Thread before bed... I'm determined.

Okay, I haven't been seeing the imagery before I fall asleep anymore at all. Also I don't hear the sounds anymore. I feel this is a bad thing. I was determined last night to pull a LD off, but my mind wandered and my mind tricked me once again to go unconscious and fall asleep. I'm pretty mad at myself for letting this happen.

Today I downloaded and printed out Lar's Lucid Dreaming FAQ and read the whole thing. I drew a X or Cross on my hand for a RC throughout the day which I did from about 2PM-Now which is 1:30AM (every time I seen it on my palm I did an RC). I took an hour nap to try to LD at 4PM - 5PM. Didn't work at all. I just drank about 500ML of Pepsi to try to help in some way I have no idea I just did... I'm going to try to wake up at 7AM-8AM and then maybe walk around for a bit and lay back down and see if anything happens.

Got any tips? What I should try or Why I'm not having the sounds anymore or the imagery? Does my plan sound good or bad? If so correct me please.

I'm hoping to get an LD before Sunday or Monday just to assure myself that I can achieve my goal of becoming lucid again like I have before in the past. I'll post the results tomorrow when I get time.

It's 10AM. I got nothing. Couldn't remember my dreams I had except the ones from 9-10AM.

I went to bed at about 1:45AM last night, laid there for 15 minutes talking to myself in my head telling myself to stay focused. It worked until things started to get freaky. I heard one sound which was my friends baby sister saying "What?" and then I thought Yay, a sound now things might get interesting. It was the only sound I heard all night, except for the other people living in the house making racket... :( After that I started having some really heavy imagery the hypnotic kind that wasn't of anything it was just mixed colors. Like looking into a lava lamp sorta? I had that for about 10 minutes until it stopped... :? I looked at the clock it was about 2:15 or so, so I did an RC and tried going back to bed.

I never fell asleep until I got this paranoid feeling of someone in my room...

Anyways, I woke up at 7. Did a few RC's, walked around, read the Lucid FAQ I had printed out again, and flipped the pillows around the other way and went back to bed again the opposite way. I tried tapping my finger to keep me awake and talking to myself again. I didn't manage to dream or anything for a whole hour! I woke up at 8 and went back to bed thinking it was useless to even try. Then slept from 8-10 and had dreams all that time about going back to school and pushing my teacher down because she was acting mean to me and driving my two friends home with their dogs... WTF DO I NEED TO DO TO BE LUCID! I feel like such a failure god... :(