad of lucid dreaming?

**Puffin** · 03-06-2010 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by Bokononymous

I think the fear was different, though. I was comfortable with sleep paralysis (or at least thought I was). What really ruined it for me was the rapid increase in the speed and intensity of the heartbeat. Is it normal for that to happen near the onset of REM, or is it more likely that I'm having a nervous reaction to the myriad of lucid dreaming?

Oh, the heartbeat - right. Lots of people experience that.
I still think it has something to do with excitement or fear. Unfortunately I don't know if that's 'normal' during REM.

**BigFan** · 03-07-2010 01:18 AM

Originally Posted by Bokononymous

I think the fear was different, though. I was comfortable with sleep paralysis (or at least thought I was). What really ruined it for me was the rapid increase in the speed and intensity of the heartbeat. Is it normal for that to happen near the onset of REM, or is it more likely that I'm having a nervous reaction to the myriad of lucid dreaming?

Originally Posted by Demara

Oh, the heartbeat - right. Lots of people experience that.
I still think it has something to do with excitement or fear. Unfortunately I don't know if that's 'normal' during REM.

Why I am not fully positive if the hearbeat speed and intensity should increase near the onset of REM sleep, I can tell you that whenever I have a nap and wake up abruntly(happened like that 2 days ago), my heart is just racing. I can hear it even when there is noise in the room and it is beating like nuts, however, I just relax and calm down

**jmanjohn** · 03-10-2010 04:12 AM

I was new not too long ago. But i remember the first time i tried wilding. It was intense. I was scared shitless. I was lying down just trying it since i didn't think it was gonna work. After 30 minutes or so i went into sleep paralysis. I tried to stay calm but my body wouldn't let me since it was a different new experience. But i've gone to sleep paralysis about 10 times now, and for me it gets easier. You get less stressed over it. But i don't think it'll go away. You remind me alot of myself.

**changed** · 03-11-2010 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by Bokononymous

I think the fear was different, though. I was comfortable with sleep paralysis (or at least thought I was). What really ruined it for me was the rapid increase in the speed and intensity of the heartbeat. Is it normal for that to happen near the onset of REM, or is it more likely that I'm having a nervous reaction to the myriad of lucid dreaming?

Maybe the heart beat is just an hallucination. I have read that while under SP you experience alot of hallucinations including sounds and feelings.

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