My World of Words

After quite a few weeks of requests and decisions, I have finally decided to take a shot at showing all you DV people my writing. I'm not a very experienced writer, so it won't be pro-written. Very good for my age, though, at least that's what I believe. Honest criticism is appreciated. But I don't want any rude comments.

My chapters are very long. 16 pages at the most, so I'll break these chapters into parts. This prologue will all go together, though. It isn't that long.

Prologue
MISSING - Alex and Ashley Vaandere. Two portraits hung side by side below the two names, a description beneath each picture. Ashley was in a dark alley, the moon shining above her, giving her all the light she needed to read the poster. It was an old alley, for the bricks around her had missing chunks and had lost their color.
Ashley stared at her own description curiously. 13 year old brunette, sister to Alex Vaandere. Height is 5'4'', has blue eyes and weighs about 138 lbs.
I weigh less than always thought. She mused. She looked over at her brother's description.
16 year old redhead, brother to Ashley Vaandere. He has brown eyes, height is 6'5'', and weighs about 158 lbs.
"He doesn't weigh as much as I thought, either." Ashley said aloud. "Well, I suppose people can't know I'm missing, right?"
As if in response, a flame spurted up began to burn the page, just disposing of her name as it suddenly went out. She bit her lip. This can't be good. She thought.
A hand rested on her shoulder, and a voice spoke, "Hello." Ashley noticed that he said it casually, as though he were meeting a normal person, and not the missing Ashley Vaandere.
She shrugged him off and quickly pulled up the hood on her dirty orange sweatshirt.
He was nearly a foot taller than her, with jet-black hair and black eyes. He wore a gray-black shirt and black pants. He was pale, though he had a kind smile.
Ashley nervously tried to joke, "Are you going to a funeral, Mister?"
The man chuckled. "No, I'm not." He held his hand out and stated, "My name is Fortune."
She unsurely rested her hand in his palm and shook. "I'm, uh..." She pulled her hand away and tightened her hood a little bit. Fortune wandered over to the poster, then looked at her.
"This picture looks a lot like you." he said absent-mindedly. "Have you ever heard of the Elemental Warriors?"
Baffled, Ashley answered, "No. I'm sure it's really interesting and all, but I really need to get going." She began to walk away, but then Fortune clutched her wrist. Immediately apprehensive, she pulled away swiftly and asked, "What do you want?"
Fortune suddenly had a dark sense to him. His smile disappeared and he glared at her ominously. In a slightly different tone of voice, he answered, "You." He came closer to you, an evil grin spreading over his face. Ashley slid down the wall like a cornered animal.
"I know all about you, flame warrior," He said. "You despair of never finding Alex. You're afraid someone is going to get in your way and you might accidentally hurt someone. You're worried you're going to hurt someone with your element! You know, we can help you with that. We can help you get control over it." He began to raise his voice.
"How do you know about that?" Ashley blared.
Fortune merely laughed. Then he said, "Ashley, you aren't alone in that situation. Come with me, and you will see what I mean." He extended his hand. "We might even find Alex along the way."
Ashley stood up, suddenly enraged. "I'll find him myself. I guess you think you can confuse me by saying a lot of random stuff."
Ignoring her comment, Fortune paced, breathing heavily. He calmed down and, after a minute or two, asked, "How will you do it?"
"I'll find a way." She retorted.
"You idiot! You're going to need help. You're getting headstrong, thinking your fire will save you in any situation, but that will only hold you back!" He said, trying to remain calm. The dark sense disappeared, but he was still angry and frustrated.
"Watch me." Ashley challenged.
He growled in rage and suddenly became shrouded in a black cloud.
Frightened, Ashley noticed there was a ball of fire bouncing up and down in her hand, burning her palm. Swearing loudly, she threw it at Fortune. He yelled as his shirt caught fire.
Taking the opportunity, Ashley ran like the wind, out of the alley and into the unknown.

great stuff!! did you think of those elemental warriors? thats a great idea I really like it.....im gonna be annoying and demand more!! :P

What makes this even better is that you say your 12....I probably couldnt write like that ever and im 23 lol

Yep. Every little thing.

Chapter 1 - On the Run Rescues
PART 1
Nearly two months ago had been when Ashley encountered Fortune, and yet two words still confused her: Flame warrior. What was that supposed to mean? She also wondered why Fortune had become so angry, like he had a split personality. She liked to act for herself, but he didn't have to blow up
Ashley sat down in a clearing. Bushes surrounded her, either small or huge. She looked up at the sky. As usual at this time, it was sparkling beautifully with the stars, and the moon was half full, lighting up the clearing with silver light.
She was all alone, except for her fire. Also about two months ago, before she had left home, she had noticed something peculiar: Whenever she was angry, upset, or excited, there seemed to be a fire somewhere nearby, as if they responded to her emotions. She thought of it as a coincidence until a candle once lit by itself, and Ashley knew why: She was excited for the coming day, her thirteenth birthday. Her birthday had been utterly amazing and fun, until Alex suddenly disappeared, ruining her day. The hurt had gnawed on her heart until her whole house nearly caught fire.
She knew it had been all her fault. That was when she decided to leave about a month later. She couldn't control herself. She didn't want to believe it, but she knew that she couldn't hide her emotions from herself.
After a week, at her bedtime, she gave her parents all the love she could with out explaining why. Then, after gathering some food and water, she rested until 1:00am. She then snuck out of her window, leaving a note. Ashley still remembered the exact words:
Don't worry about me. I'm off to find Alex. I'll come back with him, I swear. I love you more than you can ever imagine. Ashley V.
Ashley had signed it as neatly as possible, trying to match her mother's handwriting. Then she ran out of town. It was so dark, she couldn't even see, when a fire suddenly lit. That had terrified her so much, but then, she knew: She could control it. As long as her flames were here, there was nothing to worry about. She soon adapted to it.
One month later had been when she came across Fortune, making a total of three months away from home, without any success. She shuddered at the memory of Fortune's black, impassive eyes.
Ever since she had run away, she had searched for her brother and learned how to use her fire. After a while, she had noticed that sometimes the flames moved a certain way. As if they were dancing. Ashley eventually joined in every time they moved that way. They made her happy, and created her own motto: Think positive.
Ashley stood back up and yawned. It was probably about 11:00pm. She had to keep moving or risk being found - by anything. Looking up at the stars once more, she began to run.
Within a few minutes, she was sweating, her heart was pumping with confidence, and it sent her spirits soaring. Ashley would find Alex, she knew it. If she set her goal in advance and kept at this the way she was now, Ashley would find her brother. With all of this confidence and spirit, she would have to find him. Panting, she skidded to a stop and examined her surroundings.
It was chilly, maybe about 55 degrees. Tall oak trees surrounded her, the moon shine its pale light on them, making the leaves turn a sliver-green. An owl hooted, and in thje distance a wolf holed. The wind blew past, bringing the scent of rain with it, making the trees sway with the gentle breeze. Ashley could tell it had rained earlier. Oh, Ashley loved the work of Mother Nature, making everything so beautiful with her touch.
After catching her breath, she began to jog. It was a peaceful night. Ashley stopped and searched for a place to rest. She could make a tent out of tree limbs, but she needed a suitable place to put it. There was also a certain tree that was required for it.
She swatted away a mosquito and looked around. Her eyes stopped at a bush. A raspberry bush?
Holding one under the moonlight and smashing it open confirmed her thoughs: It was a raspberry, not a yew berry. Their texture was wet, smooth, and slick, telling Ashley it had rained about 10 minutes ago. She plucked one and put it in her mouth, and slowly chewed, hoping she wasn't mistaken. Recognizing the tangy-sweet taste, she realized how hungry she really was.
Checking the surroundings, Ashley nodded to herself. She could set up her tent here. Now all she had to find was the tree.

great! :bowdown: another intriguing chapter there...I find myself captivated. I hope you post some more SadieM :)

Underage b&..?