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Hi all..
I had posted this in "The Lounge" but also thought that I should post it here as well.. (I hope that's ok).
My husband's mom died of cancer last Thursday (3/15). The doctors ONE WEEK earlier had stopped all treatment (as they were futile) and simply made her as comfortable as possible while we waited for her to die. To say that it was hard on my husband and his family is an understatement. His mom had been physically fit all her life (she ran miles everyday.. she didn't smoke or drink, etc.). In fact, his parents had just been here at Xmas celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. My mother-in-law mentioned that her stomach had been bothering her. The 1st week in Jan. she went to the doctor.. the second week of Jan. she found out she had stomach cancer.. the following weeks she had two chemo treatments and now she's dead.
I usually try for LDs using the wbtb method but I find that once I wake up in the middle of the night.. my mind instantly goes to her and I can't body asleep/mind awake (the thoughts are too strong). Plus I almost at times feel slightly "scared" for lucidity to occur (tho I know this is irrational).
Has death affected anyone else's dreams in this way? How did you get over it? I am a very spiritual person (believe in heaven/hell/afterlife, etc.) which is why this might be so hard for me.
NOTE: I was on very good terms with my mother-in-law and was able to say "goodbye" to her (tho she couldn't respond).. so I'm not concerned with anything left "unsaid" or "undone".
Thanks to any and all who reply.
P.S.: Please love strong and love hard.. you just never know what tomorrow may bring (or take away)
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Yeah, I know the story with stomach cancer. 'We are unable to operate'. Lets just say people you've known forever can disappear pretty quickly. Take Clarity's advice.
Didn't affect my dreams though, but I had stopped lucid dreaming at that point for other reasons.
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I'm sorry. I've never experinced a death so close, yet perhaps lucidity can help you come to terms with this? Maybe it can help you to somehow resolve these feelings. that's saying alot though, I know something like this doesn't just go away.
Probably with time, those thoguhts will become less intrusive, and you can focus more. Maybe just tell yourself, "I'm leaving the wories of the world behind now, and I'm going into my world"
I hope things go well
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taihen and bro, I appreciate your replies.. take care.
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Firstly, my condolences. The closest relative I have ever had to let go of is my Great Grandma.
At that time, however, I was not really a Lucid Dreamer and don't recall any effect.
This effect will probably fade over time along with the feeling of loss we all accuire when we lose someone dear. When you get to the stage of, "I can let go but I will never forget" I assume your dreams will return to normal.
If you are a big believer in afterlife and other spiritual ideas, you may or may not be like my friend who firmly believes dreams and afterlife can be linked and are a way of communicating with our loved and lost.
I'm sorry I can't be of any further help. I once again offer you my commiserations.
Super Duck
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I lost my mother many years before starting lucid dreaming.
I had the time to say goodbye too, but this time is never enough.
You can use lucid dreamign to feel better about the whole situation.
Your mother-in-low is going to be a dream sign the next weeks thats for sure because of the obsetions death cause. You can be lucid more easily if you think that.
I think you have to become lucid and to deal with the fact that you are kind of scare of lucidity, or there is a danger of a long dry spell.
Lucid dreaming is supposed to help as to easy pain in these situation. It's not only for fun, about flying and sex. It 's for dealling better with difficult situations.
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Super Duck and lupo7, thank you both..
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I know when my uncle died, also from cancer, it affected my dreams adversely. At the time I hadn't even heard of lucid dreaming yet, but such a thing hits hard.
Please accept my condolences.
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Man of Steel, thank you for your reply.. I sincerely appreciated it.
