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    Blue_Opossum

    1. Sewing Machine Bulldozer

      by , 08-25-2015 at 01:04 PM
      Morning of August 25, 2015. Tuesday.



      Notes:

      It always gives me an extraordinary sense of fulfillment when I get a continuous flow of insight and am able to more fully decode certain patterns in dreams over a lifetime since earliest memory. I am very grateful for the technology that has allowed me to do this; that is, type faster and with continuous editing potential (rather than writing and correcting and rewriting and correcting when I was little), put documents all together in one place, and have a listing and potential day to day timeline of my lifetime from around age four (with sparse family references and records since my birth date in 1960) as well as having access to resources that are able to validate and enhance so many of my earlier records. Not only will I be able to, in about ten years (only an optimistic estimate of course), bring all of my dream records and notes together as I want them, I will also have the ability to do extensive searches with a fair amount of precision. This dream, as odd and unlikely as it seems (even to me at first - I did not expect the flashes of realization when working with it), gave me the required focus somehow to unravel a small and isolated set of dream metaphors and associations going back to 1968 as well as relating to the path to my beautiful soulmate. There are too many layers to get into in this entry (and one would have to understand hundreds of summarized pages of my personal back story to “get” any of it anyway). I can only loosely touch upon some of it. Obviously, there are still limitations to my personal symbols and metaphors being fully decoded. This is mainly because some symbolic associations are rather sparse and fairly rare even at my present age. Still, I feel very happy today with another new breakthrough.

      Sewing Machine Bulldozer:

      I am mournfully back as I was when I was in my twenties and working for the Onalaska Street Department (not that I was sad at that time - it is just that something seems to be “missing” somehow in-dream). My job at this time was picking up large pieces of eroded embankment (on a fairly difficult inclination) and placing them on the roadside - placing them directly in front of the bulldozer. This was very difficult work and not many could do it for very long. Over time, I begin to be annoyed and tired over why I am even doing this. (It does not dawn on me that I am no longer this age, and do not even live in America anymore.) I am concerned about the speed of the other workers. The bulldozer even bumps me a few times, though not in any harmful way. I grow impatient and realize that I may have missed pieces a far distance back and think that the stretch will have to be worked over again. I do some of the work incorrectly, that is, I bend over to pick up a heavy piece instead of squatting and flinging back. Any sense of weariness of course, is an illusion in-dream. I start to ask myself what I am doing here. Is this where I am supposed to be?

      I absentmindedly turn about and put my foot against the blade of the bulldozer. This results in a very strange event. The blade and push frame begin to wobble and very small “plates” fall off the front (reminding me vaguely of “Bathtub with Grill” from June 26, 2015). The exhaust pipe stack begins to move up and down like a “giant” sewing machine needle. It is almost like the tension building up in a cartoon (but not cartoon-like in any way). When I look down, I see that the bulldozer’s blade has actually transformed into an oversized antique sewing machine’s treadle (with floral scroll design), though at an angle and somewhat elevated. My leg is automatically working it to create (and actually sew together, apparently) some sort of clothing within the bulldozer’s cab. It is some sort of gossamer white lacy material flowing out from the side. Around this time there is a very strange mechanical sound behind me and when I dare look, it is a downward rolling “wave” suggesting a ghostly staircase. Soon, it is a luminescent staircase (recurring feature mostly from early 1991 to early 1994). My wife (as she was when we first made contact) in a glowing wedding dress and some sort of oversized tiara (somewhat like a crown) is standing there with a bouquet of flowers. I can see a blue layer of light just under her skin. “I’m not going to be late, am I?” I ask. “I never intended to be la…” (My dream is swept away.)

      Connections:

      Bulldozer history: I have found some links I did not really fully put together before. “The Dead One” dream (February 13, 1971, age ten - that is, first version of it) had a bulldozer run over Brenda W when I was taking flowers to her late at night on the eve of Valentine’s Day (so that only her hand is seen emerged from the soil and I feel a terrible sense of loss), yet she was resurrected (not in a zombie sense) near the end of my dream, yet “I could not yet have her”. (There were several dreams where she was resurrected, none of them relevant to any zombie lore - more in a divine “ascension” sense.) Brenda was the fully confirmed “stand-in” for my wife-to-be and also appeared in composite forms (such as “The Bad Witch” from March 18, 1978, which had a recurrence on March 23rd - the same date I got my first letter from my wife-to-be in 1991). Other layers - my sister died on February 13th (though the 14th from my perspective at one point in Australia as we are about a day ahead) and my father also died on the 14th of February. I have often associated the bulldozer with mortality and loss as such. Thus, there is very odd synchronicity with only a 1 in 365 chance it would be relevant as such - though it is - and all through my life extremely unlikely synchronicity continued with almost every event and association.

      The origins of this (that is, the very seed) may or may not be related to the tree I used to spend time near at primary school. One of my friends used to take palmetto sticks and push sand off the concrete bench, chanting “bulldozer bulldozer”. This was the “same” bench that Brenda was seated in most versions of “Bridge Over a Prehistoric World” (though she also appeared in distorted composites associated with the “dream girl” or “mystery girl” as I preferred).

      At any rate, from here, I made somewhat of a breakthrough in one very early version of the “divine staircase”. However, the features are quite different. It turns out to be my “Rocket Science” dream from July 2, 1976. This is not the first version of the implied “soulmate staircase” by any stretch. One of the oldest appears in “The Ghost Marriage” dream from October 16, 1971. I am linking only to the “Rocket Science” dream because of a few odd parallels. Firstly, the white sheet of paper that makes the “staircase” is like a miniature implication of the one in this latest dream (which I never even began to note before for whatever absentminded reason) as well as the commonly recurring ones as already mentioned above. It moved exactly the same way; that is, like a diagonal wave that suggested a complete “pure” or “divine” staircase (phantom or not).

      Aside from that, there is also the shared “whirligig” element and the strange “impossible” technology, the “whirligig” obviously being a Merkaba form, but I am not sure what the sewing machine needle and fictional helicopter rotary design “pumping” relates to (well, on a spiritual level that is - some sort of spiritual “motor” or cosmic mechanism perhaps). As most of this had already come about in 1994, it is more like a decoding breakthrough than anything relevant to what may come.
    2. Strange Book Sale Upstairs in a Cathedral-like Building

      by , 03-29-2015 at 09:29 AM
      Morning of March 29, 2015. Sunday.



      I am walking up a very long and steep flight of stairs (both by my choice and my seeming simultaneous creation of it by way of non-lucid dream control). Others, including a wealthy old lady, are ahead of me. This flight of steps is so steep and high, I get a strong impression that I will not be able to go down them comfortably. (This is mainly due to the fact that I am facing the solid structure of the stairs as I am ascending them but when walking down the steps, I will be facing open space, which might cause me to feel ungrounded.)

      I decide that instead of using the stairs on my way out after I do whatever it is that I have to do, I will teleport from the second floor of the building down to ground level (though this never occurs by the end of my dream).

      I notice that, as I am climbing the stairs, the building I am in is like a huge cathedral. Eventually, I find myself in a large L-shaped area that has numerous bookshelves along all walls. Apparently, it is a book sale, displaying both new and old and worn secondhand books. My wife Zsuzsanna eventually appears and looks over different sections.

      A young Japanese male seems to be responsible for most of the book sale, regardless of how large an area it seems to be in (at least one city block). At first, I talk to him about the books in broken Japanese but eventually I decide to implement a translator where I can speak English and it will automatically be translated into Japanese. This translator even forms a holographic matrix around my head to display the correct lip positions for each word and syllable, so that it also looks correct. It is as if I am actually speaking Japanese to anyone watching me. My translator works both ways. I hear the Japanese male speaking English even though I know he is speaking Japanese. His voice is loud and clear.

      I look over a set of small but thick softcover books on a low shelf that seem to be in a series and are mainly about mythical monsters, though one has a triceratops on the cover. At first, I notice only book number four, but eventually find all of them and decide to buy them. I carry them around with me to another section closer to where Zsuzsanna is.

      I pick up a large hardcover book from a top shelf and notice that the writing is very small and sideways on some pages, which seems to relate to statistics, old census reports, or other government records. I see that the front covers (though not the back covers) are missing from most of the books in this particular section including the one I am holding, which is also damaged in that the spine is at a slanted angle. Even though most of these books are in English, it seems that they may have been printed in Japan. I do get a lot of various information from the young male but cannot remember all the details, as there are a lot of different books I look at and talk about.

      I find a large book in the area where Zsuzsanna is looking around. It seems to be someone’s dream journal in the form of a novel. It is about a man and his wife and young daughter traveling over an isolated desert region in a station wagon. I read one entry about a drive over a particular stretch of hard, cracked ground and what was seen, the dream journal being from the perspective of the male, who is the driver. I decide to get that one as well.

      Eventually, Zsuzsanna and I are ready to leave. She has a large canvas carry bag full of books. Mine is smaller than a backpack. In order for us to pay, the young Japanese male has to put on a blindfold and determine the price by weight alone as he stands near the section we stopped at. I do not question this. The total cost is fifty dollars. As I go to pay, I see that there is about two hundred dollars in fifties and a few twenties in my wallet. For the third time in this dream, I implement an idea that seems to prove that a part of me knows I am making my dream. Even though I have enough money to pay for the books, I mentally create an additional fifty dollar note on the other side of the twenties.

      From here, my dream fades. However, as it does, I begin to notice additional bills of odd amounts, such as a thirty-four dollar bill, a seventy-dollar bill, and several other fictional values.


      Updated 09-09-2019 at 10:32 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. White Noise Staircase

      by , 02-21-2014 at 08:21 AM
      Night of February 21, 2014. Friday.

      Dream #: 17,231-05. Reading time: 1 min 18 sec. Readability score: 45.



      I become aware that I am dreaming. I first perceive myself to be in a featureless room in semidarkness. Soon, there is the perception of my thoughts and awareness expanding. As a result, a staircase forms with the simultaneous presence of white noise.

      As it appears, it creates the impression of hissing “snowflakes” (white points of light) suddenly coming together to form a white staircase in front of me with the appearance of a photographic negative. Rather than ascending it to investigate, I decide to walk out through a door to my right to wake, but I wake to feel blessed and loved.



      My dream had subliminal influence from a scene from “The Other,” a 1972 horror film, in which Niles is placing cattails everywhere in the barn, including the staircase. (Additionally, carrying and moving the cattails results in a rustling sound similar to white noise.) Even so, it correlates with the autosymbolic construct of the dreaming and waking processes.

      A staircase, which is a factor of vestibular system correlation, becomes a feature in a dream when I either anticipate or subliminally, liminally, or concurrently will a difference in the level of dream state focus of awareness and anticipate changes in perception of my illusory physicality. It is used in meditation and hypnosis to go into and out of different levels of consciousness. Descending the staircase typically correlates with entering the state while ascending correlates with the waking process.

      Precursory contemplation of a vestibular system simulacrum (a projection of the subliminal, liminal, or concurrent anticipation of the waking process) occurs here but does not complete. In the movie, the character Ada (falsely perceived as an angel in the scene in the first moments) attempts to kill Niles by burning the barn down, but he escapes through a door as she jumps into the fire.

      It is intriguing how the subliminal recall of a horror movie can result in a dream of a very different nature with a satisfying outcome.


      Updated 12-14-2018 at 07:42 AM by 1390

      Categories
      lucid
    4. Throwing Out Drunken Men

      by , 01-05-1997 at 07:05 AM
      Morning of January 5, 1997. Sunday.

      Quite a few men want to fight. It is near a flight of stairs (waking precursor feature). The apartment building we are living in seems unfamiliar (though that does not trigger any sort of focus or uncertainty). I seem to have special powers including an ability to transform into having a monstrous appearance.

      The men are drunk and I pound them and toss them down the stairs into an actual pile. More men appear and I am able to throw them about. It seems to be from at least the second floor at one point.

      Oddly, they seem to transform into broken beer bottles at one point. Other beer bottles appear near the top of the stairs, which I also toss down the stairs. After a time, there seems little difference in the essence between the broken beer bottles and what used to be men. (I am not a drinker in real life and it is also quite rare for me to dream about alcoholic beverages in any way.)

      Updated 08-19-2016 at 11:43 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. 3 DREAMS: Spiderwebs; Fish Recycling; Gold Coins

      by , 01-01-1997 at 07:01 AM
      Morning of January 1, 1997. Wednesday.



      House Full of Spiderwebs

      I am in the Loomis Street house, possibly implied to still be living here. My sister Marilyn (half-sister on my mother’s side) is present at times. There are spiderwebs everywhere. (I have dreamt a number of versions of this situation throughout my life. In this dream there is less of a focus on spiders than is usually the case. There is minor frustration at difficulty in moving from one room to another. My dream’s essence is not threatening or nightmarish in any way.)





      Fish Recycling?

      A recycling symbol is rendered as a triangular image of trout or salmon. Its meaning is not fully clear.





      Miniature staircase of gold coins

      I am arranging gold coins while sitting at a table in an unknown location. They form an implied miniature staircase. (Both gold coins and going up a staircase have occurred as dream state exit markers in previous dreams back to early childhood. A staircase typically symbolizes the inevitable return to consciousness as well as the implied exit point of the dream state. It is used the same way in guided meditation and hypnosis.)


    6. The Three Lives of my Dream Girl

      by , 10-13-1979 at 04:13 PM
      Morning of October 13, 1969. Monday.



      This is titled “The Three Lives of my Dream Girl” not because the precognitive rendering of my wife Zsuzsanna has three lives in it but because it was directly influenced by “The Three Lives of Thomasina”.



      I find myself in what seems like an indoor intersection where four staircases go upwards from each direction (yet seems bilocated within the Cubitis living room yet has the typical feeling of being inside and outside at the same time). I follow a black cat that seems a bit familiar (though actually is not in reality as we had a white cat called Snowball). I do not reach the top of the stairs but I do reach an isolated mezzanine that I am aware of by looking over the top step from about the sixth step down. My mystery girl is sleeping on her back. There is a pale orange glow.

      I am wary about bothering her so I turn and crawl across some sort of monkey-bars-like structure. I find “my” staircase and begin to look for my bed to make sure I am in it. Looking back, I see a two-dimensional giant orange tabby cat head just beginning to peak over the implied skirting of the odd adjacent mezzanine (from wherever I now am) and behind the head of the mystery girl’s bed, the floor of the mezzanine (or loft) which now seems hexagonal. I get a vague impression of the oversized black cat statues being alive (though they never actually move) and I hear a vague buzzing sound, like crickets but lower in pitch.



      • I have come to realize that an intersection may be some sort of real-time artifact indicating shared dreaming.
      • A staircase is a real-time symbol of the dream’s status and relates to a potential shift in consciousness, including waking.
      • Zsuzsanna was a cat breeder who went to cat shows when we first wrote, making this dream precognitive in an additional secondary way.
      • A statue coming to life (which does not fully unfold here) is a waking metaphor (waking precursor) that symbolizes the conscious mind becoming more active.
      • A black cat is a circadian rhythms factor (cats being typically perceived as nocturnal) and signifies threads of dawning consciousness in liminal space. In my case, the recurring black cat, or in some cases “shadow cat” or humanlike panther, is a variation of the preconscious personification, though ironically is typically more helpful than when in human form.
      • This is a common daybreak dream (which are about as common as return flight dreams - which represent about twenty percent of all dreams), validated by the presence of the color orange (moderate waking priority) and the giant cat head (almost like a flat stage prop) coming up over the head of the bed as being analogous to sunrise and the emerging conscious self.


      Updated 04-24-2017 at 06:52 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. Corea’s House

      by , 10-22-1977 at 04:22 PM
      Morning of October 22, 1977. Saturday.



      Steve J, Steve W, and possibly Tina L, and others and I are visiting what is supposedly Chick Corea’s house. There is something very special about the house and it has some sort of “magic” as well as being haunted. This has something to do with the jazz fusion group Return to Forever. We go up a flight up steps which seem to be fairly narrow and along the wall (and with no railing). Later, the area looks much like my boarding house on King Street before I lived there or saw any of the inside and there was a very clear precognitive sense.

      There is some minor ambiguity at one point which is related to a book or movie called “Korea’s House”.

      There is a point where we are all leaning back against the wall slightly to stop ourselves from going over the other side of the staircase and it also appears I am watching the scene (including seeing myself) from another perspective. We look as if we are slightly distorted from fun-house mirrors. There is also something about lightning (or a bolt of lightning) moving around inside the house as if it was a “pet” of some kind.

      There is the idea that someone hanged themselves on a chandelier in one room (which turned out to be related to something the pinhead Leonard S told me later on when I lived on King Street and thus also precognitive, though the story was only his fantasy).



      Last updated in 1980 with regard to the precognitive validation.


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