A crack guide to easy lucidity...

Note: This is for desperate dreamers who kinda want a taste of what lucidity feels like. Reality checks are VITAL to this technique. If you ain’t doin them, this probably ain’t gonna work, buddy boi. (I’ve done this technique before, in fact it just happened, and now I can’t sleep. But I’ve had full-blown lucids before as well, so I probably have 39.7% experience).

Let’s get started!!! :D
At bedtime, every 90 min, set an alarm (something calming). This will trigger false awakenings in early rem stages. Every time you “wake up”, dream or no dream, you MUST reality check. Otherwise it can be really difficult to decipher real stuff from wispy dream stuff, ESPECIALLY if your brain is like mine and mimics real life pretty diddlydarn well.

This is cause you’ll usually start out in your room, kinda disoriented, unless you did reality check. (I do “finger through palm” check). After you done that, FEEL YOUR ROOM!! The more you observe your surroundings, the more lucid you become. And I mean lucid as in, you can think clearly.

Great, now go out your door and go exploring! Except uh oh! These early rem stages are too dang short D: And now you back in bed. Probably. Sometimes you “wake up” to another false awakening, so you get to do the whole process again! Yay!!!

But wait! There is another problem D: You are super lethargic during false awakening, and it’s hard to talk...WTF IS GOIN ON?!? Suddenly, you briefly wake up to sleep paralysis and your body is like a freaking dead person and you hearin weird stuff, like a creature clawing at your bedpost (true story). Do you panic??? No. And here’s why: you gon tell yourself throughout the day what SP is, and what to expect. That way, when you’re actually in that fun stage you will be like “Oh yeh I know what this crap is. I’ll just ignore it.”

Now that you’ve passed that random interruption, you have ANOTHER false awakening!! Oh, and if you still are unsure about your current reality, jump. Preferably off some stairs. And guess what?? You just got warped back to your bed, and now your subconscious thinks the blanket next to you is your dog. Silly brain!

Now that you’ve had all these cool adventures, you can congratulate yourself cause you just had 2 lucid dreams in one night! And as you practice this SUPER FUN bed-warp routine, you actually start to get the hang of things, and you can start doing more productive stuff in later rem.

The end!!!!!