Thread: Tell me if having a friend ask a girl out for me is a good idea

Bad. Very much so.

REALLY bad...

Do you even know the girl? Does the girl even know you? No? Then you're going to get rejected. Period.

I wouldn't have the same respect for someone who had someone else ask me versus someone who asked me himself. She might say yes, but it would be very awkward.

If you're worried about being rejected, don't even bother. Everyone gets rejected at some point in their lives, not just in the context of asking somenoe out. It's just something you'll have to get over when it happens.

Terrible, terrible idea. Passive aggressiveness is a turn off for everybody. You'll never impress anybody like that and you'll never learn to impress anybody.

I'm curious why you thought that this was a good idea in the first place. Whether it's to your face or through a friend, rejection is rejection. (And by the way, you are guaranteed rejection if you proxy through a friend.)

well i know its a bad idea and i havent ever even gone out with any girl before. There is this girl i am trying to figure out how i can meet at school right now, but i would NEVER tell anyone to ask her out for me, even though i dont even know her, but my friends know her.

If you don't know her well enough to ask her out, maybe you should get to know her a little better first. Are you guys friends? Maybe you should invite her to do something with a small group, first.

Really really bad idea.

Don't ask her out right a way, just find a way to get to know her. Talk to her!

Bad Idea. When i was in jumior high some girl went up to me and said "My friend blah, likes you and was wondering if you'll go out with her." To which i said . "How Am I supposed to go out with someone i don't know. and why can't she ask me herself?"

Originally Posted by Man of Shred

Bad Idea. When i was in jumior high some girl went up to me and said "My friend blah, likes you and was wondering if you'll go out with her." To which i said . "How Am I supposed to go out with someone i don't know. and why can't she ask me herself?"

See? It doesn't even work when girls do it for guys! That's got to say something.

I disagree with everyone here.

What's the situation? How do you know her? Do your friends know her? Are you in school together? Does she know who you are?

Originally Posted by Adam

I disagree with everyone here.

What's the situation? How do you know her? Do your friends know her? Are you in school together? Does she know who you are?

You think it's a good idea to ask a friend to ask a girl out for you?

...Would you have someone else ask your girlfriend to marry you as well?

No, capoopy. I don't think it's a good idea to have someone ask a girl out for you, any more than I think it's a good idea to send her a note saying "Will you go out with me? Circle One: Yes or No." It's the kind of thing that's cute when you're really young, and no one really knows any better, but if you are around the level of high school, you're going to have a hard time finding a girl who respects you for hiding behind a bush while someone else asks her out for you.

Originally Posted by capoopy

Well see, I really want to ask this girl out, but im afraid of getting rejected, so I considered asking my friend if he would ask her out for me. Is this a good idea or a really bad one?

You might as well send her a note saying, "I'm scared of you." It is about the worst approach possible. A woman wants a guy who makes her feel safe and secure. If you were shopping for a watch dog, would you choose one that runs away from you and hides under a table?

Uh, uh, u-NOOOOO!

Please don't do that. i'm asking you as a friend man, here you can borrow some of my steel balls. Go ahead they won't bite. Yes alright now then... get your ass over there and get to know her THEN AND ONLY THEN should you ask her out! understand?

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

You think it's a good idea to ask a friend to ask a girl out for you?

...Would you have someone else ask your girlfriend to marry you as well?

I never said it was a good idea... Where did I say that?

I thought that's what you were implying when you said "I disagree with everyone here," since everyone here was telling him it was a bad idea.

Nope, was saying what's the situation. I've had someone ask a girl for me, and as it turns out we were together for a very long time. As it happened the circumstances meant it was almost impossible for me to put the question to her directly...

Originally Posted by Adam

As it happened the circumstances meant it was almost impossible for me to put the question to her directly...

How so, if I might ask?

Well canoopy, I think your question has been answered.

My best advice: grow some hair on your peaches and ask her out yourself. If she rejects you, then just remember, "N-n-now that that don't kill me, can only make me stronger..."

Nah buddy dont do that. For one itll just make your first few minutes together way more awkward (not a good impression) and second why put yourself out there like that without knowing how she feels?
I know its kinda hard but go up to her and start a small convo, something really simple, like if shes reading a book youve read ask her what she thinks to it. Youll become more comfortable with each other after a few of these and start talking more. Then you can try to take it further. Shell have soo much more respect for you if you do it that way.

What you could do instead is have your friend invite her, plus you, plus some extras (for appearance's sake) over to his place to hang out. If the group's small enough, you'll get your chance to talk to her in a relaxed environment and then ask her out there. Or just focus on building a friendship first.

Well, everyone's already said it, but...

No.

Originally Posted by Replicon

How so, if I might ask?

This was about 12 years ago now, before the internet and mobile phones. There was a new girl who moved into our street, we didn't know her well, but spoken a few times. Anyway, one weekend I saw her out with these other friends from out of town, as I'd stopped to say hi and stuff, only like a 10 minute chat as they were busy.

Anyway, I asked the girl on my street if she thought her friend would be interested in maybe going out sometime, and if when she next saw her (wasn't for a while) to put the question to her, as I didn't even know if she'd remember me.

Turns out this girl did remember me and was happy for me to go see her and hang out, and it went from there