Blue_Opossum

Morning of May 2, 2018. Wednesday.



My dream self is sustained in liminal space in a setting that is implied to be outside at nighttime, rendered mostly as a featureless field with short grass. I am sitting in a lawn chair. My orientation is subliminally perceived as facing north. Several unfamiliar people in the area are also lounging on lawn chairs.

On my right, I see a cane toad on the ground about four feet away. It hops up in slow motion and lands softly on the right arm of my lawn chair but does not touch me. I consider if people are wondering if it is my pet, but I know it is not. I am not contemplating any venomous nature of the creature and do not see it as a threat. Still, I do not want it near me.

It somehow ends up on my left side, on the ground and about three feet away. Its body begins to make unusual movements. Its back is featured somewhat like a beetle’s elytra, though unusual irregular butterfly wings partially emerge from its sides. Its back flexes upward but the wings do not spread and it does not fly. It reminds me very vaguely of the two large fly ashtrays my father bought in the 1970s. (My parents never smoked; the fly ashtrays were kept as a bizarre novelty and decoration.) It almost seems to have the essence of a kitten regarding its interest in me as perhaps seeing me as its master.

A subliminal focus is preventing the completion of the RAS modulation. Something very similar happened in a dream of February 10 of this year, also with a cane toad, but that one was carried about in slow motion by the wind. It is subliminal dream control; an otherwise lucid mechanism that I am utilizing in non-lucidity. In addition to the subtle vestibular system correlation (though the cane toad’s wings are never fully spread out for flight), it seems likely to be based on the typical softening of the core RAS factor otherwise rendered as a snake. Otherwise, cane toads and toads in general are not very common in my dreams, despite being associated more with vestibular system correlation than a snake would be (though as a snake is the core RAS modulation factor, it does not require the additional vestibular association). For cane toads, my online journal at this time only features them in four entries inclusive of this one, two from 2018, the other two from 2014 and 2013. The subliminal RAS softening is additionally evidenced by the cane toad being oriented on my right (as waking orientation within a dream is most often to my right when I sleep on my left side, since my right side is then more exposed to my real environment) - then inexplicably to my left.

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Morning of February 10, 2018. Saturday.



These segments come from the last two hours or so of sleep, of which there are usually a dozen or more segments, not counting the circadian rhythms autosymbolism of which I rarely document anymore, as it is usually of the same imagery or implication (other than at 07 here).

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04. Zsuzsanna is in our bed, apparently sleeping, though it is on a beach. Ocean waves are rolling in, but not as a threat, more like associations with the healing nature of sleep (as water is autosymbolism for the dream state itself).

05. Three unknown girls are together, seemingly sharing one drink (in one glass) but they eventually start shifting identities and appearance too fast to really acknowledge with stable dream self focus, about one per second, which is usually an apex lucidity trigger. In this case, I feel that one may be meant to represent Zsuzsanna. However, upon approach, they are all mannequins, which is RAS autosymbolism from the dream self not having a real physical body, the same as with dolls and robots when rendered as such.

06. I am watching a gondola, trying to decide if I want to be in it, vaguely remembering the autosymbolism for going to another level of unconsciousness (and water reinduction).

07. I am standing at a window (perceived as our bedroom window), undressed, in semidarkness, looking through rattan blinds. I vaguely consider, in only partial lucidity, that this is “wrong”, without fully realizing that our bed’s head is adjacent to the window in reality (thus no place for me to stand), and that we no longer have the blinds after they were destroyed in the November storm that had torn the roof from our house. I have long believed that, other than prescient threads, dreams typically render everything wrongly so as the perceptions do not become a part of viable unconscious memory as in contrast to faux RAS-based memory, which is specifically used in RAS mediation (neural gating) for sleep-wake transitions. This is in contrast to all the people who write about the “subconscious”, of which nearly all that is written is based on incorrect beliefs or popular superstition.

11. I am somehow able to see my feet and legs through my bed sheet, which is transparent. Oddly, even though I had been lucid moments before, I am trying to assign this to a real-life featue. Meanwhile, I “remember” that Zsuzsanna is sitting on a beach, waiting for a healing ritual in sleep paralysis. (A beach is a liminal space transition between different levels of unconsciousness and is used as such in mastership meditation.)

12. I seem to be in Cubitis, and if so, it is likely implied to be a backroad between my old rural home and where I went to school in town. I watch a tortoise as it crosses the road, from my side to the opposite side (west to east). Eventually, four small flames emerge from the tortoise’s shell, one from where each leg had retracted. Apparently, it becomes a miniature version of Gamera (the otherwise giant flying turtle-like monster or kaiju from a series of Japanese films). (This is apparently a carryover from a dream of February 3, where a flame comes from each bottom corner of each boxcar that flies in the air. The association seems to be that, as turtles can symbolize the dream self as being asleep in reality, a boxcar is also a setting where people sleep, such as homeless people in transition. I had not made that obvious connection on February 3.) I look back to see tidal pools and recognize this as water lowering waking symbolism in addition to the return flight waking symbolism (most common form due to ambiguous vestibular system dynamics naturally triggered by being unconscious in REM.)

13. In my most vivid waking transition, I am in the backyard at Stadcor Street in Brisbane (Wavell Heights), where we have not lived in years. The backyard is bigger and the house is implied to be more north of a much wider side yard area at the south. There are also several trees throughout the backyard, of which were never there in reality. It seems to be early morning and is still somewhat dark out but clear enough to see most detail. I sense the waking alert factor (WAF) of RAS mediation (though in false lucidity, not active), but I wish to explore more. However, RAS will have none of that. A large cane toad is present as RAS. It becomes a pest. Vestibular system ambiguity becomes more dominant and the toad swells up like a puffer fish and moves through the air as if manipulated by a varying wind (but not very realistic, as it moves through the air too slowly to be a factor of wind). At one point, as it slowly randomly blows about in the air, yet I just happen to be in its path, the cane toad’s mouth makes contact with my hand. I continuously remain wary of it, and maintain focus on its parotoid glands, though I notice there is minimal bufotoxin already on its body. It is quite silly really; a puffed-up cane toad being carried about by a nearly non-existent wind and tapping against my arms or hands at times as if it was based on magnetism or as a metaphor of slowed film footage. (I guess it is better than being “surprised” by the core WAF as a vivid rendering of a snake, of which apes and even lemurs probably dream about a lot as well.) I eventually wake.

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