my first experience within the void
when i was a child, age 5 or 6 i had a reoccurring dream.
that could of lasted a few weeks, maybe a bit over a month or so maybe longer. i cannot be sure.
the dream would go like this, i would find my self sitting in the fetus position with my arms covering my head and legs, i was scared to open my eyes, because i knew there was nothing but darkness in all directions, i would sit there for a unknown amount of time, a voice would talk to me in a nice way, asking me to look upwards and open my eyes, i would open my eyes, right at the moment of opening my eyes, a force would lift me high up into the darkness, when i reached a certain height, the force would then grab me again, and this time, pegged me straight forward, at a unimaginable speed, further into the darkness, i watched as darkness flew right past me, the shock of this dream always awakened me, a few days would pass, and i would dream the dream again, in the exact same way, i am unsure how many times i would dream this dream, weeks? months? i do not know, but something magical happened eventually within the dream.
when asked to open my eyes, i refused to listen to the voice, because i was now conscious & aware of my self and knew where i was, and i knew what would happened if i listened to it, i awoken without any jolts or fear, and i thought i have beaten the dream, how wrong i was.
it was sometime later, but i found my self in the darkness again in the same fetus position, thinking to my self, great! why am i here again for! i thought i beat this dream!, i sat there waiting for the voice to talk to me, but i didn't hear the same voice, i heard the voice of my mother, mark look up and open your eyes, i would obey, and i would be lifted high up and thrown through the darkness just like before, later when i awoken, i realized i was tricked.
this dream kept happening over & over, and in every dream, i was totally conscious & aware,
i had to get my self to the point, i wouldn't listen to any voices i heard, not even one, sometimes i would open my eyes to the voice, just to wake up!.
the hard thing about this, the voice would always change, and somehow would mimic everyone i knew in my life, so i had to realize & and train my self, these aren't my friends or family i am hearing, eventually somehow i reached a point where i wouldn't be tricked anymore or could be fooled, i was telling my friends and my family to fuck off and leave me be.
when i couldn't be fooled or tricked anymore , i heard this rumble, a rushing of energy coming to where i was sitting, something gathering in one single point.
a big angry voice was roaring at me, look up and open your eyes! the voice i knew without question, was the first voice i heard while in the darkness, it was very angry and roaring at me, commanding me to open my eyes and look up, i had to stand my ground, it was as if it was right in my face spitting as it roared at me.
for some reason i felt it couldn't touch me while my eyes were closed, that feeling gave me strength, i wouldn't listen to it or open my eyes for it, i was screaming, at it to fuck off
i then felt a huge weight fall from my shoulders, as i felt the being, or whatever it was leave.
right at that moment, i stood up and opened my eyes, staring into the void and beyond it, far off into the darkness, i could see what looked like purple lightning, i awoken from this experience, knowing i defeated the thing in the darkness, i never had this type of dream again, but i have however been to the void again in my older years, it was not my choice, i have discovered i am not alone in this experience, for others have also been to the void.
the state of lucidity was mine. but was rekindled by my pursuit of astral projection.
