ive been working on this book for quite some time, and im very proud of it.
any and all criticism is welcome! enjoy.
-story of a dream-
"I wake up.
-1-
I get out of bed and brush my teeth. while getting ready for school i eat my breakfast.
I walk out my door when a dragon stops me and says "what are you doing?"
"i am going to school" i say.
"in your underwear?" the dragon remarks.
i look down and think just how embarrassing it would have been to walk into school with no pants on. "that wasn't really what was going to happen, i just told you and you thought it." the dragon said cryptically
"what was going to happen?" i asked.
"take a look" said the dragon waving his arm past my yard
there was nothing past my sidewalk.
i then remembered a dream just like this i had been having lately where i
fall continuously off the side of my house.
"so what are you going to do now?" the dragon inquired.
"well i was going to school," i then say proudly "and im going to!"
so i do.
-2-
in school the dragon follows me and says "are you not still in your undies?"
"no" quickly looking down to make sure it hadn't tricked me again. "im not."
inside of school this teacher i hate comes up to me and says
"kids these days running around with no decent clothes on, my word! it will be
the end of civilization!"
so i reply, in the same overly confident tone i use when my friends are around
"yeah right, im not gonna fall for that stupid trick".
my teacher is appalled that i have pants on, and walks off grumpily.
"that was great!" the dragon comments happily. "you're stupid but learn quickly! uh-oh..."
"what do you mean im stupid!?" i blurt out, extremely offended.
"im perfectly smart! didn't you see me tell off that idiot teacher?!"
"im a dragon."
-3-
"what?...."
"I Am A Dragon."
"no your not"
"why not?"
"because dragons aren't real."
"why not?"
"because no one ever found any proof of any dragon! dead or alive!"
"and yet im here."
"are you real then?"
"are 'YOU' real?"
i think about it and am not exactly sure...
so i do the most stereotypical thing i could think of.
i pinch myself.
i don't think it hurt.
i put 2 and 2 together.
im dreaming.
Ive got to wake up! gotta wake up!
...floating...nothing...light...
-4-
"hollld on there buddy." the dragon says.
somehow i feel very awake, and aware,
"wow im asleep! in a dream! why do i feel so different? is that a bubble around me? what can i do in a dream? is that dragon my conscience or something stupid like that? why cant i wake myself up? why haven't i noticed that he is a FREAKING DRAGON!?
alright, the dragon is signaling for me to calm down. maybe he knows more than i do."
he pops the bubble but the bubble without a noise or splash.
"all right, now that your listening i can explain more
1. you ARE dreaming
2. while you are in the bubble i cannot hear you.
3. while you are in the bubble you cannot hear anything but yourself.
4. you cannot manipulate objects while inside the bubble.
5. you ca-"
"i can manipulate stuff!?" i ask eagerly.
the dragon sighs and tells me to shut up for now.
5. you cannot wake up while in the bubb-
i immediately try to wake up but im already in the bubble again.
the dragon sighs and slowly writes in golden letters, "THAT IS WHY YOU ARE STUPID" in the air with his claw.
"YOU CAN SIT THERE FOR A WHILE IF YOU WANT". the messages quickly fade away as the dragon walks away.
-5-
im in the bubble and im anything but bored.
"i still don't think im stupid, i can manipulate things? who is the dragon? what is this bubble? too many questions, am i awake or what? why didn't i notice the dragon before? when i went to school did i walk? how did i get to school?
all these questions... can i think 'worse' in the bubble? maybe 'better'?
all right the dragons coming back, be calm. be calm."
"OK what are you going to do?" the dragon asks as he releases me from the bubble
"i am going" i say calmly "to ask a couple questions"
"absolutely,"
"how do i manipulate things?" i bluntly blurt.
"im going to explain that soon."
"how about you? "what are you"?
"im a dragon" "duh"
"yeah, bu-"
"have you ever seen a cartoon where there is a devil and a angel on peoples shoulder?"
"of course."
"thats me."
the angel or the devil?
"yes."
i stare at him with a look that hopefully said make up your mind!
"all right, can i explain now?" asks the patient dragon.
"...all right."
"will you interrupt?"
"...no..."
"all right then!" he yells, shooting off into the sky.
-6-
"where are you going!?" i ask as he flys away
in response he says "where are 'YOU' going?"
"well your flying away!"
"and yet im right here beside you" quite matter of factly.
i then realize im next to him while he flys about ten thousand feet in the air.
AAAAAAAH! i slip and start falling down past the dragon
i immediately stop, there is a bubble around me.
im floating above the clouds looking down at the world.
in a bubble.
a purple bubble no less.
i know the dragon put me in this bubble but how did i get up here in the first place?
had the dragon taken me? had i flown? had i been teleported up here?
i am waiting for the dragon to come back.
and while i wait i think about manipulation.
not doing any thing of it.
but the word itself.
whose dream was this? mine? the dragons? someone else's?
then i think, is the dragon god? of course not, i think.
an hour later the dragon still hasn't come back.
if i was flying, which i thought i was then could i do other things?
could i do what i wanted? it was my dream.
so the dragons not coming back any time soon.
lets try it.
fly!
-7-
nothing happens.
i swear under my breath, i was positive this would work.
the dragons coming back, i try to display as much impatience as i can,
"well, did you try? says the dragon unexcited. while removing the bubble.
"try what?" i try to look as un-flying like as possible.
"do you want to go back in the bubble?" the dragon has no friendly features as of now.
"do you mean try to fly?" i ask as if that was the most insane thing in the world.
i could tell he was going to put me in the bubble so i tried telling the truth.
"yeah i guess i did try to fly."
"but why and how do you know?" i replayed that conversation in my head.
it dint sound quite right but the dragon made sense of it anyways.
"because you flew beside me earlier and it is imperative that you learn to manipulate the world."
this time it didn't sound exactly like manipulate, but it was understandable.
"why do you say manipulate all the time?"
"it is for lack of a better word."
i could not think of a better word than control,
but he just laughed quietly when he heard that.
"do you know why you could not fly?"
with this the dragon surprised me with an impressive display of scales, and talons, and teeth.
"because it didn't work, thats why,"
"do you remember the rules i had laid down a while back?"
i did remember some rules but none that said i was not allowed to fly,
"yeah, sorta."
the dragon then said quite matter of factly "then you will remember rule number 4
which states that you cannot manipulate anything while inside the bubble,"
i was flabbergasted that i had not remembered that,
i didn't know what to do next, were there more questions in my head?
the dragon could tell there was an awkward silence,
"so try again" said the dragon.
i was yet again in shock, "my brain is NOT functioning properly" i said out loud.
so i try yet again, and to my amazement, it works!
-8-
amazing!
the only word that could come close to what i was feeling!
i was flying arms outstretched and looking down as if in a airplane,
there was not a thing that could bring me down.
i had tried flying when younger after reading a Calvin and Hobbes comic,
all i got were scrapes and bruises, but not now not ever would my feet touch the ground.
there were many kinds of flight i experimented with,
i tried flying like superman with one arm outstretched,
i tried flying in various poses like, feet first, and laying down,
the dragon was down on the ground the entire time, i wondered why he did not enjoy
flying all the time.
as i pitied him he flew up with me and reminded the reason i could fly,
he said "you are in a dream" he said as if he knew how much i loved flying.
"and because you are in your own dream you can do much more than just fly"
i was so blown away by being able to fly, i completely forgot that interesting bit of information.
but what could i do? i could think of nothing.
the dragon heard me pause and suggested "don't you have a computer game you like?"
i knew which game he was talking about, it was like world of war craft or ever quest.
why couldn't i remember its name?
something clicked, what could i do even in the game?
would i play?
that would be boring compared to flying.
all these thoughts came almost immediately but even so the dragon
somehow knew what i was thinking.
i could tell.
the game you play is viewed from an overhead view
it does not have the best graphics i the world.
it has several glitches that mess the game up.
fix them.
"but how would i get to my ga-
but i was quickly cut off by my own stupidity/brilliantness.
-9-
i start off at the menu where i hit start online play and it starts loading the level.
i can see the screen but nothing else.
the dragon notes "why is it loading?"
i laugh at the computer as it skips the three minute loading process
i choose my character and head of to the forest of thieves at breakneck speeds never available
to me or anyone else in the game.
i think about the time it takes to level up.
i could cheat.
but i wont, I'll just make myself one level higher.
i zone in on the boss of this section and hit him with all my best attacks.
taking enormous damage the creature recoils and charges at me.
i panic and dive out of the way, my major special attacks are gone but i can still
manually sword attack.
we gradually pick at each others life until my opponent falls.
the dragon interludes and says "impressive display but its time to get to
a different scenario."
i follow him somewhere out of the game while i explain my encounter
with the beast.
we land or fly into or get to some kind of wood.
"do you know your fairy tales?"
"sorta, what kind?"
"lets say Little Red Riding Hood?."
"of course i know little red riding hood."
i didn't think it was much of a fairy tale though.
"good, then i want you to make the story follow along as it should,
but at the end find a creative way to mess the entire story up.
can you do that for me?" the dragon requested.
i knew i could screw around with anything in my dream, but the problem was the
creative part.
"sure i can do that easy."
"all right then" and with that the dragon dissapates
-where the chapters lose their numbers-
as i predicted little red riding hood came walking down the path.
in the background there was a cottage that she had come from.
and far ahead of her was a grand mansion with many butlers.
"wait" i thought to myself.
in the story i was taught the grandmother lived in a cottage not unlike like little red riding hoods house.
at least in the pictures she did.
i had to give a bit of a push and tell myself i was still dreaming but i changed the mansion into a small cottage.
it was just about time for little red riding hood to forget the warning of staying on the trail.
and as predicted she started picking flowers.
but they weren't roses or daises or even bluebells.
nope, she picked thistles.
and all the while she sang a tune that rhymed to me and her when not closely inspected.
~pretty flowers pretty flowers
i am picking some pretty flowers
for my grandma-ma
pretty pretty flowers~
thistles.
not as hard a push was needed to change this blatant mistake.
as little red riding hood was nearing where the wolf was the wolf popped out on to the road predictably, and said,
"where are you going little girl?"
"im going to my grandmothers house!" little red riding hood exclaimed as if a six foot tall salivating
wolf had not just jumped out in the middle of the road.
in an almost mock high squeaky voice the wolf says "and im going to my daddy's house!"
i stare in shock, he was serious.
i am not sure how im going to fix this one, but ill try.
i sat and thought for a while when the idea came to me,
rewind! thats what ill do,
its not the easiest thing to do in the dream/fairy tale world that im in.
but it works and it has the backwards motion of everything like in a movie,
pausing is just as hard but i manage it.
"whats a creative way to do this?" i said aloud to myself.
i sat a while while everything was paused, and it took a while but i got it.
i re-wired the wolfs brain to be more or less hungry.
im not sure why i did it but i think it might have helped me,
i made a belt that looked like VCR or DVD controls, as in it had the rewind button,
the fast forward, the pause and stop and play.
it was Grey and very light.
it seemed to make it just that more believable for me to go back and forth through time.
i stare at my belt and look at the buttons and think what it would be like to fast forward
i do what anyone would have done in my place, i pressed the button.
-nothing could describe the felling-
it was as i thought. it was bendable and still, yet soft and solid.
besides being total opposites it was almost pleasant, so pleasant that i almost lost
track of the time.
i then thought to myself can you lose track of time while time traveling?
much less while in a dream?
am i dreaming?
or is this real?
if its real how do i know?
are aliens playing with the world as if it were a game of chess?
again the word didn't sound like it was supposed to.
aliens/extra-terrestrial/other beings they all seemed to jumble together.
a fog.
a strange fog comes over the world, my surroundings, and me.
blackness.
-when wisdom is lost-
at my friend Chris's house i went up in his staircase, i go up about three stories of stairs,
when i get to the top i see his room split into two sides.
on one side the walls are pink and many girly things, and on the other side lots of blue and black are on the walls.
he points to the left side of the room and says "thats my half"
he then points to the right side of the room and rather disappointedly "and that mess is my sister's half"
i heard an accent on "that".
we go on to another part of the room where a giant slide is located,
"i thought we weren't supposed to be here" i said.
without responding he pushed me down the slide and i fell, i didn't slide down, i fell down its inky blackness.
just falling faster and faster and faster until the slide finally opened up into light.
where at the bottom a dragon was seeming to wait for something
"should i spell it out for you again?" the dragon said.
what are you talking about? i asked.
"you are dreaming!"
nearly before he began to say it i thought to myself shouldn't i wake up?
-anger took control-
in a purple bubble im slamming myself into the walls and trying anything possible to wake up
i scream to myself "wake up!" "WAKE UP!"
the dragon has been circling the bubble as i do this to myself.
"LET ME WAKE UP" i scream to the dragon, all the while knowing im doing
nothing to help myself.
he cant hear me. no one can.
am i in an asylum?
i question my sanity in thought and in speech.
i try and recall everything and everything i ever learned about dreaming,
i knew if you pinched yourself it didn't hurt as proved before, but that led to a different question.
why was my head hurting from hitting it on the bubble?
i had deemed the dragon evil for making me endure such pain.
he had written nothing from the time in my "REAL" dream up to now,
and he certainly didn't look like he was going to anytime soon.
i was panting as if i had run a marathon.
but my mind was what was running.
if i could fly, if i could do anything, or "manipulate things" as the dragon said,
could i not get myself out of a simple bubble?
if i tried would i fall?
i was, after all floating about five hundred feet above my previous dream.
i had also figured out that i have had the dream about Chris before.
i didn't even know anyone named Chris
if i popped the bubble could i fly?
i could fly before, i should be able to fly now.
so i will. i will pop the bubble.
it made an odd unrealistic swishing noise as if a large wind had blown through the trees.
but what was strange, stranger of course than being in a dream.
the dragon "popped in the same way the bubble did,
and he did so with a strange grimace on his face.
and i was alone.
-the newfound brilliance of my dream-
i was alone.
i was floating, i could have flown, but no.
i was alone.
i now missed the clarity of the bubble, i had thought so much clearer in it.
i willed myself softly to the ground, on the ground i thought of my anger inside the bubble.
i looked at my scar i had had since the second grade.
i had wished many times to get rid of it, and now i realized i could.
i was in a dream, i could do anything, but what to do?
i thought of inspiration, i thought of the Greek word for inspiration
muse.
i could do anything, so why not summon my muse to give me ideas?
thats what they were supposed to have done.
i summon my thought and pull together a muse, of some sorts.
it was pretty much what i thought a muse might look like.
i had summoned it for a reason so i was going to use it, or her, whatever.
"give me INSPERATION!" i yelled at it.
i thought it was comical, and apparently so did she, i started sweating profusely
it began to get unfunny but i got an idea.
an ocean, preferably not made of sweat
an ocean, where to put it?
"why not put it everywhere?" the muse suggested.
"sure, why not", my voice sounded weak from my yelling.
an ocean started pouring from an inviable faucet high above me, and with it all the fish and
whales and underwater plants i could think of.
a bathing suit was all that was needed, so i picked one up from what was now a beach and cannonballed in.
it was nice and warm, unlike the time i had had a nightmare about drowning.
i pushed the thought from my mind before it became a reality in itself.
thinking of the little mermaid i called two dolphins and jumped up on them.
they were slippery but i avoided that and skied on them, a nice breeze went through my
hair as i skillfully drove the dolphins.
the dolphins seemed to be enjoying the ride as much as i was.
like a conductor waves her baton i waved my arms and willed fish out.
dancing in and out of the water.
gradually i pushed larger and larger fish out of the water until i found a great blue whale, proudly showing off,
the whale jumped majestically into the air and seemed to fly for several seconds,
time seemed to slow down and water droplets swam in the water and air alike.
the splash was the biggest. anywhere.
the wave spanned over a thousand feet,
instinctively i pulled a surf board out of my back pocket, shoved it under my feet and rode the
wave until it seemed i could touch the moon if i went any higher.
out of many Hawaiian surfers i was best.
out of the fish in the sea i was prime.
out of any of the clouds in the sky i was highest.
brilliant.
i wasn't sure i this was better than flying or not.
flying, the surfboard morphed into a over sized kite. i jumped on top of it and flew with the gulls and pelicans.
-yin-yang-
i wasn't dreaming.
there was no way i was dreaming, it was all to vivid.
if this was dreaming then i never want to wake up.
never.
i could do anything
the dragon, the pitiful thing he was.
he underestimated everything here, he probably could have indulged himself in this as well as i could.
i was thinking this as if he was gone, but he was "wasn't he?"
i said the last phrase aloud as if something or someone would answer.
the dragon had said he was my con-
unexplainably and within half a second, my body laying on the sand in front of a beach split into two parts,
i was seeing double.
one of me was somewhat darker than the other who was somehow cleaner.
at this point i realized i was seeing this from above.
one looked a bit happier than the other, i could not for the life of me tell which.
they were on separate sides of the beach, but the beach was connected.
nothing else was split like me.
all these were little details compared to what they were trying to do.
they were, or, i was, trying to convince the other to wake up.
but of course for different reasons,
the clean one was saying, "this is against everything you stand for! its bad. your playing god here,
because you can do anything your trying to impersonate god!"
this startled me as i hadn't thought of religion the entire dream.
the darker side was saying "you can do nothing here, its all fake! you cant do anything here,
you will never really get what you want. it will never become real"
this was just my conscience speaking. and like my previous embodiment of my conscience i sent them on there way,
squabbling as if i was still there.
walking down the beach peacefully was nice.
it was very nice,there was no trash, there were no other people, there were no dead fish. and no land to connect it to.
eventually i got bored with the beach and called back my muse.
although it was funny i didn't want a repeat of the ocean so i selected my words carefully.
im bored.
i realize now that i probably could have chosen a better muse.
comically i became a board of wood.
i was getting tired of the bad puns so i said with a straight face to the muse
"give me something to do without turning it into a pun"
she turned me back into a human and handed me a large sword, turned me around and dissipated
-a flood of ideas-
there was no more beach, only a deserted landscape of city.
it gave me a creepy feeling although with my sword in hand i trudged forward
through the mud on the broken road.
there was a chill in the air that reminded me of a bad zombie movie.
and thats when it clicked, zombies, that must be what the sword was for,
my muse has some great ideas. but i didn't have much time to think about that,
as there were dead corpses rising from underneath the road, it couldn't have been very hard,
it looked like the road would collapse if it weren't for the dirt beneath it.
i was taking out zombies faster than i could count, but the sword was so long and awkward,
so i threw it away down the road, it hit two zombies with its hilt on its way,
fist fighting was much more comfortable,
and because my hands had fingerless gloves on so they didn't hurt at all.
but the zombies were surrounding me and i couldn't take them out fast enough,
so i stretched out my arm and urged the sword to come to me, it came speeding through several zombies when it came,
the following sequence of movements happened in less than ten seconds.
i grabbed the sword and did a Zelda type move swirling around hitting about twenty zombies,
the weight of the sword was now my advantage,
i did a quick flourish, it moved very quickly although it was a clunky and awkward sword. synonymously
with the flourish i stab it into the ground.
i hop on top of its large hilt and sit like a frog.
i meditate for exactly three seconds shown by a timer in the corner.
at the end of that timer i jump off the sword and fling my arms open and yell a yell that shakes the
ears of everyone, everywhere
i hit the ground with my fist causing a ripple in the ground.
the land becomes my putty, i shape the road into an enormous net and scoop up all the zombies,
they are all there but, i ask myself, "what to do with them?"
so i talk to a clone of myself.
"what should i do?"
"get creative"
"im not very creative"
"nor am i"
"you or me?"
"gah, im confused, lets just use fire."
"good idea"
"thank you"
i un-summon my clone and light the pile of zombies on fire.
they didn't burn very quickly so i went Emeril laggasse style on them,
throwing my arms down from above my head i said "BAM!"
and with that a meteor twice the size of the jumble of zombies appears and smashes them with a terrible
combination of the sounds
"BOOM-CRASH-pKUMP" and many others.
in short, the zombies lost.
-when it becomes clear-
just sitting on the road, just thinking. what else can i do?
i cant think of anything to do that i haven't done already, so lets do something Ive already done.
flying was fun, lets do that.
how did i fly last time?
the dragon tricked me, thats how i flew.
my stomach is sick with the thought of the dragon.
something else.
ill test some things, i want to see how real this dream is.
i feel a tree, it dosnt feel, it just is.
i can do what i want with it, i can rip off the bark, i can see that it looks like bacon, i can turn it into bacon,
i can throw the bacon to the floor, and the birds will eat the bacon.
because thats the way it is in real life.
but why should this world be a mirror of real life?
this world should be its own!
and to think, if i wake up, it all goes poof.
well i for one am NOT waking up.
but, could i wake up if i wanted to?
i wasn't thinking very clearly anymore so i try and regain vividness.
that was what went through my head but i didn't know how i was going to do it.
i went through it step by step, i had no idea what those steps were.
so i just thought "i need to reassure myself that im dreaming".
i then did what removed several problems i had.
i was no longer trying to figure out what to do.
and i definitely no longer trying reinstate that i was dreaming.
im floating about two feet off the ground.
im not shocked, probably because i have done it before.
so i am dreaming. or something close.
i am now floating around in the air, laying down with my legs crossed.
the weightlessness was extremely enjoyable.
but i was here to think, i was not getting out of this world anytime soon.
by choice or by chance.
i then had a very strong feeling,
it was a strange kind of boredom.
i wanted a friend, a comrade, a companion.
how could i make a friend appear?
the closest thing i had had was...
i sighed. my mind had brought me full circle to thinking about the dragon.
what had he done?
he hadn't done much.
i had deemed him evil because he had scared me,
probably not on purpose either.
i was lonely,
compulsively i yell out "I FORGIVE YOU DRAGON!"
i hear this response "do you forgive yourself?"
-clarity becomes fog-
many times here words blended together.
the dragon comes out of my/me/i and repeats itself, "do you forgive yourself?"
im standing in shock not because it/a dragon just jumped out of my chest,
but because i had defeated/banished/poofed the dragon.
"should i just leave? do you forgive yourself? im not going to say it a fourth time."
"how in the world can i forgive myself?" i asked calmly as possible, which wasn't calm at all.
"you may have already guessed it, but i
am your conscience/sub-conscience/you."
-loneliness isn't really an issue-
i just sighed and sat down.
the dragon then said "you have done a great job of lucid dreaming already, but i need to help if your going to get better,
what are you sitting on?"
as soon as i looked down, i noticed everything which was in and of itself, nothing.
not just a blank piece of paper, but also a black hole.
before and after i noticed it it changed into, something.
the something changed into a lush forest, a nice and peaceful clearing.
i was sitting on a stump of wood in a clearing in the forest.
these thoughts/actions/becomings happened very slow and very fast at the same time.
despite all the contradicting and oxymoronic happenings i understood all of it perfectly.
the dragon knew it had happened, after all he was me, as he had said earlier.
I/me/myself/the dragon/my conscience/my brain were one. and more.
and we were all present.
-all becomes I, and I become all-
I already knew all these things and i was amazed i was not boggled by them.
I knew lucidity was the knowledge that you were dreaming while in a dream.
I knew i had heard about it from a friend who liked dreams.
I knew there was no sound smell taste or feeling in the dream.
I knew there was only perception.
I knew perception was a reality in my dream.
I knew the myth that claimed "if you die in a dream you die in real life" was false.
I knew that all i had ever known in real life was at my disposal in this dream.
I knew you remember everything you ever hear.
I knew the myth "we humans use less than ten percent of our brain" was false.
I knew that 93% of brain is used for sub-conscience memories.
I knew the dragon was just a clever way my mind had put itself into that form.
I knew that i could see the clock from my bed and the current time was 2:19.
I knew i was extremely conscious of all parts of my body.
I knew i had put myself in the purple bubble for the length of all these statements.
I knew the readers of the book i would put this in, would find it extremely dull to read through all of these 18 “I knews”.
I knew i could do anything i wanted while in this state.
I knew that i would forget every single one of these facts when i woke up.
when i woke up?
was i waking up now?
-when sleep is lost-
weightless...
i was going to wake up, i could tel.
darkness...
i needed to come back, i have to remember how.
nothingness...
"PURPLE BUBBLE!!!"
i scream it aloud in my sleep, while in the bubble my mind is racing furiously.
my parent/mom/dad will have probably heard that.
they/him/her might have woken up, and if they wake me up...
i needed to do/see/learn more about this dream/world.
it was arresting hearing many words at once, it was slightly confusing but more informative than anything else.
im calming down but the answer to this question escapes me: what is the purple bubble?
the dragon/sub-conscience and me are myself/I, and everything else is my imagination.
what is the bubble? im in it so what better place to learn about it?
i feel it, its hard, and cold to the touch.
i needed to concentrate.
eastern monks often sit and meditate to gain concentration.
i imitate a monk from a picture/movie i had seen, i sat cross-legged with fingers pinched.
what can i do?
is it working yet?
many questions poured into my head but i just thought peaceful things.
just blankness
these facts/questions/answers popped into my head.
i could do anything i wanted, why was it so hard to stay asleep?
i have had a dream where i could see things from above, why no do that?
there were no details.
i was exhausted.
i was asleep, and i was exhausted.
sleep is supposed to be restful, its supposed to let you wind down.
i was the complete opposite from rested.
if lucidity is the awareness your dreaming,
then what is the awareness of awakenedness?
my mother/father/parent would always tell me to look it up.
i never really liked the dictionary, so i usually Googled what she/he/they wanted me to look up.
could i Google something in this dream?
i withheld other questionsand tried to bring up a Internet window on my screen.
funny that i thought of my sight as a screen.
i press something of a start menu and pull up an Internet
i try to type in google.com in the address bar, but i cant seem to do it without a keyboard.
without frightening myself/the dragon the dragon/myself bursts out of my body.
the dragon then starts to complain, he says "you cant manage to bring up a simple keyboard!?
you have faced many dream physical and psychological enemies!"
"psychological?"
"yes, a physical one that you took out easily was the computer game boss, you beat him with confidence.
another physical foe were the zombies, the sheer number of them was enough to make many first dreamers fall.
a psychological enemy/enemies were the twins you met on the beach, you didn't have to defeat them but
you held you ground and stayed neutral to there thoughts. and the greatest psychological enemy,
was your self/the dragon/me! and yet, you cant manage to summon up a simple keyboard?!"
it wasn't rambling that the dragon did, it was a speech.
-time is confusing-
all that my Google search for "awareness of awakenedness" provided nothing useful,
some scary movie that was "in theater's now" was the most common thing that Google pulled up.
how in the world was i accessing the Internet from my dream? was i sleepwalking to the computer?
i shake the thought out of my mind, i had to do something,
i wanted to have some more fun before i woke up. i ditch my computer screen for a view and jump out the window,
it was spontaneous,
but i felt i needed something spontaneous in the dream, i land outside softly and strike a James bond pose with
a gun in my hand, i stand up and scout the road next to my house,
everything starts rumbling, the houses are visibly shaking,
the house at the very end of the road seems to be trembling the most, many shingles have fallen off of many houses.
for what seemed like minutes, silence was heard through out the street.
the house at the very end of the street, there was no other word for it. shattered.
out of the shattered building came a bear with sleek red wings folded up on its side,
squid tentacles on its over sized tail, it had armor on the head, shoulders, and torso.
the bear was basically about five feet shorter than the house it had busted through.
whether it had seen me or not it was running straight at me.
i coolly load the gun with several stun darts, they were estimated to be able to take down two African elephants a piece,
i took aim at the charging bear, and fired.
both of the bullets bounced harmlessly of the bears armor and onto the ground.
although un-harmed the bear seemed to take the gun as a challenge,
he jumps right at me, he stops less than three feet away. and the roar, oh the roar, the roar he let loose was deafening.
when a choir sings, the tenors can reach low and high.
but they cant do it with the power a bass or soprano. the bass can reach the lowest,
and the soprano can reach the highest,
this bear had the power and strength of a team of bass and soprano combined,
professional bass and soprano cant really break a glass with there voices,
this bear broke every window in the county.
if a man goes blind then the chance he will be deaf goes up by 0.005%. i was suddenly temporarily blind.
i had no idea how long the scream/roar lasted but i would have estimated it at 3 and a half months.
when it was finally over the bear just scoffed at my pathetic corpse writhing on the ground and walks away,
high above the bear on a large hill the real un-cloned me lies in wait, i know that the bears armor is impenetrable,
so i have to wait for a soft spot.
while the bear bends down to pick up my dead body i spy a spot of dark brown fur on its neck,
instantly raising my sword above my head i silently stab the bear.
i jump from the bears back as the bears body falls lifeless with a sickening thud to the ground.
"what shall i do next?" i say to myself/me/the dragon,
the bear answers my question by bursting apart into tens of thousands
of hundreds of thousands of millions of miniature bears,
as the swarm of mini bears grew closer i hopped into a delorian and quickly sped up to 88 miles per hour,
"this is by far the best dream Ive ever had" i said as i hopped out of the time traveling car.
i was somewhere near the house the bear was about to run through but the animal in question was nowhere to be seen.
i knew what i had done, i had gone back into the past again and killed it.
i didn't really know when i would do that but i would eventually.
so i walk away a try and think of something else to do,
-reality check-
"i want to do some tests." i said out loud, a large lab with anything i thought of appeared.
i often liked doing tests to random things at pretty random times.
grabbing a clothespin i clamp it over my nose, i could still breathe,
i figured that this was because i wasn't holding my nose in real life.
"real life", what a strange term i thought to myself, if i remember correctly,
this dream seemed more real than "real" life.
could i be dead? no. if i was dead there would be some kind of escort, right?
more tests, i put myself back on track and looked at my hand, at first it was fuzzy, but it quickly grew clear,
i looked and stared at the grooves and hills on my palm, the lines and creases were bright and clear,
i knew that waking life was no-where near as bright and clear as this.
a pinch was a classic way to figure out if your dreaming, but when i tested it it felt as if i wasn't pinching myself,
it was like i was pretending to pinch myself, it was a fake feeling,
so that was it, it was fake, dreams are fake. but if there fake then why are they so awesome?
bad feelings were emanating from the lab, i jump up and burst through the ceiling superman style,
flying was fun, don't get me wrong, its terrific,
but my thinkings were ruining it, im not the first person to be able to dream.
dreams are not supposed to be like this, were not supposed to play god, we are people.
going through the clouds i think "why cant i hear anything?" ill put some music on,
believe by the bravery started playing and i rushed through the air with birds trailing behind me.
by the end of the song i had reimbursed my faith in the fact that this dream was immaculate.
i was getting bored, there was no other word for it, the says were duller when i had first flown, and the birds weren't as
plumaged as before, so instead of controlling the world i let the world control itself.
while retaining awareness i just let the world flow, and it did, i was in a hallway with many doors on the sides.
the first one was labeled B1 so i assumed i was in the basement.
the next door read B2 and it continued as far as i could see, i walked down the hall and a total of 10 doors were there,
behind me was a door labeled stairs, ahead was an identical door, all the doors have windows.
looking in i see that all the rooms are filled with boxes, so i enter B6 and look inside the boxes,
there filled to the top with pills, my sub-conscious had recognized B6 as a vitamin supplement.
how complex is the brain? is it so complex that it could notice anything and stuff it into my dreams any way it pleased?
i didn't want to play god to my dreams, which were so rich a world that the "real" world seemed dull,
i didn't want the dream to control me! i was really and truly arguing with myself, and more specifically my sub-conscience
so wasn't ignorance truly bliss? wouldn't a non-lucid dream be more pleasant than this? could i actually FORCE myself into
losing sight of the fact that i was currently in a dream? i just ran back out into the hallway, up the stairs, and onto a
roof, i started running and jumped off the roof and flew down the skyscraper.
i could hear nothing but air running past my head, thrusting all other thought from my head i froze time.
i was in a nosedive heading straight for an unsuspecting bird, so controlling space as well as time i moved the bird about
a foot and a half to the left, returning to real time i fell straight past the bird, which was certainly now disorientated,
just as i was about to be.
-a girl-
when i let time back i lost control.
i had just had complete and un-dying control over the dream, i just lost it, i started free falling with no general purpose,
knowing the concrete was less then a mile below i panicked, i calmed down and tried spider powers, of course they work.
i begin swinging from building to building just like a video game, boring, this entire world is boring, i say to myself, it was becoming a habit, to talk to myself, as if i was the only real thing in town.
walking down below with "normal" people, whom i had decided to call dream characters, were all lifeless, pale, meaningless.
yet they all had a name, a family, a life.
and it was all in my head.
a girl suddenly popped up from the ground, she was wearing a little pink dress, nice white shoes, and a hat at least 4 sizes to wide, her name was Baily, i just knew. she was my omen,
i could just tell, she was death.
"please don't wake up" she said, in a voice that was no older than 5. "please don't wake up, i don't want to die."
and that was it, i had too now, because if i didn't wake up, thus killing her, she would kill me.
i could already see the teeth growing, nails extending, eyes reddening.
what should i do? i said to myself,
wake up?
no, no, you can take her,
yeah! kill her like you killed the zombies,!
yeah, a giant meteor!
no, no, it has to be mental, like the yin yang thing,
pssh, you've all got it wrong, death isn't bad, this little girl is your friend! its exactly like the dragon.
but even as a little voice inside my head said that, i knew that this little girl couldn't possibly have any good effect on my health,
"ill try all of my suggestions, but none of them will work." i said to the dragon/myself/my little voices.
i pulled out a sword, not so much a light saber as a laser sword, just when i turned it on i had it pointed at the ground.
i watched the cement quickly boil into nothing as the laser ripped through it,
running toward the girl, even with her short halo of horns growing out her head, i rushed her and stabbed with the end of the laser, instead of melting her, the sword itself melted into what was no longer a girl in a dress, but a short demon, quickly growing,
i back away as my hand is singed, the sword protrudes from where the heart should have been, the teeth form a smile and a shudder as the hilt is absorbed into its body.
as soon as it was completely gone its entire body burst into red light, destroying the city around me like flame to paper.
i and it are the only things left standing, i try to second voices approach, i sat down and started meditating, saying "you do no exist you do not exist you do no-" before i could finish the third symbolic syllable the demons claws swiped down into my side, throwing me off away, but the demon got bigger, closer, as it shed its human skin, it was all red, horns going in a circular halo around its head, shredding the hat.
i was just getting up, when the demon dissipated.
"have i beaten it? did i win?" i asked the nothingness around me.
every voice i knew spoke to me, a resounding "no." from all voices, my father, mother, sister, brother, what could have been in every life, galaxy, and possible universe. all declining me with a simple "no."
it came from the demons mouth, it only opened, and sound came out, no jaw movement, no tongue, it was as if it had swallowed a black hole and was consuming all possible light.
it jumped at me faster than i could have seen with a slow-mo camera, kicking me in the jaw, sending me flying, then jumping again into me, i bounced off of it painfully and without inertia it was moving so fast, and its wicked jaws curling so high it made me want to die.
and that was exactly it, i had to want it, the third suggestion was correct.
so i relaxed myself, and embraced the coming impact.
-sweet dreams, are yet to come-
but it didn't come, i sailed through the air, and, screaming in agony. hit the ground.
i hadn't yet screamed in pain, i had screamed in anger, and in fury, but the pain as immense, i could hear myself scream while i was in my bed, i really was sleeping. and this was a nightmare.
i was on the ground, my arm was numb, no. my arm was dismembered, it was about four feet off to the side of me, i just lost my arm.
-
i wanted to DIE. my wish was granted. a colorful blur swiftly rose out of the ground, it hit the sky, and bounced back down to me, i knew what it was, and i wanted it, i wanted not just for the pain to end, but the confusion, the monotony, and the incredibleness to stop. and with one fell swoop the dragon came and took me.
i wake up".
(copyright 2008 no-name)
