Talking to the dead

Last night I became lucid in a dream I was having.
I met a friend who had passed away a few years ago. This was very strange, as I was not even thinking about him.
We sat down at a table together, and I asked him a few questions.
I did not want to bring up the subject of him being deceased, so tried to be polite.
First question was " Do you like it here ? "
He said " It's all right "
Then a few other questions about existence in general, but I seem to have forgotten both the questions, and the answers.
Then he changed the subject, and asked me to look behind me.
There was a que waiting for a cash machine, and a very annoyed lady at the front of the line.
She made a comment about me making everyone wait. He tone of voice was not good.
I then asked her to come closer to me, and I gave her a big hug ( No idea why I did this )
She switched from being in a bad mood, to being very friendly, and polite.

This is the first lucid dream that I have had where a dream character has been able to directly influence the dream.
Has anybody else met people who have passed away, and come back in a lucid dream, as independant characters.

TiredPhil,
What do you mean by a dream character that has been able to directly influence the dream? Do you mean you believe that the dream character had a will separate from your mind? If so, what makes you think that? Couldn't the DC have just said "look behind you" but it was just part of your subconscious telling you to look behind you, and then the character you chose to identify your awareness with turned around, and because you were expecting for there to be something of interest behind you, and thus there was. And then by hugging the angry DC you changed the mood of this part of your dream? What makes this dream different from other lucids that you have had? Am I misunderstanding something? If so, please forgive me.
Joanna
PS: I have once met a man who had been dead for ten or fifteen years or so in a nonlucid, and I remember thinking that wow he looked good for someone who had been dead so long. But that was a nonlucid - my mind did not make the leap that here I am having ice cream with a dead guy, therefore I must be dreaming.

I have never had a dream character talk directly to me before, and suggest an action. Not without some loss of lucidity.
This dream was one of the hyper real type. Every detail was crystal clear.
I knew he was dead, and he gave the impression that he knew as well.

Also for some odd reason, I could not influence the surroundings in this dream. And when it comes to lucids, I am always in full control
The suggestion to look behind me was quite a surprise. I wanted to ask more questions from my long lost friend.

In a situation where someone is being rude to me, I would never give them a hug.
It seems like the actions I was taking were being forced on me, although I did not object.

During the course of today I have realised that a lesson was being taught to me.
Conflict from a person, can be overcome with kindness, and compassion.
There is no need to stand up to every person who is upset with you.

Since joining DV I have been activly seeking a dream guide.
It looks like my old friend has volunteered to take on that role.
I do hope he stays with me for more guiding lessons in life.

Well TiredPhil I'll chime in and be the antagonist here. I've had lots of, i would even say most of my lucid dreams where I run into someone or something completely unexpected that i absolutely was not thinking about during the day or recently (or ever) and am usually pleasantly surprised. Yes even dead relatives. Has there ever been anything of absolute certainty despite how as you put it "This dream was one of the hyper real type. Every detail was crystal clear," that assured me without a doubt that I was actually being visited or visiting someone's consciousness who has passed on? Absolutely, certainly, not. Now having said that, does that make the experience unimportant or not special for me or someone like yourself that has also experienced it? No again. I just want to caution you as I've had to do to myself to stay very objective about the experiences we have. Stay skeptical always of dream characters especially. I've had lots of characters who also claim to be "dream guides, spirit guides etc" show up when i make the request for them to appear. It's never been the same person twice and sometimes I only hear a faint voice talking in my mind that sounds like a whisper from across the galaxy. That's my 2 cents and hoping it keeps some readers and practicers of Lucid Dreaming, astral projection etc out of the looney bin.

^ I'd agree with that. Also while I liked your explanation Tired Phil because I do wish you a dream guide if you want one and I now understand why you say that what you experienced is different from what you usually experience; however, I find it fascinating how different people's experiences with dream characters usually are. You say that your DCs never talk to you directly and suggest an action. I have heard some others whose DCs are usually like mindless robots or shells of people. I can see how someone might then conclude that if they encounter a DC that is different than most DCs they encounter, more three dimensional or more active, then they conclude that this DC is special. Personally, I have not noticed anything mindless about my DCs. They are as realistic as waking life people. Because they are, I assumed that that's what DCs are like - clearly though that just applies to DCs in some people's dreams. The way I figure, there is no reason to think that a human mind is not capable of rendering a DC with full blown personality and initiative etc, so I always assume my DCs are creations of my own mind. However, I can understand why if someone usually dreamed of DCs that are not fully formed, and then they encountered one that was, I can see why that person would conclude that this DC was special.

I wonder whether my DCs are fully functional because from childhood on I have always been a daydreamer, carrying on conversations with a plethora of imaginary characters, participating in all kinds of stories as one of many participants who were fully formed. My mind thus may be used to building up people.

You are both going to think I am mad.
My son asked me to show him the way to a training centre in the next town along. I decided to ride there on bicycles, as I had no money.
After leaving my son at the centre, I had to take the bikes to be locked up.
I was going to the cash machine to get some money out.
On the way to the lockup there was a lady that looked similar to the one in my dream.
Pushing two bikes, I tried to avoid this woman alltogether and steered the bikes away from her.
An elderly man was not watching where he was going, and bumped into the handlebar of one of the bikes.
It did not make contact with him, but just caught his coat slightly. He turned to me with an odd look on his face.
Then the lady I had tried to avoid all together turned around, and asked her father if he was all right.
She scowled at me as if I had done the deed on purpose, and hurt her father.
I was too shocked to respond, so continued on my way.
Her father must have explained that it was his fault, or something, as she smiled after listening to his explanation.
At this point, I was taking money from the cash machine.
Coincidences, eh ?

There is no such thing as a coincidence, some people say, and I am beginning to wonder whether they are right. Nope, I am not going to think that you are mad. I am after all one who thinks that I have had at least a couple precognitive dreams myself. Small stuff, nothing important, but too weird to make me comfortable just dismissing as coincidences. The world is a weird place, and I am sure there are a lot of things going on for which we do not have nice and tidy explanations.

I think its unfortunate that the word 'coincidence' is generally considered to mean 'random coincidence', rather than just interpreting the word literally. It would be nice to be able to call something a coincidence without assuming or implying anything about synchronicity or meaning or the absence of it.