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    Thread: Short Poem

    1. #1
      Member frozen_joth's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 2004
      I'm Not Sure

      Short Poem

      ummm... I decided i would post a poem I wrote. Tell me your honest opinons about it. If it sucks or is stupid, then tell me. If you like it then that's good too! Sorry but it has no title.

      Choke, Until I drown,
      Choke, Until I can't see,
      Choke, On my own iggnorance,
      Choke on morality,
      No one knows where it's begun,
      Desperate, To be happy,
      Desperate, To go away free,
      Desperate, To know what's right,
      Desperate to know of me,
      Desperate, To know where to search,
      Time will whisper messages to you,
      It's rocked back and forth,
      Only one place to escape,
      Only one place to go,
      Only one way to get there,
      Asleep, In a warm thought........

      This is actually one of my worst poems. Just it's the most recent. Tell me what you think of it.......

      Are we dreaming?

    2. #2
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 2003
      LD Count
      a lot
      inside you
      hmm...I kinda like it actually..I like the flow, the way you used one word at the beginning in several lines, don't believe I've ever seen that in a poem. very neat, I like it~

      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.


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