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    Thread: Tell Me about Depression and Seeking Help.

    1. #1
      Soņadora Suena's Avatar
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      Tell Me about Depression and Seeking Help.

      So, recently, after posting in the Help forum, I've realized I might be depressed. Practically everyone who read it and replied reinforced that idea, telling me to seek help.

      I won't go into my personal issues, but the term "depression" seems to be so broad to me and after discussing my suspicion of being depressed with my husband, I just don't know what I'm feeling. He says everyone feels the way I do and that I am normal. Basically, and I somewhat agree with him, he says life sucks and we have to deal with it. He says talking to a therapist or psychiatrist won't help me and that they will just want to give me meds so that they can get paid.

      I'm torn between both sides, I feel I need help, but I don't want to seek professional help because I don't trust institutions, like my husband. At the same time though, I feel there are people out there that want to and can help me, but maybe it's a rarity. I'd have to find the right person to talk to.

      I need more information about this subject. Do you really think it's okay to fully trust a person being paid to help you? I honestly don't think they would feed me meds in my case, but maybe some talking would help. I don't see how that can hurt. I just don't want to be brainwashed and tricked.

      And no, I don't have anyone really to talk to. I'd like to talk to a professional.
      Ok, so I guess I need opinions and facts. If you think I should seek help, what kind of information can I tell my husband so that maybe he'll support it and believe it to be an illness and not just "the stupid world" we live in?

      Thanks in advance. Hope my question is clear enough.

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      Member nina's Avatar
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      You should seek out a counselor or therapist rather than a p-doc...that way you won't have to worry about them prescribing you drugs. Also, if a doctor does want to prescribe you something, you can always just tell them that you don't want to use medication, and if they don't want to treat you unless you are on meds (very unlikely) then just ask them if they can refer you to someone who won't put you on drugs.

      I was severely depressed for awhile and eventually sought help...but this doctor was not helpful at all, and I wound up treating myself and overcoming my problems on my own. Obviously, not everyone is going to be able to do this, but it's worth a shot and will save you money. It's a matter of recognizing and understanding the problem, underlying issues, desire to change, behavior modification, education, self realization, self help books, and even online support groups. Unless you are so depressed that you are suicidal or feel that you are just not motivated to learn to help yourself, then I am a strong advocate of self help. The most important part of recovery from anything is the first step, when you recognize the problem and become motivated to overcome it. Some people need someone else to tell them what to do and how to get better, but in all honesty...as long as we are able to take a crucial and calculating analysis of ourselves, there is no reason why we shouldn't be able to treat ourselves (unless of course it's the sort of mental disorder that interferes with sound judgment).

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      Soņadora Suena's Avatar
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      Thank you for replying. I have been trying most self-help methods I can find, mostly ones I come up with. I keep a journal to help write out my feelings, hoping some secret will pour out that I've kept locked in, but so far, nothing. I've almost given up because even though I enjoy the exercises I have tried, everything just tends to get worse over time. I would love to be able to help myself without having to go someplace, because I know I can, just need direction.

      I cannot put into words how I feel sometimes and when I'm asked, and sometimes I think I used the wrong ones. I won't give up on my search for an answer, but I really am having a hard time finding something I can move on from, on my own.

      I wouldn't call myself suicidal, because in my heart I know I couldn't do it, not just for fear, but because I have a son and that's not fair.
      I do have very vivid "daydream" type situations I put myself in when I get really down, and I think so seriously about these images and how great it would feel if I could, but like I said, it won't happen.
      I don't think that's suicidal. Although, realizing this and that I couldn't do it even if I wanted to, makes me feel worse... sounds a little selfish I know.

      I will keep trying alternatives until I know for sure that I need help I guess. Anyway, didn't mean to ramble, I guess what I'm saying is I don't know if my own analysis of myself is a good thing, it actually might be making it worse because I tend to over-analyze and the result is a clusterfuck.

    4. #4
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      <span class='glow_8B0000'>Zhaylin</span>'s Avatar
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      Seek a counselor for yourself. I've been seeing a p-doc for 8 years or so and my husband STILL gives me hard time about having to see him and especially about taking meds. I'm a naturally submissive person, but hubby and I have gone toe to toe on this issue. I know I need my p-doc AND my meds. He doesn't understand and never will and it's now just one of those subjects we never discuss.

      I fought against seeing a counselor for YEARS. I didn't understand why I would pay someone to listen to me whine and bitch. A friend stepped in when people thought I had bipolar disorder and I saw my p-doc. Now I wish I had sooner.
      Not everyone clicks with their first therapist. I lucked out. But stick it out. Sometimes they tell you things you don't want to hear, but that's their job. Trust is built over time. It took a couple years before I told my pdoc I fought with self injury.

      I hope you find someone who can help soon.
      (((((hugs)))))
      Suena likes this.

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      Soņadora Suena's Avatar
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      Thank you Zhaylin. I appreciate the hugs especially. =)

      I think I would prefer to work things out on my own, but I have to try harder than I have before, because I still don't know if seeking help would be best for me. I just can't tell how bad it really is... It feels pretty bad sometimes, and then at other times I look back and I feel like I have the mind power to rise above that thinking. I just need to work harder on controlling it...

      Like right now, I feel alright, then again, I always feel alright in the mornings and afternoons. It's the nightime that I start to sink. Anyways, thanks for the replies. Hope to hear some more on what people think of "depression" in general. Not necessarily whether I should seek help or not, but maybe just some general information. Maybe, other ways to know if you truly are "depressed"? Or maybe, if there are people out there that don't think of it as an illness, but maybe just a state of mind everyone passes through? I don't know what I'm looking for... just want to hear more opinions on this subject if possible..

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