Well, i'm in high school, and am afraid of being beat up by someone sooner or later. I've had trouble with two 'bullies' since middle school, and I really need some tips on how to defend myself. Anyone?
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Well, i'm in high school, and am afraid of being beat up by someone sooner or later. I've had trouble with two 'bullies' since middle school, and I really need some tips on how to defend myself. Anyone?
Speak softly and carry a big stick.
Ninjitsu. The ultimate equalizer. If there's a ninjitsu school nearby, and you have a serious bully problem, and by that I mean you're genuinely afraid that you'll get severely injured, sign up for classes. And be sure it's ninjitsu, and not that pansy karate or judo or whatever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Indivore
Barring classes, I can tell you some quick tricks for winning a fight. Learn the three main pressure points: solar plexus, groin, throat.
You can locate the solar plexus by poking yourself hard just at the bottom tip of your sternum. If you feel a spot where it's extra painful, that's your solar plexus. Learn its position so you can find it on the bullies.
The groin is obvious.
On the throat, you're looking for the spot on the adams apple where if you gently press it back, you feel an intense choking feeling that lasts even after you let go. Again, get used to locating this on the bullies.
Now, if a bully tries to initiate a fight, just hit the solar plexus, throat, and kick the groin in that order. That will bring down anyone. If he blocks, you can try hitting the armpit really hard, as that's another pressure point. But if he's used to bullying you, you'll catch him off guard. Once he's on the ground, kick him a few times in the face.
A word of warning: never kick your enemy if he's standing and ready for it. As a fighting novice, you'll be slow and will probably lose balance. Start with punches, always.
What do bullies do?
As I understand the situation where I live, there are only "gangs" and actual crime. And when they come after you, I don't think it's called bullying anymore.
I'd listen to drewman. I don't know what I'm doing "answering" a question, since I don't have the experience, but I guess you just have to confront them, if bullies are what I think they are. Martial arts are never a bad thing and knowing where to hit somebody is useful too.
A question for drewmandan... Isn't it too dangerous to hit someone in any of those places. Ok I guess a groin hit doesn't allways kill you, but those other ones seem a bit deadly. Are they?
The solar plexus isn't deadly at all, at least for a novice. It's just REALLY painful, to the point where you can easily make a person lose consciousness. As for the throat, yeah, you could collapse their trachea or whatever, but a novice probably wouldn't be able to, and you gotta judge the situation. Like, if it's between having the shit beat out of you versus risking a hospital visit for the bully, what would you pick?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonsay
Well I wouldn't think about it at the time. But I don't want to kill anyone.
Nice Teddy Roosevelt quote.Quote:
Originally Posted by poog
Well, ninjitsu is the art of murdering with your hands. But the OP asked for self-defense, and assuming he doesn't want to carry a shiv around, ninjitsu is the best defense.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonsay
Plan A: Try to avoid situations where people would bully you. Stay around people, even if they're people you don't know, because at least there will be witnesses. Avoid certain places on your way home such as alleys or places where you would have a hard time escaping or could easily get cornered. Be aware of your surroundings and if you don't feel safe in a place, look for where the exits are and plan your way out ahead of time.
Plan B: If you do get confronted by a bully, make as much noise as you can. Don't worry about sounding like a sissy, because your physical well-being trumphs your pride. Shout for help or for them to stay back and not touch you. Make it loud and draw attention to the situation. It gives them a chance to back off. If they keep coming, run if you have the chance, perferrably towards some place where there are people. Try to avoid physical contact if at all possible.
Keep in mind that if you just go after them and don't make some sort of "announcement" that you feel threatened, they could just say that you attacked them first. Also, I would advise against trying to carry a weapon, as it could be taken away and used against you if you don't know how to use it.
Take a self-defense course. They usually have them at athletic clubs, colleges/universities, or you might even find them advertised in the newspaper. Check with a counselor to see if they know of a course you could take. Pepper spray can also be effective, but be careful how you use it. You don't want to accidentally spray yourself or spray it in a room where you can't easily get out. And tell them you'll spray them before you do, if possible.
And don't diss on Judo. You learn how to fall and how to throw/restrain/choke people.
Stand up to them. Be tough, think tough, look tough, your pissed that your treated this way. Face them if they want to confront you. Your ready for them anytime! Don't think that they can do this to you.
Only two things will come out of this; You will appear as someone who is not to be messed with and will make a bad choice in social standing if he fights with you. OR, You get in a fight with him and show that you are not afraid of this guy and even though you get beat up, still you will be seen as a person who is not to be messed with (dumb Highschool social system). Because you stood up to him, its sure to raise a little boost in "popularity", if you didn't have any, and most people in HS are plain wusses that will look up to you (great new friends), even if you lost the fight. Anywho, only good can come out of this, BE TOUGH ABOUT IT! I could go on and on and on about this topic.............so
JUST STAND UP FOR YOUSELF.
thank you I have been attempted to be bullied on multiple times and I stand up, look them in the face and tell them to fuck off, if they threaten you, tell them "good luck" and walk away.. by the way I took like a month of ninjitsu and I can confidently say that I am able to beat up every kid in my entire school and I am a tall, relatively scrawny guy. And if they say "okay walk away but dont come back" dont let them screw up your rep, turn around tell them youll be back tomorrow and walk off and this time completely ignore everything they say.Quote:
Originally Posted by IZ
I agree with mostly everything except what I bolded and italicized there. Some people are just dickheads, and get off on just getting a rouse out of people, knowing they get under your skin. I know a few people personally who are like that, and they get their asses whooped every couple of weeks, but they can't help themselves, they just love pissing people off because they know it gets them pissed.Quote:
Originally Posted by IZ
If you don't give them that, then they won't be as entertained by you.
Also, yeah, look tough. Walk around with a solemn and bold looking face and people won't fuck with you, they'll be afraid of you, possibly even respect you. You look like someone not to be messed around with, they don't want to chance it, they prey on weak ones who they expect to wimp out so they can look tough. Hold your shoulders back, puff out your chest, hold your chin high and people will not only not fuck with you, but they'll respect you as well. When you see someone like that, you just assume that they're someone you wouldn't want to fuck around with, and you'll leave them alone.
It's always worked for me. But also, don't be afraid to punch someone out if you have to. I've done this as well. Some dude threw a paper ball at the back of my head once, so in the middle of class I walked to the back of the classroom and threw a good little punch in his face, needless to say he didn't fuck around anymore, he treated me like Jesus from that day on. I remember throwing the punch, and all of a sudden, he got like this 'puppy that's been kicked too many times' kind of look on his face, and just begged me not to throw another punch. I felt kind of bad for it because of the look he gave me, but at the same time, he deserved it for being a douchebag after I warned him not to fuck around with me.
[quote=Amethyst Star;923140]Pepper spray can also be effective, but be careful how you use it. You don't want to accidentally spray yourself or spray it in a room where you can't easily get out. And tell them you'll spray them before you do, if possible.
[quote]
I don't want to be rude Ame, but your post sounds a bit "girly". I know your a girl, but this is IMO no way to defend yourself in a world of bullies in the eyes of a guy.
Great info for a girl to avoid getting raped BTW! :D
[QUOTE=IZ;923156][quote=Amethyst Star;923140]Pepper spray can also be effective, but be careful how you use it. You don't want to accidentally spray yourself or spray it in a room where you can't easily get out. And tell them you'll spray them before you do, if possible.
I agree, that's some bad advice for a guy. Our world is a lot different than the world of females. If we don't stick up for ourselves without intervention from a third party, we'll lose all respect people have for us. Likewise, if you defend yourself and put the other person in their place, you will gain respect. At least that's how it works in highschool. It's fucked up, I know, but that's just how it is. The day I turned around and hit a kid who was touching a seatbelt to the back of my head everyone was like "hey, how's it going man" doing all their weird hand gestures. I hate teenage society (and most of my fellow teens), I really do.Quote:
I don't want to be rude Ame, but your post sounds a bit "girly". I know your a girl, but this is IMO no way to defend yourself in a world of bullies in the eyes of a guy.
Great info for a girl to avoid getting raped BTW! :D
School is not a prison :O I don't see why would anyone bully someone. When I was at school everything was a game. People just tried to piss off each other.
But you know you can poke people with pens and stuff or cut them with rulers. its not deadly and most people likely to avoid things like that. And if people use the same thing on you just pick up a chair if they pick up a chair pick up a table XD.
lol nice always keep above
I understand the "girly-ness," but at the same time, I can't help but think of possible legal implications and other consequences. I also hope that people would only use violence as a last resort rather than start out immediately punching someone in order to intimidate them. Violence usually has a way of escallating.Quote:
Originally Posted by IZ
As far as making noise, you don't have to scream like a girl. Just shout out "Back off!" or something similar, but speak confidently. If the other person feels that you're in control of the situation, usually they will back down. If they are coming at you and you don't have time to do anything but react, by all means defend yourself, but don't beat them to a pulp... unless they're really out to get you, which in that case, go for the knees. Kick their knee joint and chances are they won't be bothering you for a while.
But seriously, take a self-defense course to learn some basic techniques. If you want to study martial arts, more power to you. It's fun and a good work-out, a great way to build strength and endurance.
start PM'ing me btw if you want me to tell you exactly w/ detail how to avoid conflict and when it comes how to avoid serious conflict, and if that happens how to kick ass
Kick the bully in the nuts, when he goes down start kicking him straight in the face. Show no mercy. Used books, anything around you.
See post #3...Quote:
Originally Posted by nitsuJ
btw we are answering you so if you feel like responding to our answers Im sure we would appreciate it and not feel like we're wasting our time...
Dont know about the OP but your answers helped me. Thanks guys.
no prob :)
Uh, sorry. :? Uhm, but yeah thanks for the advice. I'm on Fall Break, and i'm starting back next Monday. Just needed some help with it. I'll check around and see if we have a place where I can learn self defense, or any other martial arts. Thanks everyone!Quote:
Originally Posted by Erikkujonson
lolz np dude I just wanted to make sure our messages were actually getting to where we sent them. You're very welcome and I invite you pm me some time for some tips cause I would be glad to give them and answer any questions.Quote:
Originally Posted by Indivore
Two words. Muy Thai.
Or bear mace. Whichever.
As most people has said, stand up to them mate. I had a problem with people trying to pick fights with me and sometimes just being a downright tool towards me. I find that standing up to them works. It makes them angry, and they feel as if they have less authority than they previously did over you. Don't attack them unless they attack you, then you use self defensive methods. I find that when somebody is headlocking me and trying to choke me, sometimes it is best to take a cheap shot at the groin. They will be temporarily disabled, and will give you a chance to give them a knee to the face. This last move is primarily for intimidation, so when they try to fuck around with you again, they will remember what you did, and won't do it. Do take it too far however. There is a fine line between the one who is responsible for the fight, and if you knock him unconscious, you have crossed that line.
Be willing to go where the going may be tough and do the things that are worth doing even though they are difficult.
Be gentle to the weak and tough to the strong.
Never yield to repression or threat in the pursuit of a noble cause.
Teach attitude and skill with action rather than words.
Always be yourself even though your circumstances may change.
How come I never responded to this?
Mauy Thai? No, that most replies on strikes and kicks. A good way to loose a fight and get in a ton of trouble if you hurt someone. Gracie Ju Jitsu, Judo, Krav Maga, Kung Fu, or Karate. All of them teach how to win a fight through grappling and joint locks. A bully will more than likely just tackle you or push you around, not hit you.
I recommend karate, that's what I teach. Teaches both grappling and stand up sparring so that if he does try to hit you, you have blocks and counter strikes at your disposal.
Forget martial arts you have to learn it for like 5 years to be somewhat effective. It's easy to say oh you gonna headlock him and dodge his punch or whatever. In a fight everything is reflexes, martial arts give reflexes but only after long and hard training.
For the average guy all you have to do is get hit first to get the "Right" to attack like a little push or something. And then just get angry and throw yourself at him while throwing punches at his face.
If that doesn't work throw a chair at him to make sure he understands you're serious.
The only hard thing about it is to get over the mental block of injury or humiliation you'd be surprised how strong you are when you're angry.
Not on the ground. Blocking punches is reflex yes, it took me 17 years to get to where I feel confident that I won't get hit by anyone other than another master, but grappling is technique. If he puts you in a headlock, you have time to work your arm around him and grab his nose, not reflex, just knowledge.
Hi ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to CD's wonderful guide to handling bullies. In this guide I will be giving you a rare and exclusive glimpse into the psyche of the elusive creature called 'the jerk', otherwise also known as 'the bully', or in its latin name 'homo stupidus bullius'. I have also included some sure-fire steps to handle any confrontation with them. Oh! And there's some fighting also!
So...
What to do in a confrontation?
Well, the ideal confrontation is 'no confrontation at all'. So try to avoid, at all costs, to get into a fight.
The first and best way is to make no enemies. Always be nice to everyone, even to bullies. Just treat them like any other person.
Now, I don't know exactly what the bullies you refered to do, but whenever they say something nasty or do something that is a little bit nasty, try to snap back with a witty comment.
Example: them: 'hey! I fucked your mother last night!' You: 'Dude, my mother's like... 50... Getting desperate there, chump?'
Example: them: 'wow, you look gay' --> you: 'Well, wow, I didn't know you were an expert in... gayness, pal.'
After that, there's a high chance that they'll just spatter some nonsense ('Well, aren't you the witty fellow') The response should be: 'Yes... But I really have to go now, got friends to attent to... Pleasure meeting you.'.
Another nonsense-response could be the simple 'well, I'm not (gay)'. Your response should be something like: 'well, you don't have to be ashamed of it, man'; (optional: them: [bla-] *you interrupt*); You: 'anyways, I can't stay for long, it's been a pleasure to meet you (smack him on the shoulder). But I'll leave now, you just go back to your "friends"...' Then eject. That's been my (quite succesfull) strategy for handling this kind of situation. Might serve as an example for other situations. The second version might seem rude and unfriendly. But that's the point. He made a unfriendly statement, and I don't take that. That does mean that you should do this only when they're being nasty. In any other situation I'd be friendly to the 'bully'.
Now, whenever they say something really nasty or do something nasty, go 'Tom Cruise' on them (hate him for his scientology, love him for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C4UvvHMoZs) and demand to know why they did it, why it is so fun, and insist on this one. In fact: INSIST on this one. Keep going. Even if they answer (it'll be a very bland answer), then ask it again 'okay, but what was so funny about it?' Try to get to the core of their character. If they say 'well, I don't know, I just know I think it's funny'. Continue asking the question: 'Well, fine, so why do you find it funny?' Really keep them going until you have a satisfying answer ('I don't know' is a great one --> you could just repeat it over and over again 'You don't know?' [blabla] 'You. don't. know?'
In fact: you should repeat any answer he gives you... Contemplate it, then ask why it is funny. If the questioning comes to a halt, then just repeat the last answer so they can (hopefully) soak in how stupid, childish and pathetic they really were.
After that, say it's rude, and they're being a jerk. Tell them they are being extremely childish, immature, that they are acting like groundschool bullies, and lastly tell them it's pathetic. ('you're like the... groundschool bully, man... seriously... it's pathetic'.) Then just walk away. After that, whatever they throw at you (in words, that is), just say 'whatever, man' and wave your hand in the air, as if you're waving the comment away.
This honestly will be quite a blow in the face for the bullies if done correctly.
Yay! troubleshooting!
-If they start asking questions to you (example: 'well, why don't you like it/ why do you think this was rude', then don't answer the question. Don't get manipulated into their world. This is about them, they did something wrong, and you won't have to apologize for being put off by the whole ordeal. THEY do. So don't answer the question. Tell them that 'this is not about me, I didn't do what you did.' And ask the question again. 'Why is it so funny, why are you doing this?'.)
-If they try to walk away (even when mentioning it, 'Hey, I've got to go back to my friends'), touch them: hold them back, keep them in the conversation (like Tom did in the video) (this is key: it'll convey that you're serious, that you're confident, and that you're not just going to let them walk away, that you're not going to be trampled upon). Ask them not to 'run away', because you're talking to him. It's a rude thing to do. Then continue where you left off.
-If the bully himself (or any other of his clan standing about) says something witty or insulting to you at some place during this routine, then sigh (just slightly audible if you can), look the person right in the eye to shut him up, and quite frankly, it doesn't matter whether he says anything else or not, at this point, just look back at the bully you were having the conversation with, if necessary, you interrupt him from his speach and say 'right, so where were we until we were so... boorishly interrupted/you interrupted me in such a... boorish manner?'. Wait for his response. If he says nothing at all you should respond with 'ah, right, we discovered that this was funny because [blabla]... Quite frankly, I think it was rather rude (continue routine here)'. Or when he does say something about it ('you just got pwned man!') say 'you're very childish, aren't you? [don't even wait for his response here... whatever he says, interrupt him, talk right through him] 'quite frankly, I think it was rather rude (continue routine here)'.
-If someone, but not the 'main-bully' answers to the question 'why is this funny', then say (it is most imposing when you interrupt then while they are still speaking) 'quiet, you, I'm speaking to this person'. Turn back to the main-bully, and pummel him some more.
-If they (or ANYONE else, for that matter) starts laughing at any point, don't worry. It's not that you're being funny, it's that they're being piss-scared, or genuinely nervously affected by what you're doing. Laughter is a good thing in these kinds of situations: it means they're so nervous and stressed they have to 'laugh it out', so to say. When you look at humour, it's always generated by stress. By tension. Have you ever noticed that when a comedian picks out a person to pick upon, they always start laughing hysterically? Like it is the most funny thing that's ever been said? That's stress for you.
So if they start laughing, don't ask them why they're doing it. Simply keep your calmth, smirk, say nothing, look the person(s) who's laughing straight in the eye, be amuzed of their stupidity, and continue on where you left off 'Right... so how exactly was this funny again?'.
If they keep laughing, then quiet down what you were doing, look all those who were laughing in the eyes, and when the laughter is starting to die off, say 'Are you done?' Ignore any answer but one that can be interpreted as 'yes'. Then say 'Good. I find you extremely rude (continue routine)'
The key to this whole routine is not being afraid to do it, to actually be as confident as the above conversation appeared to be. You should radiate calmth, confidence, dead-seriousness and social status. They should be afraid of you.
Even if there are women around chuckling at you, even if a bloody fucking CROWD forms around you, keep your calmth and keep doing the routine.
You should radiate calmth, emotional control, and you should not get angry at them. In fact: if possible, be bemuzed: put off, and as the conversation goes on, be slightly amuzed at their (hopeful) inability to answer your question. You have your value, you are a super-man. So you don't have to prove to anyone you're a great person. They do, in fact: that's why they did it. They did it to (literally) belittle you, which automatically raises their own value (in their own eyes, anyways). They bully so that they can feel good about themselves.
Now, if the aggression metre rises (which might be the case), there's a simple formula that should do the trick fairly well: being confident, steadfast, and not being intimidated by him. Keep an open body language to show you are not afraid (so no folding arms for you! Ideally, you'd plant them at your sides to look bigger). Aside from that, look at them contemplatively, blink slowly. And KEEP looking directly at him, straight into his eyes.
When people do keep escalating into a fight, then stand your ground, do not move a muscle, and warn them one last time (as said before: "Back off!" (when he continues) "Hey, I'm talking to you here!" (If his attention snaps back to you) [wait a couple of seconds, look him straight in the eyes and say] "Honestly, I bet you're a cool guy. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, we don't have to fight. So I'll say it one last time: Back. The Fuck. Off.").
At this point, do not try to look and sound weak, or like you're begging for him to stop (because then you'll look weak, and easier to attack. This is why there is a high chance that you will be attacked then). You want to appear strong, commanding, of higher value than him, capable of beating him, and not afraid of beating him.
If all else, fails (or if he didn't even listen to you), you can either run away, or stand your ground and teach the bugger a lesson.
And in that case:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG9gq6b5Pcw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1J66uZEiMo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu6GUdAXgJY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-jWRrZ5J7s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-3WC...eature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTmanCg_r6k&feature=user
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVtxnMrBJzs&feature=user
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhefvNZlthM&feature=user
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mxEUS_as48&feature=user
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrYfVv3qgRs&feature=user
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHneIEK42HY&feature=user
-Throat strikes are great, but very dangerous.
-GROIN STRIKES!!! If you've ever been hit in the groin by anything, you'll know how effective they are. Good god, I'd die if I'd be hit in there. However, try not to kick... If you're too slow, there's the chance that you get off-balance, or when it isn't effective for some reason they could suddenly snap their legs shut and trap you, leaving you hopping on one foot. I hope I don't have to explain that that is a very dangerous 'stance' to fight with.
-The solar plexus-thing might be a bit dangerous to do, because if there are loads of muscles there, and ideally when your opponent tightens them when the hit lands, then you're in trouble, because it won't do very much then.
-The ribcage-ripping move in one of the above videos WORKS. Use it.
-Go for the throat or groin. Of course, don't just go for 'the groin', aim the blow in such a way to make his balls come out of his mouth.
-Use a head-strike (ideally a palm-strike with fingers outstreched to the eyes, maybe you could hit those to your great advantage), to distract your target. Don't try to use them to end a fight. If you've ever watched a boxing match then you know it doesn't work. So use them sparingly, as distraction for something bigger.
-Go for the throat or the groin (or that ribcage thing).
-Also: practise side-stepping, stepping out of the line of attack, stepping to the side of the opponent when he tries to hit you. If you've ever done boxing, then you know that remaining on the frontal-position is pretty much useless: you'll just be barraged with hits. In stead: side step and avoid a blow (ideally by controlling the opponents fist or arm as well). That way, when you do get attacked. It'll give you more opportunities to retaliate (a reverse hammerfist to the throat, or the ribcage-shredding move in an above video, for example)
It's murderous, believe me...
Rightyright... That's enough for now... That will be $45 dollars then!
Bye!
-CD
P.S. Crap... I just realized this thread wasn't about bullying at all... He just wanted to know how to fight...
Wow, Cryo, those are some crazy pressure points if they're real. I'll try to keep those in mind if I find myself in a mortal kombat tournament or something.
Sorry, even though you have your black belt or whatever in karate doesn't mean Mauy Thai is any less effective. I have a good number of friends extensively trained and anybody who attempts to fight them ends up bloodied and bruised. Mauy Thai fighters are deadly fighters. Making the assumption that the bully will just tackle or push is just that, an assumption. If you want something effective that is defensive against tackling or pushing, take Aikido.Quote:
Originally Posted by ninja9578
Recommending karate because you teach it... biiiiiaass.
If you're trying to win a fight, then go straight to the source: Ninjitsu. Most other martial arts attempt to teach a lifestyle. Ninjitsu teaches you how to kill.
And also teaches you to detect intentions from those around you, and teaches you to limit your defensive reactions so you dont kill someoneQuote:
Originally Posted by drewmandan
No no, this topic was about bullying. It's not the matter of if i'll get bullied, it's when. Thank you for all the help, that was amazing advice.Quote:
Originally Posted by CryoDragoon
Where did you get the impression that martial arts teaches a lifestyle? I do teach my students that they shouldn't only use martial arts when they have to and also the laws about reasonable force, but it's just busy talk while we stretch. My class is for self defense.Quote:
Originally Posted by drewmandan
Suffixes -jitsu and -do, represent the two classes separated in times of samurai and monk-hood.Quote:
Originally Posted by ninja9578
Jitsu, the technique.
Do, the art, the way, religiousness and morals were founding factors.
That doesn't mean that martial arts haven't changed in modern times, but there is a distinct difference that can be seen in general.
Those are quotes from the founder of Tae-kwon-do, and his proposed guidelines and philosophy "which will be the cornerstone of Taekwon-Do and by which all serious students of this art are encouraged to live".Quote:
Originally Posted by ClouD