WILD (Finally, progress... how close am I?)
I was trying WILD again this morning, but I think I've hit a new breakthrough. Here's how it went (took a while cause my gf was rustling around and stuff haha):
As I was relaxing, I eventually started feeling some tingling in my fingertips and forearms. It was kinda warm, and I suppose like slight numbness (similar to what I'd feel if I were cutting off circulation at my elbows, but given the position I was in on my back, that isn't likely). I don't think it was sleep paralysis though, cause I've felt that before, and I know I can still move when that happens. Is it just my arm forgetting where it is from not moving for a long time, or is it part of the initial phases of the body getting ready to get to sleep?
Eventually, I started having dream fragments or something. Kinda like daydreaming, except more like a dream because I didn't have control over stuff, but I THINK I was still aware enough to control my breathing. It's a bit of a blur now. I pseudo-dreamt that I was playing catch with my gf. And that I could never catch the ball. And then these guys showed up and started teasing or soemthing (but I don't think I heard them talk, it was really like a daydream). But then, I started to beat them up or something, and I guess taking control of it increased my awareness, because that's when the vibrations started. Is this normal? It feels like a lot of the times when the vibrations start, I'm dreaming lightly. I don't know if I'm aware all throughout, or if I become aware when the vibrations come and kick me out of the dreamery state (and back into hypnagogic imagery)....
The vibrations came the same way they always do... making any concrete imagery go away, and then putting me back into a hypnagigic imagery only state, and then disappearing after maybe 5 seconds... But then (NEW PROGRESS STUFF), I stayed lying there and stayed focused, and was hit by a second wave of vibrations, which felt somewhat stronger than the first (and my ear muscles tensed a lot more this time). But then, THOSE eventually wore off, and I lost concentration and awoke (did RCs... twas a real awakening hehe).
So, here are the funny things, not sure if they're signs that I'm doing things right. Lemme know:
- When initially concentrating (before getting dream fragments), I tend to see very weak HI (texts I've read liken it to pressin g your fingers against your eyelids, but when you do that, you get BRIGHT flashes... mine, at this point, are very subtle, to the point where I'm not sure if I'm actually seeing them, or just pretending it's the case (then again, I bet that's what makes them appear to begin with).
- By the time I get vibrations, I seem to be almost dreaming, as if I had fallen asleep and lost consciousness, but then when they kick in, they wake me up or something.
- When I get vibrations, all dream fragments disappear, and all I see is HI (though much nicer ones, involving more shapes and geometry, and more movement).
- With the vibrations, I only feel the "electric shock" portion... I don't actually see anything, and I don't actually hear any noise/buzzing/voices... It's like I'm lying there, while being electrocuted. The first time it happened, when I lucked out, I heard loud buzzing.
So... yeah... how close do you suppose I am, really? =)
