Its possible to exchange information in dreams. So its possible for some people to prove it to themselves that way. It would be pretty hard to prove in a scientific setting, maybe hard enough that its not worth trying now. I don't see any reason its impossible in principle though.
My 'shared dreams', such as they are, aren't coincident in time. I get the other person's thoughts in my dreams, or vice verse, and its often not stuff that could be guessed or reconstructed from external experience. The two people don't have to be dreaming at the same time though.
DarkMatters, if you want to try to share something in a dream, I'm open to that. I can't do stuff like "how many fingers am I holding up". If you want to try to share something like who you are, what your deepest aspiration or life problem is, that's probably easiest. One way you could do this by forming some philosophical question that you're strongly interested in. Then the images that illustrate this in the dream often construct it out of more mundane facts from your life that can be verified. The only requirement, as far as I know, is openness in relation to me. I'm not in control of this though, either it will work or it won't, and I can't predict the form it will take, which one of us will get a dream. The dream will probably either be tonight or last night. I know it sounds weird for it to be last night, but the desire to try this, if there is one, was probably already pushing its way to the surface by then, and it tends to get into the dreams first before it gets to physical events like typing stuff on the internet.
I've only succeeded in doing this with one person on DreamViews, and it wasn't even intentional, it was a side effect of a conversation we had. I've failed with a handful of other people. I haven't had many of these kinds of dreams for the last year or so, but I don't think its because I can't do it anymore, I think its because I've kind of withdrawn into a shell a bit and given up trying to reach out to people.
The experiment may be confused by the desires and thoughts about it that other people have, but we can't control that very well. Those other elements can either make it easier or harder. This lack of control is of course what makes it hard to deal with 'scientifically', along with the lack of a conceivable mechanism. But there were many things which for other reasons were impossible to study a few hundred years ago that are easily studied now. This is just another kind of challenge. And maybe sometimes its better not to push to hard to solve some challenges too soon. Physics is an example of this. It gave us the internet, but also nuclear weapons. The internet is another good example. Its a wonderful medium for communication, but companies like Google are getting control over it in ways that are going to look very ugly in a few more years. I don't think that radically more widespread awareness of the shared nature of identity, and understanding how it works, would necessarily be a good thing. I don't see the harm in sincere and earnest proving it for themselves though.
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