Its impossible!

Hey everybody!
First i want so say english is not my native language so expect some errors :)
So im kind of losing my motivation of Lucid dreaming.I beginned 2013 and had been doing it for 6 to 5 Months and at a moment i just stopped doing reality checks and writing into my Dream journal.3 Months ago i found my dream journal and looked at my dreams and laughed alot :).I convinced myself to try it again.Now after 3 Months i still havent got any results.Before i gave up i did every Method on Internet i could find .I did reality checks, looked at my hand,woke up at 4am and after 30 minutes i get back to sleep and so on.So i looked up on the forums and most people seem to have Lucid dreams.I even asked my friends and everyone of them has up to 1-3 Lucids dreams a month without even training it or something.I know some people do better and some people dont , but it seems that most people just can Lucid dream and i dont.I just dont do reality checks even in my dream confronts me with a Lucid dream topic.Once i had a dream where me and my friends talked about lucid dreaming .My friend asked ,,yeah lets do that reality check thingie,,.We did it and laughed about how silly it was and even though he said that i didnt do any reality checks.
What is my Problem?Well its not the confidence because in the first week i heard of Lucid dreaming i got so super excited.Every break at school i talked nonstop about Lucid dreaming .At night sometimes i was so excited it took me reeeeally long to actually sleep.At morning i always woke up dissapointed but in School i still talked nonstop to my friends about Lucid dreaming.
Im really thinking this is leading nowhere.
Thanks for reading and i hope i havent done so many mistakes ^^

How good is your dream recall? Because if your dream recall is bad you have little to no chance of getting a lucid dream, as you don't know your dream signs and how a dream really feels like. I've been practicing non-stop for more than a month and i still haven't had a lucid dream yet but only now is my dream recall good. You need to at least remember 2-3 dreams per night in good detail to have a high chance of becoming lucid in one. You also need to try different techniques such as MILD, WBTB and WILD and definitely try ADA. Just search around the forum for tips. But you really need to practice your dream recall until its really good until you can properly try lucid dreaming/have a good chance of having them. Don't quit you will get there in the end!! :lol:

I think worrying a lot and trying too hard to get a LD actually makes it a lot harder. I've noticed from my own experience that usually the things you worry about or think a lot about become your dreams. So let's say you're worried about passing your exam, you'll dream about it. Or you're trying really hard at a video game, you'll end up dreaming about it. Or if you worry and try really hard to lucid dream; you'll dream about it.

But obviously you don't want to dream about having a LD, you want to actually have one. Try NOT thinking about LDing, stop worrying about it, stop trying really hard to achieve it. Think about something else, for example think about remembering your dreams (just remembering) and think about how life seems like a dream sometimes (do a reality check). But try not to actually think about how you really, really want a LD.

The brain seems to be funny that way, it likes to sabotage you when you try too hard at something.

When I started out on lucid dreaming in early 2010 I also found it hard to become lucid.
There were several reasons for that - first of all, I was nowhere near as serious as I am today, and my attitude was basically "well it would be cool to become lucid tonight", but I didn't actually give myself the optimal chances to get lucid dreams.
Then one year later, in late 2011, I started to fully realize what I should do to give myself the best chances, and I would summarize the steps towards lucidity like this:

*Write down your dreams in as much detail as you can
This is important for many reasons - first of all, it trains your ability to remember dreams - which is obviously vital if you want to remember your lucid dreams!
Secondly, it makes you more familiar with what your dreams are like, and gives you better chances to prepare yourself to recognize them;
for example, if you often dream about a certain place or person then you call tell yourself "next time I see X, I am going to check if I am dreaming" - regardless of whether you "know" you are awake or not.
The third reason for writing down your dreams is that the habitual dream journaling in the mornings can actually make you start dreaming about waking up - this is usually called False Awakenings, which in my mind are perfect opportunities to become lucid, just make it a habit to always double-check if you might be dreaming every time you wake up and you will eventually catch a dream like that.

*Practice Reality Checks and improve your prospective memory
This step is simple, but also very important;
pick random targets that you try to notice during the days, and ask yourself honestly if you might be dreaming as soon as you spot them.
These targets can be anything - personally, today I used the targets "next time I see someone with a red jacket", "next time I see my mirror reflection", "next time I taste something delicious" and "next time I feel heat or cold".
Those targets are very reliable in that they often happen, and you should pick targets like that.
Notice that this practice also trains your ability to remember future tasks - if you decide that you are going to spot these targets, then you will also become better at remembering to spot dreamsigns during actual dreams.

*Feel excited!
In my opinion, any kind of frustration while practicing lucid dreaming is a warning sign of possible "burnout";
if you feel frustrated you should either take a break, or try to rekindle that special feeling of excitement that first got you interested in lucid dreaming.
What do you want to experience in a lucid dream?
Think about that a lot during the days, and look forward to it!
I have found that watching long interviews with Stephen LaBerge or Robert Waggoner tends to be very motivating, and luckily there are several such videos on YouTube. :)

I will tell you, I was at the same point you are now when I found Dream Views. Although, I had only been trying for a month. Kudos to you for sticking it out for so long without getting results. I had read that it usually takes months or sometimes even years to get proficient. Years?!? Who on earth could fail that long and keep the motivation to continue? Certainly not me.
Anyway, I have just started having some success and I thought I would throw my two cents in.
Here are the things that I have done that have made a difference for me.

1. Work on my prospective memory, that is to say, work on remembering things without using some external device like a phone, or something to remind me. Steven Laberge gives some good tips and lists of things to try to remember in one of his books. The point is that you don't have something to remind you to do reality checks when you are sleeping, so getting good at remembering just because you intend to is helpful.

2. Give up alcohol, or at least cut down, I never dream after a night of heavy drinking.

3. I gave up facebook and twitter and now spend the time I used to spend on those sites, either on this site, or reading about LD, or listening to podcasts about LD. Making it a central part of life has helped.

4. no TV before bed. This might just be me, but my dreams are all dark and fuzzy if I end the night vegged out on the couch. I have better results if I read before bed. Maybe because my mind stays active.

5. Try MILD if you haven't. The mantras/repetitive reminders after I WBTB have made a difference for me.

that is my two cents. Good luck!

Welcome to DV, dengybgib!

I humbly suggest that you look over my thread, called Lucid Dreaming Fundamentals. I also suggest you read through the DV tutorials for DILD, MILD, and WILD, if you haven't done so already. Getting a copy of Stephen LaBerge's Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming would be most helpful as well.

Successful lucid dreaming is about a whole lot more than just doing RC's or keeping a dream journal. Both of these things, as well as doing Wake Back To Bed (WBTB) are important in their own right, but they are by no means enough. Lucid Dreaming is a state of mind, and you must get your mind in the right place to be successful; and that can take a bit of work.

So be patient, do some research, work on those fundamentals, and get your mind ready for the trip. I look forward to reading about what you eventually discover!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by strumlifeaway

4. no TV before bed. This might just be me, but my dreams are all dark and fuzzy if I end the night vegged out on the couch. I have better results if I read before bed. Maybe because my mind stays active.

---

Completely true to me as well, i need to read a fiction book before bed to put my mind in a creative mindset. Also what i do these days while reading is to really visualize what I'm reading, I try and put myself in the book. It really helps with WILD's and generally visualizing things :) But yeah reading before bed has a great influence on your dreams.

The times I've managed to fall asleep thinking about something (just lightly enough so that I could still fall asleep, but enough so that it seemed "real"), those things ended up appearing in my dreams that very night. I think that's a good thing to work on (dream incubation), and even if you're not getting lucid (yet), you enjoy your dreams! You can do it during the day, too.

I'll say that I worked really hard on dream recall and spent a great deal of waking energy and attention on LD matters, both researching good resources (and then reading them, and then forming a practice built around them), and my dream recall went from basically nothing to as much as 16 different scenes in a single night (4 wakings with 4 scenes apiece) fairly quickly. I don't have that much recall all the time, but when I'm well-rested and properly motivated, I can achieve that level. Those dream filled nights became more and more common. Then after one month I got my first DILD, which was amazing.

The dreams alone were worth the effort, but of course the lucids are absolutely amazing, especially the multi-minute ones. So it's worth the effort.

The big lesson about sleeping and dreaming is that nobody can do it for you/help you much. Oh sure, you can get lots of advice, but only you can honestly self-evaluate whether you're doing all that you can. When I felt like my progress was not what I wanted, I had to just look myself in the mirror and (other than say "I'm dreaming!", of course..) ask myself: am I doing *everything* that I can do? And the honest answer was: "nope..." (the biggest for me is a consistent sleep schedule. Seems so easy, but 5 months into it and I still can't manage to pull it off).

So I'd ask you: are you *really* doing all you can? Waking up multiple times per night and recalling and recording? Trying every night to remember more and more of each dream? Journaling *every single day* without fail?

I know it's hard to stay positive when the results aren't coming in like you'd like. But the way to success is to stay positive.

Give yourself a firm and serious timeline (like a year) that you will dedicate yourself to doing your best to lucid dream, and really try for that entire period.

Join the DV competitions. I've had just a little less than half of all my LDs during competitions, or immediately thereafter!

Stay positive, *know* you can, and really enjoy all that dream recall that's coming your way. By the way, dreaming about lucid dreaming was the signal that my first DILD was really close (about a week away), gab correctly called that one :).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FryingMan

The big lesson about sleeping and dreaming is that nobody can do it for you/help you much. Oh sure, you can get lots of advice, but only you can honestly self-evaluate whether you're doing all that you can.

---

I totally agree!

What an awesome thread guys! I love the advice on here.

It's only impossible if you believe it's impossible. You make it out as if it's impossible and your mind will think the same and lose focus.

i need to look into the competitions! I set goals, but tend to forget them, I feel like that might help. Thanks!!