Jorgen, the Toothless Vampire

Credit goes to Man of Steel for this cool story suggestion.

Chapter 1: Toothless!

Jorgen the vampire, was a very unlucky vampire.
While he was out one night, looking for prey, he found a woman in a dark alley. She was homeless, and she stank, but Jorgen was sure that her blood would taste just fine. So he walked up to her.
"Why, hello there madam" he said in a cool voice.
The woman, unbeknownst to Jorgen, suffered from dementia. She screamed wildly and swung an empty beer bottle that she seemed to pull out of nowhere and swung it at Jorgen. Now, normally Jorgen could've easily dodged that bottle, but he just wasn't expecting that particular hobo to have an empty beer bottle. After all, how many hobos drink beer, right? The unexpected bottle hit Jorgen in the mouth. Instantly, he felt searing pain. He fell over backwards, landing quite hard on his ass.
The old woman cackled and shrieked "That'll teach yuh not to puke on my feet, yuh damn mutt!" and ran out of the ally, cackling all the way, before being mowed down by an 18-wheeler. She should've looked both ways.
Now let me tell you a little bit about vampire teeth that a lot of people don't know. Vampire teeth are very hard, like diamonds, and never yellow or decay, and never develop cavities. That's good because it's quite hard to get a dentist appointment after sunset. Though a vampire's teeth are hard, the roots connecting them to the gum are quite weak. Sure, the roots are strong enough to hold through the hopeless struggle of a victim whom is having his or her blood sucked, a beer bottle being swung by an old hobo lady is just enough force to break those roots. So when that bottle connected, no teeth broke, but the roots gave away. Several teeth came flying out of Jorgen's mouth, and a few went down his throat.
So he sat there. Choking on his own teeth. He gave himself a good punch in the chest and they came flying out of his mouth. His mouth was filled with blood now. He didn't mind. Vampires suck eachother's blood in place of having sex, so drinking his own blood was like masturbation. After an hour or so, the bleeding finally stopped, and Jorgen realized that his teeth were gone. I mean, he really realized it. He saw the implications. He needed those teeth. Especially those two really sharp ones, those were his favorite! What would he do without teeth to break the flesh of his victims' necks with? His fingernail? No. His fingernails were dead. They never grew. And what of vampire sex? A vampire was ridiculed if his fangs were short, how bad would he be ridiculed for not having any fangs at all? It seemed that Jorgen was in quite a pickle.