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    Thread: A poem.

    1. 01-01-2005 07:45 AM #1
      Mickeys_Elbow
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      A poem.

      I just found this section of the site so I'm gonna take full advantage of it!

      This is a poem I wrote about how people often hide from or ignore good things that come in strange, frightening, or out of the ordinary packages. Kind of like how lucid dreaming is seen to some poeple.

      "My Wish Well"

      My wish well's a fish pail,
      With all the fish excrement and tail,
      Hanging from a crust caked rail.

      "So," says the fish pail, "Wish well;"
      "And just ignore my funk fish smell,"
      "As I turn your life to a tall tale."

      So I turn tail, to fish pail,
      And the fish pail wails, "Oh Bloody Hell!"
      "I guess I'm just no ordinary fish pail!"




      Please comment, and be as ruthless as possible!
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    2. 01-01-2005 05:34 PM #2
      Anahata
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      Re: A poem.

      Originally posted by Mickeys_Elbow

      \"So,\" says the fish pail, \"Wish well;\"
      \"And just ignore my funk fish smell,\"
      hahahah this made me laugh.....

      well to convey the meaning that you described before the poem a little better, I would suggest lengthening it........ showing a little more of the resistance in assigning a nasty fish pail wish granting powers......

      Very unique though.... nice to read
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    3. 01-01-2005 06:09 PM #3
      Mickeys_Elbow
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      Thanks for the input! It's been a few years since I wrote it so it's probably ready for some good revision now that I'm a little older. (and wiser... maybe ) I've got a bunch of more poems that I will post and I'd love to have your input on those too. I find it so difficult to find good critics to my poetry. Everyone either loves them or hates them but they can never tell me WHY they feel that way!
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