Drawing a line. (My descent into the world of Lucid Dreams.(again))

Reality, like art, means drawing a line. -Oscar Wilde

Alright, so I've had an entire whole TWO! lucid dreams in my life. Hehe, but of course those two wonderful moments sparked an ever present interest. However, after life gave me a few hard kicks in the rump I haven't had time or energy to keep up with my progress.

Both of my LDs were brought on by DILD, but I had also been attempting WILDs at the time. I was younger, therefore less patient. So I made all the mistakes they tell you not to make. I attempted WILDs before sleeping, I did my RCs sporadically(though thankfully they got through to my subconcious eventually)...anyways the whole point is that I'm back. Older, wiser(a bit) and much more patient. For the past week I've been attempting WILDs, with sleep beforehand. So far I've reached a point where I think I could've moved into a dream, but I ended up getting overly excited and ruining it.

So, mostly for my own incentive and responsibility to keep up with this I am making a thread for myself.

I've been doing a lot of research again, trying to get myself into the LDing mode. So here is exactly what I've been doing.

For DILDs:
I've been doing RCs randomly, and particularly when I do anything frequently. Such as turn on my computer, get in my car, smoke a cigarette, take a shower, look in a mirror, turn on and off the lights...ect. Things I do everyday and that I see in my dreams alot. I have a tendency to look in mirrors during my dreams, even when not lucid, so I've been paying special attention to that.
Luckily I have very good dream recall no matter what I'm doing, and it only heightens when I'm attemtping LDs. I can often remember my dreams as if I were actually there. I can remember my feelings on what was happening at the time. It's proving helpful in reminding myself to do RCs. For instance when I'm driving I remember to look around and make sure I'm not dreaming because a lot of my dreams happen in cars, or in parking lots.

For WILDS:
This one is tricky because there are SO SO SO many tutorials and they all jumble together.
What's proven most effective for me at the moment is to sleep between 5-8 hours(I haven't found the best time just yet but it's in that range). I wake up, usually use the bathroom, and then stumble back to bed.
I have discovered that I am the sort of person who needs to wake up more. I.e. turn on a light, drink some water, stretch, focus on something. If I don't I am just too tired to care about WILDing.
Now, for the technique I find if I get comfortable enough then staying perfectly still doesn't prove a problem. (Meaning I don't have to focus too hard to stay really still because it's the position I would normally go to bed in.)
I try to find an anchor, as some of tutorials have described as something to passively pay attention to so as to keep concious. I've tried focusing on external things.(the way my leg feels pressed up against the bed, the sound of air coming through the crack in the window.) It doesn't seem to be too much more effective than passively reminding myself to 'stay aware' or repeating 'I will lucid dream'. So I just kind of go with what feels right at the time.
The farthest I've gotten to were passing visuals, sounds/songs/voices, flashes of light, ect.
I've also had a very different experience where, without the sounds and visuals, I had an intense vibrating, numbness, a feeling of being lifted and pulled and strangest of all my television was going with the volume very very low but still audible, and at the most intense moments of this strange pulling and floating I could hear my television sound farther away and eventually I couldn't hear it at all. Though I got overexcited and the noise rushed back and my body relaxed. I don't know what all of that meant, but it was interesting either way.

So these are my experiences thus far. I will be posting updates as often as possible with dreams I've recalled and how far I got with my WILDs. Also, as I've had success with DILDS before, I'm hoping to get a few LDs that way. It's mostly a back up in case my WILDs fail.

If you guys want to ask me about specifics, or better yet, give advice I'd greatly appreciate it. Also, remember I just got back into about a week ago. I currently have a lot of time on my hands because I'm inbetween school and work. I'm hoping to at least start having frequent LDs before I start working, that way I'll have some motivation to continue WILDing.

Good luck on everyone else's quest for lucidity, I only hope mine leads me somewhere as well.

December 9,
My first night went alright, and I did notice a few specific things. First I'll record my dreams and then what I discovered during my WILD attempt(s).

Dream 1: This was was much like a nightmare to me, though the premise doesn't sound so incredibly terrifying. It's a deeply rooted fear I have ever since I almost severely hurt myself in a drunk driving incident. The realization that I had done damage(minor) to my car, had hit my head on the steering wheel and could've possibly hurt someone else. Luckily there was no one around and I have not since gone anywhere near a car after any amount of booze.

Anyways, in my dream I am in a parking lot. It appears to be outside a Fred Myers. If you guys don't know what that is it's sort of like a Walmart. There are a lot of cars in the parking lot, and I appear to be driving my dad's blue truck. My sister is in the passenger side and she's very tired. I feel foggy, unclear...I suppose it most resembles intoxication. Snow begins to pile up on the outside of the windows and windshield. I can't see but I keep driving. We're suddenly spinning and I feel as though we've hit something. Somehow I park. The dream becomes a bit jumbled and suddenly I am exiting the store and walking back over to the car. I'm still 'intoxicated' and so I get in the passenger seat. My sister IRL is sixteen with no license, but in the dream I ask her to drive but she is so tired I feel a huge wave of anxiety. I imagine police, broken cars, car accidents...horrific events. I wake up in my bed with my heart pounding and I realize I had been crying out in my sleep. Thankfully I didn't wake my family. After this dream I didn't feel like WILDing but I gave it a halfhearted shot to no avail. Also, I noted that I went to sleep around 3:30 am and when I woke up from the dream it was about 4:47 am. Not so much time had elapsed. Will have to look into that.

Dream 2: It's important, before I write out this dream that you guys understand that I used to do a lot of drugs, especially as a younger teenager. 13-16. So this dream kind of reflects that.
What I can remember of the beginning it sort of starts that I am inside what is clearly a Walmart. (That used to be a regular stop off of mine when I was running around as a teen, as Walmart was right across from the mall.) I run into some boys who appear to be 14ish, what would seem to have been my age in the dream. One of them is very cute and we start talking. I decide to go with them to a party. (This unsafe practice happened often when I was younger.) They decide we're going to steal some stuff and go up into the roof. My grandmother IRL works at Walmart so she shows after I've stuffed some things into my jacket. I feel incredibly guilty, so I take the things I was going to steal out of my jacket after she's gone and I set them down before heading to the 'roof' area where I was supposed to meet the boys. I sneak into the roof by a set of stairs I pull out of some random, seemingly obvious spot. I crawl up there and suddenly I'm in a darkened hallway. It's narrow, sort of like a maze. After running around I find the two boys and was head off, but I decide to play and start running from them. I turn a corner and see security coming after me. I sprint off in a different direction and barely escape, but I don't find the boys.
There is a lapse in awareness, or otherwise there is no transition.
I am in one of the two boy's houses. It's actually a trailer in my old trailer park, across the street from mine. We're in his room and he hands me a needle and a small pouch of drugs. (Strangely I've never shot up, but it all seems very normal to me. He says it's meth. I think this part of the dream comes from my friend telling she tried shooting up a few weeks ago and that it's better than smoking. I told her I don't shoot up and I haven't smoked in a long time, but the urge to try it was not exactly fleeting. I didn't, but it's interesting that it carried over into my dreams.) I shoot up and I feel something familiar to what I know it's like to smoke it, but the needle breaks off the syringe and is lost in my arm. I'm trying to get it out while the boy gets into a fight with his father in the other room. I manage to push the needle back out and put it back on the syringe when the boy comes in, complaining about his dad. I say I'll txt his dad and tell him to calm down. So I do, and it seems his father starts throwing a tantrum outside the door, mumbling and banging the walls. Me and the boy curl up on the bed to ignore it.
Another lapse in dreamscript.
I am walking a girl out to my car, but I realise my car is gone. I shrug at her and mention my parents must have picked it up to go to work. I tell her she can come to my house if she wants. We walk across the street to my trailer(IRL, it is the last place my family lived before moving into the house.) We go into my trailer and it is, strangely, exactly and I remember it. My dad is in the hallway. He's drunk. He plays air guitar before he realizes I have a friend behind me. He stares at her with a very unnerving expression before I wake up in my bed feeling incredibly strange about the entire dream.

After this dream I attempted one more WILD, I managed to pick an anchor. Btw, before I started I used the restroom. Anyways, I tried to focus passively on the anchor but I ended up falling asleep.

I think my failed WILDs came from the fact that I was too tired to do all the things to wake me up. I only turned on one light and only for a second. I got right back in bed. I need to make myself wander upstairs, drink a bit of water, wake up a tad. I just get too tired! As a person I sleep an incredible amount when I don't have things to do. A lot. Like 10-14 hours. I don't get it.

Wow, you have a good recall.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by elucid

Wow, you have a good recall.

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Yeah, sadly it doesn't translate into a natural ability to LD. D:

But maybe tonight will yield better results.

December 10,
K, so last night I didn't expect anything too eventful as I had a few beers with a friend before bed. I set my alarm to wake up 5 hours later and hoped that'd be enough to WILD. Instead I woke up and was too cold, then too hot, then I wasn't tired enough, then I wasn't comfortable. This went on for awhile. I came really close to getting to SP a few times but I would move around or get distracted. Basically I wasn't focused enough. But I do recall my dream all too clearly. I had some unfocused vague dream in the night before my alarm, I think it was something World of Warcraft related. Either way I don't remember it, but the dream after is what I remember.

Dream: I am at some sort of fair/carnival thing. It seems we're in a desert, red rocky kind of area. (I've never been out of Alaska, so I just know the terrain was weird.) My family is there and we're watching strange creatures climb along the rocks. They resemble wolves.(I remember coming very close to thinking it strange that these things with there padded paws could be climbing around so easily, but my mind took care of it for me by inventing some kind of explanation. I think it was that they had rougher pads and bigger claws because they were rock climbing wolves. X_X) I turn to see my cousin running towards me.(He's much younger than I am, about eight.) He runs towards me across a field where people are having a picnic. He's pointing towards the sunset yelling about the world ending and 2012. Everyone suddenly seems concerned, by they just look at my like I'm not supposed to talk about it to little kids.(I don't IRL believe in 2012, but in my dream it seemed to be plausible.) For some reason in my dream I am well aware that the world is going to end and for some reason in 2012 the sun is going to go away forever. He reaches me and I pull him to the grass to sit down and watch the sunset. I dont say anything about the end of the world and just pretend it's not happening.
Suddenly I'm up, I wander over to the bigger part of the fair. There's booths and things, but people's cars are parked randomly throughout. There's a steady flow of people, and I run into a guy who(IRL I've never seen) but who in the dream I seem to recognize him. We get in his car, which is parked in a strange spot. It's a black jeep/boxy sort of car with a bigger back seat area. It's pretty beat up and we just kind of crawl in the back to smoke cigarettes and hang out. We start making out and I clearly remember do things of...a sexual nature which I won't describe. Anyways, in the middle of the act I hear the guy laughing so I look at him and he's looking at the back window, where his friend is peeping at us. I laugh, but get dressed anyways. We smoke and as I'm bored I start sifting through photos he has laying around the back of his car. They are photos of his friends and parties, a lot of girls. I recall being jealous that the girls are thinner than me, but I find a photo of a girl. She's pretty, she's hispanic, and in the photo she's smiling and holding two sodas as though one is for the her and she's handing the other to the person holding the camera. In the photo behind it is a picture of the same girl but she has throat cancer and she looks incredibly ill. I feel very sad for her, but I'm pulled out of my thoughts because the guy I'm laying with mentions that my sister is looking for me. The windows in the car aren't blacked out and she's coming closer. I am embarrassd because I don't want her to see me in the car with some guy, but she spots me anyways and scowls. She just shakes her head and wanders off. I start to tell the guy that I need to go out and pick up more smokes when my mom pops up looking for me as well. I'd rather not have her see me too, but she spots me anyways and comes over to tell me we're leaving soon.
I wake up.

For some reason I noticed that I wasn't meant to be younger in this dream and that the sort of guy I ended up with was completely different from the other dream. This guy is older, 21-25. He's kind of a jerk but I'm still attracted to him. Our entire encounter is about sex. In the other dream, though we used together, there was no sex or making out, just holding eachother and talking. And my subconcious in both dreams seemed to tell me to quit doing bad things. I.e. losing the needle in my arm and having to dig it out, or the photos about the girl with cancer from smoking. I find it strange...it's just weird seeing myself in two completely different lights.

Anyways, aside from the dream being really interesting I didn't have any success with my WILD attempt and I didn't become aware during my dream or do any RCs, but I have still been doing them throughout the day and I'm hoping they start to carry over and hopefully my WILDs become more eventful.

December 13,
WILD attempts last night failed. I think this is due to the last two nights of drinking. I didn't sleep a lot so I was very tired. Last night my dream recall wasn't so great, but I did remember one dream very clearly. I woke up to my alarm for WILDing but was too tired each time and when I finally did attempt to WILD but I think I had slept too much because I couldn't focus and my mind was racing. Anyways, I've posted up sticky notes reminding me to RC. I put them on my door, by the light switch, by my bed and on the mirror. I've also written RC on my hands. I can only hope that if my WILD attempts keep proving uneventful that I can at least have some spontaneous DILDs. WILD is of course the most alluring method of LDing, but DILD makes enough sense as a backup. So long as I can induce an LD I'll be satisfied. Out of the only OBE and the two LDs I've had, I have an undying curiosity. I just wish I was a natural at this. -.-

Like it was said in my favorite scene of Inception: There's nothing quite like it..

The dream I can remember: I am in highschool. It's weird because I haven't been in highschool for two years, and for two years before that I haven't actually been in school. In my dream I seem to think I need one more year to get my diploma. I am in school with girls I went to cosmetology school with. I don't find it strange that they are there. I remember being frustrated and angry because I have no idea where any of my classes are and I keep getting scolded for being late. I remember going to an english class, and going to a japanese class. At lunch I kept trying to go smoke a cigarette but I kept getting distracted. I remember freaking out because I realize that I do have a diploma and that I have no reason to be there, but instead of freaking out or leaving I run into my homeschool teacher who seems to be telling me how good I'm doing or something. I figure if my teacher thinks I need to be in highschool that it must be true.

I guess there were not a lot of dream signs. I don't recall opening a lot of doors, having to turn a light on or off and I didn't look in a mirror. I'm just hoping the more I RC the better my chances will be. Especially since I've been doing RCs each time I wake up or even get out of bed. Also, aside from the sticky notes, I have put a water fountain thing next to my bed. I'm hoping to use the sound of running water as an anchor. I also have my ipod and a pair of speakers for it next to my bed. If the water anchor doesn't work very well the next few nights I'll try some ambience or something.

I will do it! I can only hope all my trying leads to me more frequent LDs, and maybe some of my trying will help others.
(on another note I'm trying to eat better and take my vitamins. I don't know if it will help, but I can't imagine it can hurt.)

No luck yet guys. So far none of my dreamsigns have popped up and it just hasn't sparked that I'm dreaming.
Not to mention my recall seems to be declining. I still remember at least one dream a night and some pieces from other dreams, but it's nowhere near as vivid. I have no clue why, but hopefully my dream recall stays kind of steady and doesn't disappear completely.

My WILD attempt at the beginning of the night actually was the most eventful I've had. I actually got to a point where my bed was shaking and I thought I might have actually done it. But my sister starting making some dumb noise outside my room and I was pulled back. I did a few RCs to be sure and then ended up just going to bed.

Of course in the middle of the night something weird happened and I woke up feeling really really ill and nauseas. So I spent an hour or two being sick in the bathroom and laying in bed trying to grin and bear the pain. WILDing was the last thing on my mind and I ended up falling asleep. I did remember a few dreams, but mostly bits and pieces, not enough to write down.

Hopefully tonight will go better because I'm really hoping I don't get sick again. My family has had a stomach flu but I thought I had dodged it. Anyways, I've been attempting each night and I'm just hoping that soon I will have some sort of luck. I can't remember how long it took me to have my first LD but I remember nearly giving up.

I am also trying to pay incredible attention to my surrounds and how I got where I am whenever I RC.

Maybe tonight will go better.

No attempt tonight.
My dreams were riddled with strange things. Parties, smoking, men choking me, bicycles.

I can't even begin to put it into words.

I woke up with a sore throat and I was tired beyond beliefs. I don't know how this is possible. I sleep on average 12 hours a night. How is this possible?

Tonight my plan is to set my alarm for 6.5 hours after sleep. I am going to put my full focus on WILDing. My attempts have gotten me pretty close, but I fall asleep just as SP gets really weird and intense and HI starts. Today I've taken cold medicine so we'll see how that affects my attempts.
So far nothing in my dreams has triggered my silly subconcious to look around and stabilize.

Soon my friends. It's only been about two weeks. Lol. I am making progress each night, I think, in finding the right conditions and the right amount of sleep. And seeing dream signs.

Nothing. In fact when I woke up to do my WILD attempt I couldn't even give up and fall back asleep, I just layed in bed for about an hour and a half.

I must admit, I grow discouraged. But today I took a break. I didn't RC all the time and I didn't check the forums all day. Maybe a bit of a break from LD will give my mind a chance to sort things out. It's only been two weeks anyways.

Tonight I will try again. This time on 5 hours of sleep exactly. I'll find my magic number, so help me.

I have felt like I've gotten a lot closer to WILDing than I had. My dreams are still scattered and much less vivid, but my dreamsigns are becoming clearer in my head than before.
We will see.

I notice that you do alot of WILDs, I personally try them every night, I am hoping to master it to a point of having one a night. What I have noticed is that the most important part of a WILD is the passivity of the person so that he/she should not get too involved but passively be aware of the back of your eyelids (where you see the colors) and have some patience. With these two, you should hopefully become successful.

good luck.

Thanks. I am still trying, and still failing.
I am trying to put a lot more emphasis on my daily RCs, really honest to god questioning how I got where I am and if I know what's going on.
It hasn't really helped.
I didn't attempt WILD last night because I was drunk, therefore I was passed out. Tonight I will attempt again. I guess with my WILDs I just haven't found that perfect middle ground yet.

Try this as 50% of people have a lucid or OBE within 3 days of practice. 75% within a week. As you have the time off then it is a perfect method to gain experience in. It is the easiest most accesible method I have come across yet http://www.dreamviews.com/f79/how-ha...t-wild-106427/

Thank you for the suggestion. I will try it. Anything is good at this point.

But seeing as how I've been paying a lot more attention to my dreams I've started to see them for how interesting they can be as well. So I've just trying to take everything slow.

Last night I had a dream that I was flying, and I remember thinking 'Wow, I'm flying. Most people only dream of doing this, I should really appreciate it." And I didn't become lucid. -.-

I think last night I got as close as I've ever been to a WILD, but it ended without an LD. I did get SP and strange noises, numbness, a feeling like I was being pulled somewhere, and I started to see flashes of images. I think I'm getting closer to finding the perfect amount of conciousness, but I keep losing it.
I'll try again tonight.
Still no LDs, but I'm hoping for one. And I hope once I get that feeling of dreaming again I try to hold onto it, so maybe my awareness will be different when my WILDs fail. I might spark some LDs later on.