Hi. I'm killing a few minutes while I wait to meet my sister after work....Maybe you might want to get a better sense of what you're trying to accomplish when you meditate? It's true in my experience that we can feel and be things that are ourselves but also not ourselves. It seems to be that it drifts aimlessly to places you may not want to go unless you decide what you're trying to find out or become. Suppose that I place myself where you can feel me, so that you feel me as part of yourself, and I know what I want and you don't know what you want. Then you feel my want as your want, and you try to satisfy it, and we have a sick situation where I control you and you can't tell who you are. This seems to me to be to be inevitable, in one way or another, unless you strengthen your will and intellect. I think passive meditation is generally a bad idea in this regard. Though of course it's good for me to encourage and write books about, and encourage other people to write books about, if I know what I want.
The boy, among other possibilities no mutually exclusive, is your undeveloped animus I think.
The phone messages would be things that you feel spiritually but have no context to make sense of them.
I hope that helps.
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