Les Rêves

[Nasty habit I'm developing, writing down dreams RIGHT before sleeping again after sleep deprivation. Kills all recall..]

I am in my NY house. I think we are back there for the summer again. There is this rabbit identical to Zooni behind the TV. We don't know how it got there or anything, but I pet it and befriend it. It disappears after a bit. I feel anxious. There is also a puppy in the house, yapping around like annoying little puppies do. I feel intense fear; I think the puppy's going to attack th bunny. I see it woofing towards the bunny and I immediately pick it up and shield it. My mom asks me what I want to do with the bunny. There will be no one to take care of her when I leave for uni, but at the same time I've grown too fond of this bunny in the day or so that she's been at my house. I'm town, the thought of letting her go is so saddening.. I fear that she'll end up in a crappy household and get abused. But I can't leave her at the mercy of my family members. Guilt overcomes me and it's sickening familiarity disturbs me yet again.

I had another "escape" dream, I don't know why. I have these ever so often, and they all have such weird vividness attached to them.

I'm in my VA house and hiking around my bedroom. I know that tonight is the night I run away. I try to gather things I will need. As the dream starts i feel anxious to just get out, but then I slow down and be practical about it. I peer in the fridge and debate bringing food. Then I give up the idea, just grab crackers and water. I shove necessary things into a small backpack and then just throw all my cash into the backpack. I can't be carrying heavy loads. I leave quickly out the door. I start running. that familiar feeling overcomes me, the knowledge that as soon as I leave the house and start running my family will spot and run after me. All will be lost. I sprint into the lawn from the gravel road, and I think about how I can't give up because I'm doing this for my brother. (Apparently the purpose of the running away was to make sure an operation happens to my brother.) I feel anxious and disturbed. Every detail of running into the woods is clear. I can smell the grass, feel the humidity on my skin, the backpack flapping against my back. It is just the beginning of night.. I come across a weird little cabin where pig-human-creatures reside. They invite me in or something, I don't know, somehow I am there having dinner with them. I am spending the night there for safety, but it makes no sense because my parents are there too. This is weird because of their extreme aversion to pigs. We sit at this really small table and I recall their squiggly tails and all. It's fucking disturbing, don't ask me why. Just the fact that they're pigs talking and acting like humans I suppose. A little fire is going on somewhere. It's so small. I feel claustrophobic. I need to get out to find my brother. We are now going to retire to bed, and I see my father in the doorway. He tells me not to worry about the strange appearance of the cabin. I see a very recognizable face of a man but I forget who it was.. He'sin one of the rooms and we quickly glance at each other while I pass through a maze to the bedroom.

That's all. I need to stop being a lazy ass and put my pen + notebook back on to my bed.