Thread: Tell Me About The Reasons (Deep) For Being Jealous

Well there could be a number of reasons...

Like the sense of losing something (or someone, like when you're dating)
Maybe it's a feeling of superierness, like you're jelous someone else has something you don't and you want it

Can you be a little more specific in what you're jelous about?

It's the ego... the source of so many of our problems. In western society we're brought up to believe the ego is the personality, and most people believe it is... but it's not. It's more like an armor we wear to hide our insecurities... acting tough and pretending nothing hurts us, hiding our vulnerability and sensitivity. The ego knows only 2 things... grasping and aversion.

Everything would be so much better if only...

I had a better job

I didn't have to work

I was married

I wasn't married

I lived in a big city

I lived in the countryside

But when we get these things we're still not happy, because the ego doesn't know how to be happy. It always wants something ELSE.

In Buddhism you learn to stop letting the ego control you. It takes time and effort, but you can ease those constant nagging voices and the emotional judgements. Learn not to judge... learn not to place your happiness on material things or other people. Learn to go with the flow... only the present moment matters... if you worry about the future that leads to anxiety and stress... worry about the past that leads to regret. Only the NOW matters.

By practicing mindfulness of these principles you can learn to let go of the ego and its iron fisted rule.

If this sounds interesting to you, look into mindfulness or buddhism. Here's a free PDF download of a fantastic book on mindful meditation (the way to achieve freedom from the ego) called Mindfulness in Plain English - considered one of the finset books written on the subject: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

It's worth looking into, even if you don't want to start meditating... just understanding the power the ego has over us and how to avoid it is a life-changing event.

Another way... very similar really, is to start reading some Carlos Castaneda books... especially the first, Teachings of Don Juan. The basic philosophy of shamanism as don Juan teaches it is very much like Buddhism... learning to stop letting emotions control you or letting other people's opinions affect you. He calls it the Way of the Warrior, and it's a great thing to understand and practice. I've been studying both, and I find it very liberating. In fact, once I really began to understand these ideas, which are still very prevalnet in the non-western (non-modern) world, I was pissed that my society doesn't teach or even value them.

Wow, yeah, thanks. It's been killing me all my life: all this. I know I have TONS of insecurities, I can't even let myself live!

It probably stems from insecurity. What sort of insecurity? Well, the kind where you are looking at the world from a scarcity standpoint, instead of an abundance standpoint.

You could be a weak, unattractive person without talents or desirable traits. Naturally, you want what people like me have.

You should improve yourself to not feel insecure or continue being inadequate and inferior.

Jealousy is essentially:

Desire to Obtain an Object (be it money, a possession, a characteristic, a woman) in relation to someone Other that has said Object.

Solution?

Obtain said Object from said Other, Desire something new. Repeat.

Solved.

Originally Posted by Replicon

It probably stems from insecurity. What sort of insecurity? Well, the kind where you are looking at the world from a scarcity standpoint, instead of an abundance standpoint.

You've hit something

Originally Posted by Grod

You could be a weak, unattractive person without talents or desirable traits. Naturally, you want what people like me have.

You should improve yourself to not feel insecure or continue being inadequate and inferior.

You mean you think I'm inferior to you because you think I'm not talented?
Okay, your pov.

But I do have lots of talents & I'm quite attractive (not only on the exterior side) that is why it surprises me. I feel like a brat.

Originally Posted by undeadjellybean

You mean you think I'm inferior to you because you think I'm not talented?
Okay, your pov.

But I do have lots of talents & I'm quite attractive (not only on the exterior side) that is why it surprises me. I feel like a brat.

False. I said you could be that kind of person.

Perhaps a talent to focus on would be reading comprehension. Zing.

Originally Posted by Grod

False. I said you could be that kind of person.

Perhaps a talent to focus on would be reading comprehension. Zing.

Okay, thanks for clearing that out.

Yeah, no. I prefer music

Prefer music to what.

Basic reading skills.

You need to straighten out your priorities, son.

Get your life together again. Get back on the wagon. Lay off the sauce for a while. Skip town. Get a new job. A new girl. Come back a changed man.

And it starts today.

Get a haircut.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

Prefer music to what.

Basic reading skills.

I *think* I have them already. We all make assumptions once in our lives at least.
But yeah, I'd still prefer music to basic reading skills.

That's insanity.

Insanity.

Multi-media is the way to go. All mediums of artistic expression appreciated.

Jealous of my world outlook? You should be.

I've never been completely sane.

It's a good one, but not really. If I had your outlook of life there'd be two of us. & who wants two equal people when you can have two different people?

Originally Posted by undeadjellybean

who wants two equal people when you can have two different people?

Apppppppreciation of differences implies you have no reason to be jealous. Once you stop seeing everyone as being better or worse, richer or poorer, then you lose concept of jealousy. People are just all different.

ALL IS SORTED. BOOM.

I think our work here is done. And yeah, I'm taking partial credit for this.

I just like making people happy.

I just like concluding things with BOOM.

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

Apppppppreciation of differences implies you have no reason to be jealous. Once you stop seeing everyone as being better or worse, richer or poorer, then you lose concept of jealousy. People are just all different.

ALL IS SORTED. BOOM.

Hey, you made me answer my one question. Clever. Thanks a lot btw

Could you maybe give an example that would be typical of your situation?
I guess there are many reasons for jealousy and different types of it, too.

i think jealously pretty much comes down to something you dont have .

I.E - you see a guy driving a nice car - you cant afford it .
See smoking hot boy or girl - and your not

That's not jealousy - that's envy. Jealousy is when you get all paranoid and suspicious that your partner is getting too friendly with other people. Is that the situation you're talking about Undead?