Weird, unpleasant hypnogogic sleep phenomena - looking to see if anyone else shares my experience

**peabody2** · 11-01-2019 11:15 PM

Hello there,

I decided to post my experience on here regarding a sleep phenomena I encounter quite regularly because, even after exhaustive Googling and research, I have not found a single article or post or shred of evidence that shows that others have experienced the same thing I do. While I have found some similarities in experience, I have yet to find an exact match. I am hoping to find some others on here who may have experienced something similar.

Throughout my life, I have experienced an array of various sleep phenomena. I have always talked in my sleep and, on a couple occasions in childhood, walked in my sleep (though I haven't walked since then). I've experienced several bouts of sleep paralysis as an adult, as well as what they call "hypnogogic hallucinations" as I fall asleep. I have vivid dreams, nightmares, and night terrors, and have been practicing some form of lucid dreaming on and off throughout most of my adult life. Simply put, I have had several different phenomena occur in my sleep life and I find that I am fascinated by them. Whenever I have these experiences (which have become much more frequent over the past few years), I tend to reflect on them afterwards and analyze them upon waking. They interest me and even when scary stuff happens like sleep paralysis or the weird hypnogogic state, I am still no less fascinated by it all.

That said, despite enjoying the ability to experience and analyze so many different sleep states, over the past several years I have been experiencing some rather unpleasant ones. The one I am about to share with you does bear some resemblance to what they call "hypnogogic hallucinations" and also have some commonalities with sleep paralysis, but it feels distinctly different and I have yet to find an exact match for what this phenomena is... or if anyone else experiences it in the same way I do. I have described my experiences below. Please let me know if any of this resonates or matches your own experience. I currently feel a bit alone in this.

First, I want to describe the general phenomena that has been plaguing me. It is intensely unpleasant and sometimes occurs several times throughout a single night. It tends to come and go over time and occasionally it will go into remission for a few months and then return with a vengeance. Basically, what will happen is that I will mentally wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare or unpleasant dream, often by becoming lucid and talking or shouting or trying to shake myself out of the dream, but the problem is that my body seems to desperately want me to stay asleep/return to sleep. It wants me to return to sleep so badly that when I open my eyes (and I can open my eyes - this is not exactly sleep paralysis as I can move somewhat) my body is trying so hard to force them closed. It feels as though I have been sleep deprived for weeks and I just cant fight it anymore. I want to clarify, though, that I have been in actual sleep paralysis before and this is NOT the same thing as sleep paralysis. This feels like an entirely different phenomena , though it does bear some shades similar in the sense that my mind and body are out of alignment and it's difficult to move, but only because my body is trying so hard to get me to go back to sleep. I am able to talk and move a bit in this state, though it's a little hard.

I want to also mention that, throughout all of this, I pretty much always hear audio hallucinations but they differ from the ones I have read about in articles. I hear what sounds like loud drilling sounds, as though construction work is happening just outside the window, and my brain is also filled with the vague chattering of people/voices - like the kind you might hear while sitting in the airport. They sound distant, but also close by. I also feel the vibrations (this is a lucid dreaming forum so I will assume you guys know what sensation I am talking about). I feel the hum, the vibrations, the intense, all encompassing buzzing that is often associated with this state. But it is unpleasant and I am filled with a sense of dread.

Usually, in this state, in order to stop myself from falling back to sleep, I have to keep trying to shake myself out of it (again, I can move a bit) and writhe or yell. The reason I do not want to fall back asleep is because it feels unsafe and scary, as though the nightmare I just had is literally still "waiting for me" on the other side and, despite knowing that I will be lucid as fall back to sleep, for some reason I am terrified of it. The very thought of falling back to sleep in that particular state is horrifying. It feels as though I just know something bad will happen to me if I let myself fall back to sleep, but my body is REFUSING to let me wake up no matter now hard I try.

Sometimes I win the battle of mind over body and manage to shake myself out of it, but for a few minutes after my body is still a-buzz with vibrations. It tingles and I can tell my body is still not out of the state yet. To avoid giving in to my body's will of falling back to sleep while still "vibrating" (which, again, is terrifying to me in that state because my brain and body are out of alignment and I will be conscious while falling alseep). If I wait a few minutes, the vibrations will stop and then I will be safe to fall back to sleep normally.

Sometimes, I lose the battle or decide to intentionally explore the idea of "letting it take me" back to sleep and when I do - well, see below for a few experiences.

1. Losing the battle unintentionally:

In this first experience, I lost the battle unintentionally while in the vibrating/buzzing/drilling/weird state of not wanting to fall back to sleep. I was laying in my bed, fighting the good fight, when it felt as though someone had grabbed me by the front of my shirt and yanked me upward towards the ceiling. There was a sensation of "moving upward" and then BAM! A loud bang. Suddenly everything was different. I was still in my bedroom, it looked like my bedroom, but everything felt off and weird. I could feel the presence of a demon. I also felt strapped to my bed.

Now, since I was lucid, in hindsight, I know I could have simply took control over the situation by telling myself over and over that the demon wasn't real and transformed my nightmare into a pleasant lucid dream. But, at the time, I was too scared to do that.

After I felt the demon's presence in the room, I tried to wake myself up. I ended up in sleep paralysis upon waking, but I could talk a little but like a ventriloquist. I tried to shout "shake me" at my boyfriend but it came out sounding weird. He eventually understood and shook me and I woke up for real. It was very scary for him and me.

2. Losing the battle intentionally in order to lucid dream and stop being afraid (WILD technique):

I was on a cruise recently and was having some anxiety after drinking too much the day before. I was laying on the bed and had just woken up from a dream or nightmare and was thrust into the cycle again of vibrating/buzzing and trying to force myself not to fall back to sleep. Then I decided to say screw it - I want to take control over this and see if I can defeat my own fears. So I allowed it to swallow me and take me. The first thing I remember is a feeling of leaning slightly to the right and "falling" out of my body and going down towards the floor. The room was no longer dark - the carpet and everything looked bright and colorful. Then I went down a spinning tunnel and it felt like I was falling. And then BAM just like my first one, it was like a light switching on. Instead of demons or being afraid, I decided to use the mantra "penguins, penguins, penguins" because they are my favorite animal. Lo and behold there was a field of penguins. But they seemed hazy and not very vivid and I was unable to conjure up my favorite type of penguin. Then I woke up but instead of fully waking up, I was in the scary room again. It looked like our cruise cabin, but there was a figure in the back of the room looking weird and also I felt (physically) and saw a pail on my belly with shovels in it. I could almost touch it, i could feel it on my belly and could see it. I tried to talk and my boyfriend heard it and shook me and then the hallucinations disappeared.

What I really want to know is if anyone has been in that scary state of feeling the buzz/vibes but being afraid of falling back to sleep? Most importantly, does it feel like an unseen force is "pulling" you back to sleep? To me, it feels almost impossible to stay awake when it happens and feels like I have to battle for my sanity and to stay awake and not reenter the nightmare. I understand, and have tried, to harness this lucidity in order to lucid dream but the general feeling is still highly unpleasant for me.

**PrisonPlanet** · 11-02-2019 08:29 PM

Buzzing hum vibration, very loud bangs. Please look up exploding head syndrome and symptoms.

**peabody2** · 11-03-2019 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by PrisonPlanet

Buzzing hum vibration, very loud bangs. Please look up exploding head syndrome and symptoms.

I am already aware of exploding head syndrome. This post wasn't just about the loud drilling I hear. I was moreso talking about the feeling of not being able to stay awake after I shake myself awake. It is not quite sleep paralysis because I can move in the state I am talking about, but my body keeps on trying to force me back to sleep. It's like I have to fight to stay awake mentally and physically. Even after I manage to sit up in bed and move around, it takes a while for the vibes to stop. The thing that is bothering me is that I have read about all of these phenomena separately (vibrations, sleep paralysis, hallucinations, exploding head) but never about them being merged altogether into 1 experience. I've also never read about anyone talking about having to fight their body to stay awake (this is a bit different from waking up in sleep paralysis since I can move about in this state). I am trying to find someone who has experienced exactly what I am talking about. Being in a state where you can move but your body is fighting to force you back to sleep whilst feeling vibes and hearing things.

**PrisonPlanet** · 11-03-2019 09:43 PM

It does sound like combination of sp and ehs. I dealt with similar situation for months. Then POOF it never came back. If you already did search symptoms (see no comparison) then its beyond my comprehension. Anyway perhaps one of regulars here will chime in..give advice. Good luck.

**Caradon** · 11-04-2019 09:13 PM

Sounds to me like you simply need to have more confidence in the fact that dreams can't in any way hurt you and stop being afraid of them and trying to make yourself wake up.

Just stay in it and enjoy it instead. You say you have a scary dream, become lucid, and then try to wake yourself up to get away from it. Then you get stuck in the weird inbetween state that tries to drag you back in and you fight against it. Why are you trying to get away from something that can't harm you in any way? Why not gain a bit more confidence, stop being afraid of it. And then play with it and have the time of your life instead? And you will wake up naturally on your own time, probably sooner than you would like because you are having too much fun...

I grew up becoming lucid in the middle of the most horrific nightmares imaginable and never once did I try to wake myself up from one. I become so confident in the indestructibility of my dream body and even purposely, fearlessly, throwing myself into the jaws of destruction. For me, letting some kind of danger in a dream give it it's best try in harming me is actually more fun than trying to defeat it in some pointless battle. Seeing how a battle is pointless, when there is no need to defend yourself from harm because there is no real danger to defend against... Unless, you are just engaging in battle just for the sake of the fun of the game.

But, as mentioned. The best most efficient way to defeat any scary situation in a dream, is to not be afraid. It really is that simple.

**shadowofwind** · 11-04-2019 11:44 PM

Personally, if I had that kind of problem, I would lay completely off of the alcohol. But I know hardly anyone else agrees with me about this, and maybe that's not the right approach for you.

I mostly agree with what Caradon said, about fearlessness, though I do think it is possible to be hurt in a dream. Fear is sometimes well founded, and shouldn't be disregarded or ignored, but it can also be a mistake or a lie, and I think that with most nightmares its more of the later. Even if a dream were legitimately dangerous, and I think that mostly dreams are not, there's still something to be said about facing it with confidence, rather than feeding the dysfunctional pattern with blind emotional reaction.

**Caradon** · 11-05-2019 03:40 AM

Originally Posted by shadowofwind

though I do think it is possible to be hurt in a dream.

No it's not, unless you consider the slim possibility of scaring yourself into a heart attack. Which would be an entirely different thing in my opinion at least (But I suppose it could be possible to scare yourself that badly if you have a weak heart maybe and it would be yourself scaring yourself.) That is something different than being harmed by a thought form in you dreams. If it were I'd have been hurt many times over by now. Probably dead after all the shit I've put my dream body through and let happen to it. Anything in my dreams that thinks it can, I can only say bring it. Facing and overcoming the scary things has always been one of my favorite activities in lucidity, though it's pretty easy when I'm not scared. "Shrugs" Heck. I'm an odd type that doesn't even mind a good non lucid that is scary as hell as I enjoy the intensity of it. And the scarier it is the more likely it will trigger lucidity and the fun begins.

Laying off alcohol is always a good approach for any situation.

**shadowofwind** · 11-05-2019 06:48 AM

Caradon,

I think your experience with this, as valid as it may be, isn't adequate for proving a negative for someone else. I experienced a rape in a dream about 20 years ago that I think I was harmed by. I wasn't harmed a lot, but the psychological damage wasn't zero either. I don't think you have enough information to reasonably judge that I'm wrong.

In any case, it sounds like we're mostly in agreement about this anyway. I think you made a good suggestion, and I don't think my comment changes that.

**Caradon** · 11-05-2019 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by shadowofwind

Caradon,

I think your experience with this, as valid as it may be, isn't adequate for proving a negative for someone else. I experienced a rape in a dream about 20 years ago that I think I was harmed by. I wasn't harmed a lot, but the psychological damage wasn't zero either. I don't think you have enough information to reasonably judge that I'm wrong.

In any case, it sounds like we're mostly in agreement about this anyway. I think you made a good suggestion, and I don't think my comment changes that.

Well I have enough info from personal experience to satisfy myself, that's all that really matters on my end. Everyone has to figure things out on their own really. As much as I'd like to be able to just say quit being scared and it would happen, I know it's not that simple for a lot of people.

What you're talking about is something different, and sounds like a non lucid experience. But still I don't believe someone should allow unfortunate dream content to weigh so heavily on their mind. For me the worst thing is having to endure a non lucid of watching something horrible happen to someone/something I love. Like seeing my dearly loved little dog being run over by a car and crushed to death. Scooping up her destroyed bleeding body and sobbing until I wake. That is a different kind of awful experience I can do without. But I wouldn't let it leave a lasting mark on my mind. I just wake up thankful/relieved that it didn't really happen.

In the early days of my endeavors with lucidity I figured out how to perform a fun trick of making my dream body completely insubstantial so anything that I didn't want to touch me would just pass right through me. But after a while that little trick became obsolete as I no longer cared enough to bother with it. Instead having fun in just allowing anything and everything to happen. Or making stuff happen just for the fun of it. Like purposely laying across train tracks and letting a train run me over as just one example. And there is always telekinesis if you want to feel like an all powerful bad ass. It's a wonderful dreaming tool that can be used in so many different ways.

**Zthread** · 11-05-2019 11:10 PM

Does sound really scary, peabody2! Not at all sure what it is. I've never experienced anything like it. Does seem like it's different than SP, because you've experienced SP and know what that's like. Also you can move when this happens, although with some difficulty, which I don't think is possible with SP. Whatever it is, I'd guess it's something pretty rare. One question I have is: Even though you feel like you're awake when this happens, are you sure you're really awake? Because maybe you're just dreaming that you're awake. Have you ever tried doing an RC when this happens to be sure you're really awake?

Anyway, maybe it doesn't matter too much what it is. The important question is what to do about it. Not sure what I'd do that you haven't already tried, except for doing an RC to see if you're not really awake, as I mentioned above.

Another thing that comes to mind is that--since the worst aspect of this thing seems to be the sense of dread it causes--it might be helpful to try doing a simple relaxation exercise whenever it happens. For example, just focus on your breath and breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Maybe that would reduce the sense of dread.

**Lang** · 11-06-2019 12:09 AM

One thing I do know is that; expect the unexpected with the dreams, even if you are a pro at it...

Have you ever have seen a Neuroscientist when you were a child? You may want to rule out anything medical (Physically or mentally) that may cause that kind of thing. REM Sleep Behavior Disorder is common in children. Some people do grow out of that.
Perhaps it's worth a check-up. However, for the most part, you don't have to fear it as longs as there is not anything medically wrong with you, you know?
We can only help you here so far but, our experiences may be different than what you are experiencing. For we do not hold any credentials or licenses in the psychological or medical fields and its opinions should not be considered as from a professional source. Therefore, this site does not serve as a replacement for mental or psychological counseling. All visitors are encouraged to think for themselves and keep an open mind.
Although, one dream you had were you being choked or something like that reminds me of the Devil's Stomping Ground Dream that I had but, that wasn't a hallucination that was just a nightmare.
I have had some dreams like that. Um, just imagine the Quantum Realm and all the chaos. And I'm someone who remembers most of my dreams. Sometimes, those dreams, are brain is melting mashed with memories of past shit with what you had dealt with. Not easy for the human mind to take, but I have been there. In detail but, I have found a way to make peace with WILDS/ Lucid dreams and among another thing. (I feel just about everything in stuff like that) Then again, I've lucid since I've been little.

(IMO) You are the only ones who can talk to your subconscious. For example, I knew someone from school who got into trouble with having a Phantom Pregnancy where she had all the symptoms of being pregnant (Physical and mentally) but, not being actually pregnant... She had to force her subconscious in a dream that she wasn't even pregnant.
You could try to do the same here or at least try to make peace with it. Of course, if you don't have anything that is actually medically wrong with your health.

In short, Your mind is an amazing thing. Put it to use and heal yourself.

Perfectly not confusing.

**acillis** · 01-13-2020 03:13 AM

i swear sometimes sleep paralysis. false awakenings. even the loops we sometimes experience. feels like a magnet to me. i wiggle my big toe like crazy as fast and hard as i can if i want it to end. my aboriginal friends recommended putting a dish of water under my bed if it gets to bad. the magnet...

**cece23** · 01-31-2020 09:18 PM

I know I am a bit late to this thread, but I have a little speculation on your experience.

Firstly you say that what you experience is not sleep paralysis because you can move your eyes? But you don’t say what other part of your body you are able to move, although you do say you can kind of mumble for help. But then you have also said that you sometimes talk in your sleep anyway. So I do personally think it is a form of sleep paralysis and moving your eyes is perfectly normal. I have had SP where I am convinced I am moving my arms only to “wake up” for a second (and third and fourth) time and realise I haven’t moved at all. I have had just once in my lifetime had an experience where I was convinced I saw an angel at the end of my bed and physically switched the light on to prove to myself I wasn’t dreaming (then the image disappeared) If I go with the rational explanation that this was an hallucination then I have to accept that some part of my brain was still not fully awake yet. Maybe that is what is happening to you, which explains the sleep walking when you were younger.

As far as the experiences you have with the nightmares; well I can tell you that sometimes as I am falling asleep I get a sudden loud bang as if a door has shut right beside my ear, which jolts me awake a bit like the phenomenon when you think you are falling off a pavement. But the drilling you describe and the vibrations sound very like an experience I had as a child when I had a super high temperature. Have you ever tested your temperature upon waking? Also the dreams I had with it were a mixture of nightmares and shapes going round and round which are super hard to describe. I can still remember them to this day more than 40 years later but can’t find the words to describe them. That was all mixed in with sleep paralysis.

Ok so the other thing I can tell you is that sometimes when I don’t manage to sleep until early morning, say 2:00am, I nearly always have a nightmare and wake up about an hour later, sometimes even in floods of tears though I don’t always even know what I have dreamt. Very often I will be screaming and trying (unsuccessfully) to get my husband to wake me up. How is your sleep? Do you sleep 7 or 8 hours or do you have very choppy sleep? Under or over sleeping can increase the likelihood of sleep paralysis (if that is what this is). What I have also discovered is that trying to stop myself from sleeping only increases the likelihood that I will have sleep paralysis because my body just can’t stay awake.

It might be worth getting yourself checked out to see how well you are sleeping. I don’t know how it works in your part of the world, but this is how it went for me a few years back when I suspected that I had sleep apnea. So the hospital got me all wired up so they could monitor my breathing, temperature, heartbeat etc to see just how well I was sleeping. I could wear this at home and the data was stored automatically in a little box. Maybe in your case you would need to go to a dream clinic or something but if this is stopping you (and your partner) from getting a good nights rest then it’s really best to get it checked out. I, having sleep apnea and therefore not getting enough nightrest, was at high risk for a heart attack. If you are not sleeping well at night you could possibly also be at risk too plus it doesn’t sound like you have been having a fun time with this, so particularly as you feel like no-one has this my guess it is something out of the ordinary going on with you.

Anyway hopefully I have given you some food for thought and sincerely hope this horrible sleeping situation has passed.