Thread: Street Romance Side Story

(Oh yeah, bet you thought you'd never here from me again? Well, think again! I am back. At least to post this story since I am bored and felt like it. So to let you know first off, this is actually a story I have been writing and whether you read it Auron, I would not blame you if you got upset with me again. . .I know, I am always starting a new story and never finishing it. One day, I will and you will be the first person I mail my books to if we still know each other by then, that is. Anyways! Enjoy!)

I remember like it was yesterday, when Miranda had just transferred from the Jefferson’s Grocery, in Ohio, as assistant manager. I swear, if there was anyone that needed to learn to have fun was her. She use to be so straight-laced. Her mannerisms, the way she dressed, and the way she spoke, and even the way she walked, it was like she had something shoved up her as---Aspirin bottle.

Though after I was through with her, when you actually got to know her, it was just because she was terribly shy that she acted that way. Never leading anyone on how she truly felt.

What did I do to loosen her up, you may ask? Alright you perverts, get you’re mind out of the gutter. Though, I do have to admit, what I did could be considered really disgusting. But in my defense, I wasn’t the only one who was in on this one. Brian, Jody, Aaron, and his girlfriend Nicole played a role in this too.

Well, mainly Brian came up with the idea, the rest of the crew stood in the distance at their registers, the deli, or cleaning up a spill on aisle four. They were all watching as me and Brian snuck into her office while she was away on break. Probably eating McMuffins and drinking coffee at McDonalds, it’s what she normally ate for breakfast.

I shut the door behind us, quietly. Brian was at the other end of desk and we stared at each other, smiling. We nodded in silent agreement and spilled the contents of what we carried in our arms onto the desk. Brian checked the time by looking at the clock that hung on the wall over Miranda’s laptop. “Shit.” He cussed. “We don’t have enough time. Let’s hurry it up.”

“Hey!” I retorted back. “We would have had plenty of time to do this if you hadn’t been sucking face with that girl that looked as old as Jody.”

He had a repulsed look on his face. “Urgh. Sam, that’s disgusting. Don’t compare Jody to. . . Uh. . .” He stammered a bit, trying to remember the girl’s name.

I snorted, shaking my head at him in half disbelief. “You were Mac ‘in out with a girl that you don’t even know the name to? Jesus Brian, you’re such a slut.”

“Hey” He pointed a finger at me to say something then replied lamely. “You make a good point.”

I nodded in agreement. “As I almost always do. . .” I flicked my collar. “Now, can we get back to what we are supposed to be doing?”

He winked at me; my eye was already twitching, knowing very well he was going to say something that I’ll find revolting. “Yeah baby, just hop unto the desk and we’ll get to doing something, alright.” He said in a lower octave. If that was his attempt at being seductive then it’s about time his face meet my fist. Which because I thought of that, I felt I should say it, which I did.

“Brian, if that was your attempt at being seductive, then it’s about time your face meet my fist.” I said while looking at him with an expression that said he was an idiot. That and I had one fist up to empathize I meant it.

He got my point and opened a box of tampons. I took the strawberry preserves, with no seeds, might I add, and opened the jar. He handed a tampon to me and I took it, dipping it in the preserves. We repeated this action until we made a trail that lead out to the break room. Aaron, was in charge of cleaning on most days, this being one of them, told us he wouldn’t clean it until after Miranda got there.

Now, one of the things that could possibly be running through your mind is, why did I go with such an outlandish idea? The answer to your question is quite simple, I have no Earthly clue. So what was the point of making fake bloody tampons? Trust me, there is one. I’m getting to it.

Yes, I do realize this is kind of a long flashback. I like to ramble every now and then, so sue me. What was inside of the break room was a welcoming party. Kind of lame to go to such lengths but at the time it seemed like a good idea. Ok, I wouldn’t go that far. But it’s something to tell the kids. If I ever have any, that is.

So, the streamers, balloons, the cake, and even the party hats were all set up in there ready for Miranda. Yes, there were party hats. Aaron insisted we have hats. He has a thing with hats. That’s one of the reasons he is usually told to go home. Because normally, he’s caught wearing them, which you’re not allowed to be doing so.

Why has he not been fired? That’s a good question. It is because he is the best at cleaning and maintenance. Even Brian agrees, and he’s Mexican. I think there’s a racist joke somewhere in there.

“She’s heading your way. Get your asses out of there.” Aaron called out, over on the walkie talkie that was clipped to Brian’s waist. We both were staring at the thing like we were hoping for Aaron to pop out of it or something.

It wasn’t until the words finally registered that Brian and I looked at each other and high-tailed it out of the break room. Brian, like the chicken-shit he was, quickly disappeared into the Men’s restroom. I could not do the same, so I sprinted all the way to my register, number nine and pretended I was busy.

Miranda had a large empty Mc Donald’s bag and was using it to stuff the tampons quickly away into it. The look on her face was unreadable, which to me, was absolutely hilarious. If you weren’t paying attention closely, you wouldn’t notice her mouth was twitching and her movements were sort of stiff. She was acting as if this wasn’t getting to her when it clearly was.

To what some of you might be thinking, just to clear your head, the store doesn’t open until 10:00 am, and right now, it’s only 8:23 am. That left plenty of time for her to have her welcoming party. As to how she entered the store, it was through a back entrance door that leads inside, to her office. She normally got into the store that way.

You see, its main use was to be an extra storage space to unload and load items, stocking to say the least. Mainly for toiletry items, such as, toilet paper, plungers, Clorox bleach, etc. etc. . . . Doesn’t that make you feel shitty? Now it’s been converted to an office. It’s been that way right before she arrived here. She didn’t find it in the least bit troublesome; on the contrary, she found it doubly convenient.

I heard coughing and turned my head to see Jody have one fist hitting her chest. Jody’s grey eyes were watering, her cheeks flushed, and if her other hand wasn’t covering her mouth; I would swear she was choking.

Yet, I knew better than that. It was because she was trying her best not to laugh and in the process, she had choked on her gum. Gone down the wrong pipe again, has it? Yeah, this is not the first time this ditzy thirty-something blonde has choked. Although, I rather not further explain, on what else it could have been. I’m sure you can catch my drift though.

Nicole works over at the deli and she is like a nurturing type of person, so when there was someone in need, she was there to help. She’d only been working for two years at the time. She had rolled her eyes at me when she noticed I wasn’t making an attempt to even try to help Jody.

I shrugged while mouthing the word “What?” when she had strolled past me. She walked on over to her, patting her back hard to see if Jody would cough it back up or swallow it.

It’s not like I could be much help anyways. Besides, I can’t help but think its entertainment. Come on? You don’t think a blonde choking isn’t funny? Must only be me then.

Aaron was madly in love with her. Not that he was one to lean on a woman to take care of him. No, he worshipped the ground she walked on and cleaned it too. He did anything to make her happy and Nicole was happy because she’d do the same for him. They were so disgustingly adorable that it made rainbows, unicorns, and all things cute even want to vomit.

Miranda had a walkie talkie of her own, strapped to her waist, so it was a little nerving hearing her voice on the intercom. “What’s the meaning of this? I want the party who is responsible for this to meet me in the break room.” She declared. “Immediately. . .”

Although Brian may be a slut and works part-time at the deli, he is quite the genius with electronics. He managed to hook up Miranda’s walkie talkie to the intercom during the first few weeks of her working here. He thought it was pretty sweet. I thought of it as a nuisance and knew one day it would backfire on us. Bet he’s regretting it immensely now.

I was shocked to see Nicole, Aaron, and even Jody following me as I walked toward the break room. Aaron walked behind Nicole and Jody, who were walking side by side each other. It felt like I was leading them since I was in front.

“Good to see Jody cheated death once again.” I thought to myself.

I jerked my head to the sound of flushing in the direction of the men’s restroom. A smile curved on my lips. “Good to see you’ve finally joined us.” I said nodding my head, when the door swung open to reveal Brian coming out.

He nodded his head back to me then saluted. “Of course, couldn’t let my best friends take all the blame.”

“Right, seeing as it was your idea in the first place.” I heard Aaron say.

Brian had walked over to me, swirled himself around with one foot, and placed an arm around me. “Well, all of it would have gone to waste if it weren’t for my good ole’ buddy, Samantha here hadn’t been by my side.” He winked down at me. Then he turned to look over his shoulder at Aaron, winking again.

I pinched his hand and he winched, pulling his arm away. “Touchy. Touchy.” He muttered under his breath. He used his other hand feel the punctures on his right. Ooopsie. I guess I dug my fingernails a little too deep.

I battered my eyelashes, placing a hand on my chin, and then bit my lower lip. “Sorry ‘bout that.” I apologized.

I stood in the doorway as Brian waltzed right in there without a care in the world. Like we couldn’t get terminated at this very instant for what we have just done. We expected the least bad possible scenario was being suspended for the next few weeks. Worst, was being fired and having this placed on all of our permanent records.

Yet as we all huddled into the break room, and could hear and somewhat see the distant observers waiting on what happened next, we were all shocked to see a huge smile on her face. Not the one you expect to see on someone, who after being humiliated and would take so much joy and satisfaction at firing us. No, it wasn’t that one.

Her legs were crossed underneath the table, swinging back and forth. She had a plastic spoon in one hand and in the other, a fork. They were lying down on the table with a paper plate in between. She was even wearing one of the party hats. She nudged, with the hand that had the spoon for us to sit down. I, for one, was a tad reluctant and stayed where I stood.

Nicole pulled a chair out and sat down all lady-like and proper, Aaron had his arms crossed, standing behind her. Jody fidgeted in the chair she was readying herself to sit down on, doing her best to get herself to relax. Brian strut past me like some macho super model, swung the chair around then laid his folded arms over the back of the chair. He jerked his head, coaxing me to come over to join them.

I rolled my eyes, and went to grab a folding chair that was next to the counter where the microwave was set on, and brought it over to where they were at, unfolded it, and sat down. Miranda nodded her head, smiling more. “Now that we’re all here, let’s start with the most obvious question. Whose idea was this?” She asked sincerely. Everyone’s arms all shot up to point at Brian. His upper half of his body twitched in the chair.

“Thanks a lot guys.” He chuckled. “Having my homies rat out on me isn’t very cool, you know.” He said eying us with a smirk.

Her smile got only wider and she giggled. Wait. She giggled?! ‘What’s going on here’ I thought to myself.

“Who’s going to cut the cake?” She asked. The smile stayed plastered on her face. Aaron, who normally did things pretty stiffly no matter what, unfolded one arm to bend over the table to pick up the plastic cake knife, and Brian quickly maneuvered to take the cover off the cake. Nicole took the opportunity to grab one of the party hats, pulling the string as far as it would go to place it on Aaron’s head as he dug the knife into the cake.

He repeated this action, and to say the least, I was quite envious of how each piece was evenly sliced. His index and middle finger stayed on the slice and the knife was wedged underneath so he could lift it, gliding it over to Miranda’s plate first. When we all each had a slice on our plates, Jody got up, almost tripping on what appeared to be nothing, to walk toward the fridge, and pulled out the ice cream.

Miranda beamed as the tub was set down next to the cake. As if a light bulb went off in Jody’s head, she had to turn herself back around to open one of the drawers to grab an ice cream scooper and laid it on the table. It seemed like Jody was waiting for Miranda’s consent.

“Go right ahead.” Miranda encouraged. Jody nodded and opened it, and set the top to the side. Her other hand moved to pick up the ice cream scoop again, and curved it around until a lopsided dollop filled the inside. She placed it on Miranda’s plate first since she had held it out first. Everyone else soon followed until all of us were sitting awkwardly around the table with cake and ice cream melting fast with all this heated tension.

I didn’t bother to eat any of it. Afraid she might have poisoned it before we entered the break room. Sure, you may say I was being overly paranoid and, at this particular moment, I would agree with you. Would it stop me from thinking higher-ups were after me? No. Blame that on too many late night crime dramas.

Nicole however, broke the ice or, frankly, took the first bite out of her ice cream. Jody and the rest soon followed. If I were considered the leader, which on most days, I was, then that would make Nicole the Shadow Queen. Although she is nice, she can be frightening if you piss her off.

Miranda eyes flickered over at me, a frown forming on her features. “What’s wrong?” She asked with a hint of worry. I tried not to narrow my eyes in order for them not to glaze over when I am about to tell a lie. To most, they would consider I am just thinking way too hard for an answer. Something I prided myself in people to believing after many years realizing it could benefit me.

She just thought I didn’t hear her and asked again, “What’s wrong? Do you not like the cake?” I shook my head then replied back. “I just don’t have an appetite for these sorts of things in early morning.” She nodded then proceeded to take another bite of her cake until a rumbling came from my stomach, giving away that I so hungered for some sweets in my belly.