The Perfect Human

The perfect human
would not sleep,
The perfect human,
he could not eat.
The perfect human
would never cry,
The perfect human,
he could not die.
The perfect human
would not be irate,
The perfect human,
he could not hate.
The perfect human,
is not seen,
The perfect human,
is but a dream.

I like the way this is structured. Could be longer though, Something perfect is always a dream. the perfect human...is but a dream. So true. Good work, needs to be longer though. You should make a pt.2 of it or something. If the perfect human could not hate...could he love? How would the perfect human be a he? A male? Anyways like I just mentioned you should make a pt.2 of it. Otherwise it's pretty cool man. :)

I was considering about the length, but I figured, "This can get a bit repetitive". Thank you for your comments, though!

I don't know about a Part II. Perhaps. But somethings things are better left to the reader to imagine :)

Here. I decided to post another:


What is a memory?

A memory is not heard,
but in the head it dances.
A memory is like a bird,
a simple thought that prances.

But when a memory is lost,
The thought becomes a pilot.
For a memory is not a thought,
but a treasure that is guided.

Take your memories for granted,
and they'll crash into the ground.
Take your memories for granted,
and you'll find they can't be found.

Excellent man. Just plain Brilliant. You probaly can't describe memories better than that. After I read it I stopped what I was doing for a moment and thought of my memories. Good and Bad. I'm gonna print that out and tape to the inside of my journal if you don't mind. (it is your work after all) Keep them coming man. :goodjob: :bravo: :goodjob2:

No problem man! Just put my user name after 'em, and I won't care in the least. :D

Limits

While some may fill the glass

half full,

and others--

half empty,

I will fill the glass three times, and overfill it
plenty.
But even here I limit, my truest aspirations--
For the greatest of the greats, had true imagination.
For while we pour so slowly, in increments so small,
The greatest of the greats, smam in the




waterfall.

i like it its reall y is a simple poem to write but u make it so deep ya know? i like it! :)

The Dealer
____

"Hahaha" says the dealer,
as he deals the night away.
With arms stretched he takes the colors,
and throws them in fire.

"Hahaha" says the dealer,
as you feel the hearth of day.
With feet unfurled you cloud the lovers,
and catch the open flyer.

"Hahaha" says the loser,
as he sinks like solid clay.
With palms closed he breaks the covers,
and feels his eyes close tired.

------

It has a closely related concept to it. Try to think.

___________

Da perfect cereal
would never expire
Da perect cereal
would never get soggy
Da perfect cereal
would never get stale
Da perfect cereal
would taste fucking awesome
Da perfect cereal
it would have no color
Da perfect cereal
could not make a mess
Da perfect cereal
would taste like sunshine and rainbow dust
Da perfect cereal
does not exist
Because
Da perfect cereal
is in my stomach
______________

PS: I'm not mocking you, just couldn't resist :P Good poem, anyways.

Quote:

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Originally posted by wasup
would taste fucking awesome

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HAHAHA :D

I do what I can :wink: