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    1. Assorted Fragments and the Cruise Ship Adventures of Obi-Wan-jolras.

      by , 01-25-2012 at 08:59 PM
      1. Something about a rivalry between all the planets

      2. Something about re-reading some books I'd read previously as a child and finding them far too heavy-handed in their message

      3. Something about really strange water-slides, including one with a robot polar bear that launches you into the water and one with antelopes that push you up the hills.

      4. I'm on a really big cruise ship. I decide to go explore, just to see what there is. First I eat some leftover cheesecake from a party. Then I find an indoor train that tours the whole ship and board it. The train passes several interesting-looking shops, and I stop at one (whose name was something like "Cossette Boutique") that sells replicas of stage costumes from Les Miserables. Finding I look quite sharp in an Enjolras costume, I buy it. Next thing I know, I'm being chased around the ship engaged in a lightsaber duel with someone who can't seem to decide whether he's Darth Vader, Darth Maul, or James Moriarty. I run up stairs, slide down banisters, weave around dinner tables, veer off into hallways, and even try ducking into a bathroom to take off my vest and attempt to hide my Force-presence. No dice. The duel makes its way back into a dining room where Darth Whatever activates a switch with the cork from a bottle of wine. I head to the end of a hallway with an elevator, but the elevator won't open, and all the doors in the hall were locked. I'm cornered. I ask if I can have a moment to telepathically bid farewell to my padawan (because apparently I have a padawan now...) and make my peace. He obliges, then runs me through.

      Then I decide to run around the ship topless because I'm totally a ghost now and I'm so sure nobody can see me. But everybody can (though they apparently don't notice the seminudity), and they congratulate me on my excellent theatrical performance.