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    Thread: Mist-flower

    1. #1
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      Well, after I give this presentation today, it should be smooth sailing thorough school for the next week and a half. Anyway, if anyone wanted to read it, I'll post both the English and Russian translations... and if you really want, I can post my analysis/presentation.... though maybe I should finish it before class. I got up at 4:30am to finish it. Kids, don't procrastinate!

      It probably has several grammatical errors, but meh... Enjoy!

      ***

      “You are a soul;
      you have a body.”

      -C.S. Lewis


      I hide in a flower
      with petals of mist.
      I live alone,
      safe within it,
      but now I find little satisfaction...

      Sometimes one or more lights
      approaches
      and, as the dawn,
      causes the mist to clear,
      exposing me.

      Sometimes I don't like what I see:
      It is painfully bright,
      oppressively full and busy.
      I cause the air to turn cold
      to return my shroud of security,
      denser than before.

      Sometimes ice forms as mirrors along the petals,
      trapping me within my flower.
      I must melt or break the ice,
      bypassing the mist,
      in order to see clearly.

      Sometimes I become warmer;
      the mist dissipates,
      but I still can not see beyond my own flower.

      I see the flowers around me –
      some young, some short,
      some tall, straight, and leafy,
      some mature and bent.

      On rare occasions I permit
      another flower to draw close
      and see a part of my own...
      but never all.
      With some I create mist or mirrors
      with which to guard myself.

      Every flower is different
      and pleases the Gardener.
      It is He who tends to the flowers –
      He makes them grow,
      He removes the dead,
      He heals the diseased.
      All hail the Gardener!

      ---------------------------------------------------------------------
      “Вы душа;
      у вас есть тело.”

      -К.С. Левис

      Я прятаюсь в цвете
      с лепестками дымки.
      Я живу одна,
      в неё безопасная,
      но сейчас я нахожу мало удовлетворение...

      Иногда свет или светы
      доходит
      и, как рассвет,
      являются рассеиватся дымку
      раскрывая мне.

      Иногда я не люблю, что я вижу -
      мучително-яркий,
      гнетушо-полный, шумный.
      Я являю водух стать холодном,
      чтобы возвращать мой саван безопасности,
      густее чем предже.

      Иногда лёд образовывает зеркали по лепестка,
      запирая мне в моей цвете.
      Я должна маять или разбивать льду,
      объезжать дымку,
      чтобы видеть ясно.

      Иногда я становлюсь теплее;
      дымка рассеивается,
      но я ещё не могу видеть за своей цветой.


      Я вижу цветы вокруг меня –
      некоторые молодые, некоторые невысокие,
      некоторые высокие, прямые, и покрытые,
      некоторые зрелые и погнутые.

      На редкие события я позволяю,
      что другая цвета доходит близко,
      чтобы видеть частю моей цветы...
      но не всё.
      С некоторами, я делаю дымку или зеркала,
      с которами храниться.

      Каждая цвета другая
      и приятная Садовод.
      Это Он, который ухаживает за цветами -
      Он являет расти их,
      Он убирает мёртвые,
      Он излечивает больные.
      превозноситесь Садовода!

      "If there was one thing the lucid dreaming ninja writer could not stand, it was used car salesmen."

    2. #2
      Crazy Cat Lady Burns's Avatar
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      Cool poem, Ame I'd also love to read your analysis and presentation for it.

      And even though it looks like an extraterrestrial language, it looks so pretty in Russian!

    3. #3
      The 'stache TweaK's Avatar
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      It looks evil. Like it's language coming straight out of Mordor. o_O

    4. #4
      Wanderer Merlock's Avatar
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      Great work all in all, very creative.

    5. #5
      Fear 47 skuruza's Avatar
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      awesome poem, but a couple of grammermistakes in the russian.

      id say this is amazing for a non native russian speaker!

      prekrasno!


      Am I crazy?

    6. #6
      Member Like A Bird Without Arms's Avatar
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      The Russian version was kind of difficult to understand at times.
      The premise behind it was pretty cool, though.

    7. #7
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      Quote Originally Posted by skuruza View Post
      awesome poem, but a couple of grammermistakes in the russian.

      id say this is amazing for a non native russian speaker!

      prekrasno!
      [/b]
      Spasibo, drug! I was fairly certain that there were mistakes and maybe someday I'll be able to catch them. (That's why I have the English) I'm hoping to spend a year in Russia after I graduate, so that'll give me some time to practice.

      "If there was one thing the lucid dreaming ninja writer could not stand, it was used car salesmen."

    8. #8
      Fear 47 skuruza's Avatar
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      cool!


      Am I crazy?

    9. #9
      Wanderer Merlock's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
      I'm hoping to spend a year in Russia after I graduate, so that'll give me some time to practice. [/b]
      Don't do it! That's insanity! Such a great and talented poet should never be exposed to this place of darkness and chaos.

      But either way, good luck on further creations.

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