It's dangling right in front of me!

ahhh!!! so I was planning to do a WILD/FILD tongiht, go to sleep at 12, wake at 5:30 then FILD. but while I was trying to fall asleep, I barely moved my fingers as I would with a fild and controlled my breathing. after time i started to feel a little numb, and then a little later i felt strong numbness and vibrations, which I've felt before. normally i get really excited and ruin it, but i've been getting better at it (not good enough). anyway i was concentrating on breathign so i wouldn't ruin it, and i saw somethign that may have been HI...sorta. and then, it went away. i tried really hard to remain calm and concentrate, and i experianced a less intense version later. I resisted through itch and distractions to the point where i was so relaxed, i started to drool (lol) at that point i moved (duh) and found that nearly an hour has passed and i need to use the bathroom.

so my question is, I feel like I'm so close. is there anything I did wrong? or just me maybe getting excited and ruining it again.....so close to my frist lucid, yet so far!

Are you concentrating on anything while slipping into SP? I find it easier to fall into a LD if I visualize (in great detail) where I want to be when SP hits. Plus, it isn't mind numbing. :p

no i wans't in particular...if i do that i tend to either start to have drifting thoughts and fall asleep, or when it actually hits, start speeding up my breathing.

maybe start visualizing when i start to feel effects of sp?

That's what I'd do.

so ur suppose to concentrate on one scenario as in where u want to be and nothing else for the whole duration untill u fall asleep?

If you want... I do the countdown method until I feel SP hit me, then I envision the scenario I want to step into. If you have trouble with that you could try Clarity's technique.