strange first lucid experience..
The other morning I went back to sleep after doing some morning duties and I fell asleep at around 8am, what is to come continued for around 2 hours. So, at first the dream took me to a very small, simple white room that had a few tables in, I recognised myself as being at the restaurant I used to work at even though it looks completely different and suddenly all four tables were full of people in a busy, hurried mood. I went behind a small white screen and gathered the tools I'd need to introduce them to the restaurant and went to the table. Two customers were ignoring me as I tried to explain the menu and I lost my temper, after I shouted at them to listen as I spoke I realised I was dreaming and looked at my palm (I have a small H at the centre which I use as my reality check) and the H was turning into a black hole and kind of bleeding. I then, attaining lucidity, went blind in the dream. This happened throughout the next few sequences of the dream. It was like somebody was pulling my lids down tight but I could still see the outsides of the vision. Now why this makes sense to me is because I have been attaining shamanic drumming groups lately attempting to do shamanic journeying which involves, the way to get 'in' to the realm is to envisage a hole in the ground or some other doorway down into the earth. I have problems with visualising and it's always confounded me as 'seeing in your mind' has always confused me, I know it's; hypothetical, but it always frustrates me that I over analyse when attempting to do so, but this conscious, egoic frustration must have been triggered awake in the dream to 'blind me' as I became lucid, and just wondering if anybody out there has had anything similar? Their own doubts from waking practice hindrancing their lucid experiences?
