It's too damn hard. I've tryed so goddman hard. To think people say good things happen to good people. He's fucking beautiful, but so fucking oblivious. The look in his eyes everytime we stare. The pureness, without knowing any better. It's been 3 months, with two to go. Why wait? Seb is the only thing I have, and he means my whole life to me. The cancer causes noticeable fatigue, but his will is strong as ever. Everyday he struggles up and down the stairs, but it means so much to us that we do it anyways. I'm not gonna last without him, so we'll might as well go together. The tears that burned my cheeks start to cool, and Seb is right there with me... head on my lap. I start the car, and my limbs start to feel like pins and needles. I'm scared shitless and Seb can tell, but his warmth brings feeling back to my numbing fingers. Staring into his eyes his little lungs give up, and as he fades away his enthusiasm, his love, remains till the very end. My sobs muffle the puttering engine, and as I breath deep I feel myself getting stiff. My last breath, with Seb... There's nothing but black, not even love.
