This is just something I had a little fun with. I just wanted to try my hand writing an action scene. Be brutally honest with any critiques, I am looking for constructive criticism. I would like to improve my work, so don't be afraid to point out things you don't like.

Soundless


I awoke sharply from an abrupt noise. I wasn't startled, I had been expecting this. I had grown careless and now I was about to pay for it. I threw my covers off, the stinging sensation of cold biting my skin. I casually walked to my dresser and grabbed my 9mm. I grabbed the cold cartridge and it hissed at me as I slid it into place. I was gonna put up resistance, but I would of been a fool to think I could make it out alive.


I slid my feet across the soft floor and flung the door open. As I walked down the hall full of photos irrelevant to my past I counted my steps. Eight steps and then a right turn, seven more steps followed by a staircase on the left. Twelve stair steps to the bottom. A right corner around the stairs followed by another four steps until I saw them.


I was guessing they were well trained if they were sent after me. I began counting as my reflexes snapped into place. Step one, I processed the number of individuals on the first floor, five. I had assumed that some more of them were on the second floor as well, along with some outside. Step two, I began aiming at the first individual. They had just noticed me, luckily they seemed to have not brought automatic weapons with them. One of then however, brought a shotgun. Step Three, I pulled the lever of my 9mm. I had aimed at the upper body portion of the individual and it ripped him one in the chest. As, I had been trained to do. Step four, I began to round the curve as I let another shot scream out and land the second individual in the gut ("sloppy" I thought), while I got out of the way just in time to hear a bullet scream past my head.


I began up the steps, quickly they sank bellow my feet. By the ninth step two guys popped around the corner with shotguns. I assessed there possessions and let two shots rang out, two steps sank as this happened. I finished the last step and began another count. The first three were just fine, but by the fourth a .50 caliber round ripped past my head. I dived from a reflex and lost count of my steps. I estimated I dived about 3 steps.


I ran the last turn backwards. Second step, three guys rounded the turn with expectation of my position. They pointed they're silenced 9mm's at me. I flipped a light switch that released floodlights. I then did a backflip as a bullet bit me in the back. It was a pain I had felt before, I knew it had just nicked my flesh. I had flipped about two or three the steps. I drew my gun up and dropped both of them. I turned around and sprinted for the window, I dove through it and was expecting to land on a safety matt I had laying out there. Sadly, they had moved it. I thudded on the ground as a sharp pain ran up my back. "Careless!" I thought to myself for I didn't think of them moving the matt and I also was out of bullets. They then wrestled me into a submissive position with ease.


They drove me here, blindfolded. And here I am! I haven't spoken of anything, I know I am a threat to you guys, but not one you need to fret about! Just let me go! "I am sorry, but we can't do that." "From the story you told us, we can tell you have a very sharp memory." A cold loud bang let out, soundless to others far away.