Fake Journal #1

Disclaimer: Entertainment purposes only. Contains many swear words and typos. May cause cancer if inhaled.


2:17 AM 8/18/2005
Well, this is the first entry in my new journal. To be honest, I don't know what I should type. Since I can't think of anything. I'll just make sure to be better prepared for the next entry.

2:19 AM 8/18/2005
Well, I know I said I'd be more prepared this time, but I still don't have much to report. Other than the rude midget. It's no big deal. I was at work when this midget came up to me and starts getting an attitude with me. He was blaming me for him stepping in some gum while watching a movie. I told him I was sorry. It seemed to calm him down a bit, but he still seemed pissed. Oh well, you can't make every happy.

2:21 AM 8/18/2005
I don't believe this. That midget I mentioned before got an attitude with me again. This time it was about his soda tasting stale or something. I wasn't even working concession. Why the hell would he tell me about his soda tasting bad when I had absolutely nothing to do with it? That doesn't make any sense. Well, I told the girl that had sold him the drink, and she replaced it for him. The weird thing is, he was a complete gentleman when dealing with her, but as soon as she was out of sight, he got all pissy with me again.
Uppity midgets piss me off, and this one more than the rest. I apologized to him again, as he went to another movie. Hopefully, I won't have to deal with him again.

2:25 AM 8/18/2005
If there is a God, he's playing with my mind. This is the third day that midget bastard got an attitude with me. I don't even remember what he was complaining about this time. Something about the temperature in the audatorium. Maybe it was too hot or something. That's not the important part. I was sweeping up a popcorn spill outside the movie he was watching when he comes storming out of there, nearly hitting me with the door. Then,
after noticing me, he starts ranting about something. I couldn't understand him. He was speaking some language I couldn't recognize. One of the managers saw me failing to calm him down and rushed over to help. Almost immediately the midget calmed down, and started talking English again when the manager asked if he could help the midget with anything. Shorty told him there was, but didn't feel like talking in front of me. Actually, he said, "I don't want to tell you in front of this man-fish." I don't know what he could have meant by that, but given his attitude, and my past experience with him, I
thought it safe to assume that was meant to be an insult. Though, I was more confused than upset.

2:44 AM 8/18/2005
Well, well, well. Why am I not surprised? Shorty got mad at me again today. I was so close to just punching his chubby little face it's not funny. The only reason I didn't hit him is because I want to keep my job. Despite the obvious setback of having to deal with people like Shorty. I was sweeping by the butter dispenser when he walked by and said, "You need to watch what the hell you're doing. You're missing a lot of stuff, Fish-Fucker." After that, he just kept walking to his movie. Again, I was more confused than anything. I really should ask him what he meant next time I see him.

2: 49 AM 8/18/2005
I was Shorty again today. Before he said anything I asked him why he called me a Fish-Fucker. He seemed a bit confused. Then, he shook his head and said, "Don't play with me, Atlantean. Your kind are always putting us down." Before I could ask what he meant by that, he took off. What the hell is wrong with this guy? What did he mean by Atlantean? I can't be...

2:53 AM 8/18/2005
I didn't see Shorty today, but I did look up Atlanteans on the internet at my friend's house. According to one site, Atlanteans look almost exactly like humans. They usually have blue eyes, an average build, and wild hair. I have all three, but, of course, that is not enough to start believing I'm an Atlantean. That would be just crazy. But just maybe I am. Well, maybe Shorty knows something. This is the first time I've hoped to see
him. Weird, huh?

2:56 AM 8/18/2005
Shorty was his usual self today; mad at me, and nice to everyone else. The only difference is that he had a woman with him. A midget woman. She seemed to hate me too. I asked Shorty why he called me an Atlantean and he said, "What is wrong with you? Don't play your mind games on me. Just go build another city on the water, and not let us into that one either." With that, he walked away. His friend glaring at me as she followed. Seriously, I am starting to doubt Shorty's mental stability. He must be crazy
or something. I don't know what to think anymore.

3:03 AM 8/18/2005
I didn't have work today, so I spent a lot of time studying Atlanteans and Atlantis. Apparently, the Atlanteans built Atlantis to keep someone out. Based on what I read, it was an ancient race of magic dwarves of something. Maybe early leprechauns. The Atlanteans didn't like the magic dwarves so they made the buttons that open the door to Atlantis just inches out of the dwarves reach. Pretty cold-blooded, but funny nonetheless. Does this mean Shorty is a descendant of the magic dwarves? Am I descended
from Atlanteans? Geez, this is really confusing. Hopefully, Shorty can/will help me understand.

3:08 AM 8/18/2005
Well, Shorty wasn't too thrilled to see me, but what's new? I asked him what happened at the Battle of Broken Gold; a name I got off the internet. He told me it was a mightly clach between my people (the Atlanteans) and his, but he called his people the Chosen. I wasn't sure what he meant, but I got the impression the subject was a delicate one with him so I let him continue the story. A lot of what he said I had already learned; the Atlanteans didn't like the dwarves, the dwarves hated the Atlanteans, Atlantis was built
on the surface of a mighty ocean (though he didn't say which ocean), and despite having magic, the dwarves could not reach the buttons to get into Atlantis. The dwarves got pissed off, and sank Atlantis. Luckily enough for the Atlanteans, the entire city was kept intact. Apparently, they haad alread developed gills, and weren't really bothered by having to live underwater. Well, I think I'm finally starting to get an understanding of things. Maybe some more research will help.

3:14 AM 8/18/2005
I had another day off of work, so I was back online searching for anymore information I could get about Atlanteans, Atlantis, and a quick search of the words "magic dwarves" that resulted in a lot of porn site on the results page. Whatever, I believe now that I am, in fact, an Atlantean. Don't ask how I know, I just do. Plus, I seem to have grown gills on the sides of my neck. Another part of the Atlantean description. They seem to work just fine too. I filled the bathtub with water and stayed in there for a good three hours. The whole time, I breathed through the gills. That's certainly an interesting experience. I also found a possible location of Atlantis while I was onine. I plan to go there to see what remains of my ancestors. Wish me luck.

3:20 AM 8/18/2005
Well, I'm now hitchiking across the country. I planned ahead, and the best place for me to start swimming is in Maine. I made it to Pennsylvania in just a couple of rides. I got pretty lucky I guess. I hope my luck stays good.

3:22 AM 8/18/2005
I reached Maine a short time ago, but I'm too tired to start swimming just yet. Despite being able to breathe in the water, I have to remember that I won't be the only thing in the ocean. I don't want to fall asleep halfway to my goal and get eaten by a whale or shark or something. I made some quick money betting someone I could hold my breath for thrity minutes. I had my gills hidden under a sweater, and just sat in the water the whole time. That was the easiest hundred dollars I've ever made. I used the money to rent
a room at some little Bed-and-Breakfast near the beach. At first light, I plan to start swimming to the spot where my ancestors lived. May they welcome their lost child with open arms.

3:27 AM 8/18/2005
I found it! I found Atlantis! The whole place is beautiful. Underwater, of course. At the bottom of the Atlantic to be more precise. I'm a bit concerned about something though. I haven't even begun to fully explore this place, and already I feel almost completely overcome by the size and majesty of this place. Also, my mind seems to be having trouble adjusting to the being underwater for so long. That's understandable I guess. I've been
underwater for only three weeks, when I was on land for twenty years. Anyway, I keep getting the feeling that I'm being followed. Like I said, maybe it's just my mind adjusting. Unless, of course, it's my family...

3:34 AM 8/18/2005
How naive I've been. I was being followed. By Atlantean guards. They thought I was a human. After they noticed I slept underwater, they woke me and took me to the King of Atlantis. It was an honor to be sure. They told me on one ever sees the king unless it's critically important. Then king looked a lot like me. In fact, every Atlantean I saw looked a lot like me. It was comforting and made me feel safe. Well, the king told me it's very rare for an Atlantean descendant to realize their heritage and go looking for
Atlantis. He also said I was very brave seeking out their kingdom without knowing if I'd be excepted or not. That was just a short time ago. I've been placed in the royal suite at the palace. It seems they have great respect for me for making the trip here. Well, the king told me to be well rested, for tomorrow I meet the people. I'm not sure what he meant, but the way he said it made me think it was a matter of great importance. I decided against asking questions that would show my ignorance of their culture. I gotta
go. Someone is at the door.

3:43 AM 8/18/2005
Wow. I love Atlantis. The knock on my door last night was three very attractive female Atlanteans. They told me they came to my room to recieve my seed. I was then told to pick one to bear my children. I did, and I believe you can guess what happened after that. Needless to say, I didn't get as much sleep as I hoped I would. Well, now I'm supposed to be getting ready for a feast in my honor i just a few hours. I thought I'd add what happened earlier while it's still so fresh in my mind. When I woke up, the female I
selected the night before was gone, and was replaced by a suit of Atlantean armor similar to the kind worn by the guards that found me except this suit was highly detailed. It was obvious that a lot of work went into it's crafting. Somehow, I knew this armor was for me. The strangest thing is that I knew how to put it on without help. It was as if I had done it thousands of times before. Quite remarkable. It fits perfectly. Like no clothes I ever had on the surface. After I put the armor on, the king entered the room, and telepathically told me it was time to go. The whole day I was paraded around the city meeting almost every inhabitant in the city. It turns out there are a lot. If I had to guess, I'd say one-hundred thousand at least. The only thing that caught my attention was an older female telling me, "You're our savior." It's not the first time I've been confused. Gotta go again. The gaurds are here to escort me to the feast.

3:57 AM 8/18/2005
I love Atlantis! I know I said it before, but it bears repeating. I love this city! The females, the food, the fun. I played a game today almost just like an underwater version of football. It was the second most fun I've had since I got here. This place is amazing!

3:59 AM 8/18/2005
Something is terribly wrong. I feel so uneasy now. Something bad is going to happen and something tells me it's going to happen to me. I don't like this one bit, but then who would? It feels as though God himself is trying to warn me of something. I only wish I knew what. Maybe I'll find out before it happens. I hope.

4:01 AM 8/18/2005
The female that took my seed stopped by a short time ago. It's amazing, but she already looks five months pregnant. I mentioned my shock to her, and she said she understood my ignorance. Then, she explained that Atlanteans mature at least five times faster than humans. Only, the children she now carried seemed to be maturing even faster than that. She was so thrilled that the children would be born soon. Her joy did little to lift my spirits though as the feeling of dread is getting worse. I fear it may have something to do with the children. With my children. I hope they're safe, and healthy. Most of all, I hope they're happy.

4:06 AM 8/18/2005
The children are here. I'm so relieved to know they're all beautiful, healthy, little Atlanteans. Now, I know how it feels to be a proud father. If only I didn't still feel the worst is just around the corner.

4:09 AM 8/18/2005
That's it. I now know why I felt so uneasy. The Sacrifice. Everytime a surface dweller realizes their Atlantean heritage, and swims out to Atlantis, they are offered as a sacrifice to the Great Fish. It seems they believe offering our people pleases the fish and it, in return, gives us the ability to breathe underwater. If only I had known this before hand. In three day, the Great Fish will be here to accept the latest sacrifice; me...

4:13 AM 8/18/2005
I'm not sure how to feel knowing I have two days left to live. My wife (the mother of my children and I were wed just four days ago) keeps trying to comfort me, but there's not much she can do to make me feel better about dying. We did, however, think it wise to have more children. That way, there will be more of my genes living in Atlantis. It saddens me to think I won't be able to see my children grow up. But if I don't sacrifice myself to the Great Fish they may lose their gills, and suffocate. As would my wife. That, I can't allow. I will give myself willingly to save our people. May they speak of my courage for centuries to come.

4:19 AM 8/18/2005
Today is my last day alive. I don't know what to say here. Everyone seems so happy that I've accepted the fact that I'm going to die. As if I had any other choice. Escaping is not even an option in this armor. It makes it very hard for me to swim very fast, and I found out only too late that once it's on it can never be removed. Removed by nothing but the Great Fish's teeth that is.

4:21 AM 8/18/2005
Today's the day. I woke up early to record my farewells to my family. I couldn't stop myself from crying several times. I miss them so much. They mean everything to me, and it's for them I choose to go through with the sacrifice. If it means they live long, happy lives, then so be it. There's no going back now. Farewell.

4:24 AM 8/18/2005
I don't know what to say. The Great Fish is not what I expected to say the least. After my last entry, I was led downstairs and into the courtyard of the palace. There, I was tied to an altar. After waiting for about two hours, I finally heard muffled voices of people seeing the first glimpses of the Great Fish. I could move my head, and when I did I expected to see the shadow of some huge beast. I, instead, saw a three-foot long fish coming at me with an impressive set of teeth. As it swam closer, I noticed it eyeing my private part. In a lightning-quick move, it bit it all off and swam away. The pain was
nothing in comparison to my shock. It bit off my reproductive organs and swam away...I don't know what to make of that. It's just so unexpected. Anyway, I'm tired and I lost a lot of blood earlier. I need to go to sleep.

4:32 AM 8/18/2005
I woke up with a terrible pain in my stomach. I asked my wife what she thought it ould be and she told me it was the young of the Great Fish. It seems that when it bit off my stuff, it laid eggs in their place. Now, those eggs were in my intestine, and they were getting ready to hatch. I'm not looking forward to that.

4:34 AM 8/18/2005
Now, I'm dying. My wife told me the pain got much worse because the eggs hatched and they were now eating me from the inside. Not how I thought I would die. The pain is unbearable. I can only add this by connecting the console directly to my brain. I'm adding this telepathically. Another abiliyt I gained when I became an Atlantean. Well, this is the last entry. My wife said it's only a matter of time until one of the young Great Fish finds one of my three hearts and kills me. Yeah, one heart fails and I die. Makes you kind of wonder why we have three if there is no advantage. oh...they found it.
i see a bright light...it's warm....safe.....i'm going home....i.....love......