boundless infinity

Boundless infinity, attunes itself to my tidal wave of femininity..
divinity held within my stupa of creation...formation in undulation...
A rhythmic manifestation of my quintessential spirituality...
like the duality of opposites dancing in totality... all joining to create the entire picture yet individually containing the whole..
Like a beam projected, reflected, through the black holes of soul...

Power of tranformation, have you witnessed such a display.. ingrained with dedication, from this path I will not stray. Got my gaze trained upon the skies... see Orion rising when you look in my eyes. Swimming in thought deep in the galatic sea....trailin a comet is where you'll find me...I will dream in lucidity....

Refracted in this angle we don't need words to respond..
The univeral mind has intertwined a deeply rooted bond...pressure of a lesser rotational balance can't deflect telepathy....
and darkness can't overcast awareness - cause we don't need eyes to see....
Infinitly surround in our omnipresent existence...sojourn around at light speed through galatic distance....
this resistance of gravity is the only thing stopping me...but with persistance my mentality will allow me to be free...................

I really like your rhyming, I don't know the meaning of some of the words you use but that's just cause I'm an idiot. I'd like to post my poems but none of them rhyme and I think that they are all pointless...but anyways...

thanks for the reply fersteger... rhyming is something that comes naturally to me..... actually I have a hard time not rhyming, so usually I have respect/admiration for people who can write and let go of the need to rhyme.... you should post some poems :)

To be honest, I actually really like that poem. I just love the recurring images of the ocean and sky. Very peaceful. And I also love the way it flows, and the way you rhyme within the line as well.

If I was to throw one idea out it would be: what if you were to perhaps in your next poem take one or two rhymes out? To break the rhyme. So as you read it, expecting it to continue flowing so smoothly, it would simply stop. Perhaps at the end of stanzas. Just an idea because you said you rhymed too much, perhaps you can keep rhyming, but balance it out a bit.

At the same time, in this poem, there is no real set rhyme scheme, so the fact that it's sort of happening all over the place balances it out anyway... kinda makes it even more "flowy" like the ocean... loose and shapeless like water. :goodjob2:

Cheers,
Dylan

Quote:

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Originally posted by Dylan
what if you were to perhaps in your next poem take one or two rhymes out? To break the rhyme. So as you read it, expecting it to continue flowing so smoothly, it would simply stop. Perhaps at the end of stanzas. Just an idea because you said you rhymed too much, perhaps you can keep rhyming, but balance it out a bit.

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This is a good idea actually..... and I think it would help add a level of dimension to my poems...... most of the time when I write I do so with the idea of one day reading the piece out loud, at a poetry slam or something similar.... so the break from rhyme could allow for transistions and dramatic pauses and such.... thanks dylan good thinking... I will give it a try next time.

:upsidedown: