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    1. 05-19-2004 12:17 PM #1
      Identity X
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      The Man and the Raven (Please someone reply! Say ANYTHING!)

      Repost because the topic it was in was getting no comment whatsoever whilst a child's scrawls always seem to get a mention:

      The Man and the Raven

      The man watched the raven
      with an eye as keen as his.
      It stood majestically in the square,
      robed in it's purple-black cloak.

      It's beak a sunrise crown
      scaled with ice,
      It shuddered slightly,
      the cold slipping away like
      a satin veil.

      He watched this king with envy,
      his own fingers had died
      adopting frost.
      Every night they savoured the last
      dying embers of a flickering midnight sun.

      The raven lowered his head to the ground,
      picking scraps from the stone.
      The man had long wished he could do the same,
      But he was a prisoner of morals
      that were no longer his.

      The raven caught the vagrant
      with a jewelled eye.
      The man wished it a way
      to escape the hunger that
      had caught him with
      equal suprise.

      And then the two scavengers left,
      one with wings stirring the bitter winter air,
      the other with feet like fists,
      burning snow with stale anger.
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    2. 05-20-2004 05:37 AM #2
      O'nus
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      Somehow seems incomplete, but otherwise well done. I get the impression either the raven or the man represent you (most likely the man). I'm not sure I understand the symbolism of the raven, exactly.

      I much prefer writing that is not restricted to rhyming schemes, so it was well done in my eyes.

      I was tempted to not say anything, because with what it says in the title, and in your signature, you almost make it seem like you write things for feedback alone.

      ~
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    3. 05-20-2004 11:34 AM #3
      Identity X
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      Thanks for giving in to my demands, O'nus.

      You hit it on the head their O'nus with the Man, and the Raven symbolises death (a tradition in England), the mans only escape from misery and confusion (just made that up now, the raven was there cos I like them, and their quite common in Blighty)

      Oh, and without feedback what knowledge do you wave that somone has actually read it?

      Topics I browse through I don't reply to. I only reply to topics I properly read.

      What makes you think it's incomplete. I'm intrigued
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    4. 05-22-2004 12:35 AM #4
      Umbrasquall
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      Do ravens always have a negative connotation attached? Poe's raven symbolized decay or something like that right?

      I like the piece Identity.
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